Friday, July 29, 2005

Update

Upcoming Comedy
Friday, September 2 - Yuk Yuks
Saturday, September 3 - Yuk Yuks

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Saturday in the ed section of the Edmonton Journal.

-Not much to report this week, at least nothing that would interest anyone. Behind the scenes, I'm busy as ever, but writing and rehearsing is never as fun to read about as all the excitment of the finished product.

-I met DEREK EDWARDS last night. He's one of the top comics in Canada, and he had some nice things to say about my work. He doesn't seem to get a lot of publicity, but he's at Yuk Yuks all weekend so be sure to go see him. You know how sometimes the movies say, "If you see just one movie this year..?" Well if you see just one live comedy show this year, go watch Derek. WINSTON HERBERT, another funny guy, who's been doing some music with KERRY UNGER is hosting and TODD K (www.toddk.ca for some of the most addictive games on the net) and STEVE MCCARTHY are also on the bill.

-The last few weeks at Blue Chicago (hosted by KATHLEEN MCGEE--but you knew that already) have been a lot of fun, not just for the shows, but for hanging out with other comics. A couple weeks ago MAX MAULT had us in hysterics with his inability to distinguish between a rye and Coke and a rum and Coke despite his wild assertions to the contrary("I'm a BARTENDER! I'm a professional! I CAN tell the difference!) and last week I had a great time just chillin' with Kathleen, ANDREW IWANYK, and TRAVIS ROBINSON after the show. Good times.

-July headLINES should be up next week.

Monday, July 25, 2005

UPCOMING GIGS
Thursday, July 28 - Yuk Yuks
Friday, September 2 - Yuk Yuks
Saturday, September 3 -Yuk Yuks

Writing
-Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Saturday in the Edmonton Journal's ed magazine.
-Dan Brodribb's short story 'Glass Houses' can be found in the anthology 'Cold Flesh' available through Hellbound books at www.hellboundbooks.com

-I got a nice feature in the Journal on Friday about my dad's suit. The funny thing is, I didn't know it was running that day, so I nearly missed it. I was really happy with the picture. The photo shoot was a lot of fun, and the photographer (I remember her name as Candice, but I've been wrong before) did a great job as did my 'director' Caroline.

-I finally got my copy of Cold Flesh. It looks great, and if you're a fan of the zombie literature, you can pick it up through www.hellboundbooks.com

-Good luck to everyone who went out to audition for that Jesse James movie whose title I can't remember. I heard there was a line of people stretching all around the hotel where they were auditioning, so just making it inside the building is an accomplishment.

-Finally, I'm waiting on an article about CHRISTINA SCHMOLKE to see print. She's a fantastic singer/songwriter and she'll be the house musician at THE MELTING POT restaraunt once September rolls around. She's just finishing up a new demo, so see her now for free while you have the chance. She's got the talent to go very far.

-Those of you with strong stomachs might want to check out the SUSPENSION BARBECUE on August 13. Suspension is where they take a willing participant (in this case, my good friend DJ DERVISH) and hang him from hooks. Don't try this at home kids. Anyway, tickets are 20 bucks and it starts at 6 pm at 20910-7th avenue.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Update (need a better title)

Upcoming Comedy Dates
Sunday, July 17 - The Comic Strip (5 min)
Monday, July 18 - Blue Chicago
Sunday, July 24 - The Comic Strip (5 min)
Monday, July 24 - Blue Chicago
Thursday, July 28 - Yuk Yuks (10 min)

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Saturday in the Edmonton Journal's ed magazine supplement

-One of my columns might be getting a feature position in the Journal. I'm looking forward to that. Ultimately, I'd like to be writing humor columns on a weekly basis, but we'll have to see. My schedule is getting pretty tight.

-I did a little acting in a video shoot for the United Way last week. It was great getting back in front of the camera again. Time to start clearing a shelf for my Academy Award. The United Way is a great organization and they do a lot for the community, so if you can find time or money to donate, it all goes back into helping various community organizations, so ultimately it's coming back to all of us.

-I got a note from the Walt Hicks at Hellbound Books (www.hellboundbooks.com). My contributor's copy of 'Cold Flesh' is in the mail, which of course includes my short story 'Glass Houses.' I can't wait to read some of the other stories in it. Go to the website to find out how you can get your own copy. If you bring it to a show, I'd even be happy to sign it--you never know--it might be worth something someday.

-I'm really enjoying working on comedy at BLUE CHICAGO every Monday. They have great fries and steaks, and it's a great room to work on new things in and watch other comics do new things. If you're the kind of person who doesn't mind expecting the unexpected, or if you've ever wanted to try comedy yourself, why not give it a try? KATHLEEN MCGEE hosts, and she loves seeing new blood on stage (not literally). We're a pretty supportive group, so if you want to come down and see if you have what it takes, you're always welcome.

-I did a show in Fairview last Thursday with TYLER HAWKINS, a very funny comedian. We spent the whole drive talking about 80s metal, 80s TV shows, and dinosaurs. Good times.

Monday, July 11, 2005

June headLINES

Ta Daa!

Wednesday, June 1 - Ex-American Idol contestant Corey Clark is upset at an SNL skit spoofing his alleged affair with judge Paula Abdul. He doesn't think people are respecting his accomplishments. What accomplishment? Most people have 'losing a talent show' on their resume by sixth grade.

Thursday, June 2 - Women are reporting that birth control pills are lowering their sex drive. At least that's the excuse they're using when they don't want to say anything bad about their husband's new moustache.

Friday, June 3 - Meanwhile, men are reporting that Viagra is causing blindness among some users. At least that's the excuse they're using when their wife finds them in bed with the woman next door.

COMMENTARY: There were no headlines for June 4-12. I got squeezed out due to lack of space.

Saturday, June 11 - Bad news for Esks fans as Ricky Ray will be sidelined for a game with a knee injury, meaning the team is down to just 1 604 quarterbacks.

Sunday, June 12 - Russell Crowe signs an endorsement deal with a famous phone company. They're even bringing back their old slogan: "Reach out and Touch Someone."

Monday, June 13 - The EPS chief has vowed a crackdown after a racist e-mail containing "10 Ways to deal with natives" circulated through the department. Normally I'd recommend police to leave the top-10 lists to ed and concentrate on doing what they do best, but I want to be able to drink at Overtime in peace.

COMMENTARY: If you’re a police officer reading this…sorry. I recognize it’s a tough job, but you guys have been making yourselves easy targets lately. Still, I should probably stop doing the same.

Tuesday, June 14 - Since every other article in this issue is about the Edmonton Eskimos, can I write ONE NBA joke? Just one? You see, there's this thing going being decided in basketball right now called a "championship..." Sigh. Why do I even bother?

Wednesday, June 15 - Apparently U.S President George W. Bush had better
marks in college than the Democratic challenger John Kerry. That was close--the last thing the U.S. needs is a stupid president.

Thursday, June 16 - In Detroit, during the NBA finals a fan throws a half-full cup of beer at San Antonio Spurs' guard, Tony Parker who hails from France. Parker immediately surrenders.

Friday, June 17 - My native friend's message to the police re: the
infamous top 10 list: "E-mail jokes to each other all you want, just stop SHOOTING me already."

Saturday, June 18 - Flooding is the latest natural disaster to hit Alberta, leaving most of Calgary submerged. The Calgary Stampede will go ahead as planned, although this is the first year participants and horses in the chuckwagon races have had to be equipped with snorkels.

Sunday, June 19 - NBA officials deny that their referees are either incompetent or out-and-out biased in favor of the home team. To ensure that game five in Detroit is called squarely down the middle, they've even appointed a special guest referee--Kid Rock.

Monday, June 20 - How come Edmonton Pride week is ten days long? I don't mind our mayor signing off on gay pride, but a ten-day week? This metric system is getting way out of hand.

Tuesday, June 21 - I don't want to say NBA referees are bad, but the guy working game 6 of the finals is the only ref ever kicked off of Wrestlemania for incompetence. NBA Commisioner David Stern counters allegations of referee corruption, pointing out, "If the playoffs were fixed, do you think we'd be watching a Spurs-Pistons finals?"

Wednesday, June 22 - Between the forest fires, floods, and droughts that have plagued this province over the past few years, I'm beginning to think Mother Nature is trying to tell us something. If a volcano erupts and buries Spruce Grove under a sea of molten lava, I'm moving.

Thursday, June 23 - According to a new study, exposure to sunlight helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer. But how do you tan where the sun don't shine?

Friday, June 24 - I think the show Celebrity Boxing would be a lot better if they only had one celebrity...against one real boxer. I'd like to see Sergio 'The Latin Snake' Mora take on Bob Saget. That would be a funny home video.

COMMENTARY: This is a variation of a throwaway line I came up with in Fairview. KERRY UNGER told me it would make a good joke. I tried this one live, and he was right…but that’s why he’s Kerry Unger.

This week, in honour of Canada Day, we take a look back at some great headLINES moments from Canadian history.

Saturday, June 25 - (1001 AD) Vikings arrive on the coast of Nefoundland. They are unable to find work, and immediately move to Fort McMurray.

Sunday, June 26 - (1836) Aspiring lawyer and politician Sir John A. MacDonald is admitted to the bar of Upper Canada. It takes the bartender, two waitresses, and six bouncers to get him out again.

Monday, June 27 - (September 9, 1972) Maybe the reason the Canadian hockey team has played so poorly at home against the USSR is the dollar bill we buried under the ice is getting all soggy. Next time, maybe we should try a coin or something.

Tuesday, June 28 - (July 14, 1985) Boy, that Live Aid show was one for the ages. I wonder if they'll ever do something like that again only with Canadian acts.

Wednesday, June 29 - (December 13, 1985) Platinum Blonde is the raddest band ever. In thirty years, we'll still be talking about 'Alien Shores.' It's 'The White Album' of our generation.

Thursday, June 30 - (January 31, 2003) Say what you will about the EPS, they're way tougher than the Collier County Deputies that arrested Alex Lifeson on New Year's. Six officers with tasers and truncheons to take down the lead guitarist for Rush? That's not a story I'd be telling back at the station.