I got my eyebrow pierced on Monday. It was an impulse mutilation.
I was curious as to how they would do it. A laser? A hole-punch? Nope. Just a big-ass needle through the eyeball like a Japanese horror movie.
Reminds me of the story of my first piercing.
When I was a teenager, I snuck out of my house to a house party. In a moment of drunken ingenuity, some of the folks there decided to pierce their own nipples. They decided to practice on my ear using a needle and ice cube.
The piercing was a success (I'm glad they did my ear BEFORE the nipple attempts), but they didn't want to use any of the alcohol to disinfect the wound so they poured aftershave on it instead.
I went home and--afraid of waking everyone up--went downstairs and turned the television on. My plan was to pretend I fell asleep downstairs watching television.
Which would have been a fine plan...if I fell asleep in front of the televsion and then a frat party broke in, spilled beer and aftershave all over me and then pierced my ear.
I never claimed to be a jeenius.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, March 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, March 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 7 - Zombie Laughpocalypse, New City, Edmonton
Monday, April 20 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Writing
Dan Brodribb's Geek Love, a column on relationships appears in the culture section at www.suicidegirls.com. Check out the latest column here.
Dan's Wrestling writing appears at worldwrestlinginsanity.com Check out his current article here.
Other Appearances
Saturday, March 28 - OSCW Wrestling - Hazeldean Community Hall
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
More Reasons Dan Loves Comedy & New Wrestling Article
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
I Fought The Gays and the Gays Won
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Comedy Tapings, Suicide Girls & The Kindness of Strangers.
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Shawn Gramiak's Possessed Video Camera
Shawn Gramiak is a very talented performer, but I think there’s something wrong with his video camera.
Shawn was kind enough to lend me his machine to tape a couple of my performances.
The shows were great. The crowds were great. And I also was great. I delivered my best material to the ultimate of my ability. My only worry was my set was so hot, it may have melted the camera.
Imagine my surprised when I reviewed the tape and discovered instead of me on the tape, there was….a guy who looked exactly like me. The only difference was that while I onstage am a panther-graceful, sexually-charged dynamo, my dopplegange on the tape was a swaying, twitching, nervous-tic machine.
It’s a goddamn mystery.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 24 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, March 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Writing
Dan's Wrestling writing appears at worldwrestlinginsanity.com Check out his current article here.
Shawn was kind enough to lend me his machine to tape a couple of my performances.
The shows were great. The crowds were great. And I also was great. I delivered my best material to the ultimate of my ability. My only worry was my set was so hot, it may have melted the camera.
Imagine my surprised when I reviewed the tape and discovered instead of me on the tape, there was….a guy who looked exactly like me. The only difference was that while I onstage am a panther-graceful, sexually-charged dynamo, my dopplegange on the tape was a swaying, twitching, nervous-tic machine.
It’s a goddamn mystery.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 24 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, March 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Writing
Dan's Wrestling writing appears at worldwrestlinginsanity.com Check out his current article here.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
New Wrestling Article Up
It's on the challenges of breaking the news to a romantic prospect that you're involved in the wrestling business.
Check it out here.
Check it out here.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Possibly the Greatest Movie Review Ever
Sometimes people give you a plot summary of a movie that's so great, you don't even want to see the movie anymore because the way they told the story was so fantastic. My father's take on 'Cliffhanger' had me laughing so hard, I never want to see the movie.
Here is another one, courtesy of a friend of mine:
"last night, being that it was Friday the 13th, and my birthday, XXXXX and I watched Jason X. Trust me, you don't want to see it but let me tell you all the plot just for funsies. Jason gets cryogenically frozen in 2010 and then 400 years later people find him still frozen and take him onto their space ship to study him. He wakes up (obviously) and kills a bunch of people. Then they shoot his head off. Then space ants (yes, space ants) help him regenerate into a metal person. Then they manage to kick him off the ship, out into space, and he burns up on re-entry to Earth 2 (because obviously 400 years later Earth 1 doesn't exist). But he doesn't really die. His mask survives. Stay tuned for Jaxon XI.
And then we watched a movie where plants get mad at humans and release gases that makes the people commit suicide. I'm not kidding."
I love it.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 10 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, February 14 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Smith, Alberta
Tuesday, February 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, February 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, February 20 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Beaumont, Alberta
Saturday, February 21 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Edmonton
Sunday, February 22 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Writing
Dan's wrestling writing can be found at World Wrestling Insanity.com. Current article is here.
Here is another one, courtesy of a friend of mine:
"last night, being that it was Friday the 13th, and my birthday, XXXXX and I watched Jason X. Trust me, you don't want to see it but let me tell you all the plot just for funsies. Jason gets cryogenically frozen in 2010 and then 400 years later people find him still frozen and take him onto their space ship to study him. He wakes up (obviously) and kills a bunch of people. Then they shoot his head off. Then space ants (yes, space ants) help him regenerate into a metal person. Then they manage to kick him off the ship, out into space, and he burns up on re-entry to Earth 2 (because obviously 400 years later Earth 1 doesn't exist). But he doesn't really die. His mask survives. Stay tuned for Jaxon XI.
And then we watched a movie where plants get mad at humans and release gases that makes the people commit suicide. I'm not kidding."
I love it.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 10 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, February 14 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Smith, Alberta
Tuesday, February 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, February 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, February 20 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Beaumont, Alberta
Saturday, February 21 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Edmonton
Sunday, February 22 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Writing
Dan's wrestling writing can be found at World Wrestling Insanity.com. Current article is here.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Why Comedy Is Better Live
There is a reason live comedy is so cool. It's because anything can happen.
Like last night, for example.
A regular audience member went up on stage and proposed to his girlfriend. It was a very special moment...although it makes me wonder if instead of having "Our Song," this couple has "Our Joke" now: "Every time Richard Lett does his Woman-hater bit I get misty eyed.". I also wonder since the show ran long, if that's a good omen for a happy marriage.
Either way it was pretty cool. Personally I'm cheering for that couple because a) they come regularly to shows and support us and b) because they dig zombies. Any friend of the living dead is a friend of mine.
Back to my point...
A lot of people form opinions on comedy primarily from TV, DVDs or YouTube videos. I really think that comedy is best in a live environment because of those happy accidents. A DVD or television special is edited and cut together and sweetened with canned laughter. It's professional, but also very sterile.
It might be funny, but it isn't as memorable as say--the power going out in the nightclub leaving the headlining comic performing with no lights and microphone (I've seen this happen, thought not to me. Of course there are people out there who say my shows would be a lot better if they couldn't see or hear me).
Similarly, every live show is different because every crowd brings a different energy. It's what makes each time on stage so interesting.
That's why I'm excited about (not to mention nervous about)tonight's show. It's Andrew Iwanyk's monthly show at the Strip. The reason I like performing on Andrew's shows is Andrew pushes me to do something I would never do under normal circumstances. It's a challenge as a performer and it's also a lot of fun. Not only that, I usually learn from the experience.
Speaking of shows, here's my upcoming schedule. If you drop by, make sure to come say hi. Some people don't like bothering comics after a show, but I say go ahead and bother me. Makes me feel like a star and I never get tired of that.
Have a great week.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 10 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, February 14 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Smith, Alberta
Tuesday, February 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, February 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, February 20 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Beaumont, Alberta
Saturday, February 21 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Edmonton
Sunday, February 22 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Writing
Dan's writing on relationships and dating is at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Dan's wrestling writing can be found at World Wrestling Insanity.com. Current article is here.
Like last night, for example.
A regular audience member went up on stage and proposed to his girlfriend. It was a very special moment...although it makes me wonder if instead of having "Our Song," this couple has "Our Joke" now: "Every time Richard Lett does his Woman-hater bit I get misty eyed.". I also wonder since the show ran long, if that's a good omen for a happy marriage.
Either way it was pretty cool. Personally I'm cheering for that couple because a) they come regularly to shows and support us and b) because they dig zombies. Any friend of the living dead is a friend of mine.
Back to my point...
A lot of people form opinions on comedy primarily from TV, DVDs or YouTube videos. I really think that comedy is best in a live environment because of those happy accidents. A DVD or television special is edited and cut together and sweetened with canned laughter. It's professional, but also very sterile.
It might be funny, but it isn't as memorable as say--the power going out in the nightclub leaving the headlining comic performing with no lights and microphone (I've seen this happen, thought not to me. Of course there are people out there who say my shows would be a lot better if they couldn't see or hear me).
Similarly, every live show is different because every crowd brings a different energy. It's what makes each time on stage so interesting.
That's why I'm excited about (not to mention nervous about)tonight's show. It's Andrew Iwanyk's monthly show at the Strip. The reason I like performing on Andrew's shows is Andrew pushes me to do something I would never do under normal circumstances. It's a challenge as a performer and it's also a lot of fun. Not only that, I usually learn from the experience.
Speaking of shows, here's my upcoming schedule. If you drop by, make sure to come say hi. Some people don't like bothering comics after a show, but I say go ahead and bother me. Makes me feel like a star and I never get tired of that.
Have a great week.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 10 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, February 14 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Smith, Alberta
Tuesday, February 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, February 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, February 20 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Beaumont, Alberta
Saturday, February 21 - PRIVATE FUNCTION - Edmonton
Sunday, February 22 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Writing
Dan's writing on relationships and dating is at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Dan's wrestling writing can be found at World Wrestling Insanity.com. Current article is here.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Smile Time
Have you ever noticed not all smiles are created equal?
They all say different things. Some are forced smiles, masking inner pain. Some are enigmatic, promising unimaginable delight to the one who solves its mysteries. A person’s smile says a lot about how they see themselves and how they see the world. Sometimes it tells you more about that person than they could tell you about themselves.
My brother’s smile is difficult to describe.
Not because there were layers of meaning hidden behind it. If anything, it was the opposite. Tom’s smile left every door and window in his soul thrown wide open, a idiot “I-Am-Awesome-And-The-Whole-World-Is-My-Friend” grin that welcomed whatever the universe had to offer from meeting a new drinking partner to falling down a mountain on skiis.
How do you put something like that in words? You can’t.
Though he only mentioned it in passing, my brother was the person who first introduced me to the idea you can choose to be happy regardless of circumstances. It was a revolutionary concept--“You mean when bad stuff happens, you just DECIDE to be in a good mood anyway?”
What a weirdo idea. I like it though. And as time goes on, I’m finding I’m liking it more and more.
At my brother’s funeral, the priest told Tom’s distraught nephew that “you are your uncle’s face on earth now.” I’m not sure how well something like that resonates with a four-year old but it seemed to calm him down some. For me standing in the background, the thought was scary and comforting at the same time.
The other day my sister-in-law uploaded a bunch of old pictures of my brother. There were pictures of him climbing, skiing, in his truck, and sitting around with friends and his wife.
Most of all, there were pictures of him smiling.
I called a couple of my co-workers over to look, as I did so trying to explain about Tom’s grin and what was so unique about it.
They looked at each other, then looked at me as though I were an idiot. Finally, one of them said. “Your brother’s smile is exactly the same as yours.”
They didn’t know it, but it’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, February 9 - The Comic Strip
Current Writing
Wrestling Writing for World Wrestling Insanity - Dan's Review of the Wrestler can be found here
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
They all say different things. Some are forced smiles, masking inner pain. Some are enigmatic, promising unimaginable delight to the one who solves its mysteries. A person’s smile says a lot about how they see themselves and how they see the world. Sometimes it tells you more about that person than they could tell you about themselves.
My brother’s smile is difficult to describe.
Not because there were layers of meaning hidden behind it. If anything, it was the opposite. Tom’s smile left every door and window in his soul thrown wide open, a idiot “I-Am-Awesome-And-The-Whole-World-Is-My-Friend” grin that welcomed whatever the universe had to offer from meeting a new drinking partner to falling down a mountain on skiis.
How do you put something like that in words? You can’t.
Though he only mentioned it in passing, my brother was the person who first introduced me to the idea you can choose to be happy regardless of circumstances. It was a revolutionary concept--“You mean when bad stuff happens, you just DECIDE to be in a good mood anyway?”
What a weirdo idea. I like it though. And as time goes on, I’m finding I’m liking it more and more.
At my brother’s funeral, the priest told Tom’s distraught nephew that “you are your uncle’s face on earth now.” I’m not sure how well something like that resonates with a four-year old but it seemed to calm him down some. For me standing in the background, the thought was scary and comforting at the same time.
The other day my sister-in-law uploaded a bunch of old pictures of my brother. There were pictures of him climbing, skiing, in his truck, and sitting around with friends and his wife.
Most of all, there were pictures of him smiling.
I called a couple of my co-workers over to look, as I did so trying to explain about Tom’s grin and what was so unique about it.
They looked at each other, then looked at me as though I were an idiot. Finally, one of them said. “Your brother’s smile is exactly the same as yours.”
They didn’t know it, but it’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, February 9 - The Comic Strip
Current Writing
Wrestling Writing for World Wrestling Insanity - Dan's Review of the Wrestler can be found here
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Saturday, January 31, 2009
New Column
I'm excited to announce I have a new writing gig doing columns for a website called World Wrestling Insanity. It's a pretty cool site if you're a wrestling fan because it has a whole ton of audio interviews with wrestlers from this era and the days of yore. The guy in charge, James Guttman also wrote a book called "Shoot First...Ask Questions Later" which is a solid read for anyone interested in wrestling or in reporting/interviewing.
My first column is my thoughts on the movie The Wrestler and you can read it here. The column also contains some pretty candid stuff about how I feel about my current place in show business. I'm surprised I admitted some of that stuff in writing.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, February 9 - The Comic Strip
My first column is my thoughts on the movie The Wrestler and you can read it here. The column also contains some pretty candid stuff about how I feel about my current place in show business. I'm surprised I admitted some of that stuff in writing.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, February 9 - The Comic Strip
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A Blog About Nothing
I was hoping to have some exciting news to report, but so far, things have not materialized as expected.
With nothing to update, I will steer you to my Hot Chicks and Strangers dating blog, where I went on a recent posting frenzy. If you are the political sort, I posted my thoughts on the Presidential inauguration in my wrestling blog of all places. When you read it, you will see why.
Speaking of wrestling, I was riding the bus today and overheard a slightly geeky and overweight fellow lecturing his friend on the history of the Royal Rumble. In twenty minutes, he covered the years 1988-1994 and he was still going strong when I got off the bus.
I don't know which was more embarrassing: Hearing a grown man talk loudly about professional wrestling in a public space, the fact he knew such exhaustive minutiae even wrestlers don't care about, or the fact that I was listening avidly and had to fight the urge to jump in and correct him on a couple of the finer points.
In other news, Bubba and I went out last night to a friend's birthday at a local nightclub. Much drinking and dancing ensued. One nineteen year-old young lady I chatted with was rather stricken that a gentleman in the room was resisting her advances: "I like him, but I don't know if he likes me."
I'm pleased to report that as I left, I saw them kissing beside the DJ booth.
Got to love a happy endings.
With nothing to update, I will steer you to my Hot Chicks and Strangers dating blog, where I went on a recent posting frenzy. If you are the political sort, I posted my thoughts on the Presidential inauguration in my wrestling blog of all places. When you read it, you will see why.
Speaking of wrestling, I was riding the bus today and overheard a slightly geeky and overweight fellow lecturing his friend on the history of the Royal Rumble. In twenty minutes, he covered the years 1988-1994 and he was still going strong when I got off the bus.
I don't know which was more embarrassing: Hearing a grown man talk loudly about professional wrestling in a public space, the fact he knew such exhaustive minutiae even wrestlers don't care about, or the fact that I was listening avidly and had to fight the urge to jump in and correct him on a couple of the finer points.
In other news, Bubba and I went out last night to a friend's birthday at a local nightclub. Much drinking and dancing ensued. One nineteen year-old young lady I chatted with was rather stricken that a gentleman in the room was resisting her advances: "I like him, but I don't know if he likes me."
I'm pleased to report that as I left, I saw them kissing beside the DJ booth.
Got to love a happy endings.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Shows Tonight and A Funny Conversation
Here's my current list of upcoming shows. Hope to see you there.
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, February 9 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
The tribute show for Ripper was on Saturday. It was really well-done. Of course, it wouldn't be wrestling without at least a couple surreal moments.
Here's the one that stuck out for me: Two wrestlers talking backstage.
BAD GUY WRESTLER 1 (after cheating his way to victory and insulting the crowd to a chorus of boos): I guess I better go out there and see if I still have a girlfriend.
BAD GUY WRESTLER 2: She's never seen you wrestle before?
BAD GUY WRESTLER 1: Nope, never even shown her tapes.
BAD GUY WRESTLER 2: (nodding sagaciously)It's always nerve-wracking the first time they see you. They don't always get it.
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, February 9 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
The tribute show for Ripper was on Saturday. It was really well-done. Of course, it wouldn't be wrestling without at least a couple surreal moments.
Here's the one that stuck out for me: Two wrestlers talking backstage.
BAD GUY WRESTLER 1 (after cheating his way to victory and insulting the crowd to a chorus of boos): I guess I better go out there and see if I still have a girlfriend.
BAD GUY WRESTLER 2: She's never seen you wrestle before?
BAD GUY WRESTLER 1: Nope, never even shown her tapes.
BAD GUY WRESTLER 2: (nodding sagaciously)It's always nerve-wracking the first time they see you. They don't always get it.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Phantom Haircut
In the past three days, I have received numerous compliments on my new haircut.
Awesome.
The only thing is...I didn't get a haircut.
My haircut policy remains the same as ever. Every December 24 whether I need one or not.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Awesome.
The only thing is...I didn't get a haircut.
My haircut policy remains the same as ever. Every December 24 whether I need one or not.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, January 02, 2009
New Living Article Up
It's on the Infamous Positivity Jar.
You can read it here.
Upcoming Writing
Friday, January 2 - The Edmonton Journal
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
You can read it here.
Upcoming Writing
Friday, January 2 - The Edmonton Journal
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Dan Is So Hilarious
I was raving to a woman at work the other day about a book my mom lent me, Melissa Gilbert's "Eat Pray Love"
Then I realized the woman I was talking to was a atheist in the midst of a crusade to improve her eating habits.
"Hmm," I told her. "If you wrote this book, it would just be called 'Love.'"
No one appreciates how funny I am.
Then I realized the woman I was talking to was a atheist in the midst of a crusade to improve her eating habits.
"Hmm," I told her. "If you wrote this book, it would just be called 'Love.'"
No one appreciates how funny I am.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Upcoming Stuff
Upcoming Writing
Friday, January 2 - The Edmonton Journal
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Quiet month as far as self-promotion goes.
This upcoming article may very well be my final regular article for the Journal. If you like it (or my humor writing in general), feel free to email them and let them know you enjoyed it.
I'm going to miss doing those articles. If I'm honest with myself, I'm also going to miss my mini-celebrity status. I wonder if this is how the guys from Warrant felt after Nirvana and Pearl Jam single-handedly erased glam rock from the scene.
It's also a great motivator for me to start looking for other places to publish my work as well as finish the two books I'm working on. Dating for Shy Guys is nearly finished. The other--an untitled book about pro-wrestling--is just getting started. In the meantime, it's time to get off my butt and start hustling for more writing work. So far I've got queries going out to Pro Wrestling Illustrated and Buddhism Today--no one can accuse me of not being diverse in my interests.
Anyway, if this is the end, thanks to everyone who read my articles and supported my writing in the Journal and ed magazine over the last three years and a half years or so. Being able to write for the paper I've read all my life was a dream come true and thank you all for the opportunity.
(And if you know anyone interested in buying funny articles about the rather mundane life of a stand-up comic, let me know. I'm not too proud to beg for work--especially when it's something I love doing)
Friday, January 2 - The Edmonton Journal
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, January 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Dan's writing on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Quiet month as far as self-promotion goes.
This upcoming article may very well be my final regular article for the Journal. If you like it (or my humor writing in general), feel free to email them and let them know you enjoyed it.
I'm going to miss doing those articles. If I'm honest with myself, I'm also going to miss my mini-celebrity status. I wonder if this is how the guys from Warrant felt after Nirvana and Pearl Jam single-handedly erased glam rock from the scene.
It's also a great motivator for me to start looking for other places to publish my work as well as finish the two books I'm working on. Dating for Shy Guys is nearly finished. The other--an untitled book about pro-wrestling--is just getting started. In the meantime, it's time to get off my butt and start hustling for more writing work. So far I've got queries going out to Pro Wrestling Illustrated and Buddhism Today--no one can accuse me of not being diverse in my interests.
Anyway, if this is the end, thanks to everyone who read my articles and supported my writing in the Journal and ed magazine over the last three years and a half years or so. Being able to write for the paper I've read all my life was a dream come true and thank you all for the opportunity.
(And if you know anyone interested in buying funny articles about the rather mundane life of a stand-up comic, let me know. I'm not too proud to beg for work--especially when it's something I love doing)
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Dan vs. Inner Peace
I'm pretty good at inner peace...as long as I'm in my room or just reading about it.
As soon as I start dealing with other people and the realities of life, my sense of enlightenment and one-ness with the universe is rudely awakened.
As the saying goes, "If you think you're enlightened, spend time with your parents."
SOmetimes I think that's why those monks retreat in the first place. Because they're smart enough to realize the demands of the world make it hard to maintain inner quiet.
The trouble is, what good do you do the world by retreating from it?
I would probably be more enlightened if I lived on a mountain top somewhere.
But I wouldn't have nearly as much fun.
As soon as I start dealing with other people and the realities of life, my sense of enlightenment and one-ness with the universe is rudely awakened.
As the saying goes, "If you think you're enlightened, spend time with your parents."
SOmetimes I think that's why those monks retreat in the first place. Because they're smart enough to realize the demands of the world make it hard to maintain inner quiet.
The trouble is, what good do you do the world by retreating from it?
I would probably be more enlightened if I lived on a mountain top somewhere.
But I wouldn't have nearly as much fun.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Football and the Power of Belief
I found this article this article kind of touching.
Maybe it's cause I'm a football fan.
I don't know if that's it though. I'm also a fan of the wrestling business and generally in the pro wrestling biz, we frown on deliberately splitting a crowd reaction.
I'm also not a big fan of religion in secular settings, and though it isn't explicitly stated in the article, I have a suspicion Grapevine is a fundamentalist school. Regardless, if you're going to hold an institution--religious or otherwise--responsible for its wrongs, I think you're honor-bound to give them points when they do good things as well. Otherwise you're just picking your spots.
And when you read it, you might think, so what?
Well, for me this is the what.
I've seen myself the power of believing in people. Working in the hospitals...answering the Distress Lines...even in comedy, wrestling, or even in your personal life...people will live up to the faith you have in them(*).
It seems like such a small thing, in some ways it seems like NOTHING, but it makes an enormous difference.
Little things have big impacts and belief does a lot of powerful good things. For the person being believed in...and also for the believer.
Happy Holidays, everybody.
(*) On the flip side, if you expect the worst from people, they are perfectly capable of living down to that too. I know which I prefer, but some folks enjoy being miserable and I while I don't understand it, it isn't my place to judge.
Maybe it's cause I'm a football fan.
I don't know if that's it though. I'm also a fan of the wrestling business and generally in the pro wrestling biz, we frown on deliberately splitting a crowd reaction.
I'm also not a big fan of religion in secular settings, and though it isn't explicitly stated in the article, I have a suspicion Grapevine is a fundamentalist school. Regardless, if you're going to hold an institution--religious or otherwise--responsible for its wrongs, I think you're honor-bound to give them points when they do good things as well. Otherwise you're just picking your spots.
And when you read it, you might think, so what?
Well, for me this is the what.
I've seen myself the power of believing in people. Working in the hospitals...answering the Distress Lines...even in comedy, wrestling, or even in your personal life...people will live up to the faith you have in them(*).
It seems like such a small thing, in some ways it seems like NOTHING, but it makes an enormous difference.
Little things have big impacts and belief does a lot of powerful good things. For the person being believed in...and also for the believer.
Happy Holidays, everybody.
(*) On the flip side, if you expect the worst from people, they are perfectly capable of living down to that too. I know which I prefer, but some folks enjoy being miserable and I while I don't understand it, it isn't my place to judge.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Why Buddhists Don't Have Television Sets
Because in the inner calm department, thirteen seconds of an NFL game can undo two years of meditation.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Random Musings on Comedy
Upcoming Comedy
Friday, December 5 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Drayton Valley
Saturday, December 6 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Edmonton
Saturday, December 13 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Edmonton
Monday, December 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, January 2
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League POSTPONED UNTIL JANUARY
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Dan's Wrestling Blog is here
I got into an argument a couple days ago with another comic. We were arguing over whether an out-of-town headliner was any good.
It should have been an easy question. I found the comic in question unwatchable for anything longer than two or three minutes at a time. It was my least favorite kind of comedy: empty calorie comedy based on cheerleading, energy, and stock premises coupled with relentless shilling for merchandise.
It wasn't to my taste, but I had a hard time saying it was bad.
Maybe it’s because I’m wishy-washy and conflict averse.
Or maybe it’s because--at the end of the day--the crowd ate up this headliner with a fork and spoon. They loved the show.
That’s something.
After all, being able to keep and audience involved and interested in a 100% content-free performance (not to mention having them buy your merchandise afterwards) takes a lot of talent. And let’s face it, if you want to be a stand-up comic, but you can’t write and you won’t steal, you don‘t have a lot of options left.
This is one of the interesting things about comedy culture. It values originality and innovation over doing what has worked in the past.
The wrestling business tends towards the opposite end of the spectrum. In wrestling, you’re encouraged to learn from everybody, whether you like what they do or not.
They also encourage wrestlers to learn how to work using a lot of stock stuff first and concern themselves with “getting their own shit in” or doing something different only AFTER they’ve mastered the fundamentals.
A lot of it has to do with the nature of the art. In comedy, you’re on your own. In wrestling, you’re working with other guys. So it’s only natural, wrestling would be more conservative about “going into business for yourself.”
Wrestling is pragmatic--the best wrestler in the world is the guy who sells the most tickets. Period.
Comedy, on the other hand, doesn’t judge itself on whether or not the crowd liked it. Heck, sometimes comics give the most props to guys who go out of their way to alienate the audience.
Who’s right? Who’s wrong?
I don’t know. I believe that each performer has to decide for his- or herself. I also believe that no one else has the right to judge them for their choice. Just because you or I doesn’t like something doesn’t make it bad.
Besides, I have no control over what someone else does in their act. When it comes to show business, like it or not, the only thing I have power over is our own performance.
Whether I like it or not.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Mom Has A New Car
So we all piled in and went for a drive. It felt like the nineteen fifties--Let's go for a ride in the new car!!
It also felt like taking my life in my hands, me in the front seat, the sister and brother in law in the back, and mom driving, prattling happily away about how she "doesn't quite know where everything is and what everything does yet."
ME: Hey, my arse is on fire.
Apparently this car has heated seats.
Cool.
It also felt like taking my life in my hands, me in the front seat, the sister and brother in law in the back, and mom driving, prattling happily away about how she "doesn't quite know where everything is and what everything does yet."
ME: Hey, my arse is on fire.
Apparently this car has heated seats.
Cool.
Friday, November 28, 2008
New Living Article Up
It's about my life as a Ultimate Fighting Machine.
Check it out here.
Have a great weekend everybody.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Check it out here.
Have a great weekend everybody.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Dan Gets Tortured in the Name of Art.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday I spent a couple hours hanging by my hands from the ceiling while a guy with a knife tortured me. The knife was okay; the hanging less pleasant.
An earlier text exchange between me and the Slayer
HER: I’m working today
ME: Cool. I’m going to be tortured to death by a rogue military operative.
HER: Have fun. C U tonight.
The woman in my life is very understanding.
Yes, it was a movie. Yes, it was fun.
Also, very, very uncomfortable. Apparently, hanging from the ceiling is not great for the circulation in your hands.
It probably didn’t help that I had to keep making jokes during the filming. I can’t help myself. I just like to see if I can make guys break character.
Rogue Military Guy: You’re awake. I’ve got fifteen hours to kill. Tell me what I want to know or I‘m going to see how long I can make you hurt without dying.
ME: You had me at “You’re awake.”
He laughed. On the other hand, it meant we had to do another take.
But it was worth it...probably. I’ll know for sure once I get feeling back in my right thumb.
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday I spent a couple hours hanging by my hands from the ceiling while a guy with a knife tortured me. The knife was okay; the hanging less pleasant.
An earlier text exchange between me and the Slayer
HER: I’m working today
ME: Cool. I’m going to be tortured to death by a rogue military operative.
HER: Have fun. C U tonight.
The woman in my life is very understanding.
Yes, it was a movie. Yes, it was fun.
Also, very, very uncomfortable. Apparently, hanging from the ceiling is not great for the circulation in your hands.
It probably didn’t help that I had to keep making jokes during the filming. I can’t help myself. I just like to see if I can make guys break character.
Rogue Military Guy: You’re awake. I’ve got fifteen hours to kill. Tell me what I want to know or I‘m going to see how long I can make you hurt without dying.
ME: You had me at “You’re awake.”
He laughed. On the other hand, it meant we had to do another take.
But it was worth it...probably. I’ll know for sure once I get feeling back in my right thumb.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Dan's Birthday Extravaganza
My birthday party is tomorrow (Saturday, November 15) at Rosario's Pub on 11715 - 108 Ave in Edmonton. We're singing Karaoke.
If you're around, feel free to stop by. If I know you, it will be great to see you, and if I don't I'd love the chance to meet you.
I'll be there around nine.
And if you can't make it tomorrow, here's my upcoming schedule.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, November 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
If you're around, feel free to stop by. If I know you, it will be great to see you, and if I don't I'd love the chance to meet you.
I'll be there around nine.
And if you can't make it tomorrow, here's my upcoming schedule.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, November 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Appearances
World War Wrestling - Friday, December 12 - Fulton Place Community League
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Back in Wrasslin'
I am sitting among a pile of CDS, trying to decide on my theme music.
Clearly, I have the toughest life ever.
The reason I'm picking out potential theme music is because I'm involved with World War Wrestling, which are hosting their inaugural show at Fulton Place Community League in Edmonton this Saturday night.
It's the first non-MPW show I've ever been involved in. I'm nervous and excited at the same time about being in a different locker room. I also have some mixed emotions since the memorial service for Trev was just a couple days ago and it's hard to think of wrestling without thinking of him, my friend and broadcast partner for so long.
It did feel good to see everyone at the service though and brought back a lot of great memories. It's sad that it took Ripper's passing to make me remember and really appreciate those guys. I've learned from all of them and had a blast doing it.
I am thrilled to be back in wrestling though. It's been a while since I've been involved in a show, and this would be as good a time as any to thank Massive Damage for taking a chance on me a few years ago by sticking an untested internet geek in the booth as a commentator (technically, I met Massive through Roni the Super-Fan, so I guess I should credit her with "breaking me into the business").
Anyway, here's the promo material, straight from the 3W Facebook Group.
"World War Wrestling presents their first show this SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8TH.
Date: Saturday, November 8, 2008
Time: Doors at 6:30pm, show at 7:00pm
Location: Fulton Place Community League
Street: 6115 Fulton Road
City: Edmonton, AB
Tickets are $15 and can be purchased at Eden Gentlemens Club on 97st, or at the door, but get there early because this show WILL sell out.
The main event features JD MICHAELS returning to Edmonton after making a huge name for himself in the US and OVW, to take on SCOTTY PUTTY, who is hot off a 1st place win this weekend in the Alberta Bodybuilding Association Fall Classic. This match is a qualifier for the 3W Cup!
The show also features BRADY ROBERTS taking on ECLIPSE in a qualifier for the 3W Cup!
Also in action will be LEE DAWSON, another star from the USA coming in to test himself against the competition in 3W! Just signed on is former MPW star EVAN INFERNO! Also appearing are DERYCK CROSSE, BOBBY FLETCHER, SHAGGY RAY CYRUS, PETE POWERS, HEAVY METAL, and many more!
Don't miss the show THIS SATURDAY NIGHT!"
Hope to see you there.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, November 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Upcoming Appearances
World War Wrestling - Fulton Place Community Hall, Edmonton
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Clearly, I have the toughest life ever.
The reason I'm picking out potential theme music is because I'm involved with World War Wrestling, which are hosting their inaugural show at Fulton Place Community League in Edmonton this Saturday night.
It's the first non-MPW show I've ever been involved in. I'm nervous and excited at the same time about being in a different locker room. I also have some mixed emotions since the memorial service for Trev was just a couple days ago and it's hard to think of wrestling without thinking of him, my friend and broadcast partner for so long.
It did feel good to see everyone at the service though and brought back a lot of great memories. It's sad that it took Ripper's passing to make me remember and really appreciate those guys. I've learned from all of them and had a blast doing it.
I am thrilled to be back in wrestling though. It's been a while since I've been involved in a show, and this would be as good a time as any to thank Massive Damage for taking a chance on me a few years ago by sticking an untested internet geek in the booth as a commentator (technically, I met Massive through Roni the Super-Fan, so I guess I should credit her with "breaking me into the business").
Anyway, here's the promo material, straight from the 3W Facebook Group.
"World War Wrestling presents their first show this SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8TH.
Date: Saturday, November 8, 2008
Time: Doors at 6:30pm, show at 7:00pm
Location: Fulton Place Community League
Street: 6115 Fulton Road
City: Edmonton, AB
Tickets are $15 and can be purchased at Eden Gentlemens Club on 97st, or at the door, but get there early because this show WILL sell out.
The main event features JD MICHAELS returning to Edmonton after making a huge name for himself in the US and OVW, to take on SCOTTY PUTTY, who is hot off a 1st place win this weekend in the Alberta Bodybuilding Association Fall Classic. This match is a qualifier for the 3W Cup!
The show also features BRADY ROBERTS taking on ECLIPSE in a qualifier for the 3W Cup!
Also in action will be LEE DAWSON, another star from the USA coming in to test himself against the competition in 3W! Just signed on is former MPW star EVAN INFERNO! Also appearing are DERYCK CROSSE, BOBBY FLETCHER, SHAGGY RAY CYRUS, PETE POWERS, HEAVY METAL, and many more!
Don't miss the show THIS SATURDAY NIGHT!"
Hope to see you there.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, November 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Other Upcoming Appearances
World War Wrestling - Fulton Place Community Hall, Edmonton
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Dan's Upcoming Schedule
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, November 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Monday, November 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, November 25 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, November 26 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, November 27 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, November 28 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, November 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, November 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, November 28
Friday, December 26
Current article can be found here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween Article Up
My latest Journal article is up here. I don't know who came up with the headline, but kudos to them. I love it.
I also wanted to call people's attention to this article.
Volunteering on the Distress line is still something I consider one of the best things I've ever done. It did more than help other people. It helped me become a better person, and almost every really good thing that ever happened to me happened AFTER I started volunteering there.
So if you think you might be interested or know someone who would, I'd encourage you to give The Support Network a call at (780) 482-0198 and talk to the volunteer coordinator.
I also wanted to call people's attention to this article.
Volunteering on the Distress line is still something I consider one of the best things I've ever done. It did more than help other people. It helped me become a better person, and almost every really good thing that ever happened to me happened AFTER I started volunteering there.
So if you think you might be interested or know someone who would, I'd encourage you to give The Support Network a call at (780) 482-0198 and talk to the volunteer coordinator.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
RIP Ripper
Trevor Grimolfson, who was my broadcast partner hosting the TV show MPW Madness, passed away suddenly yesterday at 38 years old.
To say we were an odd couple would be an understatement--me, the stand-up comic/writer/internet nerd and him, a loud, larger-than-life tattoo-artist. But despite our different backgrounds, the Ripper and I always got along both professionally and personally. There were times we might have had TOO much fun; if there was a blooper reel of our tapings they would include some blown lines, some obscene jokes, and at one point--if memory serves me--a hip-hop battle.
Everyone who knew Trev has stories about his big heart. I remember him being a big part of Heavy Metal's eighteenth birthday party and making sure everyone got home safely. There were some more colorful stories as well, and the punchline to one of them "YOU BETTER GET SOME MORE GUYS!" became an oft-used catchphrase in the MPW locker room.
Trevor loved his family. He was generous to a fault and would got to any length to take care of his family, his friends and loved ones. I met Tash and Little T on many occasions and my heart goes out to them as well as the rest of his family and friends.
I fell out of touch with Trevor over the last year or so. The last time I saw him was a chance meeting in a karaoke bar, where in true Trevor fashion, he paid for my pizza and rapped out a Tupac song.
The circumstances around Trevor's passing are as controversial as the way he lived. I feel I should comment, but can't find it in myself to start passing judgement or laying blame for either the way he lived or the way he died.
I can say this though.
Heaven better get some more guys.
I miss you Trev.
ADDENDUM - Incidentally, if anybody has copies of the MPW Madness TV show, I'd love to have copies, since I don't have any of our television work. It would be a fitting way to remember the Ripper.)
To say we were an odd couple would be an understatement--me, the stand-up comic/writer/internet nerd and him, a loud, larger-than-life tattoo-artist. But despite our different backgrounds, the Ripper and I always got along both professionally and personally. There were times we might have had TOO much fun; if there was a blooper reel of our tapings they would include some blown lines, some obscene jokes, and at one point--if memory serves me--a hip-hop battle.
Everyone who knew Trev has stories about his big heart. I remember him being a big part of Heavy Metal's eighteenth birthday party and making sure everyone got home safely. There were some more colorful stories as well, and the punchline to one of them "YOU BETTER GET SOME MORE GUYS!" became an oft-used catchphrase in the MPW locker room.
Trevor loved his family. He was generous to a fault and would got to any length to take care of his family, his friends and loved ones. I met Tash and Little T on many occasions and my heart goes out to them as well as the rest of his family and friends.
I fell out of touch with Trevor over the last year or so. The last time I saw him was a chance meeting in a karaoke bar, where in true Trevor fashion, he paid for my pizza and rapped out a Tupac song.
The circumstances around Trevor's passing are as controversial as the way he lived. I feel I should comment, but can't find it in myself to start passing judgement or laying blame for either the way he lived or the way he died.
I can say this though.
Heaven better get some more guys.
I miss you Trev.
ADDENDUM - Incidentally, if anybody has copies of the MPW Madness TV show, I'd love to have copies, since I don't have any of our television work. It would be a fitting way to remember the Ripper.)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Big Words, Little Words
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Recently at my office job, I had the assignment of paring down the City of Edmonton's emergency plan for easy reading.
At first I didn't think I could do it. It was incomprehensible.
Finally, out of desperation, I just started cutting words out of each sentenceI am until at last meaning rose out of the thicket of bureaucratese.
THEIR VERSION:
The initial emergency response of emergency services first
responders will result in an on-scene assessment of the situation. If
it is determined that the situation is beyond that of a normal
response, they will (in consultation with other agencies as
appropriate) determine the extent of the response that will be
required to deal effectively with the emergency, and notify the OEP
accordingly.
MY VERSION:
"The first guys there check everything out and then call for help if they need it."
I am a big fan of brevity. So much so, I considered eliminating 'big' from the previous sentence.
Maybe it's the stand up comedian in me. Less words = less confused audience + "punchier punchline" = Bigger and better laughs.
On the other hand, there's something to be said for being verbose. I'm writing a book right now (Dating for Shy Guys). I want the book to be as simple as possible so that someone with virtually no dating experience (like me two or three years ago) can pick it up and follow the bouncing ball.
It makes me realize how simple dating really is. I feel people are going to read the book and go, "Well, duh, everybody knows that (*)." I almost feel like I should add a few acronyms, jargon, and verbal razzle-dazzle to make myself sound smarter and more expert.
We'll see what happens, I guess.
(*) I've noticed Everybody knows a lot. I've also noticed that the gulf between what Everybody KNOWS and what Everybody actually DOES is much wider than Everybody cares to admit.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Dan Hits A Car With A Hammer For Charity. It Was Fun
Here’s one more reason I love living in Edmonton.
I was walking through the quad at the University of Alberta when a guy called out to me: “Hey, man. Want to bust up a car for two dollars?”
I looked at him thoughtfully and said. “Can it be any car?”
Sadly, my car-busting-up options were limited to the Chrysler Le Baron set up on a tarp. For two dollars, I could hit it with either a baseball bat, or a small sledgehammer. The money raised went to the Kidney Foundation.
“The hammer does more damage,” the guy--whose name was Chris--told me. “But the bat feels way more satisfying.”
He was right on both counts.
New Living Article comes out this Friday (Oct 31). It's on Zombies, which is apropos, I think.
I was walking through the quad at the University of Alberta when a guy called out to me: “Hey, man. Want to bust up a car for two dollars?”
I looked at him thoughtfully and said. “Can it be any car?”
Sadly, my car-busting-up options were limited to the Chrysler Le Baron set up on a tarp. For two dollars, I could hit it with either a baseball bat, or a small sledgehammer. The money raised went to the Kidney Foundation.
“The hammer does more damage,” the guy--whose name was Chris--told me. “But the bat feels way more satisfying.”
He was right on both counts.
New Living Article comes out this Friday (Oct 31). It's on Zombies, which is apropos, I think.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Entertaining Links/Serious Links
Couple of the best stuff I've read recently.
Patrick Hruby's column here is funny, although it helps if you're an NFL fan. If you don't know anything about the Favre/Lions saga, go here to get up to speed. Basically, quarterback Brett Favre was accused of giving the Detroit Lions (a team he doesn't play for) information on his former team the Green Bay Packers.
I also really like this column by Ciaran Healy. Not funny at all, but it's good writing, and I think there's more than a grain of truth in what he's saying. Food for thought.
Patrick Hruby's column here is funny, although it helps if you're an NFL fan. If you don't know anything about the Favre/Lions saga, go here to get up to speed. Basically, quarterback Brett Favre was accused of giving the Detroit Lions (a team he doesn't play for) information on his former team the Green Bay Packers.
I also really like this column by Ciaran Healy. Not funny at all, but it's good writing, and I think there's more than a grain of truth in what he's saying. Food for thought.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
"Screaming Like Banshees"
The Undead invaded Edmonton last night.
And I was proud to be a part of it.
The River City Zombie Committee held a Zombie Prom, which is exactly what it sounds like. We all dressed up like zombies, walked down Whyte Avenue in character ("Braaiins, Braiins")...then took the LRT to Jasper Avenue ("Traiinns...traiins.") and headed down that way.
It was fun. We got some strange looks and a lot of people taking pictures with their cellphones. There were some great costumes too.
I'll post a link to some pics when I see them.
My favorite part was staggering by the bars and liquor stores with my ID held up or 'attacking' a group in a car while they giggled and took pictures.
Shuffling, moaning and groaning has never been so much fun.
Afterwards we went to the Deadmonton horror festival where I saw Night of the Creeps for the first time since Junior High School.
I remember watching it with my friend Chuck and loving it. I wasn't sure if seeing it again it would be as good as I remembered.
It was even better.
What made it an even more cool experience was that Night of the Creeps isn't available on DVD so this is the only way I was ever going to get a chance to see it again.
And I was proud to be a part of it.
The River City Zombie Committee held a Zombie Prom, which is exactly what it sounds like. We all dressed up like zombies, walked down Whyte Avenue in character ("Braaiins, Braiins")...then took the LRT to Jasper Avenue ("Traiinns...traiins.") and headed down that way.
It was fun. We got some strange looks and a lot of people taking pictures with their cellphones. There were some great costumes too.
I'll post a link to some pics when I see them.
My favorite part was staggering by the bars and liquor stores with my ID held up or 'attacking' a group in a car while they giggled and took pictures.
Shuffling, moaning and groaning has never been so much fun.
Afterwards we went to the Deadmonton horror festival where I saw Night of the Creeps for the first time since Junior High School.
I remember watching it with my friend Chuck and loving it. I wasn't sure if seeing it again it would be as good as I remembered.
It was even better.
What made it an even more cool experience was that Night of the Creeps isn't available on DVD so this is the only way I was ever going to get a chance to see it again.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
McDonalds is Open and Other Excuses
This is a quote I read off retired pro-wrestler Lance Storm's site.
"Indy shows always have an excuse for a bad gate: a local football game, bad weather, you name it. Tracey Smoothers had the best excuse, which he jokingly used in SMW. “McDonalds is open, you can’t compete with that!” There is a great Stu Hart quote that I prefer to use, “If you give them what they want, they’ll come out.” Even the best excuse in the world only says fans would rather do something else than see your show.
I love both the Smothers quote (Lance misspelled it) and Hart's rejoinder. I think it's something all of us in the entertainment business would do to remember.
"Indy shows always have an excuse for a bad gate: a local football game, bad weather, you name it. Tracey Smoothers had the best excuse, which he jokingly used in SMW. “McDonalds is open, you can’t compete with that!” There is a great Stu Hart quote that I prefer to use, “If you give them what they want, they’ll come out.” Even the best excuse in the world only says fans would rather do something else than see your show.
I love both the Smothers quote (Lance misspelled it) and Hart's rejoinder. I think it's something all of us in the entertainment business would do to remember.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Reasons I Love Writing #2464
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
You can make anything interesting.
Take this blog.
This guy's gimmick is, he's going to listen to audio clips of Eckhart "As Seen On Oprah" Tolle for THREE years.
Wow. To me that sounds crazy and boring and completely missing the point of Tolle's writing at the same time.
Yet the guy is writing about it.
And damned if he hasn't made it interesting.
I still think his mission is crazy and boring and missing the point (*).
But it's also compelling reading.
In the words of my late brother, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, so long as it makes for a good story."
Good luck, buddy
I'll be reading.
(*) Then again, in his defense, "crazy, boring, and completely missing the point" would be an accurate description of MOST people's life paths--mine included.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Latest Living Article is up.
You can read it HERE.
Also, I have a few new posts on hotchicksandstrangers and the Elton John song "I Don't Want To Go On With You Like That" stuck in my head.
Consider yourselves updated.
Upcoming Comedy
Saturday, October 18 - Fort McMurray
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Also, I have a few new posts on hotchicksandstrangers and the Elton John song "I Don't Want To Go On With You Like That" stuck in my head.
Consider yourselves updated.
Upcoming Comedy
Saturday, October 18 - Fort McMurray
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Makin' Movies
I got a small role in a TV pilot yesterday. My role was being knocked unconscious by the butt end of a rifle and stuffed in the back of a van.
At least I survived this time (although by all accounts, I am to be tortured to death in a later scene). Whether I'm a zombie, a thug, or a bartender, my role usually involves a quick and violent death (or in the case of one episode of MPW Madness, getting a pie in the face).
It was interesting acting in a full mask and body suit. It was an interesting challenge because I had to make all my reactions bigger with my body to get across what my character was feeling. I realize not many people are going to be paying attention to "Cleaner 02," but it keeps things interesting for me. My pro-wrestling buddies were right; you do have to make everything bigger when you're wearing a mask.
One of the other guys at the shoot was really cool. He's a bouncer/professional hypnotist/paintball enthusiast. Needless to say, he was a lot of fun to talk with.
And I thought I had diverse interests.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, October 18 - Fort McMurray
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
At least I survived this time (although by all accounts, I am to be tortured to death in a later scene). Whether I'm a zombie, a thug, or a bartender, my role usually involves a quick and violent death (or in the case of one episode of MPW Madness, getting a pie in the face).
It was interesting acting in a full mask and body suit. It was an interesting challenge because I had to make all my reactions bigger with my body to get across what my character was feeling. I realize not many people are going to be paying attention to "Cleaner 02," but it keeps things interesting for me. My pro-wrestling buddies were right; you do have to make everything bigger when you're wearing a mask.
One of the other guys at the shoot was really cool. He's a bouncer/professional hypnotist/paintball enthusiast. Needless to say, he was a lot of fun to talk with.
And I thought I had diverse interests.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, October 18 - Fort McMurray
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, October 10, 2008
Dan's Underground Comedy Tour Comes Above-Ground
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Longtime readers might remember Dan's Underground Comedy Tour where I told jokes in the LRT station.
Just for fun, I decided to revisit the experiment, telling jokes in public.
It was not like riding a bike. It was tough to do again. I may have to make it a semi-regular part of my practice (yes, comedians DO practice--at least, I do) because I find I get so much out of it.
I did notice people were more inclined to stop and watch this time. Maybe it was the location; maybe it was the fact some of them were lower traffic areas and people are more likely to stop when there isn't a big crowd (If you took social psychology in university, you'll know why).
But I also think some of it is me. My stage presence has improved that people are more inclined to stop and pay attention. Heck, that's what stage presence is--being compelling enought that people want to watch you without changing the channel.
I'm not saying I have the greatest stage presence in the world.
But I'm making progress.
To me that's the thing that counts the most.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
The Wisdom of Jim Cornette
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
(I was originally going to post this exclusively on the hotchicksandstrangers blog, but it occurred to me that this applies to more than just romantic partners. It also applies to stand-up comedy, sales, personal lives, or pretty much any aspect of dealing with other human beings)
This is going to sound weird, but a lot of what I learned about romance (and stand-up comedy for that matter) came from learning about the psychology of pro-wrestling. While a lot of what I picked up came from picking the brains of experienced wrestlers, I got some stuff off some DVDs. My favorites are Behind Closed Doors with Jake Roberts and Secrets of the Ring with Jim Cornette.
Both DVDs are awesome, but today I want to paraphrase something Cornette said. He was talking about wrestling fans, but I think it applies equally well to potential romantic partners (or--as stated above--pretty much anything else--db).
Picture your pool of potential partners as one of those circular targets used for archery or darts. Each ring represents a group of people
· The smallest, inner-most ring is the people who are going to like you no matter what you do. For whatever reason, they will dig you no matter what.
· The second ring, is a slightly larger group. They’re the people who are going to like you when you’re at your best. They’ll show up as long as you meet their standards, but if you mess up, they’re gone.
· An even larger group is in the third ring. They are people who will like you if you’re “somebody.” They‘ll like your rich or famous or because other people like you.
· The fourth and final group, is everyone else in the world. They either don’t like you, don’t give a shit about you one way or the other, or have no idea who you are and never will.
Here’s what struck me about Cornette‘s Circle.
1 - You have no control over which circle someone falls into. Some people will like you no matter what. Some people will like you if you’re good. Some people will like you if you’re lucky enough to hit the big time. And some people are going to dislike you no matter what, and there’s no way you can change their mind.
But it’s not in your power to ‘assign’ people into a circle. All you can do is make the choices that feel right to you, shoot for your potential and people will either come along or they won’t.
2 - You can’t tell by looking which people fall into which category. A lot of people I know just assume people won’t like them and don’t even make the effort to get to know them (And on a personal level, this used to be one of my biggest problems…and it still is sometimes).
Once I started looking at things in this way, it took a lot of stress off me. It also gave me the freedom to stop trying to impress people and instead focusing on expressing myself and trusting that the people who are into my romantic type (or comedy audience, or whatever) would find me.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Mental Health Awareness Week
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
It's Mental Health Awareness Week.
Saw a cool show at the University this afternoon. David Granirer from Stand Up For Mental Health was in town to do a show. In addition to doing comedy and working as a counsellor, he also teaches stand-up to people with mental illnesses in Vancouver.
He showed clips of his students and they were quite technically sound as comedians.
Needless to say I found this fascinating. After all, I like teaching, I REALLY like comedy, and I have some interest in the mental health field from my experience volunteering on the Distress Line (Here's the link if you're interested in Distress Line volunteering in Edmonton).
Apparently Dave's students also are in demand to do shows all over the place, which is cool, although the thought that went through my head was, "No wonder it's so hard to find stage time in Vancouver."
For Fans of Zombies and Choose Your Own Adventures
A friend sent me this link. It's fun.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, October 02, 2008
New Living Column is Up
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
The latest living column is up here. If it weren't for my inability to upload video auditions, I might be a reality show contestant right now.
In other news, my supervisor brought her one-year old into the office. He loves balls (Obvious joke here--"What guy doesn't?") whether it's stability balls or those round, paper Chinese decorations. "Ball" was even one of his first words.
If you're wondering why I'm bringing this up, it's because of this old column of mine re: putting the baby on the ball.
Clearly one of us was right and one of us was wrong. Although to be fair, I wouldn't have thought of it had she not told me not to do it (there's a lot of negatives in that last sentence. Sorry if it's confusing).
Yes, I AM gloating.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Gonzo Photojournalism
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I did the photo shoot for my next batch of articles today, appearing at the Journal offices carrying a hockey stick, a plastic skeleton, and a duffle bag filled with various odds and ends to the amusement of the staff.
I wonder if Hunter S. Thompson had days like that.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Hot Chicks And...Dan?
There's a website called Hot Chicks With Doucebags which is about...actually, now that I think about it, it's pretty self-explanatory.
It's pictures of guys (douchebags) with women (hot chicks)and accompanying text that is mostly tearing down the guy, talking about how hot the woman is, followed by the occasional bellyaching about "how come women like that end up with guys like him?" Sometimes he even fantasizes about riding in and rescuing these innocent women from the clutches of greasy douchebags everywhere.
It's funny stuff, but (deliberately or not) the guy seems to miss a couple points.
Point One - If there is one central tenet I've learned about romantic relationships, it's this: People find each other for a reason.
I'm not sure whether that's uplifting or chilling. But I do believe it's a fact (supplemented by the Dawn Dumont Corrollary: The two most damaged people in the bar will always find one another)
Part two will continue after these announcements from your sponsor...
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Welcome back.
Point Two - A woman in a picture with a guy is not necessarily WITH that guy in any meaningful sense of the word.
I know this for a fact because there are enough pictures of me with women on my camera and many others to start a 'Hot Chicks with Dan' website (with enough left over for a 'Passable Chicks With Dan' website, followed by a 'Great Personalitied Girls With Dan' website)
Why do these pictures exist? Because I go out dancing to clubs regularly to dance, and invariably women will want pictures of themselves with me.
I tell myself it's because they know I'm a comedy superstar (Cold Lake, tonight--here I come)or my status as Brilliant Writer/Voice of a Generation (and Monster Pro Wrestling, lest we forget).
But I think mostly because there's something fun about getting your picture taken with the eccentric, thirty-something club regular dancing by himself. It's the equivalent of getting your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.
But girls aren't F***ING Mickey Mouse.
By interesting contrast, of the women I've ACTUALLY hooked up with in the last two and a half years (more than six...less than ten, depending on your definition of what exactly counts as a "hook-up") I have photographic evidence of exactly TWO of them...one of whom is my rhymes-with-burlfriend (I know, I know. The "G" word to me is like "Lord Voldemort" to the citizens of the Harry Potter-verse. Merely the thought of it fills me with dread)
So in conclusion: Don't Pity the Hot Chicks...they know exactly what they're getting.
Don't Fear the Douchebag...fear leads to hate which leads to the Dark Side.
Do however check out the website. The pictures are pretty funny.
In the absence of a 'Hot Chicks with Comedians(*)' site, it will have to do.
(*) Unless this counts.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
It's pictures of guys (douchebags) with women (hot chicks)and accompanying text that is mostly tearing down the guy, talking about how hot the woman is, followed by the occasional bellyaching about "how come women like that end up with guys like him?" Sometimes he even fantasizes about riding in and rescuing these innocent women from the clutches of greasy douchebags everywhere.
It's funny stuff, but (deliberately or not) the guy seems to miss a couple points.
Point One - If there is one central tenet I've learned about romantic relationships, it's this: People find each other for a reason.
I'm not sure whether that's uplifting or chilling. But I do believe it's a fact (supplemented by the Dawn Dumont Corrollary: The two most damaged people in the bar will always find one another)
Part two will continue after these announcements from your sponsor...
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Welcome back.
Point Two - A woman in a picture with a guy is not necessarily WITH that guy in any meaningful sense of the word.
I know this for a fact because there are enough pictures of me with women on my camera and many others to start a 'Hot Chicks with Dan' website (with enough left over for a 'Passable Chicks With Dan' website, followed by a 'Great Personalitied Girls With Dan' website)
Why do these pictures exist? Because I go out dancing to clubs regularly to dance, and invariably women will want pictures of themselves with me.
I tell myself it's because they know I'm a comedy superstar (Cold Lake, tonight--here I come)or my status as Brilliant Writer/Voice of a Generation (and Monster Pro Wrestling, lest we forget).
But I think mostly because there's something fun about getting your picture taken with the eccentric, thirty-something club regular dancing by himself. It's the equivalent of getting your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.
But girls aren't F***ING Mickey Mouse.
By interesting contrast, of the women I've ACTUALLY hooked up with in the last two and a half years (more than six...less than ten, depending on your definition of what exactly counts as a "hook-up") I have photographic evidence of exactly TWO of them...one of whom is my rhymes-with-burlfriend (I know, I know. The "G" word to me is like "Lord Voldemort" to the citizens of the Harry Potter-verse. Merely the thought of it fills me with dread)
So in conclusion: Don't Pity the Hot Chicks...they know exactly what they're getting.
Don't Fear the Douchebag...fear leads to hate which leads to the Dark Side.
Do however check out the website. The pictures are pretty funny.
In the absence of a 'Hot Chicks with Comedians(*)' site, it will have to do.
(*) Unless this counts.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Power of Red Bull Compels Me
I am hooked on Red Bull.
It's weird because I'm not into coffee, excessive drinking, drugs, or cigarettes. I don't even like prescription medication and will avoid if at all possible.
But Red Bull is magic.
The first time I tried it, I didn't think much of it. It didn't make me any less tired, but it made it impossible for me to sleep.
That sucked.
Now though, Red Bull has become "Dan-Be-Happy-Juice." It puts me in a better mood.
There's a Buddhist precept about not misusing intoxicants. I've decided to get around it by a rather generous definition of the term "misuse."
I'm a bad Buddhist anyway.
But I'm a pretty good MC. Come to The Comic Strip next Monday and see for yourself.
Also there are a couple new posts up at the hotchicksandstrangers blog on everything from the economics of dating to communication skills and (of course) some sex stuff. Check em out and see what you think.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
It's weird because I'm not into coffee, excessive drinking, drugs, or cigarettes. I don't even like prescription medication and will avoid if at all possible.
But Red Bull is magic.
The first time I tried it, I didn't think much of it. It didn't make me any less tired, but it made it impossible for me to sleep.
That sucked.
Now though, Red Bull has become "Dan-Be-Happy-Juice." It puts me in a better mood.
There's a Buddhist precept about not misusing intoxicants. I've decided to get around it by a rather generous definition of the term "misuse."
I'm a bad Buddhist anyway.
But I'm a pretty good MC. Come to The Comic Strip next Monday and see for yourself.
Also there are a couple new posts up at the hotchicksandstrangers blog on everything from the economics of dating to communication skills and (of course) some sex stuff. Check em out and see what you think.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, September 19, 2008
New Living Article Up
Latest Living article (on my laser eye surgery) is up. You can find it here.
I was also interviewed by the wonderful and talented Misty Harris for an article on humour here.
Finally, I made a last minute appearance on Kamikaze Komedy with Lars and Matt Lisac two nights ago, so those of you with time machines might want to go have a listen.
Slowly but surely, I'm becoming more comfortable with media stuff, but it's an uphill battle.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I was also interviewed by the wonderful and talented Misty Harris for an article on humour here.
Finally, I made a last minute appearance on Kamikaze Komedy with Lars and Matt Lisac two nights ago, so those of you with time machines might want to go have a listen.
Slowly but surely, I'm becoming more comfortable with media stuff, but it's an uphill battle.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Comedy Thoughts
I read a cool magazine article the other day (it was either Rolling Stone, Psychology Today, or possibly a branch of the GQ/Esquire family)about comedy. One of the comedy writers they interviewed noted that comedy by nature is offensive, but the only people who are offended are people who have been personally affected by the particular issue.
In other words, people weren't offended by stuff that happened to other people. As a hypothetical example, if the guy wrote a sketch about--I don't know, a guy getting hit in a face with a pie--every one in the crowd would laugh but the one guy who saw his mother hit in the face with a pie and it scarred him for life wrote in going "I didn't think that was funny at all."
I think that's true, both in my experience as a comic and a human being. The Palin/Clinton sketch that I found so funny actually offended a surprising amount of people (including several of John McCain's campaign staff, apparently). When someone makes a joke at my expense, I tend not to be bothered unless it's something that hits too close to the bone, in which case I catch myself thinking "That's not funny."
Which is sometimes true, but often not. Sometimes the joke isn't funny. Other times it's hilarious, but I just don't have the perspective to see it at the time.
I find it interesting that the humo(u)r we find offensive says more about us than it does about the comedian.
Speaking of funny, here are my upcoming events including a HILARIOUS comedy show on the 29th.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
In other words, people weren't offended by stuff that happened to other people. As a hypothetical example, if the guy wrote a sketch about--I don't know, a guy getting hit in a face with a pie--every one in the crowd would laugh but the one guy who saw his mother hit in the face with a pie and it scarred him for life wrote in going "I didn't think that was funny at all."
I think that's true, both in my experience as a comic and a human being. The Palin/Clinton sketch that I found so funny actually offended a surprising amount of people (including several of John McCain's campaign staff, apparently). When someone makes a joke at my expense, I tend not to be bothered unless it's something that hits too close to the bone, in which case I catch myself thinking "That's not funny."
Which is sometimes true, but often not. Sometimes the joke isn't funny. Other times it's hilarious, but I just don't have the perspective to see it at the time.
I find it interesting that the humo(u)r we find offensive says more about us than it does about the comedian.
Speaking of funny, here are my upcoming events including a HILARIOUS comedy show on the 29th.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Monday, September 15, 2008
My New Favorite Link
My new favorite link. Hilarious.
What I love about it is that even though it's hilarious, it makes some pretty strong points.
That's what the best comedy should be like. I wish I had written this sketch.
Oh well. Gives me motivation, I guess.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
What I love about it is that even though it's hilarious, it makes some pretty strong points.
That's what the best comedy should be like. I wish I had written this sketch.
Oh well. Gives me motivation, I guess.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Forget Jerks...Chicks Dig Shoes
The Suicide awareness march went well. I was moved by the amount of people and their strength in willing to publicly face down an issue with a lot of stigma attached to it. I was also really inspired by the people at the agency where I work for all the effort and time they put into organizing the march.
Of course, it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't comment on at least one funny thing.
One of the things the agency did was take donations of shoes and then set them out on display as a reminder of the people we've lost through suicide. The shoes were donations not the shoes of actual people who killed themselves (I feel I need to make that clear or the humour might be lost).
As we were setting up the shoes before the event, at least three or four times I heard one of my female co-workers say: "Oooh, these are cute."
Usually followed by, "I wonder what size they are."
I said they should leave their shoes and take the ones they wanted.
For the record, we all left the event wearing the same shoes we started in, but it was a near thing in a couple cases.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Of course, it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't comment on at least one funny thing.
One of the things the agency did was take donations of shoes and then set them out on display as a reminder of the people we've lost through suicide. The shoes were donations not the shoes of actual people who killed themselves (I feel I need to make that clear or the humour might be lost).
As we were setting up the shoes before the event, at least three or four times I heard one of my female co-workers say: "Oooh, these are cute."
Usually followed by, "I wonder what size they are."
I said they should leave their shoes and take the ones they wanted.
For the record, we all left the event wearing the same shoes we started in, but it was a near thing in a couple cases.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Lifting the Silence The Seventh Annual Suicide Awareness March
A good cause. I'll be doing the march this year.
From The Support Network website:
Each year, approximately one million people die by suicide around the world. This means nearly one life is lost to suicide every 40 seconds. Suicide is a leading cause of death world-wide.
The Support Network invites you to join us in raising awareness for suicide prevention and in honouring lives lost to suicide.
Event Details:
The Suicide Awareness March begins at The Royal Glenora Club and continues on to the legislative grounds where we will gather at The Eternal Flame for a brief ceremony. We will then return to the Royal Glenora Club for a reception and lunch.
Meeting Place:
The Royal Glenora Club
11160 River Valley Rd - parking is available
Date:
Friday, Septmember 12, 2008
Time:
11:30 am March Commences
12:00 pm Ceremony at The Eternal Flame
12:30 Reception and Lunch at The Royal Glenora Club.
From The Support Network website:
Each year, approximately one million people die by suicide around the world. This means nearly one life is lost to suicide every 40 seconds. Suicide is a leading cause of death world-wide.
The Support Network invites you to join us in raising awareness for suicide prevention and in honouring lives lost to suicide.
Event Details:
The Suicide Awareness March begins at The Royal Glenora Club and continues on to the legislative grounds where we will gather at The Eternal Flame for a brief ceremony. We will then return to the Royal Glenora Club for a reception and lunch.
Meeting Place:
The Royal Glenora Club
11160 River Valley Rd - parking is available
Date:
Friday, Septmember 12, 2008
Time:
11:30 am March Commences
12:00 pm Ceremony at The Eternal Flame
12:30 Reception and Lunch at The Royal Glenora Club.
Friday, September 05, 2008
New Living Article Up
New Living Article is up here
I'm working on adapting my comedy act now that I'm not wearing glasses anymore. Since I have joked about having bad eyesight AND jokes about the surgery, I'm working with the idea of bringing my glasses onstage and using them as a way of transitioning. I have a few different ideas and I'm excited at seeing how it works out because it's something different and new from what I've done before.
In other news, I am trying to write a dating story from a woman's point of view for the 'Dating for Shy Guys' book. Right now I'm stuck...on what to call the woman. Shannon? Monica? Gertrude?
Sheesh. If I'm having this much trouble with the name, I can't wait for actually writing the section of the book.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I'm working on adapting my comedy act now that I'm not wearing glasses anymore. Since I have joked about having bad eyesight AND jokes about the surgery, I'm working with the idea of bringing my glasses onstage and using them as a way of transitioning. I have a few different ideas and I'm excited at seeing how it works out because it's something different and new from what I've done before.
In other news, I am trying to write a dating story from a woman's point of view for the 'Dating for Shy Guys' book. Right now I'm stuck...on what to call the woman. Shannon? Monica? Gertrude?
Sheesh. If I'm having this much trouble with the name, I can't wait for actually writing the section of the book.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Crowd Pleaser
People do interesting things. I've never been much for big crowds, but sometimes they're interesting to watch--especially when the words "Rider" and "Nation" are involved.
Today I went to the University bookstore before work. It wasn't open, but because it was the start of classes, there were mobs of students outside everyone of the three entrances waiting for the doors to open.
As soon as the doors opened, I couldn't help myself. I adopted my best zombie walk and staggered through the doors groaning: "Braaiins...braiins..."
The clerk that saw me laughed his ass off...well, chuckled anyway.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Today I went to the University bookstore before work. It wasn't open, but because it was the start of classes, there were mobs of students outside everyone of the three entrances waiting for the doors to open.
As soon as the doors opened, I couldn't help myself. I adopted my best zombie walk and staggered through the doors groaning: "Braaiins...braiins..."
The clerk that saw me laughed his ass off...well, chuckled anyway.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Honesty? Radical!
I just finished reading a book by Brad Blanton called 'Radical Honesty.' His thesis is you are supposed to tell the truth to everybody all of the time. No hiding anything. No white lies.
I was just wondering how following this would affect my life (not to mention this week's Zombie Project on Right Speech). I was also wondering how this commitment to the unvarnished truth would work in an intimate relationship.
That's when I looked at the 'About The Author' notes at the back.
The author has been married FOUR times.
The puzzle pieces click into place.
Living Article coming out on Friday. Hope people like it.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I was just wondering how following this would affect my life (not to mention this week's Zombie Project on Right Speech). I was also wondering how this commitment to the unvarnished truth would work in an intimate relationship.
That's when I looked at the 'About The Author' notes at the back.
The author has been married FOUR times.
The puzzle pieces click into place.
Living Article coming out on Friday. Hope people like it.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, August 29, 2008
I Can Lead A Nation With A Microphone
I am driving my co-workers crazy playing Handlebars by the Flo-Bots, over and over again.
It isn't just the tune...although I really like that quite a bit. A lot of the song's appeal is that I relate to its message.
Sort of.
The song is overtly political, and asides from watching the U.S. Presidential race, I'm not a political guy.
But to me, the song isn't so much about politics is it is about the desire for MORE.
When I hear the words I think of someone who isn't happy with what they have, who thinks they'll be satisfied once they get the next thing...and of course they never are.
Certainly, I see it a lot in the entertainment business. I feel that way too. I would love to have my words read or heard influence a lot of people's lives, to "lead a nation with a microphone."
When you start in comedy, all you want is a spot on a show. Then you start looking for paid spots. Then you aren't happy unless you're MCing or headlining or on TV or...
It never stops.
Of course, this isn't exclusive to comedy. Some of us seem to be born with that gene, that drive to achieve--in life, relationships, careers--that strand in our DNA that keeps crying out (as my favorite line in the song goes): "Look at me/Look at ME!"
It's okay to want those things. It's okay to be ambitious, to have dreams, and pursue them. But it's equally important to appreciate what you have.
Wanting stuff is okay. Needing stuff to be complete is another matter entirely.
In the meantime, I'm happy to be on the show.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some co-workers to drive crazy.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
It isn't just the tune...although I really like that quite a bit. A lot of the song's appeal is that I relate to its message.
Sort of.
The song is overtly political, and asides from watching the U.S. Presidential race, I'm not a political guy.
But to me, the song isn't so much about politics is it is about the desire for MORE.
When I hear the words I think of someone who isn't happy with what they have, who thinks they'll be satisfied once they get the next thing...and of course they never are.
Certainly, I see it a lot in the entertainment business. I feel that way too. I would love to have my words read or heard influence a lot of people's lives, to "lead a nation with a microphone."
When you start in comedy, all you want is a spot on a show. Then you start looking for paid spots. Then you aren't happy unless you're MCing or headlining or on TV or...
It never stops.
Of course, this isn't exclusive to comedy. Some of us seem to be born with that gene, that drive to achieve--in life, relationships, careers--that strand in our DNA that keeps crying out (as my favorite line in the song goes): "Look at me/Look at ME!"
It's okay to want those things. It's okay to be ambitious, to have dreams, and pursue them. But it's equally important to appreciate what you have.
Wanting stuff is okay. Needing stuff to be complete is another matter entirely.
In the meantime, I'm happy to be on the show.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some co-workers to drive crazy.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Zombie Rises
As promised, the first Zombie Diaries entry is up.
This looks fun.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
This looks fun.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, August 22, 2008
New Living Article and Introducing Project: Zombie
Latest Living Article is up here.
It's on my new tattoo, which means I can finally stop hiding it in photo shoots. Continuity rules.
I'm also starting a new self-development project.
I'm going to become a zombie.
Okay, not really.
But what I am doing is reading the book the Zen of Zombie by Steve , and I'm going to apply some of it to my life for the next few weeks and see what happens.
Since it deals at least somewhat with my shyness, I figured it would be most appropriate to deal with it on the Hot Chicks & Strangers blog which actually deals with shyness as opposed to here which is supposed to mostly be self-promotion.
The first entry should be up tomorrow.
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
It's on my new tattoo, which means I can finally stop hiding it in photo shoots. Continuity rules.
I'm also starting a new self-development project.
I'm going to become a zombie.
Okay, not really.
But what I am doing is reading the book the Zen of Zombie by Steve , and I'm going to apply some of it to my life for the next few weeks and see what happens.
Since it deals at least somewhat with my shyness, I figured it would be most appropriate to deal with it on the Hot Chicks & Strangers blog which actually deals with shyness as opposed to here which is supposed to mostly be self-promotion.
The first entry should be up tomorrow.
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Dan Kisses A Heckler. Neither of them Turns Into a Handsome Prince
I guess this is my week for stories about women.
The story I REALLY want to tell happened this week involving the Seether concert and a lot of booze needs to be 'aged' so I can tell it without damaging any personal or professional reputations.
So you'll have to settle for the one below, plus another tale from my sordid past on my shyness blog. Neither of them make me look like a very good person, but I stopped worrying about how other people saw me a long time ago (and by a long time ago, I mean "April.")
Let's do the self-promotional stuff first:
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 22
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Moving on...
I don't understand hecklers. Generally, the type of person who would disrupt other people's entertainment because they need attention all of the time is not the kind of person I want to hang out with. In fact, I think they're kind of pathetic.
At a recent show, I had to deal with a woman in the front row. I didn't get a good glimpse of her face because a) she was wearing a low-cut top and b) because her behaviour during the show was so obnoxious that looking at her pissed me off.
Most of her comments were the worst kind of heckles because it wasn't so much "heckling" as it was "spitting out random sentence fragments that would make no sense in a regular conversation, much less a show."
This is the only exchange I remember because it was the closest she came to something resembling a coherent idea.
WOMAN: You're quiet and shy.
ME: I wish I could say the same about you.
I settled in to a rhythm of completely ignoring her, and the show ended up going quite well. I can tell how well a show went by the amount of people who come up afterwards to talk to me. This one was a gooder.
Anyway, I ended up going to the pub next door with a few other comics and a couple women who came to the show, one of whom was a cutie in a low cut top (You can probably guess where this is heading). One thing led to another--and by one thing I mean her pressing her leg to mine when we talked and by "another" I mean her pressing warmly against me and touching her lips to my ear when she murmured into it.
At this point I decided it was time to go for what we in the business refer to as "The Pull." Unfortunately, there were two obstacles.
a) her friend
b) We're in a freaking mall--a closed mall--and neither of us are driving anywhere.
I dealt with a) by just being honest. "I want to go for a walk with your friend. Will you be okay hanging here with these guys?"
Honesty is good. I highly recommend it. I actually got an email from her the next day thanking me for including her. As far as being a good person goes, it was one of my better moments.
Followed shortly by one of my not-so-good moments.
Me and low-cut shirt woman went for a walk in the mall. All the stores were closed, the security guards were out, and there was no place even remotely private.
So I took her to the whale.
A particular feature of this particular mall is a statue of a whale (duh) in the middle of the mall. There is a bench inside the whale's mouth.
And that is where I ended up kissing the softest lips I have ever tasted. They were truly remarkable. I have never kissed lips like it before or since.
On the way back to the pub, holding hands, she told me, "I loved you onstage. You were so quiet and shy."
And there--finally--the penny dropped.
HOLY S**T! I JUST KISSED A HECKLER! I'm HOLDING HANDS with her!
Worlds Collide.
One world is: she seems cool and she's a great kisser and I really like the way she looks at me. The other world is: She was super-obnoxious during the show, and those types never turn out to be good people.
So who was this woman? Which world did she belong to? A world of fun and awesome-kissing. Or Planet A**hole.
I found out a few days later.
But that's a story for another time.
The story I REALLY want to tell happened this week involving the Seether concert and a lot of booze needs to be 'aged' so I can tell it without damaging any personal or professional reputations.
So you'll have to settle for the one below, plus another tale from my sordid past on my shyness blog. Neither of them make me look like a very good person, but I stopped worrying about how other people saw me a long time ago (and by a long time ago, I mean "April.")
Let's do the self-promotional stuff first:
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 22
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Moving on...
I don't understand hecklers. Generally, the type of person who would disrupt other people's entertainment because they need attention all of the time is not the kind of person I want to hang out with. In fact, I think they're kind of pathetic.
At a recent show, I had to deal with a woman in the front row. I didn't get a good glimpse of her face because a) she was wearing a low-cut top and b) because her behaviour during the show was so obnoxious that looking at her pissed me off.
Most of her comments were the worst kind of heckles because it wasn't so much "heckling" as it was "spitting out random sentence fragments that would make no sense in a regular conversation, much less a show."
This is the only exchange I remember because it was the closest she came to something resembling a coherent idea.
WOMAN: You're quiet and shy.
ME: I wish I could say the same about you.
I settled in to a rhythm of completely ignoring her, and the show ended up going quite well. I can tell how well a show went by the amount of people who come up afterwards to talk to me. This one was a gooder.
Anyway, I ended up going to the pub next door with a few other comics and a couple women who came to the show, one of whom was a cutie in a low cut top (You can probably guess where this is heading). One thing led to another--and by one thing I mean her pressing her leg to mine when we talked and by "another" I mean her pressing warmly against me and touching her lips to my ear when she murmured into it.
At this point I decided it was time to go for what we in the business refer to as "The Pull." Unfortunately, there were two obstacles.
a) her friend
b) We're in a freaking mall--a closed mall--and neither of us are driving anywhere.
I dealt with a) by just being honest. "I want to go for a walk with your friend. Will you be okay hanging here with these guys?"
Honesty is good. I highly recommend it. I actually got an email from her the next day thanking me for including her. As far as being a good person goes, it was one of my better moments.
Followed shortly by one of my not-so-good moments.
Me and low-cut shirt woman went for a walk in the mall. All the stores were closed, the security guards were out, and there was no place even remotely private.
So I took her to the whale.
A particular feature of this particular mall is a statue of a whale (duh) in the middle of the mall. There is a bench inside the whale's mouth.
And that is where I ended up kissing the softest lips I have ever tasted. They were truly remarkable. I have never kissed lips like it before or since.
On the way back to the pub, holding hands, she told me, "I loved you onstage. You were so quiet and shy."
And there--finally--the penny dropped.
HOLY S**T! I JUST KISSED A HECKLER! I'm HOLDING HANDS with her!
Worlds Collide.
One world is: she seems cool and she's a great kisser and I really like the way she looks at me. The other world is: She was super-obnoxious during the show, and those types never turn out to be good people.
So who was this woman? Which world did she belong to? A world of fun and awesome-kissing. Or Planet A**hole.
I found out a few days later.
But that's a story for another time.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Word of Mouth Is Killing Them
Lars Callieou, Kelly Soloduka, Andrew Iwanyk, and Sean Lecomber have put together a Fringe show. All four of them are guys I really enjoy watching, so I encourage everyone to go check them out.
Here's the info.
Word of Mouth is Killing Us
Running Time: 1 hour & 30 minutes
Despite resounding indifference the comedians of Stand Up Stand Outs (2007) are back in 2008. Word of Mouth is Killing Us will prove once again that stand up comedy is an unwelcome addition to any Fringe Festival. Expecting audience members who "couldn't get tickets to anything else", Lars, Kelly, Sean & Andrew look forward to hearing 'the sound of no hands clapping'. Don't tell your friends! Word of Mouth is Killing Us.
Online tickets:
http://tickets.fringetheatre.ca/dateselect.aspx?item=357&venue=8
Show times:
Friday August 15 - 6:30 pm
Sunday August 17 - 4:30 pm
Tuesday August 19 - 8:45 pm
Wednesday August 20 - 6:45 pm
Thursday August 21 - 11:00 pm
Saturday August 23 - 8:45 pm
Acacia Masonic Hall
Located at 10433-83 Ave
http://maps.google.com/maps?geocode=&q=10433-83+Ave.(Acacia+Hall)+++
Here's the info.
Word of Mouth is Killing Us
Running Time: 1 hour & 30 minutes
Despite resounding indifference the comedians of Stand Up Stand Outs (2007) are back in 2008. Word of Mouth is Killing Us will prove once again that stand up comedy is an unwelcome addition to any Fringe Festival. Expecting audience members who "couldn't get tickets to anything else", Lars, Kelly, Sean & Andrew look forward to hearing 'the sound of no hands clapping'. Don't tell your friends! Word of Mouth is Killing Us.
Online tickets:
http://tickets.fringetheatre.ca/dateselect.aspx?item=357&venue=8
Show times:
Friday August 15 - 6:30 pm
Sunday August 17 - 4:30 pm
Tuesday August 19 - 8:45 pm
Wednesday August 20 - 6:45 pm
Thursday August 21 - 11:00 pm
Saturday August 23 - 8:45 pm
Acacia Masonic Hall
Located at 10433-83 Ave
http://maps.google.com/maps?geocode=&q=10433-83+Ave.(Acacia+Hall)+++
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Life and Everything.
I won the board game, Game of Life last week.
Which meant I finally got to tell someone, "You suck at life."
Which meant I finally got to tell someone, "You suck at life."
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I Don't Get It
This is the it, I'm talking about.
Okay, I understand the boots with the fur. But how do you wear both Apple Bottom Jeans and baggy sweatpants at the same time?
For that matter what kind of club would let you in wearing baggy sweatpants?
Then again, I'm pretty ignorant with this stuff. I didn't even know what 'shawty' meant, let alone the 'superman' in "superman that ho."
Urban Dictionary, you've changed my life.
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 22
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Okay, I understand the boots with the fur. But how do you wear both Apple Bottom Jeans and baggy sweatpants at the same time?
For that matter what kind of club would let you in wearing baggy sweatpants?
Then again, I'm pretty ignorant with this stuff. I didn't even know what 'shawty' meant, let alone the 'superman' in "superman that ho."
Urban Dictionary, you've changed my life.
Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 22
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Bad Joke Pandemic
Driving down Jasper last night, we passed a couple of women lugging suitcases behind them.
Captain Hammer (The artist formerly known as PrettyBoy) took one look at them and said: "Wow, those chicks have some serious baggage!"
I laughed myself sick.
Run for your lives, everyone. My terrible jokes have become contagious.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Captain Hammer (The artist formerly known as PrettyBoy) took one look at them and said: "Wow, those chicks have some serious baggage!"
I laughed myself sick.
Run for your lives, everyone. My terrible jokes have become contagious.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Bar News
DAN: What do you do?
GUY AT THE BAR: I'm an enterpreneur.
DAN: (joking) Like a drug dealer?
GUY: (not joking) Sometimes. I do other stuff too.
Oops.
The guy went on to tell me about the coming apocalypse and how big brother is watching us and we will all have chips implanted in us to track our movements. Also, the New Slavery is coming.
Some people lead rich lives.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
GUY AT THE BAR: I'm an enterpreneur.
DAN: (joking) Like a drug dealer?
GUY: (not joking) Sometimes. I do other stuff too.
Oops.
The guy went on to tell me about the coming apocalypse and how big brother is watching us and we will all have chips implanted in us to track our movements. Also, the New Slavery is coming.
Some people lead rich lives.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Important Announcement for Regular Readers
Sisyphus finally got his rock up the hill. The story is something that would only happen to him.
PS - Latest Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
PS - Latest Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)