Monday, August 24, 2009

The Glamour Never Stops

The OSCW show went well. It went well for the performers, because the crowd was vocal and plentiful; it went well for the fans because the matches were great; and it went especially well for the bad guys, who--with the exception of poor,luckless Barricade--ran the table for the second straight show.

Who will save OSCW from this reign of terror? I have a couple people on my wish list, but time will tell.

Actually, what I really have on my wish list is a personal groomer for the wrestlers. As it was, I spent part of my night backstage rubbing fake tanning lotion on one of the wrestlers' backs.

I immediately had a flashback to the many women who have said they love the way I touch their backs. This was the first time I've been about to rub someone's back and thought, "Please God, don't let him enjoy this."

Not that I'm insecure about my sexuality or anything. It's just...if he likes it then all the wrestlers will want me to do THEIR backs and I won't have time for my very important, time-consuming pre-show work like testing the microphone and trying to remember the sound guy's name (It's Eric--see, this time I wrote it down).

Okay, maybe I'm a LITTLE bit insecure about my sexuality.

Fortunately, my Magic Touch was going to be diluted by latex gloves, since the fake tan would stain my hands in an unpleasant way.

WRESTLER: You can use one glove or two, your choice.

(Dan reaches for the gloves and accidentally drops one into the toilet.

DAN: I think I'm going to go with one...

The Glamour never stops.

Upcoming Comedy
Sunday, August 30 - The Comic Strip - Edmonton


Upcoming Wrestling Appearances
Saturday, September 26 - OSCW, Hazeldean Community Hall - Edmonton
Saturday, October 17 - OSCW, Hazeldean Community Hall - Edmonton
Saturday, November 21 - OSCW, Hazeldean Community Hall - Edmonton

Dan Brodribb's Geek Love appears every two weeks at www.suicidegirls.com. Current article is here.

More of Dan's musings on dating and relationships can be found on his Hot Chicks & Strangers blog.

2 comments:

Poetry of Flesh said...

I think you should post a picture of this, if you end up doing it again. Maybe a suggestive pose to go along with it. Yes/no?

Dan_Brodribb said...

When you're as pretty as me, every pose is a suggestive one ;)