Strange Things Afoot

Tonight at The Comic Strip will be your last chance to see me live before my California trip. Unless you work with me, in which case you'll see me tomorrow.

Excited about the trip. Today I got travel insurance, which I've never done before. It was about as exicting as you'd expect--except that it was something new, so naturally I enjoyed it.

I ate potato chips for the first time in a while on Friday night and woke up with a hangover-y headache feeling. If I start eating healthier, is that going to be par for the course? Cause I don't like not having options.

Oddly enough, Saturday night I drank and DID not have a hangover the next day. But my voice sounded awesome. I love how my voice sounds after a night of moderate drinking. Since having a good voice is important for a day job, I wonder if I could write off doing tequila shooters the night before every shift as Professional Development.

Oh yeah. And I've been having visions. Which is weird because I don't believe in that stuff. My current Policy on Visions is: "As long as it doesn't affect my everyday functioning, I see no reason for alarm." I don't know what it says about me that my policy towards the Unexplainable is the same as my attitude towards nookie, substance abuse, and climate change but there you go.

Wednesday I am off to California. In honor of my trip (and the Rob Zombie and Alice Cooper concert I'll be checking out at the end of April), here's some travellin' music for the legions of adoring fans crying themselves to sleep awaiting my safe return.

May all beings be sexy.

Dumpster Diving

you would think the CBC showcase (did the jokes I wanted, went well, haven't heard anything yet, thanks for asking)was the most exciting thing I did last night.

It wasn't.

After the show, I went dumpster diving with a lesbian.

That's not a metaphor for something dirty. That's exactly what I did--digging through a dumpster in my showcase clothes with a group of people that included a pregnant woman, a very nice couple, and assorted others.

It was fun.

Part of it is the joy of experiencing something new, of being introduced to a world you didn't know existed.

Part of it is the thrill of learning. I love learning new things, even though I am often stressed about doing them badly which leads me to be cautious about what I take on. Sometimes I think I love learning new things in spite of the fear. Sometimes I think the fear is what makes learning them worthwhile.

Half the joy (and the stress) of the new laptop has been setting it up. I was at the computer store the other day and was contemplating buying a router so I could get wireless access at home...not because I want home internet access (In fact, I prefer to have limited internet time. Otherwise cyberspace has a way of seducing me for hours and keeping me from doing things that need doing), but because I wanted to learn how to set it up (**)

Another part of the excitement of dumpster diving is the rush of Bucking the System. As I've started to think more beyond myself, I'm becoming more interested in Making a Difference in the world. My dumpster experience felt very anarchist and revolutionary.

(A friend and I were commiserating about this Fighting the System stuff, and how our temperaments are so ill-suited to it. His comrades get him all worked up, but when push comes to shove, he ends up making friends with all the people they're supposed to be angry at. We're both too genial to be revolutionaries (**))

And of course, now that I know how to dumpster dive, I have one more skill that will help me survive the Apocalypse--assuming the apocalypse doesn't interfere with corporate North America's shipping and receiving schedules(***).

Yay me.


(*) After that, I would build a time machine, and go back to the time a friend of mine had laptop troubles and fix it for them, pausing just long enough to high five my younger self on the way out the door saying "Knock it off with the feelings of inadequacy, you sexy motherfucker. We have got this shit COVERED."

(**) Some would make the argument, that genial people make the most effective revolutionaries what with our ninja empathy, non-judgement, and quiet dedication to changing hearts over looking good to the people who already agree with us. The problem is, it's the loud, visible folks that get the press and the adulation. Saving the world is nice and all, but if it doesn't bring you chicks and glory, what's the point?

(***) I'm almost willing to give capitalism a fighting chance. Have you ever noticed that t doesn't seem to matter what fires, floods, or earthquakes happen in the world, the latest blockbuster movie always seems to open on the scheduled release date? Misplaced priorities aside, consumerism gets shit done. It might be the wrong shit, but it gets done.

Upcomng Shows

Including some last minute bookings at The Laugh Shop on Whyte Avenue this weekend...

Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, February 25 - The Laugh Shop - Edmonton
Friday, February 26 - The Laugh Shop - Edmonton
Saturday, February 27 - The Laugh Shop - Edmonton
Wednesday, March 3 - The Laugh Shop - Edmonton
Monday, March 8 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 13 - OSCW The Union
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

For the record, I won't be personally appearing at the OSCW shows. I will be leaving to drive down to California on the 10th and won't be back until the 24th.

CBC Showcase

I'm showcasing for a CBC show at the Laugh Shop next week: Wednesday, March 3.

Normally I'm nervous about these things, but for this one I'm oddly at peace.

Maybe it's the way I put my set together. Instead of doing the jokes audiences typically like best, I've decided to do the jokes I like. So Buddhism and Feminism is in, displacing a lot of my traditional "showcase" material.

For whatever reason, I'm less worried about "giving them what will make them want to hire me" and more about giving them an honest look at who I am and letting them make up their own minds.

For ticket information contact me or call the Laugh Shop at (780) 476-1010

Mojo Settin'

Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, February 10 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Saturday, February 20 - Private Function - Okotoks
Monday, February 22 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Tuesday, February 23 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Wednesday, March 3 - The Laugh Shop - Edmonton
Monday, March 8 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 13 - OSCW The Union
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

I've been quite proud of my mojo lately. Even though I'm not in the market for a relationship, for whatever reason, I seem to have Magic Woman Attracting Powers.

I was bragging about this to Dawn at the bar (*) one night. She, of course, had heard this story from me before, and the guy next to her was trying to buy her a drink, so she had other things on her mind.

At that moment, a cute Goth chick shyly approached me. Dan Mojo Rises Again!!!

CUTE GOTH CHICK: Hi, I'm Cute Goth Chick
DAN: (putting extra bass in his voice, sultryness in his stare, and puffing out his chest...also glancing at Dawn to see if she was watching (**)) I'm Dan.
CUTE GOTH CHICK: (indicating Dawn) So...are you and her...together?
DAN: (smiling reassuringly at this poor woman, who is clearly awed to be in his presence) We're friends.
DAN'S BRAIN:(singing)I'm gonna get some Goth Love, I'm gonna get some Goth Love...
CUTE GOTH CHICK: Oh. Then would she be free to go out with me this Saturday?
DAN'S BRAIN: *needle scratching across record noise*

God damn it.

The Mojo Giveth, and the Mojo Taketh Away.

(*) Also bragging to her about it over the phone, at her place, at my place, in the car...

(**) She wasn't. But she did have the line of the night, which was: "Why can't I stay this drunk ALL the time?"

Question Of The Day

Well...actually, Sunday night/Saturday morning, during a semi-drunk conversation with Bubba.

"What do you do once you've accomplished everything you set out to achieve for yourself?"

Dan Loves His Family (The Unexpected)

Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, February 10 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Saturday, February 13 - Get Yo' Heart On Comedy Night at The Common - Edmonton
Monday, February 22 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 13 - OSCW The Union
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

My family bought me a laptop!!!

I am flabbergasted.

My sister stopped by yesterday while I was getting ready for a date(*) and dropped it off. I didn't ask for it. I'm not sure I NEED it--though I can see it coming in damn handy now that I have it.

I think it was the gesture, more than anything.

I have a good family. They always come through when expected. But an unexpected kindness at an unexpected time...that means a lot.

I've noticed a lot of that lately. Over the last little while, I've received a lot of unexpected kindness in surprising ways from surprising (and not-so-surprising)sources.

What gives it more meaning is that those acts of kindness have come now, at a point where I'm feeling I don't have much to give anybody in return.

It's tough, leaning on people. It's easy to feel embarassed or weak or even resentful. But as I touched on in this article, I think there is something to learning to receive without being expected to pay it back, 'deserve it' or 'earn' it somehow.

It's strange but learning how to receive is helping me understand more what it means to give.

I'm looking forward to putting it into practice.

"O Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life"
-Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

(*) I mention this because it is likely going to be my last date for a while. I still love the "meeting new people" aspect, but despite my efforts to mix it up in terms of personalities and process, I feel like I'm piloting through the first three levels of a video game over and over. There's only so many different things that can happen and once you've experienced them all to the point they become predictable, it's hard to stay passionate about playing.

Dan Gets Quoted In A Valentine's Day Article

It ran in the Vancouver Sun.

You can check it out here.

Dan In Pictures

Got some new promotional pictures done last week. I'll be spending a while sifting through the options and seeing what I like.

If you're my friend on Facebook, you can see them here.

A Public Commitment

Winter malaise is upon me in full swing, exacerbated by some recession-induced uncertainty in my chosen fields and whatever mysterious goings on are taking place down there in the Blind Spot (*). It's deceptive because even though I'm doing fine, it doesn't FEEL to me like I'm doing fine. It also doesn't LOOK like I'm doing fine because I'm actually opening up to people--saying what I actually feel instead of saying the "right things."

It's a giant step forward, though to the untrained eye, it looks like two steps back, followed by a total meltdown.

It's tough for me, because I hate feeling weakness. More accurately, I hate other people knowing I feel weak. I'm supposed to be the one with the answers, damn it. And if I don't have the answers, I need to at least be able to fake enough certainty that people don't notice.

Anything less is unmanly.

Come to think of it, I also am equally uncomfortable feeling confident. Or more accurately, I uncomfortable with other people knowing when I feel confident. I worry they'll think I'm arrogant or cocky.

And that's why I'm doing this publicly.

For some time now, I've made a commitment to do at least one thing every day that makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be a big thing--but it has to be something that forces me "feel the fear and do it anyway.(**)"

It's been awesome.

But lately, I've noticed something. Two somethings, actually.

1 - I only experiment when no one I know is around. The only times I will face a fear anyone other than strangers is if it doesn't contradict my social role in that setting, whether it's Sarcastic Guy, Shy Awkward Guy, Good Listener, Serial (sometimes Parallel) Philanderer, Dutiful Boyfriend (okay, that only happened once, but I worked my fucking ass off at it), Damaged Goods, Tantric Practitioner, Office Clown, Humble Just-Happy-to-be-here Comedian, Flirty Salsero, Sage-Beyond-His-Years Buddhist, Rebel Teacher.

I can do a lot of things in a lot of situations. But once I'm in the box, I don't easily step out...possibly one of the reasons, I keep my social groups seperate. I rarely introduce women I date to friends or family. Crisis work, salsa, Buddhist, comedy, and writing are all kept carefully apart like food items on a plate.

2 - The great majority also happen under controlled circumstances. There's risk, but no real danger, because I always leave myself an out. If the situation is uncertain or I'm in a new environment, I default to Pleasant But Quiet mode.

It's time to cut away those two somethings. I faced a lot of fears, but they were the henchmen. We're looking at two of the Boss Fears in my psyche, two of the Big Bads: Fear of Letting People See Me For Who I Am, and Fear of Abandoning Control.

I've come a long way. But until I start taking risks that MEAN something, I'm not living. I'm only practicing.

I've practiced long enough. I'm ready.

What I'm ready for, I don't know.

But whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it.

(*) The hardest part is the waiting to see what will unfold. I've always felt that the best way to find out what's going on is to Do-Something-And-See-What-Happens, and while I'm not 100% resisting that urge in this case, at least I'm taking smaller steps in various directions and seeing how each one feels instead of powering full-speed ahead into what I think I should want and hoping momentum will carry me through.

(**) Previous examples include running naked through my neighbourhood, asking the clerk at a woman's lingerie store if she had anything in my size, the Great LRT Experiment, and a couple other things I'd be better off not mentioning.

Dan Has His First Wrestling Match

Upcoming Comedy
Sunday, January 31 - The Druid - Edmonton
Tuesday, February 2 - New City Comedy Olympics - Edmonton
Wednesday, February 10 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Saturday, February 13 - Get Yo' Heart On Comedy Night at The Common - Edmonton
Monday, February 22 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

Okay, it was an arm wrestling match, but still.

It counts dammnit. It was at the New City Comedy Olympics. I was the heel and called it all, and I was pretty happy with the way it turned out--Neil Rhodes shooting a pin on himself during the heat segment notwithstanding.

It was fun to be the bad guy. I called the fans idiots, stalled on the lock-up, cheated, and got booed and everything.

New City is a fun room. Each show is a theme, so there's always a fresh challenge and an opportunity to explore something new.

The other reason I like the room is the crowds are a little more on the fringe, which means my pro-feminism, gay-is-interesting-not-scary stuff gets a nice welcome (as do any Lord of the Rings or Spider-Man references). Most rooms, the audience laughs because their perspective is being challenged. In New City, they laugh because they can RELATE.

It's a good feeling.

The Mystery Of The Moment

Upcoming Comedy
Sunday, January 31 - The Druid - Edmonton
Tuesday, February 2 - New City Comedy Olympics - Edmonton
Saturday, February 13 - Get Yo' Heart On Comedy Night at The Common - Edmonton
Monday, February 22 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

Sometime in the night, I open my eyes to find find myself face to face with a cat.

The cat vanishes into the darkness before my muscles finish twitching, but already I’m reaching out with my senses, circulating my awareness, in that indescribable way that feels to me like ceaseless, shark-like motion, but produces the optical illusion of stillness to anyone watching.

I feel my body, settling into an unfamiliar mattress. I feel my skin and muscles, clenched against the cold.

There is another person sleeping behind me. In another moment, I felt nails on my skin, movement beneath my body, gasps and moans. And of course, leading the way, my heart, savoring the blend of emotions that makes every encounter feel like the first time. There was surprised delight at her aggressiveness; the joy of give and take; a flicker of performance anxiety; a glow of healing and being healed; the expansive sense of awed wonder at how each woman is so different from every other; the reverence and gratitude for being able to share this moment with this person.

But that moment is gone. Now there is this only this one.

The breeze from the fan. My shoulders and chest note the presence of the blanket, comfortable, but not quite thick enough to fully warm me. In my throat, rawness from a cough I picked up last week. In my heart…

Access Denied

In this moment, my heart is unavailable. It resides in what the Vipassana folks call a dead zone, a temporary blind spot in my awareness. Whatever‘s there, I can‘t pick it up.

I probe again, but the blind spot remains. The darkness is impenetrable, but gentle--there are things here you are not yet ready to see.

Troubling.

But some moments are. Each moment will be as it will be--some filled with joy, some with pain, some with mystery, some with unfathomable sadness--and they are all equally precious.

I close my eyes and await the next one.

From Russia With Love On WTF? Weekend

Upcoming Comedy
Sunday, January 31 - The Druid - Edmonton
Tuesday, February 2 - New City Comedy Olympics - Edmonton
Saturday, February 13 - Get Yo' Heart On Comedy Night at The Common - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

Less than 24 hours after telling Captain Hammer I was absolutely, positively, without-any-question sick, tired, and done with the bar scene, I found myself dancing delightedly with Dawn Dumont and a comic-in-training in a bar I never knew existed to a Russian-language version of OSCW champion Eclipse's entrance theme.

It's been that kind of a weekend.

Seriously. A lot of things have happened over the last couple days, and the one thing they've all had in common is that it was in the complete opposite direction of what I expected--and in some cases--intended. And in some cases, when I adapted and changed my mind to the NEW circumstance, that new circumstance took another unexpected turn.

Nothing has become predictable anymore. I no longer know what is going to happen.

It's thrilling.

Back to the bar. It was the same as any other club, but somehow the fact that everyone there was Russian made it novel and new. They are expressive dancers those Russians. And very tall. Tall, blocky men. Tall, slender--and very beautiful--women, a sizable percentage of whom were unquestionably off-duty strippers (*). I wonder how Slavic rappers talk about their "shorties," when their "shorties" are five-ten.

And of course Dawn.

There's no way I can really write about the chemistry Dawn and I have when it comes to our friendship--just the right combination of funny and supportive. A former boyfriend of hers was jealous at how well we got along (a story I often make her retell, partly for the self-esteem boost, and partly because she tells it with funny voices).

And there we were--a Native American woman and the guy whose only experience with Eastern Bloc culture was playing the part of "Soviet Goal Judge" in the acclaimed film "Sure-Shot Dombrowski."

We danced. We fell in love with our own reflections in the bar's mirrored walls. We made fun of Russians ("Was it hurtful when Tom Cruise gave you the finger in Top Gun?"). We lost and found her cell phone. We screamed along with everybody else when the DJ stopped the music (On purpose or Russian technology?)and everybody in the bar sang the chorus even though we had no idea what we were saying.

Simple things. Little things. Things that can only made better and more hilarious by a soundtrack of Russian-language hip-hop.

Who could ask for anything more?

(*)You know what seeing strippers doing normal dancing in a normal club reminds me of? Being a kid and seeing your teacher at the grocery store. It's kind of a surreal feeling. It's like: Fantasy Object, what are YOU doing out here in the real world?

The Rules Are Different In Show Business

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 2 - New City Comedy Olympics - Edmonton
Saturday, February 13 - Get Yo' Heart On Comedy Night at The Common - Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, March 20 - OSCW One Year Anniversary

Comedy Olympics are at New City on February 2. I have no idea what the events will be, but I'm looking forward to representing salsa dancing/pro-wrestling announcing/writer/comic Buddhists everywhere.

Yesterday's Druid show was fun. A woman ran onstage, threw her arms around me and kissed me thrice, and several other comdedians set I was good, so the Demons of External Validation were duly satisfied.

That said, I find it hard to accept credit for good shows because when I'm performing well, it feels so effortles. I don't feel I deserve anything because it doesn't feel like I'm really doing anything.

After the show, I had a conversation with one of the comedians who I consider one of the nicest guys in show business. And after that conversation I looked back and thought, wow.

He was talking about how tough it was on him to maintain a relationship while being a touring comedian with his girfriend living in a different city, despite how much he loved her.

DAN'S SOLUTION: Why don't you cheat on her?
NICEST GUY IN COMEDY: I am morally opposed to cheating. I would never cheat on my girlfriend. I was sleeping with another woman for a while, but I was honest with her [the other woman]. I said, 'as soon as I tell my girlfriend I love her, it's over between us.' And I stood by that.

And this is a conversation between two men who are generally regarded as being among the more CONSIDERATE guys in entertainment.

The rules are different in show business, folks. Don't ever say you weren't warned.

The Social Nomad

Went out dancing with Dawn on Friday night, with the wrestlers after the show on Saturday. Starting flirting with girls, more practice swings than anything else, just trying to see where I was at.

I keep forgetting that I'm GOOD with women. I don't know how or when that changed, but it surprises me every time.

One girl was a corseted redhead. Partway into the conversation, she cut me off and pointed out her husband sitting in the corner.

And her girlfriend.

And her other girlfriend.

Neat-O.

As it turns out, this woman was polyamorous, which is something I've always wanted to know more about, because the concept intrigues me

It makes me wonder if I could do it.

In the past, I've found dating more than one person at a time exhausting, but if they were also dating each other...heck, maybe it would even be EASIER than dating one person because they would be able to get from each other some of the things that I might not be so good at providing.

On the other hand, it would mean being part of a GROUP.

I don't do groups well.

One of the consequences of the decision I made back on November 24, 2005 to take responsibility for my own happiness instead of expecting the world to hand it to me is that I've become a bit of a social nomad.

Part of it is I've never been comfortable with cliques, organizations, collectives, or communities, no matter how much I agree with their mission statement or like the people in them. I don't know why.

And part of it is, since I've started making a concerted effort to be inclusive rather than exclusive in my approach to the world, I just don't fit very well into most pigeonholes. I'm monogamous at heart, and yet I am most succesful in those relationships when I am either dating other people or seeing myself as 'single.' I'm too offbeat to be truly mainstream, but I'm too traditional to fit into most alternative subcultures. I'm too nerdy to be cool, but not quite nerdy enough to pass as a nerd. I get restless among the stay-at-home-and-watch-a-movie crowd, but I'm not adventurous enough to hang with the thrill-seekers.

It's a rich, but rootless existence. I can get along with almost any scene, but never really feel at home in any of them. And I imagine it makes me tough to deal with though, because I'm never quite exactly the person people expect me to be.

I'm okay with that. Oddly enough, not being fully comfortable anywhere helps me feel more comfortable EVERYWHERE.

A scene in the movie 'Almost Famous' captures this fully, when teenage writer William Miller--overwhelmed by the frustrations of the road and the pressure on him from all sides, cries out: "I want to go home."

And Penny Lane looks at him and says:

"You are home."

It's a good place to be.

-May All Beings Be Sexy

Dan Shows Apprecation

Bastet and I exchanged things yesterday.

Everything is going to be fine.

This post isn't about me though. It's about the people who have supported me throughout through a time that for whatever reasons hit me a lot harder than I expected (*).

Dawn Dumont has been great. I don't think I could do it without her. Captain Hammer, my friends, family, and co-workers...all have been great.

But the thing that gives me the most hope, has been the outpouring of support from women with whom I've been previously involved. It's reassuring on so many levels.

I shouldn't be surprised. If there's one thing I know how to do, it's pick good women.

They've gone on to do some great things. I like to think I helped with that in some small way. They certainly helped me. And the fact that they have gone out of their way to stand by me now reassures me I must be doing something right.

It also makes me look forward to my future with Bastet. Not only is she too important to me to lose(*), she has a lot to offer the world and herself--maybe more than she herself realizes--and I don't want to miss any of it for the world.

So thank you all.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for what we shared when we were together, thank you for your support now, and thank you for being an example of how things work out for the best. Most importantly, thank you for keeping in touch.

I love you all.


(*) In fact, I think one of the reasons, I've been having a hard time with this break-up is I've been trying to rush the grieving process, so I can bring her back into my life. But she's not ready, and I'm not ready, and quite frankly, that pisses me off at the universe a little.

Support the Need for a Candian National Suicide Prevention Strategy - Sign the e-petition

I'm not generally a big fan of using Facebook/Blogger to advance a cause, but this one means something to me so I hope you take the time to have a look and click on the petition if it so interests you.

Hello All,

Below is an email from a gentleman named Rodney constructed to help raise awareness around the issue of suicide. Rodney lost his son to suicide a few years ago and is determined to try and prevent any future losses from happening by raising awareness.

Rodney is an amazing example of how resilient people are.

In addition to his email campaign, he is currently working on getting Shoppers Drug Mart to make a Health Watch pamphlet on Suicide Prevention and how to help someone who may be suicidal – these would be available in Shoppers Drug Marts nationally if he is successful. He is also trying to engage CN (the company he works for) in taking some of the Suicide Prevention training we offer.

You can also find the links to the CASP e-petition and postcard petition information on our website by clicking here:

From: rodney
Sent: January 17, 2010 5:00 PM
Subject: FW: A worth while e-mail with great memories -revised

We all know someone whom has lost a child, parent, grandparent, relative, friend, or co-worker to Suicide.

This e-mail is in memory of all those people that have taken their life's way to soon!

I ask you all to sign the petition and send it to our Federal Health Minister (postage free)

You able to do this in two ways:

a) by supporting the on line petition or

b) by e-mailing casp@casp-acps.ca. who will send you the post cards to distribute in you community or

c) you can print the sample below

Include below is the meaning of the Kites which is on the face of the post card.

As we all have received many e-mails saying send this to 5 or 10 people and something great will happen .

If can participate in this e-mail you will be Rewarded with Great memories, knowing that you supporting the families that have lost a loved one to suicide and by helping start a program that will give hope for the future of suicide prevention .

We can make the World a better place to Live in!

THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH!
r.j.l

PETITION

Suicide is a major public health issue in Canada and in spite of our alarming suicide rate Canada remains one of the few industrialized countries that still does not have a national suicide prevention strategy. In 2004 the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (CASP) published its Blue Print for a National Suicide Prevention Strategy. While provinces throughout Canada have used this document to establish provincial suicide prevention frameworks as well as receiving international recognition this document has yet to be acknowledged by the Canadian Government. Canada must join other countries such as the U.S.A, U.K., Australia, New Zealand and many other European and Asian countries and establish a national suicide prevention strategy.

CASP urges the Government of Canada to take immediate action and move forward on establishing a national suicide prevention strategy. All Canadians can play a role in suicide prevention. CASP invites all Canadians demonstrate their support your in suicide by participating in an on line petition. To register your support for a national suicide prevention strategy and urge the Government of Canada to take action go to http://nspscnd.epetitions.net.

CASP has also started a mail in post card campaign that asks the Minister of Health for the Government of Canada to also take action on this important public health issue. Copies of this post card can be downloaded from our website. To have copies of the post card mailed to you for distribution in your community please contact our office at casp@casp-acps.ca.
Thank you for your support.

How Ricky Ortiz Nearly Killed Us (Twice)

A lot of people have been asking for road stories from the CWE trip. Trouble is, there are too many of them, even once you weed out the inappropriate ones. In seven days, I got seven months worth of stories.

There were some classic moments(*). All of the stories deserve to be told.

Whether they WILL be told is another matter.

But here's one to start with. In accordance with my "I Try To Make No One Look Stupid Other Than Myself" (**) policy towards blog stories, I've changed the names of the men involved and tried to leave out any identifying details.

So without further ado, I present to you the story I call:

HOW RICKY ORTIZ NEARLY KILLED US

Dory was driving the van. Bruno was in the front passenger seat. And neither of them was getting along.

The disagreement had started over one of the most sacrosanct of wrestling's time-honored road traditions: the Wrestling Name Game. The point of contention was Dory playing the name 'Ricky Ortiz.'

"Ricky Ortiz!" Bruno sputtered. "You can't use Ricky Ortiz. You gotta use guys that were in the Fed."

"Ricky Ortiz WAS in the Fed," Dory protested (***).

"Yeah, for two minutes. We need guys who have been in the fed for at least THREE MINUTES."

"He was in the World Wrestling Federation," Dory said. "He was on ECW."

"Yeah, but is he in the WWE Encyclopedia?" Bruno demanded.

The rest of us huddled in the back of the van and waited to see how it would play out. They didn't come to an agreement, but eventually the game continued.

Later, perhaps as a peace offering, Bruno offered to relieve Dory from behind the wheel.

I can't speak for everyone, but I was nervous at this prospect. We were in the winterlands of northern Manitoba. Bruno was from Florida, via New York. And these were not good roads.

Dory looked hesitant, but he was tired, and no one else was volunteering to take over.

He agreed, pulled over, and he and Bruno switched places.

There is some debate over what happened next. Here is my recollection:

Second One: Bruno puts the van into gear and slides away from the side of the road.

Second Two: The van starts to slide towards the center. Bruno over-corrects sending us towards the ditch.

Second Three: Dory reaches over from the passenger seat and steadies the steering wheel.

Second Four: Bruno says, "I got it man."

Second Five: Something starts dinging. Bruno says, "What's That?"

Second Six: Dory says: "You need to put on your seatbelt."

Second Seven: Bruno reaches for his seatbelt. As he drags it across his body, he swerves the van to the right.

Second eight: The van goes into the ditch with a hearty FWOOMPF.

We were stuck for about a half-hour before we were able to be on our way, and that should have been the end of the story, except that the promoter, wondering what the delay was.

BRUNO: Tell them we had to stop so I could take a shit
DORY: We got stuck in a ditch..No, Bruno was driving.

Bruno was beside himself: "I told you to tell him I was taking a shit! You don't stooge out one of the boys like that to the head office! Also...RICKY FUCKING ORTIZ?!?"

Tensions were running high between Bruno and Dory for the rest of the day, mostly because they were being egged on by the rest of the crew. Wrestlers (and wrestling announcer/comedian/buddhist/salsa dancer/writers)are natural shit disturbers and can't pass a fire without throwing gasoline on it, just to see what will happen.

At one point, Dory's brother, Terry, joined the fray ("Hey, Bruno. Heard you guys ended up in the ditch this afternoon. What happened?"), which wouldn't be important, except for what happened next.

After the show, we all piled into the vans and started the four hour drive back to our hotel. For reasons which are a story on of its own but too involved to go into here (short version: Everybody was annoyed with a particular individual who is not a part of this story and didn't want to ride with him), a musical chairs-esque switch of seating arrangements occurred leaving Bruno travelling in a different van from Dory, Terry, myself, and several others.

Terry was driving. Dory was in the front passenger seat.

Less than fifteen minutes out of town, karma made its move.

Terry, who had taken such delight in Bruno's misfortune, was driving dangerously close to the side of the road.

DORY: Hey, Terry, maybe you should drive on the road.
TERRY: I am driving on the---
VAN: FWOOMPF

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Dory's van--through no fault of his own--was in the ditch.

We clambered out of the van and starting pushing. All except Dory, who slid into the driver's seat to steer.

That's how the other van found us. The van carrying Bruno.

Bruno sized up the situation--the van hopelessly buried in the ditch, six members of the crew freezing by roadside, and most importantly, Dory sitting dejectedly in the driver's seat.

Before his van even came to complete stop, he burst out the passenger door in an explosion of trash talk. I've never seen a man so delighted at another's misfortune.

Have you ever seen an Ed Hardy-wearing 230 pound Italian-American dance a jig of unbridled glee on a northern Manitoba roadside by the light of a stuck van's headlight beams?

Me neither. But I'll tell you something. It was damn close.

(*) I got to train with wrestlers! In the ring! I did squats and pushups and three-quarters of a bump (I was supposed to land on my back; I made it as far around as my head before gravity drove me noggin-first into the ring canvas.)!

(**) Remind me to tell the story of the time Heavy Metal half-succesfully convinced me a cell phone photo of a plume of smoke from a Flin Flon Factory was a "Snow Tornado."

(***) For those of you wondering, Dory's right. For Your Fact Checking Pleasure

Triumphant Return

Got back into town yesterday morning at 6:30am. Went to bed until 7:30pm. Got up and went to the Druid for their weekly Sunday open mic and then back home to bed.

The trip went well. If you're my friend on Facebook, the photos will be up tomorrow. And if we're not friends on Facebook, feel free to add me. I'm easy that way.

The tour was physically and emotionally unrelenting, which was a good thing. Some people go on trips to unwind. I go to push myself. I find plenty of relaxation and contentment in my day-to-day life. I find if I find my regular routine stressful, that's a sign it's time to make some changes.

There were so many stories on this trip, I don't even know where to begin. I was planning on posting a running diary, but so much was happening I didn't get a chance to write anything beyond quick notes (not to mention the fact internet access was hard to come by--heck, over half the crew couldn't get cell phone reception). It was so busy and we were so isolated from the outside world, that I didn't find out about the Haiti earthquake until three days after it happened.

Thanks to the folks who helped get me booked on this trip: Heavy Metal, Eclipse, and Danny Duggan. Thanks to the people who were on the trip. I had a blast, learned a lot, and look forward to applying what I learned in the shows to come.

Speaking of which,

Next OSCW wrestling show is this Saturday at the Hazeldean Dome. Main event is Heavy Metal vs. Eclipse in a Hair vs. Title match. Come see what Heavy Metal learned on the road, Juanuary 23 at 7:00pm.

Talk to you all soon. May All Beings Be Sexy.

Operation: Tell-My-Mother-I-Love-Her (the Please Don't Die Tour)

Off to Manitoba for a week! With Heavy Metal, the Kevin Bacon of Bad Decision Makin' and Rolls Royce of Unwise Life Choices! Still reeling and feeling decidedly unsexy from the loss of a relationship (and not handling it as well as I'd hoped, quite frankly) and looking to get my mojo back by any means necessary!

Nothing good come can come of this.

Except possibly entertaining stories.

Manitoba tour, I dub thee the Please Don't Die Tour, or Operation: Tell-My-Mother-I-Love-Her.

Here are the dates:

Sunday, Jan 10 - Winnipeg, Manitoba
Tuesday, Jan 12th - Gillam, MB
Wednesday, Jan 13th - Thompson, MB
Thursday, Jan 14th - Flin Flon, MB
Friday, Jan 15th - The Pas, MB

More info at the CWE website.

And Edmonton fans, lest we forget:

Saturday, January 23 - OSCW New Year's Glory, Edmonton

Probably won't post much until my return. In the meantime, for your entertainment pleasure, enjoy the sounds of Winnipeg, Manitoba's finest cultural export here and here.

New Google Cell Phone

I don't normally jump on the technology bandwagon but I'm thinking of getting this Google cellphone.

I'm hoping that everytime I've gone too long without contacting my family, I'll go to put a number in the phone and it will go:

"Did you mean: "Your Mother?""

Thanks Google.

Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 4 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Tuesday, Januay 5 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Wednesday, January 6 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Tuesday, January 19 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton

Wrestling Apprearances
Tuesday, Jan 12th - CWE, Gillam, MB
Wednesday, Jan 13th - CWE, Thompson, MB
Thursday, Jan 14th - CWE, Flin Flon, MB
Friday, Jan 15th - CWE, The Pas, MB
Saturday, January 23 - OSCW New Year's Glory, Edmonton

The Tiger Woods/Brit Hume Flap

I'm a Buddhist so you'd think I have something to say about this, but the only thing that really blows my mind is...

Don Imus is on OUR side?

I have to admit, I didn't see that one coming.

Other funny stuff on the incident here.

Winter Clothing Watch 2009-2010 Season

As longtime readers know, my ability to lose items of winter clothing is unparalleled.

This year I made it to December 30 before losing my first article. On the other hand, I hit the trifecta, misplacing my hat and both gloves.

I have not had time to replace them, so I am wearing two mismatched gloves from previous winters and a hat that Bubba brought me back from South America.

If you're wondering about a South American hat's ability to retain heat in a Canadian winter, the correct answer is "Not great, but better than you might expect."

Happy New Year everyone. Best wishes for 2010.

Upcoming Comedy
Monday, January 4 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Tuesday, Januay 5 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Wednesday, January 6 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton
Tuesday, January 19 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton

Wrestling Apprearances
Tuesday, Jan 12th - CWE, Gillam, MB
Wednesday, Jan 13th - CWE, Thompson, MB
Thursday, Jan 14th - CWE, Flin Flon, MB
Friday, Jan 15th - CWE, The Pas, MB
Saturday, January 23 - OSCW New Year's Glory, Edmonton

Coming This January: DAN!!itoba (*)

Just learned I will be doing a tour of Manitoba in January with CWE (Canada's Wrestling Elite)

There's nothing more exciting to me than visiting a place I haven't been before and meeting new people--Except maybe performing there doing something I love, accompanied by some of the best wrestlers in the business (**). In addition to Eclipse, Heavy Metal, and the CWE favorites, there will be special appearances from former WWE stars The Road Dogg Jesse James and Big Vito.

Here are the dates and towns:

Tuesday, Jan 12th - Gillam, MB
Wednesday, Jan 13th - Thompson, MB
Thursday, Jan 14th - Flin Flon, MB
Friday, Jan 15th - The Pas, MB


For more information including ticket info, visit the CWE website here.

(*) With apologies to CAM!!ikaze for the gimmick theft.

(**) And one of whom is trying to adhere to a Forty-Day Celibacy "diet." Bring your A-game, Ladies of Manitoba.

"Twists Off Just Like Lipstick!"

Went shopping for a USB memory stick today. I know nothing about them so I asked the marijuana-marinated 19 year old clerk for a hand.

MARIJUANA-MARINATED CLERK: Which one do you want?
DAN: Which one's cheapest?
MARIJUANA-MARINATED CLERK: (pointing to another option) That one's on sale.

Goodie. I reached for the sale item.

And froze.

This GSB stick was colored junior high school girl electric purple. On the packaging was written in breathless leatters: "Twists Open Just Like A Tube Of Lipstick!!"

It didn't look like a tube of lipstick. It looked like one of those discreet pocket-sized self-pleasuring aids professional women carry in their purses for trans-Atlantic flights.

I bought it anyway.

I might be cheap, but at least I'm secure in my masculinity.

"Silence Helps Perpetrators, Not Victims"

I have no idea where I picked up that quote, but it has always made me uncomfortable. I've always believed in letting others make their own decisions and minding my own business--but I've often worried I hide behind those beliefs as an excuse not to make a stand for what I believe is right.

Which Brings us to..

REASONS I LOVE COMEDY #1 (Being Able To Say What I want) and #3 (Surprising Myself)

The other night we had an unpleasant fellow at the comedy show. I was there on a date, which meant instead of sitting in my usual "gorilla position" where I can see both the crowd and the stage, I was in the back. I didn't think this guy was anything out of the ordinary.

But when I moved to my usual pre-show spot, I saw he was different.

The guy was grabbing at some girl in the crowd. I don't know if they were on a date, or if he had just met her there, but she didn't look very comfortable with his attentions. And he didn't look like he cared much what she thought.

He kept grabbing at her and she kept trying to push him away. If a cartoonist was to paint a thought bubble above her head, it might read something like: "This is the last time I go out with anyone I meet on Plentyoffish."

I wandered by the bench they were sitting, caught her eye and mouthed "are you all right?"

"I'm OK," she mouthed back, which judging from her body language and expression should be translated as: "I'm not okay, but I don't want to make a scene."

I'm familiar with that one. I am, after all, the man who years ago took a gay guy's phone number because I didn't want to embarrass him telling him I was straight.

I was quite irate that no one was doing anything. The whole point of having a date in a public place is to avoid these very situations. There are many things I love about human nature, but the bystander effect isn't one of them. And since I was one of the bystanders--and one of the few who could clearly see what was going on--the person I was most pissed off at for not stepping up was myself.

I pulled the MC, Mike Harrison, aside: "Man, that guy is not cool."

"I know, I know," Mike said. "I'm getting him out of here."

It was reassuring that Mike saw what was going on and was on top of things. But as I went up on stage, he was still getting people together..

The molester continued his molestations.

And that's when I took hold of the microphone, looked straight at the guy in front of the whole club and said: "I'm sorry. Is our show interrupting your DATE RAPE?"

A few minutes later, he was escorted out of the club sans woman.

I don't know if what I did was the right thing, or even if it made a difference. In crsis work, we're taught to be cautious about publicly calling people out for fear of the perpetrator taking it out on the other person later for "embarassing" him. They didn't LOOK like they were part of an ongoing relationship, so I felt pretty safe, but you never know. I didn't see what happened to the woman after, so there are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind.

And part of me felt it had to be said. Maybe to let the woman know it wasn't her fault and that she had support. Maybe to humiliate the guy so he didn't do it again. Maybe in hopes that taking a public stand might make a difference to someone watching in the audience.

Or maybe, it was someting I needed to do for myself.

It was a surprise to me that I was able to speak out. I'm not a public crusader and never have been. I don't see that changing in the future. At the same time, it was nice to know that I can speak up if I feel it needs to be done...even in front of a roomful of strangers and my comedian peers that I still feel nervous about impressing.

In the end, I'll never know what happened. I don't know if what I said was the right thing or even if it made a difference for anybody. I don't know that guy's story or if the woman was okay.

But that's how it goes. You make the best decisions you can and learn to live with the unknown.

That's not just a comedy lesson, but a life lesson. But comedy taught it to me, and that's one more reason I owe this business more than I can ever give back.

Things Dan Loves About Comedy #87 392: Comedians (And Other Funny People) Commenting On Each Other's Facebook Statuses

The Status:

"Dan Brodribb is contemplating taking Dawn's suggestion of naming his man-part "The Truth." Can you handle the Truth, baby?"

The ensuing comments:

Jeff: Mitch Fatel calls his "The Boss"
Adam: Yah, but then in intimate moments you'll be forever reminded of Tom Cruise shouting "I want The Truth!"
Dan Brodribb: Tom can't handle The Truth
Jacqulyn: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i so dont have a comment for this. im just completely and utterly amused
Laurie: I really think that Tom Cruise would very much like to handle The Truth though. I'd be careful Dan!
Shawn Gramiak: The problem is, we all inevitably come to the conclusion that no one really wants The Truth. Because The Truth hurts. Eventually people will ask you to water down The Truth, or bend and twist The Truth to fit their own devices.
Jeff: LOL Mr. Gramiak I tip my hat to your wit.
Dana: The Truth will set you free
Adam: "You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But even God cannot change the Truth.”
Dawn Dumont: Don't give me credit for that - you came up with that all on your own.
Tanya: Or how about little man??
Shawn Gramiak: As long as its not Burning Man.
Shawn Gramiak: I love The Truth will set you free. However, also keep in mind that The Truth is often greatly exaggerated.
Lars Callieou: How about 'A Little White Lie'. A little white lie never hurt anyone.
Ryan Ash: your dick is brandon vera???
Shawn Gramiak: No, but Brandon Vera has sometimes been a...
Jeff: I was chatting with a guy at work and he came up with the best one yet. "Sometimes the Truth is hard to swallow." hee hee.

Dating For Shy Guys Book Update

I've decided to publish Dating for Shy Guys myself as an ebook in order to maintain my most exacting standards of quality control and as a means of taking a personal stand against the ravaging of the environment caused by the printing industry.

Also, that way I get to keep all the money.

Look for more information over the next month or two.

Comedy Entrance Exam (Opener's Edition) - Question 47: Spot The Idiot

Another comic and I were joking/complaining that there should be an written entrance exam aspiring comedians should be required to write before taking on a paid gig.

Here's my contribution, a completely hypothetical situation that has NEVER HAPPENED TO ME PERSONALLY AT LEAST THREE TIMES.

Question 47: Spot the Idiot In The Following Conversation.

OPENER: (an hour before the show) This is a great set-up, but you know, we've run into sound issues in the past, so it would make me feel a lot more comfortable if I checked the mic and sound myself before the show starts.
GUY RUNNNING THE SHOW: Oh, the sound system is great, little buddy. Don't be so nervous and have a drink.
OPENER: (shrugs and drops the subject)

Spot the Idiot.

(HINT: There are two of them)

Hot Chicks & Strangers

I have a couple articles I finished for Suicide Girls some time ago, but never published.

Topics are:

1. First Dates
2. Non-Monogamous Relationships

I'm going to be posting them on my Hot Chicks & Strangers blog over the next couple days.

Enjoy.

Things Dan Loves About Comedy #2995: Comics Amusing Themselves During A Bad Show

Amateur night at a local comedy club. The audience is...less than responsive. To anyone.

The person hit hardest by this is the MC. The other comics do their five minute and are out of there. He has to go back up after each act and stare unblinkingly into the cannon barrels of apathy.

I was not scheduled on the show tonight. I was standing backstage offering support--and by "showing support," I mean, "hoping someone didn't show up so I could go on." At some point during my career, I decided the badness or goodness of the crowd is none of my business. The only thing I care about is getting up there and doing the best job I can.

Ryan Ash was the MC on this night, and he was not having a good time.

RYAN: Man, I so do not want to go back up there.
DAN: You should let me go up after the next act wearing your shirt and see if they even notice.

So that's what we did.

They noticed...although it took them a couple seconds. They even laughed.

Then I tried telling a joke about the movie "Twilight", and they shifted peacefully and went back to sleep.

I brought the next act up and left the stage.

That would be a good place to end the story.

But as a wise man once said, anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

After the next act Jon Ramcharan went up wearing Ash's shirt to tell his own "Twilight" joke.

Jon is black; Ryan is white.

The crowd didn't give a shit.

Finally, Ryan went up again...not wearing a shirt at all.

The crowd still didn't react, but at that point we were just amusing ourselves anyways.

Good times. And I'm impressed by Ryan Ash's chest hair, which is nearly as expansive as mine. Whether it is as luxurious and sable-soft as mine is something I'll never know.


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, December 17 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Evansburg
Monday, December 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling Appearances
Saturday, January 23 - OSCW New Year's Glory, Hazeldean Dome, Edmonton

Not The End, Not The Beginning Of The End, But The End Of The Beginning

Bastet and I are no longer romantically involved. Heartache is an annual Dan Brodribb Christmas tradition it seems.

As was the case last year, I’m hurt and sad, but not as sad or hurt as I THINK I should be given the circumstances. I can’t decide if it’s denial, equanimity, or that I just don’t have the capacity to be as bothered by relationship-stuff as most people. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I put so much thought and effort into romantic relationships is to convince myself I actually want one…or at least get enough practice in that when the time is right, I can do it without screwing it up.

But that’s not entirely true either.

Because--at this moment, at least--I am still love in with Bastet. Which is doubly frustrating because I’m convinced that if I wasn’t in love with her, she would be my perfect relationship.

But that’s how Being In Love works for me. It makes me behave in ways I wouldn’t normally behave. It makes me want things I wouldn’t expect from other people. It makes me put on the other person. It makes me put pressure on myself.

On the flip side, it’s also kind of fun. It’s cool at parties and has a way of convincing you to attempt things you never dreamed possible…with surprising and delightful results.

But for me personally, I feel a distinction between loving someone and being in love with them.

Loving comes from your core. It’s something that isn’t quite thought, isn’t quite emotion, isn’t quite behaviour. It’s the place inside you where all those things meet and combine to form something stronger and wiser and more honest than the sum of its parts. Loving means making the decision to listen to that part of yourself even at times you don‘t particularly feel like it.

Being in love is different.

I don’t trust being in love. Being in love is something that happens to you. It makes you compromise values you normally wouldn’t. It comes on you at inconvenient times with inconvenient people. And it has a way of slipping out the back door when nobody’s looking, often at the times when you most need it.

Worse, Being In Love isn’t very loving. Right now, for example, the part of me that is In Love with Bastet feels like it has failed. It’s hurt and scared and angry and humiliated. And it doesn’t understand why the rest of me isn’t hurt and scared and angry and humiliated too.

So it’s pulling good memories from the past and parading them before my eyes: Look at what you had and screwed up! It’s searching for mistakes like a crime scene detective scouring carpet fibers. It’s screaming about injustice like a tabloid reporter. It’s showing me all the ways I fell short and haranguing me about what I should have done differently. It’s dredging up every fear and insecurity. At the same time it’s pointing out every flaw real or imagined it can find in Bastet, looking for reasons to be resentful or jealous or self-righteous.

It’s hitting me in all the places that hurt the most , asking me what my friends will think of me and what her friends will thinki of me, showing me imaginary slides of Bastet happy without me, having sex, falling in love. It’s connecting the dots between this and every other relationship, drawing me a picture of myself under the caption: The Guy Who Can’t Make Her Happy. It's coming up with clever, legitimate sounding reasons for me to call her and tell her That One Important Thing You Forgot To Mention.

As far as upsetting me goes, it’s doing a pretty good job.

But I’m not bothered by being upset and that’s what makes the In Love part angriest of all. Why aren’t you mad? Look at what she’s done to us! Look at what we’ve done to ourselves!

And here is my answer:

I’m not upset because I love her. I chose to love her and I choose to keep loving her. I also choose to keep loving myself.

Written down it doesn’t look like much. The In Love part of me doesn’t understand.

I don’t blame it. I don’t completely understand it myself.

Loving won‘t fix anything. It won‘t change an situation we both knew was unworkable. It doesn’t clear my confusion or lessen the heartache. It doesn’t make me a better person. It won’t change what she feels. Most of all, it won’t answer any of the questions that the In Love part keeps screaming at me.

But in my own way, I am at peace.

Because I can love.

I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I’m feeling from moment to moment. I don’t know what will happen. But I don’t need to know those things. Love is stronger and wiser and more truthful than I am. All I need to do is to remember in each moment-even this one, which quite frankly, isn't one of my favorites as far as moments go--to make that decision to keep loving.

The In Love part of me can yell and scream all it wants, but I know now that it is lying to me. It isn't "in love." It doesn’t care about love at all. It claims to love Bastet, but it doesn’t give a shit about her or what is best for her. It doesn't even like ME all that much. All it cares about is feeling like it has won. And if it can’t have that, it will lash out, trying to make others or other parts of me hurt like it hurts in order to feel less powerless and alone.

Truthfully, it's not doing a half-bad job. I'd give it a solid B-minus. But I've suffered worse things.

And now I know how to love. Bastet opened a door in me I didn’t know was there. Somehow I found the courage to walk through it even not knowing what awaited on the other side.

I wish I could repay her. I wonder if she grew as much from me as I did from her. I hope somehow she got something she needed from me. But that's just one more thing I can never know, and ultimately, doesn't matter.

What Bastet gained from our time together is up to her. I have no control over it, and furthermore, it's not really my business.

Right now myself is my business.

So I make the decision keep loving. Not just Bastet. Not just myself.

But I also choose to love that In Love part of myself. I can’t fix it. I can’t make its pain go away. I couldn’t get rid of it if I wanted.

But I can love it.

So instead of pushing it away, each moment that it wakes screaming in me like a terminal patient or a child gripped by a nightmare, I sit quietly at bedside, take its hand, and wait for morning.

Dan Uses Sports Cliches To Describe A Chance Meeting With A Beautiful Stranger

I had said my goodbyes to the pretty stranger in the LRT station and was on my way up the escalator when it hit me:

CRAP! SHE WAS HITTING ON ME!!

And I didn't even realize it. I missed a lay-up. Dropped the ball uncovered in the endzone. Fanned on the open net. Insert your sports metaphor here (*).

That didn't used to happen...at least not over the past few years. I don't have VH1 caliber game, but over the last few years I've done far better with women than you would think I should.

A lot of guys say you need to be tall, rich, good looking, and gregarious to be succesful with women. I am none of those things, and to be honest, I think it helps me.

Firstly, it screens out a lot of people I would be incompatible with anyways and makes it easier for me to get to know someone. When a person is rich and good-looking, it's easy to get "distracted by the pretty." It makes it harder to be yourself, either because you're nervous or because you want to impress them. It also makes it harder to pay attention to dealbreakers because well...They're rich and good-looking, damnit! I have to MAKE myself like him. Or at least make HIM like me.

Another thing I've noticed is that in general, the more people get to know me, the more they like me. I would much rather women have that experience than the alternative. Plus psychology tests have revealed that when someone is good-looking, we tend to assign them have postive traits that they don't necessarily possess. We assume they are smarter or braver or more competent than they might actually be...and there's nothing more disappointing that something that doesn't live up to our expectiations. A lot of times--through no fault of their own--those good-looking people have nowhere to go but down.

Suffice it to say, that is not an issue I deal with in the romantic arena.

With me, instead of disappointment, women often report a sense of discovery. "Wow, I wasn't sure about you until I saw the way you X, Y, or Z." I like hearing that. It appeals to my sense of fairness...I feel I've earned what they gave me.

HOWEVER...

It also means I can't and don't expect women to be throwing themselves at me. Quite frankly, I would really love for this to happen. Not forever. But just for, say, four months. I just want to know what it feels like.

Except that every once in a while--like this morning--a woman DOES throw herself at me. And because I'm not used to it, I don't recognize it.

And then I drop the ball. Or bobble the serve. Or miss the big elbow (**). Whatever.

Don't misunderstand me. The Pretty Stranger isn't the point of this story. I'm not necessarily looking for another relationship.

It's just embarassing when something I've always wanted to happen to me does, but I'm so busy believing it can never happen to me that I don't even notice it.

Oh well. I just need to manage the clock better...buckle down and give 110%...we've got a great bunch of guys here and we're focused on winning...it's all about playing a full three periods/four quarters/sixty minutes...

(*) Did you know the average man uses 10 000 words a day? 7 500 of them are sports-metaphor related. If you don't see it, you're just not keeping your eye on the ball.

(**) In honor of the upcoming OSCW show this Saturday at Hazeldean Community Hall, I've written a new article for my sporadically updated wrestling blog. It will be up later today...or possibly already, depending on when you read this.


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, December 17 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Evansburg
Monday, December 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling Appearances
Saturday, December 12 - OSCW Above The Rest, Hazeldean Dome, Edmonton

Nice Article

I ran across this article a couple minutes ago. It's about salsa dancing, but the more I think about it, the more I think it applies to nearly EVERYTHING worth learning from martial arts to meditation to relationships to comedy and beyond.

I am amazed at people who don't think they have to practice something to be succesful at it.

I am also amazed there are people who don't find joy in practicing. They think it's the boring stuff you have to get out of the way (or avoid) in order to get to the fun stuff).

To me, the practice IS the fun stuff.

No More Suicide Girls

Suicide Girls and I have grown in different directions. I'm still pondering those darn relationships over on my Hot Chicks and Strangers blog.

I feel as though I'm at a crossroads with my writing. The places that want to pay me aren't interested in the things I want to write about and the subjects I'm passionate about writing on, few people are willing to pay me for.

It's not ALL about the Benjamins, but I like feeling like the things I write are worth something. I work hard at it, and I think I have valuable things to say.

It pains me to admit this, but I've been feeling uncertain the past little while. I know who I am. I know who I want to be.

But the path that will take me there is less clear.

I'm not used to feeling uncertain. It's uncomfortable.

But it also feels like the right feeling right now. So I shall embrace it like we embrace certain relatives. Grateful for it, happy to see it, but also keeping an eye on the clock.

After all, I have things to do.


Upcoming Comedy
Saturday, November 28 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Grande Prairie
Wednesday, December 9 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Thursday, December 17 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Evansburg
Monday, December 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling Appearances
Saturday, December 12 - OSCW Above The Rest, Hazeldean Dome, Edmonton

Dan On Video

Video promoting the next OSCW show is here. It's December 12 at the Hazeldean dome.

I also have a YouTube video up of a recent set. Because it's shot from a different angle and a different spot in the club in front of a different crowd, it's hard to compare it to this first video shot back in February and see if there's been any growth.

But that's comedy. You never get the same show twice.

So feel free to come watch and see what you get.

Upcoming shows are:

Saturday, November 28 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Grande Prairie
Wednesday, December 9 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Thursday, December 17 - PRIVATE FUNCTION, Evansburg
Monday, December 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling Appearances
Saturday, December 12 - OSCW Above The Rest, Hazeldean Dome, Edmonton


I've never particularly enjoyed watching myself on video. I spent half the time staring at myself going 'do I always hold my right hand like that?'

According to Bastet, I do.

Off to Grande Prairie. The road is always fun. You never know what to expect. Sometimes it's Hot Chicks and Glory. Other times it's nearly running out of gas and freezing to death along a stretch of deserted highway.

Eitehr way the stories--and the memories--are great.

Dogs Dogs Dogs

Bastet is house-sitting for a few months.

They have dogs.

As her pseudonym might suggest, Bastet is NOT a dog person. During the first few days, she even referred to one of the animals as "Kitten," hoping it would start acting like one.

No luck.

They are now "Dog A" and "Dog B." Dog A is whichever one happens to be closest to her at the moment.

I've been helping out where I can, although I have to admit, I love dogs like I love children--other people's are great, but taking responsibility for one of my own is a little too much for me.

I spent all last night dreaming of dogs. Not the Slayer's quiet, comforting dog either (although The Slayer WAS in it). Dogs in my apartment. Dogs outside.

Big dog. Little dogs. Weirdly misshapen dogs with oversized heads and tiny bodies. Dogs with owners. Dogs with notes on their collar that I couldn't read (Because you can't read in dreams, doncha know) but that I knew were things like "We've moved. If you find this dog, please take care of it."

Dogs everywhere, and somehow I was supposed to look after all of them.

Doing a show in Grande Prairie this weekend.

I never thought I'd say this, but I think it will be good for my health to get on the road.

Saturday, November 28 - Grande Prairie
Wednesday, December 9 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Monday, December 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling Appearances
Saturday, December 12 - OSCW Above The Rest, Hazeldean Dome, Edmonton

Comedy Updates

Saturday, November 28 - Grande Prairie
Wednesday, December 9 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Monday, December 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

I also perform most Sundays at The Druid in Edmonton. Shows start at 9 O'clock. If you're interesting in TRYING stand-up comedy, it's a great place to get your feet wet.

Dan Vs. The Witch From Stardust

It's occurred to me that I spend more time talking about the OSCW wrestling after-parties than I do the actual shows...which probably isn't great promotion work

So here's the run down.

The show was great. Eclipse is the new OSCW champion after defeating Heavy Metal. Brady Roberts made his triumphant return. Barricade--well, he didn't WIN his match--but he's in the record books as "not losing" which is forward progress, I suppose.

Also, Big Jess accidentally pinned a referee and threw up under the ring.

Next show is December 12. I actually have tickets this time, so you can buy them from me.

In comedy news, it was a good weekend. I did a spot at the Comic Strip that was filmed. I was happy with the set, and if the quality is okay, I may shortly have a decent current clip of myself on YouTube. BUTCH BRADLEY is headlining there and he's a great comic in addition to having some hair-raising stories about his multiple tours entertaining troops in Iraq.

Say, did you know OSCW has after-parties?

As usual, many ridiculous things happened. We sang a lot, I salsa-danced with the promoter's significant other and had my shirt ripped open by a woman I hadn't met, and 'The Athlete' Alexander Hale and I were hit on by a rather interesting woman, which lead to me saying words that I've heard 93 235 935 times in bar pick-ups but have never actually uttered myself until that night.

This woman looked like a cross between Miss Hannigan in Annie, and the mummy. She was weathered by time and despair, extremely drunk, and terrifyingly sexually aggressive.

She slinked up to me as I was finishing my song and without saying anything, stood inches away from me, raking her gaze--which blazed with naked hunger--up and down my body.

To which I replied classily: "Lady, you're scaring me."

(Big Jess overheard this exchange and burst out laughing. I think he thought I was joking or teasing her. Naturally, I encouraged this interpretation in order to maintain my dignity in front of the guys, but I really was scared. It felt like coming face to face with one of the witches from Neil Gaiman's Stardust)

She then pulled the same move on Alexander Hale. Hale is over six feet tall and 200 pounds of twenty-something main event muscle. This man broke his arm in two places and gutted out fifteen hours of agony before he was able to make it to the hospital.

Alexander Hale is a tough, tough man.

Yet in this moment, he had the wide-eyed, pale expression of a four-year old who has just discovered the Boogeyman is real after his babysitter accidentally left the closet door open when putting him to bed.

And that's when I said the words. They're words I've heard in every awkward bar pick-up situation I've ever seen. I've heard them said to strangers, friends, and even had them said to me. But I've never heard them said by a male. Certainly I never believed I would say them.

But I did. I opened my mouth, straightened my spine, looked that woman assertively in the eye and said...

"I have to go to the bathroom now."

And Hale, without a second's hesitation, said: "I'll come with you."

I didn't actually grab his hand and pull him away like a nineteen-year-old girl saving her friend in a nightclub, but I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't flash across my mind.

(There's a post-script to this story. While the woman was singing her song, "Cold As Ice" William Saint, who is supposed to be OSCW's heartless, vicious, sadistic villain went up and presented her with a rose. And when she attempted to make out with him, he deflected her with grace and good-humour, citing loyalty to his wife. So in the end, the good guys hid in the bathroom while the bad guy made some lonely woman's night. There's a moral here somewhere.)

Open Letter To Evil Criminal Overlords

Dear Sir/Madam/Creature Beyond Human Comprehension:

I have been noticing an alarming decline in the quality of the minions conducting the Business of Evil's day-to-day activities. I would like to remind you that a minion's failure is NOT the minion's fault. It is YOUR fault for not providing them the foundation they need in order to serve succesfully as expendable cogs in your master plan.

Remember, first contact with your organization typically starts with your minions. They are the public face of your organization. As such, they should be well-trained, professional, and properly groomed at all times. Uniforms should be in good repair. There should be no in-fighting or profanity in public, especially when on-duty or around children and families. When attacking they should do so in orderly fashion.

Your minions are a reflection of your character. Please treat them as such.

Sincerely,

Dan Brodribb

Things That Make Dan's Head Explode

(This is a repost from my Hot Chicks & Strangers blog)

Read a post on a message board the other day about a guy who complains that women he hits on in bars rarely call him back. Then later on in the post he referred to women who go home with guys after meeting them at a bar "whores and fucked up."

That kind of shit makes my head explode.

First of all, there's the judgment.

Second of all, there's the weird madonna/whore psychology going on there.

Third of all, there's the fact that--oh I don't know--HE IS HITTING ON THEM.

If you really, truly, sincerely believe these women are whores and fuck-ups, WHY ARE YOU LOWERING YOURSELF TO HITTING ON THEM? It says your standards are either a) low or b) not something you are able to uphold. Neither of those qualities are panty-wettingly attractive.

Fourth of all, there's the fact that HE is hitting on them and then judging THEM when they do exactly what it is he's trying to get them to do in the first place.

Let's turn it over to the Hot Chicks & Strangers Cheer Team:

Gimme a W
Gimme a T
Gimme a F
Gimme a ?

That is the weirdest combination of counterproductive, hypocrital, and psychologically fucked-up I've heard of in some time.

If I were a woman, I wouldn't call him back either.

Conan The Bodhisattva: Film Studies With Dan

I like quotes from movies. Reservoir Dogs. Big Trouble in Little China. Tommy Boy. In an old Edmonton Journal column I once posited--inconceivable as it may seem--that the greatest pick-up lines in the world are lines from The Princess Bride.

Wrestler One (*) and I often amuse ourselves by quoting Transformers: The Animated Movie back and forth at each other. I've never met anyone else who knows it that well. My favorite line is one I use whenever someone ignores my helpful advice. In my best Orson Welles as Unicron voice I say. "Very well. Proceed on your way to oblivion."

Maybe I'm getting too into Buddhism but, I was watching Conan the Barbarian recently and something occurred to me.

As an action movie, Conan is plodding and slow. As a story...it isn't one. It's just a collection of scenes held together by the loosest of thru-lines.

But as a meditation piece, it's awesome (**). Where the Buddha talked about the suffering and the end of suffering, Conan asks the question "What is best in life?"

Every character in the movie seems to take a stab (sometimes literally) at that question. What can one believe in? Love? Revenge? Money? Power? Faith? Technology? Enemy-crushing and the resulting female lamentations? Every person in the movie is driven by their own answer to that question...as is their ultmate fate.

Think about it. The film opens with Conan's father giving his answer:

"The secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts.
[Points to sword] This you can trust. "

It's a convincing and poetic speech, and only slightly undermined by the fact that less than ten minutes Conan Sr. delivers it, he is eaten by wolves.

So much for trusting the sword.

That's okay. Conan may not have his father, but there is no force stronger than a mother's love...oh, wait. She just got her head chopped off by the guy who plays Eric Roberts' taekwon-do coach in Best of the Best.

It sounds crazy, but I'm sure I'm right about this. Everyone from the gladiators to Thulsa Doom to Subotai to the dead skeleton king put their faith in something. And where did it get them?

Watch the movie to find out.

So what's the answer? According to the movie, what is best in life?

I don't actually know. I got bored and stopped watching. If I wanted to meditate, I would have fucking meditated. This is supposed to be a damn action movie.

But one quote stayed with me. I don't know why, but the old king said something that kept me up thinking for a long, long while:

"There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father's love for his child."

I'm not a father. Partly because of circumstance, party because I decided seeking fame and fortune was more important to me.

Yikes.

Now I really HAVE to make it as a famous salsa-dancing, Buddhist, comedian/relationship writer.

After all, if my throne room becomes a prison, then I want to be able to afford a sweet stereo system for it.


(*)Who competes in OSCW, next show November 21 at the Hazeldean Dome, getchur' tickets NOW

(**) Granted, my views on movies are a little skewed. I still believe that the Nightmare on Elm Street series is not really about a dream-stalking monster but about parenthood and the generation gap--going full circle when Nancy, the daughter in the first film, becomes the mother in the New Nightmare. Except for the second one. That one was about being gay.

Never Cry Swine Illustrated

Read the post for context.

Never Cry Swine

Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, November 4 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Monday, November 9 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, November 21 - OSCW Principals of Destruction, Hazeldean Community Hall - Edmonton

Writing
Dan Brodribb writes on dating and relationships for the Suicide Girls website. Current article is here.

My sweetie has been ill with the swine flu.

It sucks watching someone you care about suffer because there is only so much you can do. In my case, I have been reading to her. Of course, the book I've chosen--Eat Pray Love--is one I've wanted her to read for a long time. Naturally, I'm seizing the opportunity to force feed it to her.

There's no audience like a captive audience.

There's also no sweetie like my sweetie. The flu has given her chills so she's spent the last couple days wearing the giant, furry wolf costume her friend wore for Halloween.

She is the cutest wolf ever.

It's kind of weird coming upstairs to see a giant wolf laying sick and forlorn on the bed though. All she was missing was a caption beneath her:

Swine Flu--The Three Little Pigs' Revenge.

Or possibly it should have been a picture sent with a note formed with letters cut out of the newspaper:

"Dear Mr. Wolf,

You aren't the only person who can play dress up.

And wolves have grandmothers too.

Sincerely,

Red Riding Hood"

The H1N1 outbreak has also instigated a round of one of my pet peeves--people refusing to acknowledge their mistakes.

It drives me crazy when figures both public and otherwise either a) refuse to admit fault or b) issue these mealy-mouthed non-apologies. I suppose there are legal reasons for it, but I still get annoyed.

Is making a mistake that bad? Seriously, we've never had anything like this H1N1 thing before. There's nothing wrong with admitting you were not fully prepared or miscalculated how things would play out. Instead they refuse to acknowledge any problems whatsoever.

It isn't just him though. I've met people who refuse to admit they're wrong, even when they clearly are.

Even more frustrating, I've had people tell me that I shouldn't ever admit to being wrong or making a mistake, that it's a sign of weakness or lack of confidence.

I don't buy it. I've always believe truly self-assured people aren't afraid to admit when they mishandled things. I tend to respect and trust a person who acknowledges failure more than someone who doesn't.

And I think a lot of us would in a better place if we focused a little less on LOOKING confident and a little more on BEING confident.

Dance Like A Conductor

I suppose this is as good a time as any to talk about salsa dancing.

I don't think I've said much about it on this blog. What can you say really about something you like? With wrestling and comedy, I often talk about what I appreciate ABOUT it in an attempt to share why I like it.

But there's a difference between appreciating something and liking it. The former is something that you can express; the latter...forget about it.

So yeah, I like dancing.

I also find it frustrating. For the most part, I take mistakes in stride. I've learned enough new things in my life to realize any skill worth developing takes time and that if you put that time in, the results will come. As I used to tell my peers in martial arts so many years ago: "Tenacity trumps talent."

But one aspect of salsa dancing I take personally, and that's leading.

I'm not bothered by my footwork or timing being off--although as a former musician, you think I should be bothered by it. But a failure to lead properly really hits me hard.

Maybe it's because if I screw up a lead, it's my partner that looks bad.

Maybe it's because I've never really been comfortable leading in any other area of my life either. I can be assertive when I need to be, but my 'need' bar is set lower than many. It shouldn't bother me, but I do get sensitive about it in my less-confident moments.

So when I lead a move wrong when I dance, instead of just being a mistake, it's just another piece of evidence of how hopeless I am at taking charge or going after what I want.

I was talking me to Bastet about this, and she shared this link with me.

And something about it hit me really hard.

It helped me realize what I want to do when I lead, and knowing what you want to accomplish is a pretty good first step to getting there. Some might even say it's the ONLY step.

I'm sure I've mentioned in this space about how I want to "do comedy like a wrestler."

After seeing that clip, I know how I want to lead.

New Suicide Girls Article Up

It's on the bar scene. In fact, it was inspired by a post on this very blog some months ago.

You can read the article here.

The Absence of No

(This is a repost from one of my other blogs Hot Chicks & Strangers, where I often riff on dating issues in preparation for turning them into more polished articles. I'm posting it here, because I'm actively soliciting people's opinions on the issue and this seems to be the blog that hits the broadest demographic)

There's an idea a lot of folks in the dating advice biz(including myself sometimes)encourage, especially when we're dealing with the male side of the equation and even more especially when dealing with shyer, less confident males.

When it comes to approaching women, asking for phone numbers, or even "physcial escalation" (a euphemism for everything from hand-holding to kissing to...um...well, you know, THAT), we often encourage guys to err on the side of assertiveness. Better to be too aggressive, we tell than not aggressive enough.

A lot of guys are uncomfortable asking women out or making moves on them. One of the things we try and reinforce is that it is okay to be attracted to someone. It is not bad to strike up a conversation with a stranger and ask for her phone number. You are not a bad person for wanting sex.

We also try to educate them to the fact that women, for the most part, are not going to be mean to you or embarass you for talking to them. In fact, many women enjoy meeting attractive guys. To paraphrase Hitch, "No woman wakes up in the morning thinking, 'I sure hope I don't get swept off my feet by some awesome guy today."

However, some men--some of whom sadly enough are giving advice to other men--take it too far. According to them, "anything that is not a 'no' is a 'yes.'"

And that's simply not true.

The party line to support this argument goes something like this:

1 - Women like sex.
2 - Society punishes women for having sex.
3 - Therefore, any resistance a woman has to sex that isn't an outright 'no' is just societal programming.

In other words, she wants it, but she doesn't want to feel like a slut. By not forcing her to give us an explicit 'yes', we're leaving her the 'it just happened' defence.

And you know what? Sometimes that's exactly true. But using it as an across-the-board argument for steamrolling ahead in the absence of any explicit resistance... That makes me nervous.

I am friends with many women. I have heard a lot more stories about women having sex when they didn't really want to than times when they wanted sex and didn't get it.

Why would a woman have sex when she doesn't want to, you might ask? And if she didn't want to have sex, why wouldn't she resist or say something?

Believe it or not, there are reasons. Maybe she was worried about her physical safety. Maybe she was impaired. Maybe she DID say no and the guy didn't hear it or recognize the signal.

And then there's that whole social pressure thing. While it's true that society isn't always the most encouraging about women having sex. But there are also times when there is an equally strong social pressure on a woman to have sex even when she doesn't want to.

Most of all, I'm uncomfortable with anyone presuming to know what someone else "really" wants. When people do it to me, it pisses me right off. Not only that--even if you have good intentions, it's a dangerous attitude, whether the subject is sex, religion, money, power, or anything else.

I'm not against well-meaning guys approaching women and screwing it up. It sucks to be on the receiving end of these graceless attempts and I wish women didn't have to go through it, but I just don't know any other way for guys to learn but making mistakes.

Most of the women I know have dealt with worse problems than an awkward conversation at a bus stop. If it eases the sting, think of it as a compliment that the guy was interested or as a public service to other women--you're helping a guy learn so he's maybe a little more poised with the next woman he meets.

It's when guys don't take no for an answer--or don't recognize the signals of the 'unspoken no' that things turn scary. And when you bring sex into the equation and all of its potential physical and emotional consequences...not recognizing someone's comfort levels can have some pretty dire consequences.

The absence of no is not a yes. Moreover, deep down, I think we all know this. Telling lies to the contrary--to women, to less-experienced guys, and to ourselves--is a dangerous path to tread.

Scene From A Relationship: As You Wish

Dan and Bastet are concluding a rather tumutuous state-of-the-union discussion re: their relationship

DAN: Well, if you want to break up, I just want to make things as clean and easy for you as possible.
BASTET: I don't want breaking up with you to be clean and easy. I want it to be slow and lingering and painful.

A moment passes as Dan is bewildered into silence. Finally...

DAN: That also can be arranged.

Throw me down a hill and call me Westley.

Upcoming Comedy

Wednesday, November 28 - The Laugh Shop, Edmonton
Monday, November 9 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

I'll be MCing the 9th show, which is very exciting. The MC spot is the most challenging spot on a show, but also the most creatively rewarding.

Sometimes you even get people saying, "You're pretty funny too. Maybe YOU should try being a comedian."

I'll keep that in mind.

WIshing You The Best In All Your Future Endeavours (Joke Training Camp)

Guest spots are joke training camp.

For those of you who don't know, a guest spot is when a comedian makes a brief five to seven minute appearance early on a show. For me a guest spot is the best time to work new material since it's a) a short set and b) early in the show so there's little chance of derailing the whole night if you bomb.

If I do a five to seven minute spot and I'm NOT doing working on fresh material, I feel I'm cheating myself and I'm cheating those jokes.

Sadly, just like in training camp, sometimes I'm forced to make cuts. Sometimes it's obvious which jokes aren't ready for the big leagues. Other times, a joke shows flashes of brilliance, but just isn't consistent.

In such cases, the decision is a lot tougher? Does it just need more stage time to grow? Or is this as good as it will ever get?

It's tough to cut some of those jokes. Many are hard workers, show a lot of heart, and the raw potential is there. They just aren't getting it done. Maybe it's a chemistry thing. Maybe the joke just needs a little work on its fundamentals before it's ready for another shot.

The toughest part though, is sometimes I feel the fault is mine. Maybe I didn't perform the joke well enough. Maybe I didn't put it in a position to succeed. Maybe I'm a bad joke coach/GM.

Such is life.

Thanks for coming out jokes. Those of you that made the roster, you'll see your name on the list posted outside the dressing room door. The rest of you...

...well, like I said, thanks for coming out. Wish there was room for all of you, but you know how it is. Cap space and all that. You've got a lot of grit, kid.

Better luck next year.

New Dating Article Up

New article up. It's on the Progressive Buddhism blog and it's about how Buddhist training can help you with dating.

Read it here.

Slices Of Dan's Life and A Couple Of Links

SLICE # 1

I wanted to write an extended blog post about the OSCW afterparty on Saturday which included drinking, dancing, women, overloaded vehicles, missing wrestlers, Transformers: the Animated Movie quotes, getting pictures taken with random drunk strangers, and the most unconvincing declaration of fidelity ever(*).

Too much happened. You'll have to settle for this moment, which was representative of the evening.

A bunch of the wrestlers and I are wedged in one of the Sanchez brothers' car following Boris' vehicle to our next destination. I unwisely have my backpack with me instead of in the trunk and it is wedged under my chin and into the side of Mentallo's face.

MENTALLO: What's in that thing anyway that you need it with you--the fifteen thousand dollars from the Big John Studd Bodyslam Challenge?
BORIS: Hey, if I'm in here with you guys, who the F*** is driving my car?

SLICE #2

I am giving Bastet a backrub.

BASTET: You know you've gotten a lot better at giving back rubs over the past few months. Have you been practicing?

Dan's brain immediately flashes back to being locked in a community hall bathroom rubbing fake tan lotion on Heavy Metal's back at the past few OSCW shows.

DAN'S BRAIN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAN: I don't know, sweetie. It must be just because of how much I love you.

I'm performing comedy at the Rouge Lounge tonight on Jasper Avenue in Edmonton. If you have the night free, come on down.

OTHER LINKS:

For those of you interested in women's issues, here are a couple links I posted on my Facebook page today. One is from Poetry of Flesh on why she isn't a feminist. The second one is on why women have a hard time trusting men.


(*) "Overall, I've been pretty faithful to my wife." Put that on a 25th annivesary card, Hallmark.