Gentlemen, we need to take action. We need to make a serious change in the world we live in.
I'm not talking about global warming. I'm not talking about world peace or world hunger although those causes are okay too so long as it doesn't cut into Guitar Hero time.
I'm talking about strip clubs.
Last Friday I went to a strip club. I was thoroughly disguted.
Don't get me wrong. I like nudity. I don't even mind the fact strip clubs are basically a giant Money Flytrap from the cover charge to the coatcheck charge to the overpriced drinks to the VIP sections to the bathroom attendants to the...well...to the whole reason guys go to strip clubs in the first place. All they want is your money, but so what? Disneyland is no different.
What I hate is the mediocrity.
Every dancer looks more or less the same. Every one of them comes out and does the same five moves (insert Bret Hart joke here, smart marks). There's nothing interesting or cool or even anything that shows a hint of personality. All that changes is the costumes and the hair color. I don't know why the clubs don't just hire one woman and give her a few sets of clothes and some different colored wigs. For all I know, that's what they do.
I don't blame the dancers. If that's all they have to do to get your money, then why would they do anything else? Big budget Hollywood movies are no different.
No, gentlemen, I blame you for paying for this horseshit.
We call this city the City of Champions. The Oilers let us down and we do nothing. The Eskimos let us down and we do nothing.
City of Playoff-Missing Teams I can live with. But City of Substandard Nude Entertainment?
The line must be drawn somewhere.
I've done my part by raising awareness.
The rest is up to you.