Dan's Underground Comedy Tour Comes Above-Ground

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Longtime readers might remember Dan's Underground Comedy Tour where I told jokes in the LRT station.

Just for fun, I decided to revisit the experiment, telling jokes in public.

It was not like riding a bike. It was tough to do again. I may have to make it a semi-regular part of my practice (yes, comedians DO practice--at least, I do) because I find I get so much out of it.

I did notice people were more inclined to stop and watch this time. Maybe it was the location; maybe it was the fact some of them were lower traffic areas and people are more likely to stop when there isn't a big crowd (If you took social psychology in university, you'll know why).

But I also think some of it is me. My stage presence has improved that people are more inclined to stop and pay attention. Heck, that's what stage presence is--being compelling enought that people want to watch you without changing the channel.

I'm not saying I have the greatest stage presence in the world.

But I'm making progress.

To me that's the thing that counts the most.

The Wisdom of Jim Cornette

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

(I was originally going to post this exclusively on the hotchicksandstrangers blog, but it occurred to me that this applies to more than just romantic partners. It also applies to stand-up comedy, sales, personal lives, or pretty much any aspect of dealing with other human beings)

This is going to sound weird, but a lot of what I learned about romance (and stand-up comedy for that matter) came from learning about the psychology of pro-wrestling. While a lot of what I picked up came from picking the brains of experienced wrestlers, I got some stuff off some DVDs. My favorites are Behind Closed Doors with Jake Roberts and Secrets of the Ring with Jim Cornette.

Both DVDs are awesome, but today I want to paraphrase something Cornette said. He was talking about wrestling fans, but I think it applies equally well to potential romantic partners (or--as stated above--pretty much anything else--db).

Picture your pool of potential partners as one of those circular targets used for archery or darts. Each ring represents a group of people

· The smallest, inner-most ring is the people who are going to like you no matter what you do. For whatever reason, they will dig you no matter what.

· The second ring, is a slightly larger group. They’re the people who are going to like you when you’re at your best. They’ll show up as long as you meet their standards, but if you mess up, they’re gone.

· An even larger group is in the third ring. They are people who will like you if you’re “somebody.” They‘ll like your rich or famous or because other people like you.

· The fourth and final group, is everyone else in the world. They either don’t like you, don’t give a shit about you one way or the other, or have no idea who you are and never will.

Here’s what struck me about Cornette‘s Circle.

1 - You have no control over which circle someone falls into. Some people will like you no matter what. Some people will like you if you’re good. Some people will like you if you’re lucky enough to hit the big time. And some people are going to dislike you no matter what, and there’s no way you can change their mind.

But it’s not in your power to ‘assign’ people into a circle. All you can do is make the choices that feel right to you, shoot for your potential and people will either come along or they won’t.

2 - You can’t tell by looking which people fall into which category. A lot of people I know just assume people won’t like them and don’t even make the effort to get to know them (And on a personal level, this used to be one of my biggest problems…and it still is sometimes).

Once I started looking at things in this way, it took a lot of stress off me. It also gave me the freedom to stop trying to impress people and instead focusing on expressing myself and trusting that the people who are into my romantic type (or comedy audience, or whatever) would find me.

Mental Health Awareness Week

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

It's Mental Health Awareness Week.

Saw a cool show at the University this afternoon. David Granirer from Stand Up For Mental Health was in town to do a show. In addition to doing comedy and working as a counsellor, he also teaches stand-up to people with mental illnesses in Vancouver.

He showed clips of his students and they were quite technically sound as comedians.

Needless to say I found this fascinating. After all, I like teaching, I REALLY like comedy, and I have some interest in the mental health field from my experience volunteering on the Distress Line (Here's the link if you're interested in Distress Line volunteering in Edmonton).

Apparently Dave's students also are in demand to do shows all over the place, which is cool, although the thought that went through my head was, "No wonder it's so hard to find stage time in Vancouver."

For Fans of Zombies and Choose Your Own Adventures

A friend sent me this link. It's fun.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

New Living Column is Up

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

The latest living column is up here. If it weren't for my inability to upload video auditions, I might be a reality show contestant right now.

In other news, my supervisor brought her one-year old into the office. He loves balls (Obvious joke here--"What guy doesn't?") whether it's stability balls or those round, paper Chinese decorations. "Ball" was even one of his first words.

If you're wondering why I'm bringing this up, it's because of this old column of mine re: putting the baby on the ball.

Clearly one of us was right and one of us was wrong. Although to be fair, I wouldn't have thought of it had she not told me not to do it (there's a lot of negatives in that last sentence. Sorry if it's confusing).

Yes, I AM gloating.

Gonzo Photojournalism

Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

I did the photo shoot for my next batch of articles today, appearing at the Journal offices carrying a hockey stick, a plastic skeleton, and a duffle bag filled with various odds and ends to the amusement of the staff.

I wonder if Hunter S. Thompson had days like that.

Hot Chicks And...Dan?

There's a website called Hot Chicks With Doucebags which is about...actually, now that I think about it, it's pretty self-explanatory.

It's pictures of guys (douchebags) with women (hot chicks)and accompanying text that is mostly tearing down the guy, talking about how hot the woman is, followed by the occasional bellyaching about "how come women like that end up with guys like him?" Sometimes he even fantasizes about riding in and rescuing these innocent women from the clutches of greasy douchebags everywhere.

It's funny stuff, but (deliberately or not) the guy seems to miss a couple points.

Point One - If there is one central tenet I've learned about romantic relationships, it's this: People find each other for a reason.

I'm not sure whether that's uplifting or chilling. But I do believe it's a fact (supplemented by the Dawn Dumont Corrollary: The two most damaged people in the bar will always find one another)

Part two will continue after these announcements from your sponsor...


Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Welcome back.

Point Two - A woman in a picture with a guy is not necessarily WITH that guy in any meaningful sense of the word.

I know this for a fact because there are enough pictures of me with women on my camera and many others to start a 'Hot Chicks with Dan' website (with enough left over for a 'Passable Chicks With Dan' website, followed by a 'Great Personalitied Girls With Dan' website)

Why do these pictures exist? Because I go out dancing to clubs regularly to dance, and invariably women will want pictures of themselves with me.

I tell myself it's because they know I'm a comedy superstar (Cold Lake, tonight--here I come)or my status as Brilliant Writer/Voice of a Generation (and Monster Pro Wrestling, lest we forget).

But I think mostly because there's something fun about getting your picture taken with the eccentric, thirty-something club regular dancing by himself. It's the equivalent of getting your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.

But girls aren't F***ING Mickey Mouse.

By interesting contrast, of the women I've ACTUALLY hooked up with in the last two and a half years (more than six...less than ten, depending on your definition of what exactly counts as a "hook-up") I have photographic evidence of exactly TWO of them...one of whom is my rhymes-with-burlfriend (I know, I know. The "G" word to me is like "Lord Voldemort" to the citizens of the Harry Potter-verse. Merely the thought of it fills me with dread)

So in conclusion: Don't Pity the Hot Chicks...they know exactly what they're getting.

Don't Fear the Douchebag...fear leads to hate which leads to the Dark Side.

Do however check out the website. The pictures are pretty funny.

In the absence of a 'Hot Chicks with Comedians(*)' site, it will have to do.

(*) Unless this counts.


Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

The Power of Red Bull Compels Me

I am hooked on Red Bull.

It's weird because I'm not into coffee, excessive drinking, drugs, or cigarettes. I don't even like prescription medication and will avoid if at all possible.

But Red Bull is magic.

The first time I tried it, I didn't think much of it. It didn't make me any less tired, but it made it impossible for me to sleep.

That sucked.

Now though, Red Bull has become "Dan-Be-Happy-Juice." It puts me in a better mood.

There's a Buddhist precept about not misusing intoxicants. I've decided to get around it by a rather generous definition of the term "misuse."

I'm a bad Buddhist anyway.

But I'm a pretty good MC. Come to The Comic Strip next Monday and see for yourself.

Also there are a couple new posts up at the hotchicksandstrangers blog on everything from the economics of dating to communication skills and (of course) some sex stuff. Check em out and see what you think.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

New Living Article Up

Latest Living article (on my laser eye surgery) is up. You can find it here.

I was also interviewed by the wonderful and talented Misty Harris for an article on humour here.

Finally, I made a last minute appearance on Kamikaze Komedy with Lars and Matt Lisac two nights ago, so those of you with time machines might want to go have a listen.

Slowly but surely, I'm becoming more comfortable with media stuff, but it's an uphill battle.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Comedy Thoughts

I read a cool magazine article the other day (it was either Rolling Stone, Psychology Today, or possibly a branch of the GQ/Esquire family)about comedy. One of the comedy writers they interviewed noted that comedy by nature is offensive, but the only people who are offended are people who have been personally affected by the particular issue.

In other words, people weren't offended by stuff that happened to other people. As a hypothetical example, if the guy wrote a sketch about--I don't know, a guy getting hit in a face with a pie--every one in the crowd would laugh but the one guy who saw his mother hit in the face with a pie and it scarred him for life wrote in going "I didn't think that was funny at all."

I think that's true, both in my experience as a comic and a human being. The Palin/Clinton sketch that I found so funny actually offended a surprising amount of people (including several of John McCain's campaign staff, apparently). When someone makes a joke at my expense, I tend not to be bothered unless it's something that hits too close to the bone, in which case I catch myself thinking "That's not funny."

Which is sometimes true, but often not. Sometimes the joke isn't funny. Other times it's hilarious, but I just don't have the perspective to see it at the time.

I find it interesting that the humo(u)r we find offensive says more about us than it does about the comedian.

Speaking of funny, here are my upcoming events including a HILARIOUS comedy show on the 29th.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

My New Favorite Link

My new favorite link. Hilarious.

What I love about it is that even though it's hilarious, it makes some pretty strong points.

That's what the best comedy should be like. I wish I had written this sketch.

Oh well. Gives me motivation, I guess.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Forget Jerks...Chicks Dig Shoes

The Suicide awareness march went well. I was moved by the amount of people and their strength in willing to publicly face down an issue with a lot of stigma attached to it. I was also really inspired by the people at the agency where I work for all the effort and time they put into organizing the march.

Of course, it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't comment on at least one funny thing.

One of the things the agency did was take donations of shoes and then set them out on display as a reminder of the people we've lost through suicide. The shoes were donations not the shoes of actual people who killed themselves (I feel I need to make that clear or the humour might be lost).

As we were setting up the shoes before the event, at least three or four times I heard one of my female co-workers say: "Oooh, these are cute."

Usually followed by, "I wonder what size they are."

I said they should leave their shoes and take the ones they wanted.

For the record, we all left the event wearing the same shoes we started in, but it was a near thing in a couple cases.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Lifting the Silence The Seventh Annual Suicide Awareness March

A good cause. I'll be doing the march this year.

From The Support Network website:

Each year, approximately one million people die by suicide around the world. This means nearly one life is lost to suicide every 40 seconds. Suicide is a leading cause of death world-wide.
The Support Network invites you to join us in raising awareness for suicide prevention and in honouring lives lost to suicide.

Event Details:
The Suicide Awareness March begins at The Royal Glenora Club and continues on to the legislative grounds where we will gather at The Eternal Flame for a brief ceremony. We will then return to the Royal Glenora Club for a reception and lunch.

Meeting Place:

The Royal Glenora Club
11160 River Valley Rd - parking is available

Date:
Friday, Septmember 12, 2008

Time:
11:30 am March Commences
12:00 pm Ceremony at The Eternal Flame
12:30 Reception and Lunch at The Royal Glenora Club.

New Living Article Up

New Living Article is up here
I'm working on adapting my comedy act now that I'm not wearing glasses anymore. Since I have joked about having bad eyesight AND jokes about the surgery, I'm working with the idea of bringing my glasses onstage and using them as a way of transitioning. I have a few different ideas and I'm excited at seeing how it works out because it's something different and new from what I've done before.

In other news, I am trying to write a dating story from a woman's point of view for the 'Dating for Shy Guys' book. Right now I'm stuck...on what to call the woman. Shannon? Monica? Gertrude?

Sheesh. If I'm having this much trouble with the name, I can't wait for actually writing the section of the book.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Crowd Pleaser

People do interesting things. I've never been much for big crowds, but sometimes they're interesting to watch--especially when the words "Rider" and "Nation" are involved.

Today I went to the University bookstore before work. It wasn't open, but because it was the start of classes, there were mobs of students outside everyone of the three entrances waiting for the doors to open.

As soon as the doors opened, I couldn't help myself. I adopted my best zombie walk and staggered through the doors groaning: "Braaiins...braiins..."

The clerk that saw me laughed his ass off...well, chuckled anyway.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Honesty? Radical!

I just finished reading a book by Brad Blanton called 'Radical Honesty.' His thesis is you are supposed to tell the truth to everybody all of the time. No hiding anything. No white lies.

I was just wondering how following this would affect my life (not to mention this week's Zombie Project on Right Speech). I was also wondering how this commitment to the unvarnished truth would work in an intimate relationship.

That's when I looked at the 'About The Author' notes at the back.

The author has been married FOUR times.

The puzzle pieces click into place.

Living Article coming out on Friday. Hope people like it.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

I Can Lead A Nation With A Microphone

I am driving my co-workers crazy playing Handlebars by the Flo-Bots, over and over again.

It isn't just the tune...although I really like that quite a bit. A lot of the song's appeal is that I relate to its message.

Sort of.

The song is overtly political, and asides from watching the U.S. Presidential race, I'm not a political guy.

But to me, the song isn't so much about politics is it is about the desire for MORE.

When I hear the words I think of someone who isn't happy with what they have, who thinks they'll be satisfied once they get the next thing...and of course they never are.

Certainly, I see it a lot in the entertainment business. I feel that way too. I would love to have my words read or heard influence a lot of people's lives, to "lead a nation with a microphone."

When you start in comedy, all you want is a spot on a show. Then you start looking for paid spots. Then you aren't happy unless you're MCing or headlining or on TV or...

It never stops.

Of course, this isn't exclusive to comedy. Some of us seem to be born with that gene, that drive to achieve--in life, relationships, careers--that strand in our DNA that keeps crying out (as my favorite line in the song goes): "Look at me/Look at ME!"


It's okay to want those things. It's okay to be ambitious, to have dreams, and pursue them. But it's equally important to appreciate what you have.

Wanting stuff is okay. Needing stuff to be complete is another matter entirely.

In the meantime, I'm happy to be on the show.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some co-workers to drive crazy.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Zombie Rises

As promised, the first Zombie Diaries entry is up.

This looks fun.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

New Living Article and Introducing Project: Zombie

Latest Living Article is up here.

It's on my new tattoo, which means I can finally stop hiding it in photo shoots. Continuity rules.

I'm also starting a new self-development project.

I'm going to become a zombie.

Okay, not really.

But what I am doing is reading the book the Zen of Zombie by Steve , and I'm going to apply some of it to my life for the next few weeks and see what happens.

Since it deals at least somewhat with my shyness, I figured it would be most appropriate to deal with it on the Hot Chicks & Strangers blog which actually deals with shyness as opposed to here which is supposed to mostly be self-promotion.

The first entry should be up tomorrow.


Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Dan Kisses A Heckler. Neither of them Turns Into a Handsome Prince

I guess this is my week for stories about women.

The story I REALLY want to tell happened this week involving the Seether concert and a lot of booze needs to be 'aged' so I can tell it without damaging any personal or professional reputations.

So you'll have to settle for the one below, plus another tale from my sordid past on my shyness blog. Neither of them make me look like a very good person, but I stopped worrying about how other people saw me a long time ago (and by a long time ago, I mean "April.")

Let's do the self-promotional stuff first:

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 22
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Moving on...

I don't understand hecklers. Generally, the type of person who would disrupt other people's entertainment because they need attention all of the time is not the kind of person I want to hang out with. In fact, I think they're kind of pathetic.

At a recent show, I had to deal with a woman in the front row. I didn't get a good glimpse of her face because a) she was wearing a low-cut top and b) because her behaviour during the show was so obnoxious that looking at her pissed me off.

Most of her comments were the worst kind of heckles because it wasn't so much "heckling" as it was "spitting out random sentence fragments that would make no sense in a regular conversation, much less a show."

This is the only exchange I remember because it was the closest she came to something resembling a coherent idea.

WOMAN: You're quiet and shy.
ME: I wish I could say the same about you.

I settled in to a rhythm of completely ignoring her, and the show ended up going quite well. I can tell how well a show went by the amount of people who come up afterwards to talk to me. This one was a gooder.

Anyway, I ended up going to the pub next door with a few other comics and a couple women who came to the show, one of whom was a cutie in a low cut top (You can probably guess where this is heading). One thing led to another--and by one thing I mean her pressing her leg to mine when we talked and by "another" I mean her pressing warmly against me and touching her lips to my ear when she murmured into it.

At this point I decided it was time to go for what we in the business refer to as "The Pull." Unfortunately, there were two obstacles.

a) her friend
b) We're in a freaking mall--a closed mall--and neither of us are driving anywhere.

I dealt with a) by just being honest. "I want to go for a walk with your friend. Will you be okay hanging here with these guys?"

Honesty is good. I highly recommend it. I actually got an email from her the next day thanking me for including her. As far as being a good person goes, it was one of my better moments.

Followed shortly by one of my not-so-good moments.

Me and low-cut shirt woman went for a walk in the mall. All the stores were closed, the security guards were out, and there was no place even remotely private.

So I took her to the whale.

A particular feature of this particular mall is a statue of a whale (duh) in the middle of the mall. There is a bench inside the whale's mouth.

And that is where I ended up kissing the softest lips I have ever tasted. They were truly remarkable. I have never kissed lips like it before or since.

On the way back to the pub, holding hands, she told me, "I loved you onstage. You were so quiet and shy."

And there--finally--the penny dropped.

HOLY S**T! I JUST KISSED A HECKLER! I'm HOLDING HANDS with her!

Worlds Collide.

One world is: she seems cool and she's a great kisser and I really like the way she looks at me. The other world is: She was super-obnoxious during the show, and those types never turn out to be good people.

So who was this woman? Which world did she belong to? A world of fun and awesome-kissing. Or Planet A**hole.

I found out a few days later.

But that's a story for another time.

Word of Mouth Is Killing Them

Lars Callieou, Kelly Soloduka, Andrew Iwanyk, and Sean Lecomber have put together a Fringe show. All four of them are guys I really enjoy watching, so I encourage everyone to go check them out.

Here's the info.


Word of Mouth is Killing Us
Running Time: 1 hour & 30 minutes
Despite resounding indifference the comedians of Stand Up Stand Outs (2007) are back in 2008. Word of Mouth is Killing Us will prove once again that stand up comedy is an unwelcome addition to any Fringe Festival. Expecting audience members who "couldn't get tickets to anything else", Lars, Kelly, Sean & Andrew look forward to hearing 'the sound of no hands clapping'. Don't tell your friends! Word of Mouth is Killing Us.


Online tickets:
http://tickets.fringetheatre.ca/dateselect.aspx?item=357&venue=8

Show times:
Friday August 15 - 6:30 pm
Sunday August 17 - 4:30 pm
Tuesday August 19 - 8:45 pm
Wednesday August 20 - 6:45 pm
Thursday August 21 - 11:00 pm
Saturday August 23 - 8:45 pm

Acacia Masonic Hall
Located at 10433-83 Ave
http://maps.google.com/maps?geocode=&q=10433-83+Ave.(Acacia+Hall)+++

Life and Everything.

I won the board game, Game of Life last week.

Which meant I finally got to tell someone, "You suck at life."

I Don't Get It

This is the it, I'm talking about.

Okay, I understand the boots with the fur. But how do you wear both Apple Bottom Jeans and baggy sweatpants at the same time?

For that matter what kind of club would let you in wearing baggy sweatpants?

Then again, I'm pretty ignorant with this stuff. I didn't even know what 'shawty' meant, let alone the 'superman' in "superman that ho."

Urban Dictionary, you've changed my life.

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 22
Friday, September 5
Friday, September 19
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Bad Joke Pandemic

Driving down Jasper last night, we passed a couple of women lugging suitcases behind them.

Captain Hammer (The artist formerly known as PrettyBoy) took one look at them and said: "Wow, those chicks have some serious baggage!"

I laughed myself sick.

Run for your lives, everyone. My terrible jokes have become contagious.


Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Bar News

DAN: What do you do?
GUY AT THE BAR: I'm an enterpreneur.
DAN: (joking) Like a drug dealer?
GUY: (not joking) Sometimes. I do other stuff too.

Oops.

The guy went on to tell me about the coming apocalypse and how big brother is watching us and we will all have chips implanted in us to track our movements. Also, the New Slavery is coming.

Some people lead rich lives.

Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Important Announcement for Regular Readers

Sisyphus finally got his rock up the hill. The story is something that would only happen to him.

PS - Latest Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Being Appreciative

This was going to be a story about how I kissed a senior citizen at the bar last week.

But when I sat down to write, I got distracted by other thoughts.

Last night was one of my best nights on stage in a long while.

I wasn't any funnier than usual. The crowd was good, but not exceptional.

What made the difference was that I started to feel the way I want to feel onstage. Not worrying about the next joke...not agonizing over the last joke...but just being in the moment.

The interesting thing is, a lot of this new stuff didn't come from doing comedy. It came from being involved in wrestling, and my new interest in Buddhism, and my attempts to overcome my shyness.

A lot of comedians tell you that the way to become a better comedian is to eat, breathe, and live comedy 24 hours a day.

I think there's some truth to that, especially at the beginning and especially if you're obsessed with maximizing your success.

But I also think that it's possible to stagnate if that's all you do. Comedy comes from life experience and making your entire existence about comedy narrows that experience. I remember a veteran comic telling me that one of the reason he had a lot of trouble finding material audiences could relate to because his lifestyle was so different from that of the audience.

There's a big world out there and my life is richer for it. Learning to appreciate other things helped me appreciate the things I already have more.

Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, August 4 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Schedule Updates

I need a good story or something.

I got laser eye surgery done, but it was done fairly quickly. In fact, the whole thing was a blur. Get it? A blur?

Hear these jokes and more this week at the Comic Strip.

Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, August 4 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

The Latest on ed (and a new Living Article)

New Living article is up here. It's about dealing with the loss of my brother now that a couple years have passed.

I feel I should write more about it, but most of what I want to say is in the article. The last two years have been a strange journey that's for sure, and while it's been tough, there have also been a lot of strengths I've discovered in myself and the people around me.

In other news,ed Magazine is going on hiatus, which also mean a hiatus for headLINES and Pair of Singles. I'm going to miss it. I've contributed a headLINES column every week but one since January of 2005.

I'm hoping Dawn and I can find a home for 'A Pair of Singles' as it's one of my favorite columns to write. If you're a regular reader of POS,feel free to drop an email or phone call to the Journal or write a letter to the editor. Or if you have an idea for another publication that might be interested in our work, feel free to give us a shout (you can contact me through the blog).

In other news, Dictionary.com's word of the day is Tatterdemalion. I love that word.

Also, a friend of mine send me the link to this blog called Dr. Horrible. It's written by Joss Whedon starring Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris. It's a musical about a supervillain. Hilarious stuff.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here

Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Latest Pair of Singles up and Life According to Oz

Latest Pair of Singles is up. You can find it here. I also have a Living column out tomorrow so check the Journal.

I am a big fan of the character Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as people who have read this article already know. The character is laid-back, comfortable with himself, and genuine, which I think are great qualities to have.

Here's the gospel according to Oz. Something about these passages speaks to my soul.

OZ ON BEING COOL:

Xander: You yourself are considered cool. Why is that?

Oz: Am I?

Xander: Is it about the talking? The way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?

Oz: Could be.

Xander: I know! You're in a band! That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?

Oz: Not the way I play it.

Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I'm taking the flugelhorn and gettin' *zero* trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?

Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.

================================================

OZ ON DATING:

OZ: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm nervous about it, actually... It's interesting.

WILLOW: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.

OZ: Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?

WILLOW: Oh! I can't!

OZ: I like that you're unpredictable.

==================================================================

AND FINALLY...

OZ: If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the redhead.

Words to live by.


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here

Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Stuff I'm Listening To.

This

and This

and--possibly embarassingly-- This

New headLINES

Latest headLINES up here

Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here

Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

New Pair of Singles

The latest Pair of Singles is up. The question we tacked is how long should you wait before you have sex?


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Dan Brodribb of the Windsor Star?

Part of my review of JM Kearns' excellent book "Why Mr. Right Can't Find You" got quoted on his website

Interestingly, I am referred to as a writer for the Windsor Star.

Nope.

In fact, I'd never heard of it.

I suspect that particular piece, which was a series of capsule reviews of a bunch of dating books on the market got picked up by other papers.

I guess I can add the Windsor Star to newspapers I've written for, even though I didn't know they existed.

It's still cool to see your name in print though. Clearly I'm a reviewer to be reckoned with.

Neat-O.

Speaking of dating, I'm starting a new blog just on dating and relationships at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com. I haven't really decided if its something I really want to promote (hence burying news of it's creation at the end of a random blog about Windsor) For now, it's going to be random ramblings and a way to get my thoughts in order as I put together a book version of 'Dating for Shy Guys.' If you're interested in such things, feel free to check it out and leave your comments.

Comedy Contest Tonight

--I'll be performing tonight in The Comic Strip's Last Comic Standing contest. Personally, I'm not a fan of comedy contests, but this one has a really solid line-up, so I encourage everyone to come down tonight and check it out.



Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

new headLINES is up

Check it out here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Pair of Singles, New Living Article

My latest Living article, on Salsa dancing, is up here.

Latest Pair of Singles is here.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Canada Day

I enjoyed the Canada fireworks last night.

I don't think of myself as a 'crowd' person, but last night I had a good time. Kids were playing in the fountain; families were sitting together; teenagers were running around with their friends.

I don't know if the travelling I've done in the last year and a half or so has changed me, but I felt very comfortable and content.

Life, as always, remains good.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Newest headLINES is up here.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Dan vs. the Express Bus, New Pair of Singles

New Pair of Singles is up here.

Why does a bus say "Express" if it is not an express bus? Three times I have inadvertently gotten on an "express" bus from downtown to WEM only to take a meandering crawl down Stony Plain road, loop through the various crescents of West Edmonton, a slow boat to China to pick up some Tibetan refugees, and finally to the mall.

The worst part is I keep forgetting the bus number so I can never remember which of the Express buses is an actual express and which is the Transit System's little practical joke on people who believe everything they read.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New headLINES and Comedy Observation

I never get bored with comedy. Probably the two things I love most are 1)Working out new jokes and 2) Discovering interesting things about human nature and crowd psychology. Crowds have their own personalities--each one is different and fascinating.

Last night was a great example of 2). ANDREW IWANYK was onstage doing what Andrew does. Partway through his set, he got bogged down and he handled the situation in spectacular fashion. It was funny, honest, and commited, and it's a place I hope to consistenly reach in my own performances.

The audience didn't know this, of course. The audience didn't know HOW to react to what they were seeing. But I was so delighted, I started clapping.

Here's the interesting thing.

As soon as I started clapping, everyone else joined in. I don't even think they realized why they were doing it. Even Andrew remarked: "I'm not sure what you're clapping for, but I'll take it."

I don't have any great comedy lesson from that moment. I just found it neat.

Anyway, here are this week's headLINES.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Rambling Thoughts (written Saturday)

The Slayer left today for Toronto. She will be gone for six months.

Watching the taxi pull out of the parking lot, I was 38% sadder than I expected to be. We had a good four months together.

I'm always amazed at the capacity to be surprised by my own emotions.
I like it.

It keeps things from getting predictable.

I don't know what the future holds, but in some ways, it makes me appreciate what we had that much more. As recently as a couple years ago, I never thought I would be in the position to have happy relationships.

Life is good.

Dawn and Dan Go To A Strip Club and Pass Judgement on Naked Women

Those of you who read Pair of Singles regularly know how funny my co-writer Dawn Dumont is (and if you don't, head on over to read our latest article here.

But some of our funniest moments, no one will no about, because they don't get written down.

Last night, we took the Slayer to a strip club to celebrate her last night in town (it was her idea. My opinion of most strip clubs is already well documented. Here and here are a couple of examples.

That's where we learned that Dawn and I have very different tastes in our exotic dancers. Which would be fine except that it turned into a running argument that lasted into the wee hours of the morning as we deconstructed the strippers the way we look at comedy sets.

These lines probably won't be funny to everyone because they use some comedy insider terms. Also, you kind of had to be there--we were getting pretty into our arguments.

Here are some samples--not word for word, but you'll get the idea.

DAN: My stripper is killing.
DAWN: That's because my stripper warmed up the crowd. Besides, I bet she's been doing the same act for years. I saw that same pole move on TV five years ago.
DAN: She's athletic. She's got great stage presence.
DAWN: So you're saying she's the Dane Cook of strippers. My stripper is in it from the art. She doesn't have to resort to cheap pole tricks.
DAN: Your stripper is a hack. I was surprised she didn't ask if by applause there are any married people in the crowd tonight.
DAWN: Yeah, but how good would your stripper be doing if she wasn't selling posters. She's a prop act.
DAN: At least she stuck to her time. Yours was out there forever. The other strippers were in the back muttering to each other.

The capper though was when Dawn actuall overheard a stripper say.
STRIPPER: I'm going to try some new stuff tonight.
DAWN (through tears of laughter): Yeah, they seem like a good crowd.
DAN: Try one new bit and if the crowd's on board, keep going.
DAWN: She's brave, trying new stuff on a weekend. I would have worked it out on a Monday show first.
DAN: Yeah, but there's a pretty strong headliner following her.

You get the idea.

I'm hosting at The Comic Strip on Monday. See everybody there.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Pair of Singles, New headLINES

Pair of Singles is here.

headLINES is here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Living Article Up

It's on books. I'd tell you more about it, but I've got some reading to do.

Find it here.

New Pair of Singles is up

Check it out here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

headLINES

headLINES is up here


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Traveller's Attitude

One of the fun things about travelling is it makes you appreciate home more.

I think there is a traveller's attitude: Being willing to explore and not taking things for granted.

But you don't have to go anywhere to experience it.

The other day I went for a walk around my neighbourhood and realized there are a lot of things around the area I've never paid attention to before.

The Slayer and I ended up stopping into a bar. It looked like a dive--and it WAS a dive, but there was a cool mural in the back in front of the bathrooms. Also, the bartender was a really cool-looking person.

I'm glad I took the time to see that. It's a small thing, but if there's one thing I believe, it's that small things are important.

Pair of Singles

Latest Pair of Singles is up here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

The ToothPaste Incident (and other notes from Montreal)

I like to be prepared when I travel.

So when Lars Callieou told me about how he lost his luggage on a flight to New York, I adjusted my packing accordingly for my Montreal trip, moving a change of clothes, a tube of toothpaste, and my deodorant into my onboard luggage from my checked bags.

I was very proud of my foresight...right up to the moment I ran into airport security.

They confiscated my toothpaste!!

Unbelievable. Apparently, you are only allowed liquids and gels that are less than 100ml. For security reasons.

I'm all for security at airports, and I don't know much about this stuff. Maybe it's possible to hide explosive gel in a toothpaste tube. I watch a lot of spy movies so I'm willing to believe anything.

They're the security experts. They know more than me. I was ticked I was going to have to spring for a new tube of toothpaste (that one was almost full)out of my drinking money, but I'm willing to be a good citizen for the sake of national security.

However, the next thing that happened, made me wonder if our crack airline security might not be as great as we think they are.

They let my deodorant through...so long as it was sealed in a plastic bag.

Two comments.

1 - Would a person clever enough to turn Old Spice into a weapon of mass destruction would be fooled by ziploc?

2 - The reason my deodorant got through was allegedly because it was "less than 100 ml." But it WASN'T less than 100ml. It was bigger than the toothpaste. All you had to do was look at it to know it was too big.

But they let it through. Because it said 85 on the side.

85 grams.

If the people keeping safe the friendly skies cannot tell the difference between a unit of weight and a unit of volume...I'm not sure I feel so safe anymore.

Other notes from my trip...

-Now that I've performed in Montreal and Vancouver, I can officially have myself introduced by the MC as having "performed all over this great country of ours." Now all I need is a show in Halifax or St. Johns and I'll have been "entertaining people from coast to coast."

-Ever want to know what Grand Theft Auto would feel like live? Take a cab from the Montreal airport to the hotel. It was exhilirating and terrifying at the same time.

-There are a lot of strip clubs and churches in Montreal. It's like heaven and hell on the same block. One strip club was two doors down from a dance studio, which I thought was hilarious. They go to school and then they can go three doors down to apply for a job. Studio Octopussy must be the only strip club in teh world where the dancers shake their booty a pointe, French-style.

-As well as being fashionable, most Montrealers are very friendly once they get over the initial shock of being talked to by a stranger. I met a lot of cool people. It was also fun being able to speak French again although one of my language gaffes will make into the next edition of "Things You Only Hear in Bars."

Dan Returns Home (Also: Latest headLINES is up)

I'm back from Montreal. I reached my sister's ("don't worry, I'll leave the back door unlocked") at midnight last night.

The back door was not unlocked.

Chaos ensued.

I will write more about Montreal once I get some sleep.

In the meantime, Check out the latest headLINES.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Living article and Updates from Montreal

Greetings from downtown Montreal. Let's get the self-promotion out of the way first...

Latest Living article is up here. It's on the sport of curling. What better time than late May for a curling article?

There are also rumours that the Pair of Singles column will be going weekly as of June 5. The current article is here.

Montreal is a beautiful city and everyone here is very well dressed. I saw a woman who had matched her neck kerchief to her shoelaces.

I did a guest spot at the Comedy Works. The show was all right, but I especially enjoyed watching the headliner Darryl Lenox (whose name I had to spellcheck three times to find the correct amount of 'r's in 'Darryl' and 'n's in 'Lennox')I really enjoyed his casual vibe on stage and the fact he takes his subjects in a different direction that you'd expect.

In other news, I am pleased to report that, so far at least, I have not mistaken any women for whores.

Take care, everybody.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Things You Only Hear in Bars (Part 3) Plus BONUS Fun Songs

Just a quick version as I'm off to Montreal.

RANDOM WOMAN: I've matured. I don't f*** guys in bathrooms anymore.

Fun Song #1

WOMAN: I can't dance.
DAN: Can't is a four-letter word.
WOMAN: No it's not. Can't is a FIVE letter word. C-A-N-T-E...can't.
DAN: It's a good thing you're pretty.

Fun Song #2

DRUNK GUY #1: I'm T-Mac!
DRUNK GUY #2: I'm T-Roy.
DAN: So, which of you is T-Bag?
DRUNK #1: Yeahhhh, T-Bag! You're T-Bag!
DAN: I don't want to be T-Bag. Can't I be T-Bone?
DRUNK GUYS 1&2: T-BAG! T-BAG!!
DAN: I wish I hadn't said anything.



Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

headLINES and a quick story

Walking through the mall, I saw an attractive woman.
DAN: Hi, how's it going?
WOMAN: Great. Are you rich?
DAN'S BRAIN: Holy crap! There's prostitutes in the mall! That's incredible!
DAN: Uh, no, sorry.
WOMAN: I thought you were the guy I was meeting.
DAN: Wasn't me. Good luck finding a rich guy.

It was only when I was walking away that I realized she was probably on a blind date waiting for a guy named Rich.

Oops.

Here's headLINES


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

The Loudest Slayer In The World

I'm going to Montreal next week. I'm very excited.

I took the Slayer to a basketball game last night. Did you know Edmonton has a pro basketball team?

Me neither. But it was fun.

During one time-out, then announcer declared there would be a prize for a free dinner for the loudest fan in the arena.

DAN'S BRAIN: The Slayer is going to win this one.

Sure enough, The Slayer was on her feet, banging her thundersticks and shrieking and jumping around.

ANNOUNCER: I'm saying who can be the loudest, most annoying person in here?!?!

The Slayer redoubled her efforts, jumping around and screaming.

I had complete faith in the Slayer's ability to be loud and annoying, but I decided to help out a little.

While she jumped around and shrieked and made a spectacle of herself, I pointed at her with one hand, covered my ears with the other, put the same annoyed and exasperated expression on my face that I used as an announcer for Steve Rivers' ring entrance, caught the announcer's eye and looked at him with a pleading look that said "Please, man. Make her stop."

We're going to dinner next week.

Life is good.


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

New Pair of Singles is up

Check it out here.

I can't believe I wrote an article about Sex and the City.

I must shower.

Looking forward to reading your comments, which you can leave below the article.

headLINES, Dating Night.

New headLINES is up.

Also, Dan and Dawn's dating night is tonight. Show starts at 8pm. Tickets are twelve dollars.

Hope to see you there.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Where Do You Get Your Ideas? (New Living Article)

Actually, it's all done through outsourcing. I got a guy in India who does nothing but ideas all day long.

Here's the latest Living Article


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

headLINES

New headLINES is up here.

As well, here are some links to some things I've enjoyed recently.

James Ball introduced me to this link, which I think is hilarious. I wish I'd thought of the concept myself.

As well, here's one of the best hockey articles I've ever read. Simmons captured exactly what it feels like to be a former hockey fan disillusioned by the direction the NHL took in the nineties and early 00s.

If you don't like wrestling (or basketball) you might as well not read this entry

Went to the Monster Pro Wrestling show last night. Four things of note.

1 - They have a new 'submissions division' that uses a system of rounds and is more MMA in style. WILLY SAINT and TAYLOR STONE {I think--someone may have to correct me on the name) were the first to show what they could do with the new rules and it was really cool.

2 - A new heel named Tyler debuted. Great stuff. He got the heel heat of the night. Everyone hated him.

3 - Speaking of heels...the most hated man in MPW history, Steve Rivers actually wrestled is match as a babyface. It was bizarro world seeing people cheer him. I've never seen a crowd get behind him before.

The interesting thing was, there was no 'storyline' reason for people to get behind Rivers, which made it more amazing to me. He didn't save any of the other babyfaces or redeem himself. He just went out there and wrestled a 'good guy style' and people bought it.

It makes me respect Rivers that much more. Watching him also made me realize that there is more to being a good guy or bad guy than just telling the fans you're a good guy or bad guy. So much of it comes through in your body language and facial expressions. Though I've never been in the ring, I've heard lots of wrestlers talk about what a good worker Steve is, but as a fan what sets him a part is the way he can use his face and body language to get across his personality and the story of a match.

4 - Also, El Nino wrestled his last match tonight, working through a blown-out knee. El Nino has been a part of MPW since I started watching it, and though he was rarely in the main event spot, his dedication was a huge part of MPW.

I will miss him.

On an unrelated note, I'm also really enjoying the Spurs-Hornets NBA playoff series. I've always loved the way San Antonio plays as a team. I hadn't seen New Orleans play, and I'm impressed. They're for real.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Updates--including latest Pair of Singles, headLINES

Dawn and I have a massive two-part Pair of Singles FAQ up. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here.

As well, headLINES is up


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Dan Talks Good

THE SLAYER: For a writer, your vocabulary is missing some words.
DAN: I don't know what you're making mouth sounds about.

Dan Keeps His Mouth Shut...kind of

The reason for the lack of updates is I had a Story happen the last couple days.

It's a car crash story(*)...so awful it's compelling, and nobody comes out of it looking good.

I really really really really want to tell it.

But I won't. Not yet, anyway.

I don't mind making myself look bad, but a couple of the other people involved...well, I won't say they DESERVE better, but I don't believe in writing sh*t about people who can be identified...especially private citizens (as opposed to comedians, musicians, and wrestlers who love seeing their name in print). Bad Karma.

Besides, in a weird sort of way, I'm grateful to them. If not for them, I wouldn't have this story, so I'll respect their privacy.

Not only that, I really believe their hearts are in the right place and the last thing I want to do is embarass anybody.

I still think it's a good story though. Which is why it kills me not to tell it.

I'll give it some time, change some details, and the story will come out once enough weeks have passed I don't think anyone will be able to identify the parties involved.

Fortunately, Lurch was kind enough to give me permission to tell one of his latest adventures. For background information on Lurch, click here.

For those of you who are too lazy to click the link, here's the nutshell version. Lurch is a guy I know who has super-powers when it comes to attracting women to him only to be thwarted by fate at the moment of truth.

Here's Lurch with the details:

LURCH'S STORY: THE TRIALS OF SISYPHUS CONTINUE

"It started like any other night. I meet this girl, she's good to go. I'm like, 'hey, I'll give you a ride home.'

It turned out, she lived in the middle of nowhere.

I'm like, "Who's your neighbour, the Blair Witch?"

But whatever. I'm thinking, 'who cares. It's So on. I'm going to get laid FOR SURE. There is no way this cannot happen."

I got to her place. There's another car parked out front.

I'm like, "oh, you got a room-mate?"

She goes, "No. I live with my dad. He's a cop."

She hands me twenty bucks, says 'thanks for the ride,' and just like that, she's gone."

The Trials of Sisyphus continue.

(*)Metaphorically. No real cars were harmed.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, May 5 - The Comic Strip
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Complete Updates

Upcoming Comedy
Monday, May 5 - The Ccomic Strip
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

headLINES

New headLINES is up here

Latest Pair of Singles is up

Check it out here.

The next singles night at the Comic Strip will be May 20. We'll announce more details soon.