Driving down Jasper last night, we passed a couple of women lugging suitcases behind them.
Captain Hammer (The artist formerly known as PrettyBoy) took one look at them and said: "Wow, those chicks have some serious baggage!"
I laughed myself sick.
Run for your lives, everyone. My terrible jokes have become contagious.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Bar News
DAN: What do you do?
GUY AT THE BAR: I'm an enterpreneur.
DAN: (joking) Like a drug dealer?
GUY: (not joking) Sometimes. I do other stuff too.
Oops.
The guy went on to tell me about the coming apocalypse and how big brother is watching us and we will all have chips implanted in us to track our movements. Also, the New Slavery is coming.
Some people lead rich lives.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
GUY AT THE BAR: I'm an enterpreneur.
DAN: (joking) Like a drug dealer?
GUY: (not joking) Sometimes. I do other stuff too.
Oops.
The guy went on to tell me about the coming apocalypse and how big brother is watching us and we will all have chips implanted in us to track our movements. Also, the New Slavery is coming.
Some people lead rich lives.
Current Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Important Announcement for Regular Readers
Sisyphus finally got his rock up the hill. The story is something that would only happen to him.
PS - Latest Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
PS - Latest Living article is up here.
Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Being Appreciative
This was going to be a story about how I kissed a senior citizen at the bar last week.
But when I sat down to write, I got distracted by other thoughts.
Last night was one of my best nights on stage in a long while.
I wasn't any funnier than usual. The crowd was good, but not exceptional.
What made the difference was that I started to feel the way I want to feel onstage. Not worrying about the next joke...not agonizing over the last joke...but just being in the moment.
The interesting thing is, a lot of this new stuff didn't come from doing comedy. It came from being involved in wrestling, and my new interest in Buddhism, and my attempts to overcome my shyness.
A lot of comedians tell you that the way to become a better comedian is to eat, breathe, and live comedy 24 hours a day.
I think there's some truth to that, especially at the beginning and especially if you're obsessed with maximizing your success.
But I also think that it's possible to stagnate if that's all you do. Comedy comes from life experience and making your entire existence about comedy narrows that experience. I remember a veteran comic telling me that one of the reason he had a lot of trouble finding material audiences could relate to because his lifestyle was so different from that of the audience.
There's a big world out there and my life is richer for it. Learning to appreciate other things helped me appreciate the things I already have more.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, August 4 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
But when I sat down to write, I got distracted by other thoughts.
Last night was one of my best nights on stage in a long while.
I wasn't any funnier than usual. The crowd was good, but not exceptional.
What made the difference was that I started to feel the way I want to feel onstage. Not worrying about the next joke...not agonizing over the last joke...but just being in the moment.
The interesting thing is, a lot of this new stuff didn't come from doing comedy. It came from being involved in wrestling, and my new interest in Buddhism, and my attempts to overcome my shyness.
A lot of comedians tell you that the way to become a better comedian is to eat, breathe, and live comedy 24 hours a day.
I think there's some truth to that, especially at the beginning and especially if you're obsessed with maximizing your success.
But I also think that it's possible to stagnate if that's all you do. Comedy comes from life experience and making your entire existence about comedy narrows that experience. I remember a veteran comic telling me that one of the reason he had a lot of trouble finding material audiences could relate to because his lifestyle was so different from that of the audience.
There's a big world out there and my life is richer for it. Learning to appreciate other things helped me appreciate the things I already have more.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, August 4 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Schedule Updates
I need a good story or something.
I got laser eye surgery done, but it was done fairly quickly. In fact, the whole thing was a blur. Get it? A blur?
Hear these jokes and more this week at the Comic Strip.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, August 4 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I got laser eye surgery done, but it was done fairly quickly. In fact, the whole thing was a blur. Get it? A blur?
Hear these jokes and more this week at the Comic Strip.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, August 4 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Friday, July 18, 2008
The Latest on ed (and a new Living Article)
New Living article is up here. It's about dealing with the loss of my brother now that a couple years have passed.
I feel I should write more about it, but most of what I want to say is in the article. The last two years have been a strange journey that's for sure, and while it's been tough, there have also been a lot of strengths I've discovered in myself and the people around me.
In other news,ed Magazine is going on hiatus, which also mean a hiatus for headLINES and Pair of Singles. I'm going to miss it. I've contributed a headLINES column every week but one since January of 2005.
I'm hoping Dawn and I can find a home for 'A Pair of Singles' as it's one of my favorite columns to write. If you're a regular reader of POS,feel free to drop an email or phone call to the Journal or write a letter to the editor. Or if you have an idea for another publication that might be interested in our work, feel free to give us a shout (you can contact me through the blog).
In other news, Dictionary.com's word of the day is Tatterdemalion. I love that word.
Also, a friend of mine send me the link to this blog called Dr. Horrible. It's written by Joss Whedon starring Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris. It's a musical about a supervillain. Hilarious stuff.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I feel I should write more about it, but most of what I want to say is in the article. The last two years have been a strange journey that's for sure, and while it's been tough, there have also been a lot of strengths I've discovered in myself and the people around me.
In other news,ed Magazine is going on hiatus, which also mean a hiatus for headLINES and Pair of Singles. I'm going to miss it. I've contributed a headLINES column every week but one since January of 2005.
I'm hoping Dawn and I can find a home for 'A Pair of Singles' as it's one of my favorite columns to write. If you're a regular reader of POS,feel free to drop an email or phone call to the Journal or write a letter to the editor. Or if you have an idea for another publication that might be interested in our work, feel free to give us a shout (you can contact me through the blog).
In other news, Dictionary.com's word of the day is Tatterdemalion. I love that word.
Also, a friend of mine send me the link to this blog called Dr. Horrible. It's written by Joss Whedon starring Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris. It's a musical about a supervillain. Hilarious stuff.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Latest Pair of Singles up and Life According to Oz
Latest Pair of Singles is up. You can find it here. I also have a Living column out tomorrow so check the Journal.
I am a big fan of the character Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as people who have read this article already know. The character is laid-back, comfortable with himself, and genuine, which I think are great qualities to have.
Here's the gospel according to Oz. Something about these passages speaks to my soul.
OZ ON BEING COOL:
Xander: You yourself are considered cool. Why is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? The way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.
Xander: I know! You're in a band! That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.
Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I'm taking the flugelhorn and gettin' *zero* trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.
================================================
OZ ON DATING:
OZ: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm nervous about it, actually... It's interesting.
WILLOW: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
OZ: Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
WILLOW: Oh! I can't!
OZ: I like that you're unpredictable.
==================================================================
AND FINALLY...
OZ: If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the redhead.
Words to live by.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
I am a big fan of the character Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as people who have read this article already know. The character is laid-back, comfortable with himself, and genuine, which I think are great qualities to have.
Here's the gospel according to Oz. Something about these passages speaks to my soul.
OZ ON BEING COOL:
Xander: You yourself are considered cool. Why is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? The way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.
Xander: I know! You're in a band! That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.
Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I'm taking the flugelhorn and gettin' *zero* trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.
================================================
OZ ON DATING:
OZ: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm nervous about it, actually... It's interesting.
WILLOW: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
OZ: Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
WILLOW: Oh! I can't!
OZ: I like that you're unpredictable.
==================================================================
AND FINALLY...
OZ: If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the redhead.
Words to live by.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
New headLINES
Latest headLINES up here
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here
Dan's musings on relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com
Thursday, July 10, 2008
New Pair of Singles
The latest Pair of Singles is up. The question we tacked is how long should you wait before you have sex?
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Dan Brodribb of the Windsor Star?
Part of my review of JM Kearns' excellent book "Why Mr. Right Can't Find You" got quoted on his website
Interestingly, I am referred to as a writer for the Windsor Star.
Nope.
In fact, I'd never heard of it.
I suspect that particular piece, which was a series of capsule reviews of a bunch of dating books on the market got picked up by other papers.
I guess I can add the Windsor Star to newspapers I've written for, even though I didn't know they existed.
It's still cool to see your name in print though. Clearly I'm a reviewer to be reckoned with.
Neat-O.
Speaking of dating, I'm starting a new blog just on dating and relationships at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com. I haven't really decided if its something I really want to promote (hence burying news of it's creation at the end of a random blog about Windsor) For now, it's going to be random ramblings and a way to get my thoughts in order as I put together a book version of 'Dating for Shy Guys.' If you're interested in such things, feel free to check it out and leave your comments.
Interestingly, I am referred to as a writer for the Windsor Star.
Nope.
In fact, I'd never heard of it.
I suspect that particular piece, which was a series of capsule reviews of a bunch of dating books on the market got picked up by other papers.
I guess I can add the Windsor Star to newspapers I've written for, even though I didn't know they existed.
It's still cool to see your name in print though. Clearly I'm a reviewer to be reckoned with.
Neat-O.
Speaking of dating, I'm starting a new blog just on dating and relationships at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com. I haven't really decided if its something I really want to promote (hence burying news of it's creation at the end of a random blog about Windsor) For now, it's going to be random ramblings and a way to get my thoughts in order as I put together a book version of 'Dating for Shy Guys.' If you're interested in such things, feel free to check it out and leave your comments.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Comedy Contest Tonight
--I'll be performing tonight in The Comic Strip's Last Comic Standing contest. Personally, I'm not a fan of comedy contests, but this one has a really solid line-up, so I encourage everyone to come down tonight and check it out.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Monday, July 07, 2008
new headLINES is up
Check it out here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
New Pair of Singles, New Living Article
My latest Living article, on Salsa dancing, is up here.
Latest Pair of Singles is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Latest Pair of Singles is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, July 8 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Canada Day
I enjoyed the Canada fireworks last night.
I don't think of myself as a 'crowd' person, but last night I had a good time. Kids were playing in the fountain; families were sitting together; teenagers were running around with their friends.
I don't know if the travelling I've done in the last year and a half or so has changed me, but I felt very comfortable and content.
Life, as always, remains good.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
I don't think of myself as a 'crowd' person, but last night I had a good time. Kids were playing in the fountain; families were sitting together; teenagers were running around with their friends.
I don't know if the travelling I've done in the last year and a half or so has changed me, but I felt very comfortable and content.
Life, as always, remains good.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Newest headLINES is up here.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Dan vs. the Express Bus, New Pair of Singles
New Pair of Singles is up here.
Why does a bus say "Express" if it is not an express bus? Three times I have inadvertently gotten on an "express" bus from downtown to WEM only to take a meandering crawl down Stony Plain road, loop through the various crescents of West Edmonton, a slow boat to China to pick up some Tibetan refugees, and finally to the mall.
The worst part is I keep forgetting the bus number so I can never remember which of the Express buses is an actual express and which is the Transit System's little practical joke on people who believe everything they read.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Why does a bus say "Express" if it is not an express bus? Three times I have inadvertently gotten on an "express" bus from downtown to WEM only to take a meandering crawl down Stony Plain road, loop through the various crescents of West Edmonton, a slow boat to China to pick up some Tibetan refugees, and finally to the mall.
The worst part is I keep forgetting the bus number so I can never remember which of the Express buses is an actual express and which is the Transit System's little practical joke on people who believe everything they read.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Monday, June 23, 2008
New headLINES and Comedy Observation
I never get bored with comedy. Probably the two things I love most are 1)Working out new jokes and 2) Discovering interesting things about human nature and crowd psychology. Crowds have their own personalities--each one is different and fascinating.
Last night was a great example of 2). ANDREW IWANYK was onstage doing what Andrew does. Partway through his set, he got bogged down and he handled the situation in spectacular fashion. It was funny, honest, and commited, and it's a place I hope to consistenly reach in my own performances.
The audience didn't know this, of course. The audience didn't know HOW to react to what they were seeing. But I was so delighted, I started clapping.
Here's the interesting thing.
As soon as I started clapping, everyone else joined in. I don't even think they realized why they were doing it. Even Andrew remarked: "I'm not sure what you're clapping for, but I'll take it."
I don't have any great comedy lesson from that moment. I just found it neat.
Anyway, here are this week's headLINES.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Last night was a great example of 2). ANDREW IWANYK was onstage doing what Andrew does. Partway through his set, he got bogged down and he handled the situation in spectacular fashion. It was funny, honest, and commited, and it's a place I hope to consistenly reach in my own performances.
The audience didn't know this, of course. The audience didn't know HOW to react to what they were seeing. But I was so delighted, I started clapping.
Here's the interesting thing.
As soon as I started clapping, everyone else joined in. I don't even think they realized why they were doing it. Even Andrew remarked: "I'm not sure what you're clapping for, but I'll take it."
I don't have any great comedy lesson from that moment. I just found it neat.
Anyway, here are this week's headLINES.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Rambling Thoughts (written Saturday)
The Slayer left today for Toronto. She will be gone for six months.
Watching the taxi pull out of the parking lot, I was 38% sadder than I expected to be. We had a good four months together.
I'm always amazed at the capacity to be surprised by my own emotions.
I like it.
It keeps things from getting predictable.
I don't know what the future holds, but in some ways, it makes me appreciate what we had that much more. As recently as a couple years ago, I never thought I would be in the position to have happy relationships.
Life is good.
Watching the taxi pull out of the parking lot, I was 38% sadder than I expected to be. We had a good four months together.
I'm always amazed at the capacity to be surprised by my own emotions.
I like it.
It keeps things from getting predictable.
I don't know what the future holds, but in some ways, it makes me appreciate what we had that much more. As recently as a couple years ago, I never thought I would be in the position to have happy relationships.
Life is good.
Dawn and Dan Go To A Strip Club and Pass Judgement on Naked Women
Those of you who read Pair of Singles regularly know how funny my co-writer Dawn Dumont is (and if you don't, head on over to read our latest article here.
But some of our funniest moments, no one will no about, because they don't get written down.
Last night, we took the Slayer to a strip club to celebrate her last night in town (it was her idea. My opinion of most strip clubs is already well documented. Here and here are a couple of examples.
That's where we learned that Dawn and I have very different tastes in our exotic dancers. Which would be fine except that it turned into a running argument that lasted into the wee hours of the morning as we deconstructed the strippers the way we look at comedy sets.
These lines probably won't be funny to everyone because they use some comedy insider terms. Also, you kind of had to be there--we were getting pretty into our arguments.
Here are some samples--not word for word, but you'll get the idea.
DAN: My stripper is killing.
DAWN: That's because my stripper warmed up the crowd. Besides, I bet she's been doing the same act for years. I saw that same pole move on TV five years ago.
DAN: She's athletic. She's got great stage presence.
DAWN: So you're saying she's the Dane Cook of strippers. My stripper is in it from the art. She doesn't have to resort to cheap pole tricks.
DAN: Your stripper is a hack. I was surprised she didn't ask if by applause there are any married people in the crowd tonight.
DAWN: Yeah, but how good would your stripper be doing if she wasn't selling posters. She's a prop act.
DAN: At least she stuck to her time. Yours was out there forever. The other strippers were in the back muttering to each other.
The capper though was when Dawn actuall overheard a stripper say.
STRIPPER: I'm going to try some new stuff tonight.
DAWN (through tears of laughter): Yeah, they seem like a good crowd.
DAN: Try one new bit and if the crowd's on board, keep going.
DAWN: She's brave, trying new stuff on a weekend. I would have worked it out on a Monday show first.
DAN: Yeah, but there's a pretty strong headliner following her.
You get the idea.
I'm hosting at The Comic Strip on Monday. See everybody there.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
But some of our funniest moments, no one will no about, because they don't get written down.
Last night, we took the Slayer to a strip club to celebrate her last night in town (it was her idea. My opinion of most strip clubs is already well documented. Here and here are a couple of examples.
That's where we learned that Dawn and I have very different tastes in our exotic dancers. Which would be fine except that it turned into a running argument that lasted into the wee hours of the morning as we deconstructed the strippers the way we look at comedy sets.
These lines probably won't be funny to everyone because they use some comedy insider terms. Also, you kind of had to be there--we were getting pretty into our arguments.
Here are some samples--not word for word, but you'll get the idea.
DAN: My stripper is killing.
DAWN: That's because my stripper warmed up the crowd. Besides, I bet she's been doing the same act for years. I saw that same pole move on TV five years ago.
DAN: She's athletic. She's got great stage presence.
DAWN: So you're saying she's the Dane Cook of strippers. My stripper is in it from the art. She doesn't have to resort to cheap pole tricks.
DAN: Your stripper is a hack. I was surprised she didn't ask if by applause there are any married people in the crowd tonight.
DAWN: Yeah, but how good would your stripper be doing if she wasn't selling posters. She's a prop act.
DAN: At least she stuck to her time. Yours was out there forever. The other strippers were in the back muttering to each other.
The capper though was when Dawn actuall overheard a stripper say.
STRIPPER: I'm going to try some new stuff tonight.
DAWN (through tears of laughter): Yeah, they seem like a good crowd.
DAN: Try one new bit and if the crowd's on board, keep going.
DAWN: She's brave, trying new stuff on a weekend. I would have worked it out on a Monday show first.
DAN: Yeah, but there's a pretty strong headliner following her.
You get the idea.
I'm hosting at The Comic Strip on Monday. See everybody there.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
New Pair of Singles, New headLINES
Pair of Singles is here.
headLINES is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
headLINES is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
New Pair of Singles is up
Check it out here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Monday, June 09, 2008
headLINES
headLINES is up here
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Traveller's Attitude
One of the fun things about travelling is it makes you appreciate home more.
I think there is a traveller's attitude: Being willing to explore and not taking things for granted.
But you don't have to go anywhere to experience it.
The other day I went for a walk around my neighbourhood and realized there are a lot of things around the area I've never paid attention to before.
The Slayer and I ended up stopping into a bar. It looked like a dive--and it WAS a dive, but there was a cool mural in the back in front of the bathrooms. Also, the bartender was a really cool-looking person.
I'm glad I took the time to see that. It's a small thing, but if there's one thing I believe, it's that small things are important.
I think there is a traveller's attitude: Being willing to explore and not taking things for granted.
But you don't have to go anywhere to experience it.
The other day I went for a walk around my neighbourhood and realized there are a lot of things around the area I've never paid attention to before.
The Slayer and I ended up stopping into a bar. It looked like a dive--and it WAS a dive, but there was a cool mural in the back in front of the bathrooms. Also, the bartender was a really cool-looking person.
I'm glad I took the time to see that. It's a small thing, but if there's one thing I believe, it's that small things are important.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Pair of Singles
Latest Pair of Singles is up here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Monday, June 02, 2008
The ToothPaste Incident (and other notes from Montreal)
I like to be prepared when I travel.
So when Lars Callieou told me about how he lost his luggage on a flight to New York, I adjusted my packing accordingly for my Montreal trip, moving a change of clothes, a tube of toothpaste, and my deodorant into my onboard luggage from my checked bags.
I was very proud of my foresight...right up to the moment I ran into airport security.
They confiscated my toothpaste!!
Unbelievable. Apparently, you are only allowed liquids and gels that are less than 100ml. For security reasons.
I'm all for security at airports, and I don't know much about this stuff. Maybe it's possible to hide explosive gel in a toothpaste tube. I watch a lot of spy movies so I'm willing to believe anything.
They're the security experts. They know more than me. I was ticked I was going to have to spring for a new tube of toothpaste (that one was almost full)out of my drinking money, but I'm willing to be a good citizen for the sake of national security.
However, the next thing that happened, made me wonder if our crack airline security might not be as great as we think they are.
They let my deodorant through...so long as it was sealed in a plastic bag.
Two comments.
1 - Would a person clever enough to turn Old Spice into a weapon of mass destruction would be fooled by ziploc?
2 - The reason my deodorant got through was allegedly because it was "less than 100 ml." But it WASN'T less than 100ml. It was bigger than the toothpaste. All you had to do was look at it to know it was too big.
But they let it through. Because it said 85 on the side.
85 grams.
If the people keeping safe the friendly skies cannot tell the difference between a unit of weight and a unit of volume...I'm not sure I feel so safe anymore.
Other notes from my trip...
-Now that I've performed in Montreal and Vancouver, I can officially have myself introduced by the MC as having "performed all over this great country of ours." Now all I need is a show in Halifax or St. Johns and I'll have been "entertaining people from coast to coast."
-Ever want to know what Grand Theft Auto would feel like live? Take a cab from the Montreal airport to the hotel. It was exhilirating and terrifying at the same time.
-There are a lot of strip clubs and churches in Montreal. It's like heaven and hell on the same block. One strip club was two doors down from a dance studio, which I thought was hilarious. They go to school and then they can go three doors down to apply for a job. Studio Octopussy must be the only strip club in teh world where the dancers shake their booty a pointe, French-style.
-As well as being fashionable, most Montrealers are very friendly once they get over the initial shock of being talked to by a stranger. I met a lot of cool people. It was also fun being able to speak French again although one of my language gaffes will make into the next edition of "Things You Only Hear in Bars."
So when Lars Callieou told me about how he lost his luggage on a flight to New York, I adjusted my packing accordingly for my Montreal trip, moving a change of clothes, a tube of toothpaste, and my deodorant into my onboard luggage from my checked bags.
I was very proud of my foresight...right up to the moment I ran into airport security.
They confiscated my toothpaste!!
Unbelievable. Apparently, you are only allowed liquids and gels that are less than 100ml. For security reasons.
I'm all for security at airports, and I don't know much about this stuff. Maybe it's possible to hide explosive gel in a toothpaste tube. I watch a lot of spy movies so I'm willing to believe anything.
They're the security experts. They know more than me. I was ticked I was going to have to spring for a new tube of toothpaste (that one was almost full)out of my drinking money, but I'm willing to be a good citizen for the sake of national security.
However, the next thing that happened, made me wonder if our crack airline security might not be as great as we think they are.
They let my deodorant through...so long as it was sealed in a plastic bag.
Two comments.
1 - Would a person clever enough to turn Old Spice into a weapon of mass destruction would be fooled by ziploc?
2 - The reason my deodorant got through was allegedly because it was "less than 100 ml." But it WASN'T less than 100ml. It was bigger than the toothpaste. All you had to do was look at it to know it was too big.
But they let it through. Because it said 85 on the side.
85 grams.
If the people keeping safe the friendly skies cannot tell the difference between a unit of weight and a unit of volume...I'm not sure I feel so safe anymore.
Other notes from my trip...
-Now that I've performed in Montreal and Vancouver, I can officially have myself introduced by the MC as having "performed all over this great country of ours." Now all I need is a show in Halifax or St. Johns and I'll have been "entertaining people from coast to coast."
-Ever want to know what Grand Theft Auto would feel like live? Take a cab from the Montreal airport to the hotel. It was exhilirating and terrifying at the same time.
-There are a lot of strip clubs and churches in Montreal. It's like heaven and hell on the same block. One strip club was two doors down from a dance studio, which I thought was hilarious. They go to school and then they can go three doors down to apply for a job. Studio Octopussy must be the only strip club in teh world where the dancers shake their booty a pointe, French-style.
-As well as being fashionable, most Montrealers are very friendly once they get over the initial shock of being talked to by a stranger. I met a lot of cool people. It was also fun being able to speak French again although one of my language gaffes will make into the next edition of "Things You Only Hear in Bars."
Dan Returns Home (Also: Latest headLINES is up)
I'm back from Montreal. I reached my sister's ("don't worry, I'll leave the back door unlocked") at midnight last night.
The back door was not unlocked.
Chaos ensued.
I will write more about Montreal once I get some sleep.
In the meantime, Check out the latest headLINES.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
The back door was not unlocked.
Chaos ensued.
I will write more about Montreal once I get some sleep.
In the meantime, Check out the latest headLINES.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.
Friday, May 30, 2008
New Living article and Updates from Montreal
Greetings from downtown Montreal. Let's get the self-promotion out of the way first...
Latest Living article is up here. It's on the sport of curling. What better time than late May for a curling article?
There are also rumours that the Pair of Singles column will be going weekly as of June 5. The current article is here.
Montreal is a beautiful city and everyone here is very well dressed. I saw a woman who had matched her neck kerchief to her shoelaces.
I did a guest spot at the Comedy Works. The show was all right, but I especially enjoyed watching the headliner Darryl Lenox (whose name I had to spellcheck three times to find the correct amount of 'r's in 'Darryl' and 'n's in 'Lennox')I really enjoyed his casual vibe on stage and the fact he takes his subjects in a different direction that you'd expect.
In other news, I am pleased to report that, so far at least, I have not mistaken any women for whores.
Take care, everybody.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Latest Living article is up here. It's on the sport of curling. What better time than late May for a curling article?
There are also rumours that the Pair of Singles column will be going weekly as of June 5. The current article is here.
Montreal is a beautiful city and everyone here is very well dressed. I saw a woman who had matched her neck kerchief to her shoelaces.
I did a guest spot at the Comedy Works. The show was all right, but I especially enjoyed watching the headliner Darryl Lenox (whose name I had to spellcheck three times to find the correct amount of 'r's in 'Darryl' and 'n's in 'Lennox')I really enjoyed his casual vibe on stage and the fact he takes his subjects in a different direction that you'd expect.
In other news, I am pleased to report that, so far at least, I have not mistaken any women for whores.
Take care, everybody.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Things You Only Hear in Bars (Part 3) Plus BONUS Fun Songs
Just a quick version as I'm off to Montreal.
RANDOM WOMAN: I've matured. I don't f*** guys in bathrooms anymore.
Fun Song #1
WOMAN: I can't dance.
DAN: Can't is a four-letter word.
WOMAN: No it's not. Can't is a FIVE letter word. C-A-N-T-E...can't.
DAN: It's a good thing you're pretty.
Fun Song #2
DRUNK GUY #1: I'm T-Mac!
DRUNK GUY #2: I'm T-Roy.
DAN: So, which of you is T-Bag?
DRUNK #1: Yeahhhh, T-Bag! You're T-Bag!
DAN: I don't want to be T-Bag. Can't I be T-Bone?
DRUNK GUYS 1&2: T-BAG! T-BAG!!
DAN: I wish I hadn't said anything.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
RANDOM WOMAN: I've matured. I don't f*** guys in bathrooms anymore.
Fun Song #1
WOMAN: I can't dance.
DAN: Can't is a four-letter word.
WOMAN: No it's not. Can't is a FIVE letter word. C-A-N-T-E...can't.
DAN: It's a good thing you're pretty.
Fun Song #2
DRUNK GUY #1: I'm T-Mac!
DRUNK GUY #2: I'm T-Roy.
DAN: So, which of you is T-Bag?
DRUNK #1: Yeahhhh, T-Bag! You're T-Bag!
DAN: I don't want to be T-Bag. Can't I be T-Bone?
DRUNK GUYS 1&2: T-BAG! T-BAG!!
DAN: I wish I hadn't said anything.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Monday, May 26, 2008
headLINES and a quick story
Walking through the mall, I saw an attractive woman.
DAN: Hi, how's it going?
WOMAN: Great. Are you rich?
DAN'S BRAIN: Holy crap! There's prostitutes in the mall! That's incredible!
DAN: Uh, no, sorry.
WOMAN: I thought you were the guy I was meeting.
DAN: Wasn't me. Good luck finding a rich guy.
It was only when I was walking away that I realized she was probably on a blind date waiting for a guy named Rich.
Oops.
Here's headLINES
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
DAN: Hi, how's it going?
WOMAN: Great. Are you rich?
DAN'S BRAIN: Holy crap! There's prostitutes in the mall! That's incredible!
DAN: Uh, no, sorry.
WOMAN: I thought you were the guy I was meeting.
DAN: Wasn't me. Good luck finding a rich guy.
It was only when I was walking away that I realized she was probably on a blind date waiting for a guy named Rich.
Oops.
Here's headLINES
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
The Loudest Slayer In The World
I'm going to Montreal next week. I'm very excited.
I took the Slayer to a basketball game last night. Did you know Edmonton has a pro basketball team?
Me neither. But it was fun.
During one time-out, then announcer declared there would be a prize for a free dinner for the loudest fan in the arena.
DAN'S BRAIN: The Slayer is going to win this one.
Sure enough, The Slayer was on her feet, banging her thundersticks and shrieking and jumping around.
ANNOUNCER: I'm saying who can be the loudest, most annoying person in here?!?!
The Slayer redoubled her efforts, jumping around and screaming.
I had complete faith in the Slayer's ability to be loud and annoying, but I decided to help out a little.
While she jumped around and shrieked and made a spectacle of herself, I pointed at her with one hand, covered my ears with the other, put the same annoyed and exasperated expression on my face that I used as an announcer for Steve Rivers' ring entrance, caught the announcer's eye and looked at him with a pleading look that said "Please, man. Make her stop."
We're going to dinner next week.
Life is good.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
I took the Slayer to a basketball game last night. Did you know Edmonton has a pro basketball team?
Me neither. But it was fun.
During one time-out, then announcer declared there would be a prize for a free dinner for the loudest fan in the arena.
DAN'S BRAIN: The Slayer is going to win this one.
Sure enough, The Slayer was on her feet, banging her thundersticks and shrieking and jumping around.
ANNOUNCER: I'm saying who can be the loudest, most annoying person in here?!?!
The Slayer redoubled her efforts, jumping around and screaming.
I had complete faith in the Slayer's ability to be loud and annoying, but I decided to help out a little.
While she jumped around and shrieked and made a spectacle of herself, I pointed at her with one hand, covered my ears with the other, put the same annoyed and exasperated expression on my face that I used as an announcer for Steve Rivers' ring entrance, caught the announcer's eye and looked at him with a pleading look that said "Please, man. Make her stop."
We're going to dinner next week.
Life is good.
Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
New Pair of Singles is up
Check it out here.
I can't believe I wrote an article about Sex and the City.
I must shower.
Looking forward to reading your comments, which you can leave below the article.
I can't believe I wrote an article about Sex and the City.
I must shower.
Looking forward to reading your comments, which you can leave below the article.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
headLINES, Dating Night.
New headLINES is up.
Also, Dan and Dawn's dating night is tonight. Show starts at 8pm. Tickets are twelve dollars.
Hope to see you there.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Also, Dan and Dawn's dating night is tonight. Show starts at 8pm. Tickets are twelve dollars.
Hope to see you there.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Where Do You Get Your Ideas? (New Living Article)
Actually, it's all done through outsourcing. I got a guy in India who does nothing but ideas all day long.
Here's the latest Living Article
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Here's the latest Living Article
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
headLINES
New headLINES is up here.
As well, here are some links to some things I've enjoyed recently.
James Ball introduced me to this link, which I think is hilarious. I wish I'd thought of the concept myself.
As well, here's one of the best hockey articles I've ever read. Simmons captured exactly what it feels like to be a former hockey fan disillusioned by the direction the NHL took in the nineties and early 00s.
As well, here are some links to some things I've enjoyed recently.
James Ball introduced me to this link, which I think is hilarious. I wish I'd thought of the concept myself.
As well, here's one of the best hockey articles I've ever read. Simmons captured exactly what it feels like to be a former hockey fan disillusioned by the direction the NHL took in the nineties and early 00s.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
If you don't like wrestling (or basketball) you might as well not read this entry
Went to the Monster Pro Wrestling show last night. Four things of note.
1 - They have a new 'submissions division' that uses a system of rounds and is more MMA in style. WILLY SAINT and TAYLOR STONE {I think--someone may have to correct me on the name) were the first to show what they could do with the new rules and it was really cool.
2 - A new heel named Tyler debuted. Great stuff. He got the heel heat of the night. Everyone hated him.
3 - Speaking of heels...the most hated man in MPW history, Steve Rivers actually wrestled is match as a babyface. It was bizarro world seeing people cheer him. I've never seen a crowd get behind him before.
The interesting thing was, there was no 'storyline' reason for people to get behind Rivers, which made it more amazing to me. He didn't save any of the other babyfaces or redeem himself. He just went out there and wrestled a 'good guy style' and people bought it.
It makes me respect Rivers that much more. Watching him also made me realize that there is more to being a good guy or bad guy than just telling the fans you're a good guy or bad guy. So much of it comes through in your body language and facial expressions. Though I've never been in the ring, I've heard lots of wrestlers talk about what a good worker Steve is, but as a fan what sets him a part is the way he can use his face and body language to get across his personality and the story of a match.
4 - Also, El Nino wrestled his last match tonight, working through a blown-out knee. El Nino has been a part of MPW since I started watching it, and though he was rarely in the main event spot, his dedication was a huge part of MPW.
I will miss him.
On an unrelated note, I'm also really enjoying the Spurs-Hornets NBA playoff series. I've always loved the way San Antonio plays as a team. I hadn't seen New Orleans play, and I'm impressed. They're for real.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
1 - They have a new 'submissions division' that uses a system of rounds and is more MMA in style. WILLY SAINT and TAYLOR STONE {I think--someone may have to correct me on the name) were the first to show what they could do with the new rules and it was really cool.
2 - A new heel named Tyler debuted. Great stuff. He got the heel heat of the night. Everyone hated him.
3 - Speaking of heels...the most hated man in MPW history, Steve Rivers actually wrestled is match as a babyface. It was bizarro world seeing people cheer him. I've never seen a crowd get behind him before.
The interesting thing was, there was no 'storyline' reason for people to get behind Rivers, which made it more amazing to me. He didn't save any of the other babyfaces or redeem himself. He just went out there and wrestled a 'good guy style' and people bought it.
It makes me respect Rivers that much more. Watching him also made me realize that there is more to being a good guy or bad guy than just telling the fans you're a good guy or bad guy. So much of it comes through in your body language and facial expressions. Though I've never been in the ring, I've heard lots of wrestlers talk about what a good worker Steve is, but as a fan what sets him a part is the way he can use his face and body language to get across his personality and the story of a match.
4 - Also, El Nino wrestled his last match tonight, working through a blown-out knee. El Nino has been a part of MPW since I started watching it, and though he was rarely in the main event spot, his dedication was a huge part of MPW.
I will miss him.
On an unrelated note, I'm also really enjoying the Spurs-Hornets NBA playoff series. I've always loved the way San Antonio plays as a team. I hadn't seen New Orleans play, and I'm impressed. They're for real.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Updates--including latest Pair of Singles, headLINES
Dawn and I have a massive two-part Pair of Singles FAQ up. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here.
As well, headLINES is up
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
As well, headLINES is up
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Dan Talks Good
THE SLAYER: For a writer, your vocabulary is missing some words.
DAN: I don't know what you're making mouth sounds about.
DAN: I don't know what you're making mouth sounds about.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Dan Keeps His Mouth Shut...kind of
The reason for the lack of updates is I had a Story happen the last couple days.
It's a car crash story(*)...so awful it's compelling, and nobody comes out of it looking good.
I really really really really want to tell it.
But I won't. Not yet, anyway.
I don't mind making myself look bad, but a couple of the other people involved...well, I won't say they DESERVE better, but I don't believe in writing sh*t about people who can be identified...especially private citizens (as opposed to comedians, musicians, and wrestlers who love seeing their name in print). Bad Karma.
Besides, in a weird sort of way, I'm grateful to them. If not for them, I wouldn't have this story, so I'll respect their privacy.
Not only that, I really believe their hearts are in the right place and the last thing I want to do is embarass anybody.
I still think it's a good story though. Which is why it kills me not to tell it.
I'll give it some time, change some details, and the story will come out once enough weeks have passed I don't think anyone will be able to identify the parties involved.
Fortunately, Lurch was kind enough to give me permission to tell one of his latest adventures. For background information on Lurch, click here.
For those of you who are too lazy to click the link, here's the nutshell version. Lurch is a guy I know who has super-powers when it comes to attracting women to him only to be thwarted by fate at the moment of truth.
Here's Lurch with the details:
LURCH'S STORY: THE TRIALS OF SISYPHUS CONTINUE
"It started like any other night. I meet this girl, she's good to go. I'm like, 'hey, I'll give you a ride home.'
It turned out, she lived in the middle of nowhere.
I'm like, "Who's your neighbour, the Blair Witch?"
But whatever. I'm thinking, 'who cares. It's So on. I'm going to get laid FOR SURE. There is no way this cannot happen."
I got to her place. There's another car parked out front.
I'm like, "oh, you got a room-mate?"
She goes, "No. I live with my dad. He's a cop."
She hands me twenty bucks, says 'thanks for the ride,' and just like that, she's gone."
The Trials of Sisyphus continue.
(*)Metaphorically. No real cars were harmed.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, May 5 - The Comic Strip
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
It's a car crash story(*)...so awful it's compelling, and nobody comes out of it looking good.
I really really really really want to tell it.
But I won't. Not yet, anyway.
I don't mind making myself look bad, but a couple of the other people involved...well, I won't say they DESERVE better, but I don't believe in writing sh*t about people who can be identified...especially private citizens (as opposed to comedians, musicians, and wrestlers who love seeing their name in print). Bad Karma.
Besides, in a weird sort of way, I'm grateful to them. If not for them, I wouldn't have this story, so I'll respect their privacy.
Not only that, I really believe their hearts are in the right place and the last thing I want to do is embarass anybody.
I still think it's a good story though. Which is why it kills me not to tell it.
I'll give it some time, change some details, and the story will come out once enough weeks have passed I don't think anyone will be able to identify the parties involved.
Fortunately, Lurch was kind enough to give me permission to tell one of his latest adventures. For background information on Lurch, click here.
For those of you who are too lazy to click the link, here's the nutshell version. Lurch is a guy I know who has super-powers when it comes to attracting women to him only to be thwarted by fate at the moment of truth.
Here's Lurch with the details:
LURCH'S STORY: THE TRIALS OF SISYPHUS CONTINUE
"It started like any other night. I meet this girl, she's good to go. I'm like, 'hey, I'll give you a ride home.'
It turned out, she lived in the middle of nowhere.
I'm like, "Who's your neighbour, the Blair Witch?"
But whatever. I'm thinking, 'who cares. It's So on. I'm going to get laid FOR SURE. There is no way this cannot happen."
I got to her place. There's another car parked out front.
I'm like, "oh, you got a room-mate?"
She goes, "No. I live with my dad. He's a cop."
She hands me twenty bucks, says 'thanks for the ride,' and just like that, she's gone."
The Trials of Sisyphus continue.
(*)Metaphorically. No real cars were harmed.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, May 5 - The Comic Strip
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Complete Updates
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, May 5 - The Ccomic Strip
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Latest Pair of Singles is up
Check it out here.
The next singles night at the Comic Strip will be May 20. We'll announce more details soon.
The next singles night at the Comic Strip will be May 20. We'll announce more details soon.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Dan Thanks People
I think it's interesting that I can have a cough, but then go onstage and it disappears completely. And then when I get offstage it comes back with a vengeance to the point I can't sleep that night.
The human body is a marvelous machine.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who came out last night. I was pretty nervous, so I appreciate everyone's support. While I'm at it, I should thank Dawn and Dino for their help putting the show together and Larissa for the 7UP. Nothing drowns last minute panic like soft drinks. And Zam for his musical choice and getting all the sound cues right.
Thanks are a slippery slope. Because if I thank them, then I also should thank Lars and Powermann for having me on their show to promote the dating night and Steve McCarthy for encouraging me to start comedy in the first place and The Slayer for her support and Andrew Iwanyk and Angie Ismond for proving that introverts can be funny and my parents for having me and so on down the line.
Even then I'd probably forget someone.
So here's a general thanks to everyone who has ever been a part of my personal or professional life I couldn't have done it (whatever "it" is) without you.
Gracias. Much love.
Dan
The human body is a marvelous machine.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who came out last night. I was pretty nervous, so I appreciate everyone's support. While I'm at it, I should thank Dawn and Dino for their help putting the show together and Larissa for the 7UP. Nothing drowns last minute panic like soft drinks. And Zam for his musical choice and getting all the sound cues right.
Thanks are a slippery slope. Because if I thank them, then I also should thank Lars and Powermann for having me on their show to promote the dating night and Steve McCarthy for encouraging me to start comedy in the first place and The Slayer for her support and Andrew Iwanyk and Angie Ismond for proving that introverts can be funny and my parents for having me and so on down the line.
Even then I'd probably forget someone.
So here's a general thanks to everyone who has ever been a part of my personal or professional life I couldn't have done it (whatever "it" is) without you.
Gracias. Much love.
Dan
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
New headLINES, singles night.
New headLINES is up here
As well, Dawn and I are hosting our first singles night at The Comic Strip in WEM tonight. Show starts at 8pm.
On Friday I got to see DESOUSA DRIVE, my friend Victor's band. Victor and I were in a band together many years ago called Sweet Alibi. In fact, all the original members of Sweet Alibi were out on Friday, even though Vic is the only one still playing (though the drummer Dan Jean has been known to fill in for a gig or two).
Above is a pic of the Sweet Alibi "reunion." (from L to R: Tim, me, Victor, and Dan J)
I wish I'd known I was taking pictures. I would have worn nicer pants.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
As well, Dawn and I are hosting our first singles night at The Comic Strip in WEM tonight. Show starts at 8pm.
On Friday I got to see DESOUSA DRIVE, my friend Victor's band. Victor and I were in a band together many years ago called Sweet Alibi. In fact, all the original members of Sweet Alibi were out on Friday, even though Vic is the only one still playing (though the drummer Dan Jean has been known to fill in for a gig or two).
Above is a pic of the Sweet Alibi "reunion." (from L to R: Tim, me, Victor, and Dan J)
I wish I'd known I was taking pictures. I would have worn nicer pants.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Friday, April 18, 2008
The Great Radio Controversy (and a new Living article)
I should have known SOMETHING would have happened on my Kamikaze Komedy Radio appearance (promoting singles night, hosted by myself and Dawn Dumont April 22 at The Comic Strip), but it really wasn't what I expected.
Before I get to that, allow me to present my latest Living article here. It's on the perils of Facebook. As some of you may recall, I've been active on this issue for some time.
In fact, while we're at it, let's get the updates out of the way...
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Where was I?
Oh yeah. On the radio. The show, hosted by Lars and Powermann was fun, but even my one-thirty in the morning relationship "wisdom" was undercut by possibly the greatest caller question I've ever heard.
The question was...
Wait for it...
"Where am I?"
Unbelievable. A guy called the radio station because he was lost. Powermann, Lars, and I kept looking at each other, our eyes silently asking the same question: Is this really f***ing happening?
What makes it slightly funnier is that he picked the exact wrong people to call as far as orienteering goes. Powermann and I have always depended on the kindness of the Edmonton Transit System to get from place to place (Powermann has a really funny joke about this) and Lars' sense of direction...well, it isn't as bad as Andrew Grose's, but I wouldn't want to get lost in the woods with him.
(In fairness to Lars, he gave me a ride home after the show. The show ended at 2:00am, and I stepped into my apartment at 2:08. So his sense of direction may not always be 100%, but for sheer velocity, he's unstoppable. And I've never seen him late for a show either)
Anyway, with Lars and I paralyzed with disbelief, it fell upon Powermann to carry the day. Being the helpful guy he is, he immediately did what any good samaritan would do...attempted to have phone sex with the guy's date on the air.
Good times.
A couple of the other best exchanges took place off the air as Powermann continued to harangue me about dating...well, dating him (This will make more sense if you read this post first).
POWERMANN: So, when you have romantic congress, is that like co-middling?
ME: No, because I do more time before I get off and she doesn't die every night.
Actually, that still won't make any sense to any non-comedian. Another inside comedy joke happened when a caller called in and Lars gave him 45 seconds to make his point.
He did it in 34 (Powermann was timing) leading to the following exchange.
DAN: Hey, he finished with eleven seconds to spare.
POWERMANN: No, that's bad. He didn't do his time.
LARS: Now we have to cover that eleven seconds.
OTHER RANDOM STUFF
I've re-exploring my childhood lately. A couple nights ago I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (featuring the video and the band that got me into heavy metal).
I also started re-reading Animals, but John Skipp and Craig Spector. It's a great book about werewolves, bad decisions, and romantic entanglements, and it's interesting how I relate to it much better now that I'm a little older and have more life experience under my belt (well, except for the being a werewolf part).
Have a great weekend everyone
Before I get to that, allow me to present my latest Living article here. It's on the perils of Facebook. As some of you may recall, I've been active on this issue for some time.
In fact, while we're at it, let's get the updates out of the way...
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Where was I?
Oh yeah. On the radio. The show, hosted by Lars and Powermann was fun, but even my one-thirty in the morning relationship "wisdom" was undercut by possibly the greatest caller question I've ever heard.
The question was...
Wait for it...
"Where am I?"
Unbelievable. A guy called the radio station because he was lost. Powermann, Lars, and I kept looking at each other, our eyes silently asking the same question: Is this really f***ing happening?
What makes it slightly funnier is that he picked the exact wrong people to call as far as orienteering goes. Powermann and I have always depended on the kindness of the Edmonton Transit System to get from place to place (Powermann has a really funny joke about this) and Lars' sense of direction...well, it isn't as bad as Andrew Grose's, but I wouldn't want to get lost in the woods with him.
(In fairness to Lars, he gave me a ride home after the show. The show ended at 2:00am, and I stepped into my apartment at 2:08. So his sense of direction may not always be 100%, but for sheer velocity, he's unstoppable. And I've never seen him late for a show either)
Anyway, with Lars and I paralyzed with disbelief, it fell upon Powermann to carry the day. Being the helpful guy he is, he immediately did what any good samaritan would do...attempted to have phone sex with the guy's date on the air.
Good times.
A couple of the other best exchanges took place off the air as Powermann continued to harangue me about dating...well, dating him (This will make more sense if you read this post first).
POWERMANN: So, when you have romantic congress, is that like co-middling?
ME: No, because I do more time before I get off and she doesn't die every night.
Actually, that still won't make any sense to any non-comedian. Another inside comedy joke happened when a caller called in and Lars gave him 45 seconds to make his point.
He did it in 34 (Powermann was timing) leading to the following exchange.
DAN: Hey, he finished with eleven seconds to spare.
POWERMANN: No, that's bad. He didn't do his time.
LARS: Now we have to cover that eleven seconds.
OTHER RANDOM STUFF
I've re-exploring my childhood lately. A couple nights ago I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (featuring the video and the band that got me into heavy metal).
I also started re-reading Animals, but John Skipp and Craig Spector. It's a great book about werewolves, bad decisions, and romantic entanglements, and it's interesting how I relate to it much better now that I'm a little older and have more life experience under my belt (well, except for the being a werewolf part).
Have a great weekend everyone
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Dan on Kamikaze Komedy
I'm excited to announce that I'll be a guest on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR FM 88.5 tomorrow night from midnight-2am.
The hosts, Lars and Powermann, have done a lot for the Edmonton comedy community and for me personally, as well, so I'm looking forward to being on the show.
I hope you'll check it out. I'm a notoriously bad interview, so if nothing else, it should be worth listening to for the disaster potential alone.
The hosts, Lars and Powermann, have done a lot for the Edmonton comedy community and for me personally, as well, so I'm looking forward to being on the show.
I hope you'll check it out. I'm a notoriously bad interview, so if nothing else, it should be worth listening to for the disaster potential alone.
Monday, April 14, 2008
new headLINES
New headLINES is up
I finished my 100 jokes at 10:53 last night.
Looking over them today, only half of them look useable, and even some of those will need a polish. Still, it was an interesting experiment. It taught me a lot about the way I write and I enjoy pushing my limits.
Time to find new challenge for myself. Making my bed every day, maybe.
Nah. I want challenging, not impossible.
I finished my 100 jokes at 10:53 last night.
Looking over them today, only half of them look useable, and even some of those will need a polish. Still, it was an interesting experiment. It taught me a lot about the way I write and I enjoy pushing my limits.
Time to find new challenge for myself. Making my bed every day, maybe.
Nah. I want challenging, not impossible.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Protest
It was a gorgeous day yesterday.
I saw not one, but two protest marches. It looked like fun.
I want to be in a protest.
Do you need to have a cause or do they put you on a list and you can just show up?
18 jokes to go.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Friday, April 18
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
I saw not one, but two protest marches. It looked like fun.
I want to be in a protest.
Do you need to have a cause or do they put you on a list and you can just show up?
18 jokes to go.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Friday, April 18
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Memo to Self
Absinthe mixed with energy drinks tastes great, but it's not a good idea. Not only was I unable to sleep after, I didn't even get to enjoy hallucinations. Stupid fake-absinthe.
Went out last night with PRETTYBOY, BUBBA and a guy I'll call FERGIE. PrettyBoy is cool. He's also my fashion saviour. He lent me a belt to wear to keep my pants from falling down and reminded me that apparently, you're supposed to get your entire face when you shave. The most embarassing part is, it isn't the first time.
When I'm famous, I'm definitely going to make, leaving your right jawline unshaven the new trend.
You ever hear the expression "We leave no man behind?"
Last night, every man got left behind. The rest of the crew got picked off like characters in a horror movie: Bubba stayed behind to talk to the DJ; Fergie managed to vanish into the phantom zone between the stairs leading to the coat check and the club exit; and the last I saw of PrettyBoy, he was running down Jasper Avenue towards an after hours club with his blazer flapping behind him.
Good times.
Went out last night with PRETTYBOY, BUBBA and a guy I'll call FERGIE. PrettyBoy is cool. He's also my fashion saviour. He lent me a belt to wear to keep my pants from falling down and reminded me that apparently, you're supposed to get your entire face when you shave. The most embarassing part is, it isn't the first time.
When I'm famous, I'm definitely going to make, leaving your right jawline unshaven the new trend.
You ever hear the expression "We leave no man behind?"
Last night, every man got left behind. The rest of the crew got picked off like characters in a horror movie: Bubba stayed behind to talk to the DJ; Fergie managed to vanish into the phantom zone between the stairs leading to the coat check and the club exit; and the last I saw of PrettyBoy, he was running down Jasper Avenue towards an after hours club with his blazer flapping behind him.
Good times.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Zen and Humour
I went to my first Zen sitting last night. It was fun. My feet fell asleep.
Before the sitting, the head zen guy (don't ask me what they call themselves) gave a little speech on humour. It wasn't funny.
I guess zen teachers know as much about humour as stand-up comics do about mediation.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Friday, April 18
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
Before the sitting, the head zen guy (don't ask me what they call themselves) gave a little speech on humour. It wasn't funny.
I guess zen teachers know as much about humour as stand-up comics do about mediation.
Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Friday, April 18
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
new Pair of Singles
New Pair of Singles is up.
Check it out here
I got an unpaid guest spot at the Comic Strip last night. I broke my resolution and did some old material. But I did get a lot of the new stuff in, and I'm encouraged by the results. It felt so good to be working with a majority of new stuff. It made the show so much fun. Even the old stuff felt fresh because of the new jokes working around it.
Comedy is fun.
Check it out here
I got an unpaid guest spot at the Comic Strip last night. I broke my resolution and did some old material. But I did get a lot of the new stuff in, and I'm encouraged by the results. It felt so good to be working with a majority of new stuff. It made the show so much fun. Even the old stuff felt fresh because of the new jokes working around it.
Comedy is fun.
Monday, April 07, 2008
100 Plus New headLINES
100 Bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottles of beeer.
If you're wondering why that song is in my head, I'll let you know.
Right after I plug headLINES.
I've decided I'm going to write 100 new jokes this week. I started at midnight last night/Monday morning and have until midnight Sunday.
It is currently 3:40 monday afternoon and I have 96 jokes to go. 96 bottles of mirth on the wall.
This is going to be an adventure.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Friday, April 18
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
If you're wondering why that song is in my head, I'll let you know.
Right after I plug headLINES.
I've decided I'm going to write 100 new jokes this week. I started at midnight last night/Monday morning and have until midnight Sunday.
It is currently 3:40 monday afternoon and I have 96 jokes to go. 96 bottles of mirth on the wall.
This is going to be an adventure.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here)
Friday, April 18
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
Friday, April 04, 2008
For the Record (The Annotated Holy Diver)
For the record, in today's column, I reference the song Holy Diver. A great song, with horrible lyrics.
I'll prove it.
Here's the video.
And here are the lyrics, which are among the stupidest in recorded history.
HOLY DIVER
by Ronnie James Dio
Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea[1]
Oh what's becoming of me? [2]
Ride the tiger [3]
You can see his stripes [4] but you know he's clean [5]
Oh don't you see what I mean [6]
Gotta get away [7]
Holy Diver
Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue [8]
Something is coming for you
Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light [9]
Oh we will pray it's all right
Gotta get away-get away
Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel [10]
The vision never dies [11]
Life's a never ending wheel [12]
Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade [13]
No need to look so afraid [14]
Jump on the tiger [15]
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean [16]
Some light can never be seen
[1] So far so good, I guess. The song is about a diver in the midnight sea.
[2] Huh? What do you mean, "what's becoming of me?" The opening lines referred to "you." How did we get to first person?
[3] And this tiger, is it also down in the midnight sea? How does one ride a tiger underwater?
[4] The Diver may be Holy, but he isn't blind.
[5] Naturally. The midnight sea is an excellent cleanser. Although why you would care about the tiger's cleaniness is beyond me. Also, how does the word 'but' make any sense. Shouldn't it be "you can see his stripes SO you know he's clean?"
[6] Sorry, RJ. I'm lost.
[7] Who's gotta get away? And now that I think about it, what the f**k is a Holy Diver?
[8] I'm not touching this one
[9] Hide in the sun? Are we still underwater? Or are we riding the tiger? Also, I would suspect, it's pretty easy to see the light if you're hiding in the sun. For the billionth of a second it takes before you go blind, anyway. Also, there's no racing for the morning in the sun. The sun IS the morning.
[10] WTF?
[11] Ronnie James Dio: I don't care if it's nonsense, I need a word that rhymes with "lies"
[12] Ditto for "steel." Let's make it profound nonsense.
[13] What's he dressed up as? Either that or this word does not mean what Ronnie James Dio thinks it means.
[14] Perhaps his Holiness has a fear of masquerade stardom
[15] I wouldn't, if I were you.
[16] See [10] above
[17] Maybe we've been blinded from hiding in the sun.
I'll prove it.
Here's the video.
And here are the lyrics, which are among the stupidest in recorded history.
HOLY DIVER
by Ronnie James Dio
Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea[1]
Oh what's becoming of me? [2]
Ride the tiger [3]
You can see his stripes [4] but you know he's clean [5]
Oh don't you see what I mean [6]
Gotta get away [7]
Holy Diver
Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue [8]
Something is coming for you
Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light [9]
Oh we will pray it's all right
Gotta get away-get away
Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel [10]
The vision never dies [11]
Life's a never ending wheel [12]
Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade [13]
No need to look so afraid [14]
Jump on the tiger [15]
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean [16]
Some light can never be seen
[1] So far so good, I guess. The song is about a diver in the midnight sea.
[2] Huh? What do you mean, "what's becoming of me?" The opening lines referred to "you." How did we get to first person?
[3] And this tiger, is it also down in the midnight sea? How does one ride a tiger underwater?
[4] The Diver may be Holy, but he isn't blind.
[5] Naturally. The midnight sea is an excellent cleanser. Although why you would care about the tiger's cleaniness is beyond me. Also, how does the word 'but' make any sense. Shouldn't it be "you can see his stripes SO you know he's clean?"
[6] Sorry, RJ. I'm lost.
[7] Who's gotta get away? And now that I think about it, what the f**k is a Holy Diver?
[8] I'm not touching this one
[9] Hide in the sun? Are we still underwater? Or are we riding the tiger? Also, I would suspect, it's pretty easy to see the light if you're hiding in the sun. For the billionth of a second it takes before you go blind, anyway. Also, there's no racing for the morning in the sun. The sun IS the morning.
[10] WTF?
[11] Ronnie James Dio: I don't care if it's nonsense, I need a word that rhymes with "lies"
[12] Ditto for "steel." Let's make it profound nonsense.
[13] What's he dressed up as? Either that or this word does not mean what Ronnie James Dio thinks it means.
[14] Perhaps his Holiness has a fear of masquerade stardom
[15] I wouldn't, if I were you.
[16] See [10] above
[17] Maybe we've been blinded from hiding in the sun.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Things You DON'T Usually Hear in Bars
GUY I MET: Before I started working on the rigs, I was a bouncer. The best night of the week was Wednesdays, because that was gay night. Gays are really cool. They're funny and friendly and nice to talk to.
DAN: When I heard you start that sentence with "I work on the rigs," I really wasn't expecting your story about gay night to end the way it did.
Stereotypes are bad.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
DAN: When I heard you start that sentence with "I work on the rigs," I really wasn't expecting your story about gay night to end the way it did.
Stereotypes are bad.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Other
Wednesday, April 16 - Dan will be appearing on Kamikaze Komedy on CJSR 88.5 from midnight to 2 am (so technically, April 17)
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
headLINES and other announcements
You'll find it here.
Dawn and I will be hosting a Special Dating Night Tuesday, April 22 at The Comic Strip. There will be comedy, of course, but also some games and possibly prizes as well. We're hoping to make it different and fun and interactive, and the more people we get out, the better the chances of that happening.
Also, I'm writing this here so I am forced to go through with it. I've made the decision to stop doing any of my current act during unpaid spots (ie: guest sets and open mics)
I want to re-experience the challenge and excitement of starting from nothing and creating myself on-stage all over again. My first year in comedy was the one where I did the most bad shows, but it was also the most fun because I was discovering along with the audience what worked and what didn't.
As part of that, it is my intention next week to write 100 jokes in seven days. I'm going to start next Monday and end Sunday by midnight.
Wish me luck.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Dawn and I will be hosting a Special Dating Night Tuesday, April 22 at The Comic Strip. There will be comedy, of course, but also some games and possibly prizes as well. We're hoping to make it different and fun and interactive, and the more people we get out, the better the chances of that happening.
Also, I'm writing this here so I am forced to go through with it. I've made the decision to stop doing any of my current act during unpaid spots (ie: guest sets and open mics)
I want to re-experience the challenge and excitement of starting from nothing and creating myself on-stage all over again. My first year in comedy was the one where I did the most bad shows, but it was also the most fun because I was discovering along with the audience what worked and what didn't.
As part of that, it is my intention next week to write 100 jokes in seven days. I'm going to start next Monday and end Sunday by midnight.
Wish me luck.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, April 22 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Friday, March 28, 2008
Dan's Underground Comedy Tour
I read once that Dave Chappelle once did comedy in subway stations.
Today I decided to try it.
I was in a bad mood because a) it was a cloudy day and b) because I received news the Universe would not be handing writing success and the title of Voice of a Generation to me on a silver platter, and that I would, in fact, have to work for it like everyone else. Bummer.
Anyway, here's a station by station rundown.
UNIVERSITY STATION
Here we go. This is harder than I thought. I'm having a hard time remembering my jokes, even though some of them I've been using for years.
The body language isn't as bad as I thought. Of course, I made a conscious effort to root myself before I started. My gestures are still smaller than they should be and I'm definitely physically uptight.
The hardest part is my voice. I can't make it project, and it sounds very hesitant.
HEALTH SCIENCES
Just did a quick couple bits here, as it was the end of the line and I wanted to catch the same train I got in on to save time.
I decided to do Clareview next and then tried to work out logistically how I could minimize my wait time by skipping stations and then catching trains going in the oppoisite direction to do the stations I missed (instead of working my way down the line in one direction). That sentence made as much sense as my plan did. But I think the idea was sound.
As I rode to Clareview my stomach was churning. What possessed me to attempt this stupid idea anyway? Is this REALLY going to improve my stage presence? I did two stations already; I could go home now and I'd have tried it. The rest will be more of the same, right?
No.
Right or wrong, I finish what I start.
God help me.
CLAREVIEW
Another quick in and out. My voice is getting better. The outlying stations have less people on the platform. I don't know if that helps or hurts.
COLISEUM
This time I positioned myself differently. I'm experimenting with different ways of standing relative to the flow of traffic, but once I've picked a spot, the goal is to stay there, regardless of how people react or don't react to me.
I thought people would think I'm weird for doing this, and I am getting a few weird looks. But mostly, I'm being completely ignored. I'm terrified of the way people will think of me and for the most part people don't really seem to give a shit.
I'm part relieved, part annoyed.
There's a lesson in this somewhere, but damned if I can figure it out.
BELVEDERE
Okay, I'm starting to get the hang of it. I don't feel at all self-conscious anymore.
Next station, I'm upping the ante.
STADIUM
Tried a higher-traffic flow area. Still not many people.
I'm nearly out of jokes.
On the platform I went into some of my MC schtick. "Any celebrations tonight?"
One woman turned around and said--not unkindly: "No."
I was so used to being ignored, I was completely thrown off stride.
Damn it.
I want to get to the point where I don't care. Whether there's people or not, whether they ignore me or not, I want to have the same commitment to what I'm doing. I want to be able to react to what's going on without having it affect me.
CHURCHILL
The downtown stations have more people, so now I'm nervous again. I'm crossways to the flow of traffic.
Nobody gives a shit.
This is bull. I'm doing my A material.
GRANDIN
I've run out of jokes. I do an impression of the Rock. "Finally, the Rock has come back to Grandin Station."
I'm starting to realize how much of our social behaviour is regulated by reading cues from other people. Because people are actively ignoring me, I can't actually tell how loud my voice is.
I'm losing my sense of what is acceptable social behaviour. What happens when I jump up and down like this? What happens when I wave my arms wildly?
I am also exhausted. I've been down here less than two hours, but it feels like forever.
I need to get out of here.
Instead of waiting for the next train, I take the stairs, intending to use the pedway system to get to the next downtown station since they're so close together. Instead, I get turned around and find myself in...
CHURCHILL (AGAIN)
Damn it to Hell.
Screw it. Time to start singing.
"Her name was LOLA
She was a SHOWGIRL..."
BAY
I hate the sound of my own voice. I'm exhausted and want to go home.
I break up the change, by breaking into some dance moves. I'm trying to put energy into it, pretending I'm onstage at show 235 of 256 date tour. Every show deserves 100%--even if nobody here asked for a show or even knows there is one going on.
CORONA
I'm not even thinking any more. Is it me or have their been more attractive women riding the LRT today. If I ever see them again...Actually, if I see them again, they probably won't even remember me. I'm the loudest person in the station, but I'm also effectively invisible.
I finish my showcase set. This took a little over two hours, but I feel as exhausted as I did after twelve-hour shifts when I was working hospital security.
I go upstairs and out into the world.
The sun has come out
I'm not in a bad mood anymore.
Today I decided to try it.
I was in a bad mood because a) it was a cloudy day and b) because I received news the Universe would not be handing writing success and the title of Voice of a Generation to me on a silver platter, and that I would, in fact, have to work for it like everyone else. Bummer.
Anyway, here's a station by station rundown.
UNIVERSITY STATION
Here we go. This is harder than I thought. I'm having a hard time remembering my jokes, even though some of them I've been using for years.
The body language isn't as bad as I thought. Of course, I made a conscious effort to root myself before I started. My gestures are still smaller than they should be and I'm definitely physically uptight.
The hardest part is my voice. I can't make it project, and it sounds very hesitant.
HEALTH SCIENCES
Just did a quick couple bits here, as it was the end of the line and I wanted to catch the same train I got in on to save time.
I decided to do Clareview next and then tried to work out logistically how I could minimize my wait time by skipping stations and then catching trains going in the oppoisite direction to do the stations I missed (instead of working my way down the line in one direction). That sentence made as much sense as my plan did. But I think the idea was sound.
As I rode to Clareview my stomach was churning. What possessed me to attempt this stupid idea anyway? Is this REALLY going to improve my stage presence? I did two stations already; I could go home now and I'd have tried it. The rest will be more of the same, right?
No.
Right or wrong, I finish what I start.
God help me.
CLAREVIEW
Another quick in and out. My voice is getting better. The outlying stations have less people on the platform. I don't know if that helps or hurts.
COLISEUM
This time I positioned myself differently. I'm experimenting with different ways of standing relative to the flow of traffic, but once I've picked a spot, the goal is to stay there, regardless of how people react or don't react to me.
I thought people would think I'm weird for doing this, and I am getting a few weird looks. But mostly, I'm being completely ignored. I'm terrified of the way people will think of me and for the most part people don't really seem to give a shit.
I'm part relieved, part annoyed.
There's a lesson in this somewhere, but damned if I can figure it out.
BELVEDERE
Okay, I'm starting to get the hang of it. I don't feel at all self-conscious anymore.
Next station, I'm upping the ante.
STADIUM
Tried a higher-traffic flow area. Still not many people.
I'm nearly out of jokes.
On the platform I went into some of my MC schtick. "Any celebrations tonight?"
One woman turned around and said--not unkindly: "No."
I was so used to being ignored, I was completely thrown off stride.
Damn it.
I want to get to the point where I don't care. Whether there's people or not, whether they ignore me or not, I want to have the same commitment to what I'm doing. I want to be able to react to what's going on without having it affect me.
CHURCHILL
The downtown stations have more people, so now I'm nervous again. I'm crossways to the flow of traffic.
Nobody gives a shit.
This is bull. I'm doing my A material.
GRANDIN
I've run out of jokes. I do an impression of the Rock. "Finally, the Rock has come back to Grandin Station."
I'm starting to realize how much of our social behaviour is regulated by reading cues from other people. Because people are actively ignoring me, I can't actually tell how loud my voice is.
I'm losing my sense of what is acceptable social behaviour. What happens when I jump up and down like this? What happens when I wave my arms wildly?
I am also exhausted. I've been down here less than two hours, but it feels like forever.
I need to get out of here.
Instead of waiting for the next train, I take the stairs, intending to use the pedway system to get to the next downtown station since they're so close together. Instead, I get turned around and find myself in...
CHURCHILL (AGAIN)
Damn it to Hell.
Screw it. Time to start singing.
"Her name was LOLA
She was a SHOWGIRL..."
BAY
I hate the sound of my own voice. I'm exhausted and want to go home.
I break up the change, by breaking into some dance moves. I'm trying to put energy into it, pretending I'm onstage at show 235 of 256 date tour. Every show deserves 100%--even if nobody here asked for a show or even knows there is one going on.
CORONA
I'm not even thinking any more. Is it me or have their been more attractive women riding the LRT today. If I ever see them again...Actually, if I see them again, they probably won't even remember me. I'm the loudest person in the station, but I'm also effectively invisible.
I finish my showcase set. This took a little over two hours, but I feel as exhausted as I did after twelve-hour shifts when I was working hospital security.
I go upstairs and out into the world.
The sun has come out
I'm not in a bad mood anymore.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
New Pair of Singles
Check it out HERE
I don't know what I'm more excited about--the fact we already have a reader comment, or the fact that the comment alleges "Judging from your picture, you have very nice eyes and regular features, which, according to most women, is enough to rate you as handsome"
That endorsement is definitely going on the cover of my first book. And my Facebook status. And I possibly a t-shirt as well.
I'm very enthusiastic about some ideas for some upcoming articles. I'm always trying to keep things fresh and challenge myself both as a writer and as a person. I'm pitching my ideas to editors as we speak, so watch this space for details.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
I don't know what I'm more excited about--the fact we already have a reader comment, or the fact that the comment alleges "Judging from your picture, you have very nice eyes and regular features, which, according to most women, is enough to rate you as handsome"
That endorsement is definitely going on the cover of my first book. And my Facebook status. And I possibly a t-shirt as well.
I'm very enthusiastic about some ideas for some upcoming articles. I'm always trying to keep things fresh and challenge myself both as a writer and as a person. I'm pitching my ideas to editors as we speak, so watch this space for details.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Monday, March 24, 2008
new headLINEs
Latest headLINES is up
I complain now and then about rude people at the Comedy Club, people who think they are entitled to anything they want. I used to think those people had no redeeming social value.
I was wrong.
A friend (I haven't chosen his nickname yet; I'm thinking of going with PrettyBoy) and I were at a karaoke bar on Saturday. Every five minutes it seemed, the server was checking in on us.
Finally, I asked. "Why do you come by so often?"
She said: "Because when I'm out I often want stuff. Even if I order a drink, I might decide two seconds later I want something else, and I hate having to wait for a waitress."
In other words, she was one of those annoying types. But as a server, she's taken her weakness and turned it into a strength. She was a woman who made the decision lived up to her own standards.
That's pretty cool.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
I complain now and then about rude people at the Comedy Club, people who think they are entitled to anything they want. I used to think those people had no redeeming social value.
I was wrong.
A friend (I haven't chosen his nickname yet; I'm thinking of going with PrettyBoy) and I were at a karaoke bar on Saturday. Every five minutes it seemed, the server was checking in on us.
Finally, I asked. "Why do you come by so often?"
She said: "Because when I'm out I often want stuff. Even if I order a drink, I might decide two seconds later I want something else, and I hate having to wait for a waitress."
In other words, she was one of those annoying types. But as a server, she's taken her weakness and turned it into a strength. She was a woman who made the decision lived up to her own standards.
That's pretty cool.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, April 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, April 4
Friday, April 18
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Killin' The Radio Star
I first saw this video in a hotel room in Slave Lake when I was playing bass in the band.
I remember saying out loud to the rest of the band. "Look at this crap. It's everything I hate about pop music"...right up until 3:04 when it suddenly became "Oh my God, that's the greatest video I've ever seen!"
I remember saying out loud to the rest of the band. "Look at this crap. It's everything I hate about pop music"...right up until 3:04 when it suddenly became "Oh my God, that's the greatest video I've ever seen!"
Monday, March 17, 2008
latest headLINES is up
Right here
I'm at the Comic Strip tonight. I'm MCing. Come one, come all.
Went to Ace Frehley on the weekend. It was fun. I said some funny things.
I also misplaced my coat there. I am sad. If anyone sees a black peacoat with brass buttons and a notebook filled with moderately funny jokes in the pocket along with a pair of gloves and a KISS hat, I would appreciate having it back.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, March 17 - The Comic Strip
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Writing
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
I'm at the Comic Strip tonight. I'm MCing. Come one, come all.
Went to Ace Frehley on the weekend. It was fun. I said some funny things.
I also misplaced my coat there. I am sad. If anyone sees a black peacoat with brass buttons and a notebook filled with moderately funny jokes in the pocket along with a pair of gloves and a KISS hat, I would appreciate having it back.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, March 17 - The Comic Strip
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Writing
Current Living Article is up here
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Never Mind Matt Damon, I'm *****ing Powermann!
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, March 17 - The Comic Strip
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Current Living Article is up here
Upcoming Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (Subject to change)
Friday, March 7
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
"Normally I discount anything Powermann says, but this time he's exactly right"
-Lars Callieou
I have never heard a human being so accurately summed up in a single quote. Powermann is three parts village idiot, one part prophet and you never know what you're going to get at any given time.
I brought a date with me to a show this weekend. I knew she was going to meet Powermann. Powermann can be an acquired taste so I wasn't sure how things were going to go.
I was worried they wouldn't get along, which would have been uncomfortable.
As it turned out, they got along like two peas in a pod, which was terrifying.
My world was askew. Turned topsy-turvy. I was freaked right out. And possibly agog as well.
Powermann, never one to smell blood in the water without taking a bite, capitalized on the moment.
POWERMANN: (growing louder with each word as the Powermann Overload System ticks steadily to the red zone) Brodribb, Me and your girl have so much in common. It's like you're dating me. In fact, you are dating me! BRODRIBB, YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH ME!! HEY, EVERYBODY, BRODRIBB AND ME ARE HOOKING UP!!!!
Now all I can imagine is being in mid romantic congress with this woman when all of a sudden her face morphs into Powermann's like Adam Sandler's rivals in 'The Waterboy.' It's grinning up at me and talking to me in a Powermann voice and laughing a Powermann laugh.
POWERMANN: Don't thtop now, Brodribb, it's just gettin' good, haw-HAW!
I hope I don't have to break up over this, because that would be an awkward conversation.
DAN: Look, this just isn't working.
HER: Why not?
DAN: Because you're Powermann.
Monday, March 17 - The Comic Strip
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Current Living Article is up here
Upcoming Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (Subject to change)
Friday, March 7
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
"Normally I discount anything Powermann says, but this time he's exactly right"
-Lars Callieou
I have never heard a human being so accurately summed up in a single quote. Powermann is three parts village idiot, one part prophet and you never know what you're going to get at any given time.
I brought a date with me to a show this weekend. I knew she was going to meet Powermann. Powermann can be an acquired taste so I wasn't sure how things were going to go.
I was worried they wouldn't get along, which would have been uncomfortable.
As it turned out, they got along like two peas in a pod, which was terrifying.
My world was askew. Turned topsy-turvy. I was freaked right out. And possibly agog as well.
Powermann, never one to smell blood in the water without taking a bite, capitalized on the moment.
POWERMANN: (growing louder with each word as the Powermann Overload System ticks steadily to the red zone) Brodribb, Me and your girl have so much in common. It's like you're dating me. In fact, you are dating me! BRODRIBB, YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH ME!! HEY, EVERYBODY, BRODRIBB AND ME ARE HOOKING UP!!!!
Now all I can imagine is being in mid romantic congress with this woman when all of a sudden her face morphs into Powermann's like Adam Sandler's rivals in 'The Waterboy.' It's grinning up at me and talking to me in a Powermann voice and laughing a Powermann laugh.
POWERMANN: Don't thtop now, Brodribb, it's just gettin' good, haw-HAW!
I hope I don't have to break up over this, because that would be an awkward conversation.
DAN: Look, this just isn't working.
HER: Why not?
DAN: Because you're Powermann.
You Know You're Obsessed With Writing When...
when you start mentally editing the ads on buses. Especially when you feel compelled to solicit opinions from the people sitting beside you.
I saw a transit ad for Colgate saying "If Dating Is A Game, Give Your Mouth The Home Field Advantage."
I think it would be stronger and punchier if the words "if" and "the" were cut: "Dating is a Game. Give Your Mouth Home Field Advantage."
I saw a transit ad for Colgate saying "If Dating Is A Game, Give Your Mouth The Home Field Advantage."
I think it would be stronger and punchier if the words "if" and "the" were cut: "Dating is a Game. Give Your Mouth Home Field Advantage."
Monday, March 03, 2008
New Stuff
Click here for the latest headLINES
I was badly traumatized this weekend. Powermann, you are a terrible person.
The story will be posted later this week.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, March 17 - The Comic Strip
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Current Living Article is up here
Upcoming Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (Subject to change)
Friday, March 7
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
I was badly traumatized this weekend. Powermann, you are a terrible person.
The story will be posted later this week.
Upcoming Comedy
Monday, March 17 - The Comic Strip
Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys and Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca
Upcoming Writing
Current Living Article is up here
Upcoming Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (Subject to change)
Friday, March 7
Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.
A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here
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