Monday, December 28, 2009

"Twists Off Just Like Lipstick!"

Went shopping for a USB memory stick today. I know nothing about them so I asked the marijuana-marinated 19 year old clerk for a hand.

MARIJUANA-MARINATED CLERK: Which one do you want?
DAN: Which one's cheapest?
MARIJUANA-MARINATED CLERK: (pointing to another option) That one's on sale.

Goodie. I reached for the sale item.

And froze.

This GSB stick was colored junior high school girl electric purple. On the packaging was written in breathless leatters: "Twists Open Just Like A Tube Of Lipstick!!"

It didn't look like a tube of lipstick. It looked like one of those discreet pocket-sized self-pleasuring aids professional women carry in their purses for trans-Atlantic flights.

I bought it anyway.

I might be cheap, but at least I'm secure in my masculinity.

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