Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Solution


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 4 - The Hydeaway, Edmonton
Wednesday, May 12 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton

Other Appearances

Wrestling
Saturday, May 29- OSCW - Hazeldean Community Hall, Edmonton

Meditation Instruction (all at at 10:00 am at the Strathcona Public Library 8331 - 104 Street Edmonton)

Saturday, April 24
Saturday, May 8


Monday I volunteered for a research study at the University. I consider it a non-scientist's contribution to advancing the frontiers of knowledge.

The technician swabbed my chest with alcohol and went to apply the sensors to my chest, but to no avail.

DAN: Everything okay?
TECHNICIAN: It will be fine. The solution is to apply more alcohol.
DAN: I've tried that one a few times. I've had mixed results, myself.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Updates and Referee Pics




Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, May 12 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Tuesday, May 4 - The Hydeaway, Edmonton

Other Appearances

Wrestling
Saturday, May 29- OSCW - Hazeldean Community Hall, Edmonton

Meditation Instruction (all at at 10:00 am at the Strathcona Public Library 8331 - 104 Street Edmonton)

Saturday, April 24
Saturday, May 8

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Referee Update

I made my referee debut last night for Edmonton's Old School Championship Wrestling.

I refereed the dark match (or as I prefer to call it, the "Reverse Main Event") between Red Money and Scott Steel, a match between Memphis Raines and the Arabian Executioner (which due to the promoter's handwriting looked like "The Ambien Executioner"--a great gimmick just waiting to be used, I think), and Big Daddy Kash vs. The Cremator.

Memphis Raines provided the best description of the referee's psychology I've heard--"The pro wrestling referee is the Last Man in the World who still believes wrestling is real."

It was a dream come true. In fact, the promoter had to pull me aside after the first match to tell me "don't smile so much."

ME: I can't help it. I'm having fun.

Next OSCW show is Saturday, May 29.

Let the Cremator beware. There's a new Sheriff in town.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

"Women Want Lying, Self-Obsessed Psychopaths"


Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, April 21 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Tuesday, May 4 - The Hydeaway, Edmonton

Other Appearances

Wrestling
Saturday, April 17 - OSCW - Hazeldean Community Hall, Edmonton

Meditation Instruction (all at at 10:00 am at the Strathcona Public Library 8331 - 104 Street Edmonton)

Saturday, April 24
Saturday, May 8


Making my debut as a pro wrestling referee tonight. I am excited beyond words to uphold the time-honored and proud tradition of objective, competent officials in professional wrestling as well as being treated with the respect and dignity that comes with my station.

In other news, I laughed out loud at this paragraph on Susan Walsh's Hooking Up Smart blog:

"Peter Jonason of New Mexico university conducted a study of 200 male college students to determine why narcissists, risk-seekers and liars have not been made extinct due to their undesirable traits. Of course, what he found is that women want self-obsessed, lying psychopaths."


Did he use those exact words? Because I would have loved to be see THAT Power Point presentation.

Slide 1 - Picture of Freud.

Peter Jonason: "Freud asked: 'What do Women Want? Here at New Mexico university, we've found the answer.

Slide 2 - Jonason clicks several times, each click bringing a famous serial killer onscreen , before bringing the presentation title swooshes into the middle of the frame (One word at a time, accompanied by 'tire-screeching sound effect)

Jonason: (reading the title with great triumph) Women Want Lying, Self-Obsessed Psychopahs.

Awkward silence

Peer #1: Pete, just out of curiosity, did you practice this presentation in front of your wife?
Peer #2: Is that really how you spell 'self-obsessed?' I always thought it was two 'double-s's.
Peer #3: Wow. Nice Font.

Friday, April 09, 2010

The Gateway Boyfriend (Dating for Shy Guys Update)

Well, I've taken the first step.

So far, it's just a blog. But I'm hoping it will make a difference.

It's called the Gateway Boyfriend. It's about dating and relationships. I've learned quite a bit on the subject over the last few years.

I don't pretend to know everything. But I do feel it's time to try and give something back.

Especially since I've read a lot of what's out there for advice, and while there's plenty of great stuff, I think there's a lot of writing out there throwing judgements or blame around, promoting a Sexual Cold War mindset, suggesting people are 'missing' some magic ingredient that is keeping them from finding whatever it is they are looking for, and I don't think that's particularly helpful.

You can find the blog here. So far, if people only read one post, I'd prefer it be this one.

The Dating for Shy Guys ebook will eventually be made available through it, and I'm eventually hoping to offer short term phone support, schedule and long distance plan permitting.

I would like to say I'm doing this for unselfish reasons and giving back and blah blah blah, but the truth is, I'm hoping that by focusing on giving to others, the Universe will see fit to reward me with True Love, Inner Contentment, and Serenity.

Unless that is too much to ask from the Universe, in which case I will reluctantly settle for sex, fame and money.

I would like to run the site and provide the services on a donations basis, but a lot of it will depend on how much setting everything up costs not to mention all that business stuff I know nothing about...just thinking about it makes me cringe, so it will probably be a Great Learning Experience and Excercise in Building Character.

The new blog will take up some writing time which means less blog updates on THIS site for the time being. And I'm not linking the new blog to my Facebook page, since it's not so much about self-promotion as it is about helping people. If you're intersted in such things, go to the page. If you aren't, I see no reason to clutter up your notifications page.

If you want to help, check out the blog and make comments or ask dating/relationship related questions. And if you know people who are having dating/relationship/sex issues, send them my way with their questions. The more I can get a grasp of where people are at and what they're looking for, the more helpful the site will be.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Buddha Shakin' and updates

Apologies for the lack of updates. Most of my writing time is chewed up by new projects I'm working on (a novel, and stuff for the hopefully upcoming Dating for Shy Guys website)

For those wondering what California was like, it was a lot like the Manitoba tour in that so much happened every day, it was hard to keep up with. It's a strange quirk of my personality that often the most interesting, meaningful and adventurous things that happen to me are the ones I DON'T write or talk about, but there you go. I know what happened, and the fact that it did is good enough for me.

I will say this about a Buddhist monastery. Some say the Catholics have think complicated services with all their stand up/sit down/shake hands/give money/stand in line and eat bread, but the Buddhists have them beat. There's standing up and sitting down. There are also bows, bells, and enough hand signals to confuse a third base coach.

One of things this particular tradition believes in is something called Working Meditation--which was cool. I did many things I wouldn't normally get a chance to do, working in an eco-friendly kitchen, hauling fallen trees and piling firewood, learning how to cook in a second monastery that had no hot water, starting fire in a wood burning stove, and others.

Oddly enough, the place I found most stressful was the kitchen even though most of the jobs I was given there were among the easiest ones I had to do.

As always, I blame Dan's Brain:

DAN'S BRAIN: I can't believe they gave me a job this easy. They must think I suck at everything. Everyone else has got a cool job and I'm stuck on cracker-arranging detail. And why did they give me such detailed instructions? They must really think I'm useless. Oh crap...one of the crackers is broken. Where do I put it? They won't let me waste food, but this is also supposed to look good. AUUGH! They gave me this super-easy job and I can't even do that right. Novice monks can do this job. I'm a comedian/writer/pro-wrestling announcer/salsa dancer and may very well have had more sex in the last four years than everybody else in this kitchen combined and yet when it comes to putting Vegetable Thins--a rather optimistic name for a cracker, by the bye, since these things are neither vegetable nor slimming--on a sheet of orange tupperware I can't even measure up to a second string candle-jockey. I SUCK at Buddhism!

My brain is an unusual place.


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, April 8 - Yuk Yuks, Edmonton
Wednesday, April 21 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Tuesday, May 4 - The Hydeaway, Edmonton

Other Appearances

Wrestling
Saturday, April 17 - OSCW - Hazeldean Community Hall, Edmonton

Meditation Instruction (all at at 10:00 am at the Strathcona Public Library 8331 - 104 Street Edmonton)

Saturday April 10
Saturday, April 24
Saturday, May 8