Sunday, November 04, 2007

K-Rock, Be Damned...What The Hell Happened to Ace DavidsonÉÉ

There are some questions that are universal. Who are weÉ Where are we goingÉ Why is blogger giving me Ès instead of question marks at the end of my sentencesÉ

But the most burning question of all is: What happened to former Monster Pro Wrestling villain, Ace DavidsonÉ

Saturday night, I found out.

Keep in mind, this wasn`t an easy decision to make. Through an unlikely chain of events I`d gotten a free ticket to a pub crawl on Friday night from a couple of soldiers on leave. I`ve never been to a pub crawl and the prospect of a school bus, free drinks, and Very Bad Girls was prety tempting.

But the lure of solving the Mystery of the Missing Heel proved too great. So that`s why instead of thowing up out a school bus window, I found myself riding through a snowstorm in a car with MPW wrestlers Heavy Metal and Young Lion Bobby Sharp.

We ended up in a dive Karaoke bar in Parkland village. If I had to describe it, I`d say it was a slightly downscale version of the bar Arnold Schwarzenegger tore up at the beginning of the second Terminator movie. Which was odd, because for a dive bar, it had the nicest, largest bathrooms I`d ever seen.

But you aren`t reading this for my thoughts on karaoke bar interior design. Get to the good stuff. Where was AceÉ

Ace was in the bar. Still towering over everyone, but instead of yelling at fans and hitting good guy wrestlers with a chain, he was singing.

He was really good. You haven`t lived until you`ve seen a six and a half foot tall biker-looking dude sing a pitch perfect version of Led Zeppelin`s `Babe, I`m Gonna Leave You.`

Actually, everyone who sang was pretty good. Better than pretty good. It was surreal. When I first walked into the bar, I thought I`d stepped into a photo shoot for White Trash Quarterly. Then I`d watch them go up one by one to sing and blow the doors off the place. I was floored.

Afterwards, we retired to Casa Davidson where I got to play Guitar Hero II for the first time. My competition was Heavy Metal.

I figured it would be a breeze. Okay, I`d never played the game before, but I could play real guitar (sort of). I was in a band for years, and Heavy Metal...well, let me tell you a story that tells you who Heavy Metal is.

Heavy Metal is a pro wrestler. He wrestled on Friday and the finish of his match was to end with him being ``hit in the head`` with a title belt. Unfortunatley, what with one thing and another, when the finish of the match game, Heavy Metal forgot to put his hands up so getting `hit in the head with a big metal belt` ended up with him--well--being hit in the head a big metal belt.

Metal was actually cut open from the impact, but decided since the lemon was there, he might as well make lemonade. He went to do his post-match interview intending to show off his bloody new cut.

Which turned out to be not as bloody as he would have liked for dramatic purposes. So Heavy Metal decided to make the injury worse by...and I swear this is God`s honest truth--punching himself in the face. Several times.

And when that didn`t work, he got my good friend and former toughman competitor Ripper to punch him in the head as well. Several more times.

And when THAT didn`t work, he resorted to tearing the cut open with his fingernails.

So I was pretty confident I could beat him at Guitar Hero II.

I was wrong.

Do you know how embarassing it is for a former semi-professional musician to be outplayed on ``Shout at the Devil`` by a guy whose main job requirement is the ability to look good in spandex and fall off a ladderÉ

Then again, maybe I should have known better. He does call himself Heavy Metal after all.

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