Newest headLINES is up here.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, July 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton
Wednesday, July 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 31 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, August 1 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, August 2 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, August 3 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Dan vs. the Express Bus, New Pair of Singles

New Pair of Singles is up here.

Why does a bus say "Express" if it is not an express bus? Three times I have inadvertently gotten on an "express" bus from downtown to WEM only to take a meandering crawl down Stony Plain road, loop through the various crescents of West Edmonton, a slow boat to China to pick up some Tibetan refugees, and finally to the mall.

The worst part is I keep forgetting the bus number so I can never remember which of the Express buses is an actual express and which is the Transit System's little practical joke on people who believe everything they read.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New headLINES and Comedy Observation

I never get bored with comedy. Probably the two things I love most are 1)Working out new jokes and 2) Discovering interesting things about human nature and crowd psychology. Crowds have their own personalities--each one is different and fascinating.

Last night was a great example of 2). ANDREW IWANYK was onstage doing what Andrew does. Partway through his set, he got bogged down and he handled the situation in spectacular fashion. It was funny, honest, and commited, and it's a place I hope to consistenly reach in my own performances.

The audience didn't know this, of course. The audience didn't know HOW to react to what they were seeing. But I was so delighted, I started clapping.

Here's the interesting thing.

As soon as I started clapping, everyone else joined in. I don't even think they realized why they were doing it. Even Andrew remarked: "I'm not sure what you're clapping for, but I'll take it."

I don't have any great comedy lesson from that moment. I just found it neat.

Anyway, here are this week's headLINES.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, July 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Rambling Thoughts (written Saturday)

The Slayer left today for Toronto. She will be gone for six months.

Watching the taxi pull out of the parking lot, I was 38% sadder than I expected to be. We had a good four months together.

I'm always amazed at the capacity to be surprised by my own emotions.
I like it.

It keeps things from getting predictable.

I don't know what the future holds, but in some ways, it makes me appreciate what we had that much more. As recently as a couple years ago, I never thought I would be in the position to have happy relationships.

Life is good.

Dawn and Dan Go To A Strip Club and Pass Judgement on Naked Women

Those of you who read Pair of Singles regularly know how funny my co-writer Dawn Dumont is (and if you don't, head on over to read our latest article here.

But some of our funniest moments, no one will no about, because they don't get written down.

Last night, we took the Slayer to a strip club to celebrate her last night in town (it was her idea. My opinion of most strip clubs is already well documented. Here and here are a couple of examples.

That's where we learned that Dawn and I have very different tastes in our exotic dancers. Which would be fine except that it turned into a running argument that lasted into the wee hours of the morning as we deconstructed the strippers the way we look at comedy sets.

These lines probably won't be funny to everyone because they use some comedy insider terms. Also, you kind of had to be there--we were getting pretty into our arguments.

Here are some samples--not word for word, but you'll get the idea.

DAN: My stripper is killing.
DAWN: That's because my stripper warmed up the crowd. Besides, I bet she's been doing the same act for years. I saw that same pole move on TV five years ago.
DAN: She's athletic. She's got great stage presence.
DAWN: So you're saying she's the Dane Cook of strippers. My stripper is in it from the art. She doesn't have to resort to cheap pole tricks.
DAN: Your stripper is a hack. I was surprised she didn't ask if by applause there are any married people in the crowd tonight.
DAWN: Yeah, but how good would your stripper be doing if she wasn't selling posters. She's a prop act.
DAN: At least she stuck to her time. Yours was out there forever. The other strippers were in the back muttering to each other.

The capper though was when Dawn actuall overheard a stripper say.
STRIPPER: I'm going to try some new stuff tonight.
DAWN (through tears of laughter): Yeah, they seem like a good crowd.
DAN: Try one new bit and if the crowd's on board, keep going.
DAWN: She's brave, trying new stuff on a weekend. I would have worked it out on a Monday show first.
DAN: Yeah, but there's a pretty strong headliner following her.

You get the idea.

I'm hosting at The Comic Strip on Monday. See everybody there.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Pair of Singles, New headLINES

Pair of Singles is here.

headLINES is here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, July 4 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, July 18 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, August 1 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Living Article Up

It's on books. I'd tell you more about it, but I've got some reading to do.

Find it here.

New Pair of Singles is up

Check it out here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

headLINES

headLINES is up here


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 24 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

Traveller's Attitude

One of the fun things about travelling is it makes you appreciate home more.

I think there is a traveller's attitude: Being willing to explore and not taking things for granted.

But you don't have to go anywhere to experience it.

The other day I went for a walk around my neighbourhood and realized there are a lot of things around the area I've never paid attention to before.

The Slayer and I ended up stopping into a bar. It looked like a dive--and it WAS a dive, but there was a cool mural in the back in front of the bathrooms. Also, the bartender was a really cool-looking person.

I'm glad I took the time to see that. It's a small thing, but if there's one thing I believe, it's that small things are important.

Pair of Singles

Latest Pair of Singles is up here.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

The ToothPaste Incident (and other notes from Montreal)

I like to be prepared when I travel.

So when Lars Callieou told me about how he lost his luggage on a flight to New York, I adjusted my packing accordingly for my Montreal trip, moving a change of clothes, a tube of toothpaste, and my deodorant into my onboard luggage from my checked bags.

I was very proud of my foresight...right up to the moment I ran into airport security.

They confiscated my toothpaste!!

Unbelievable. Apparently, you are only allowed liquids and gels that are less than 100ml. For security reasons.

I'm all for security at airports, and I don't know much about this stuff. Maybe it's possible to hide explosive gel in a toothpaste tube. I watch a lot of spy movies so I'm willing to believe anything.

They're the security experts. They know more than me. I was ticked I was going to have to spring for a new tube of toothpaste (that one was almost full)out of my drinking money, but I'm willing to be a good citizen for the sake of national security.

However, the next thing that happened, made me wonder if our crack airline security might not be as great as we think they are.

They let my deodorant through...so long as it was sealed in a plastic bag.

Two comments.

1 - Would a person clever enough to turn Old Spice into a weapon of mass destruction would be fooled by ziploc?

2 - The reason my deodorant got through was allegedly because it was "less than 100 ml." But it WASN'T less than 100ml. It was bigger than the toothpaste. All you had to do was look at it to know it was too big.

But they let it through. Because it said 85 on the side.

85 grams.

If the people keeping safe the friendly skies cannot tell the difference between a unit of weight and a unit of volume...I'm not sure I feel so safe anymore.

Other notes from my trip...

-Now that I've performed in Montreal and Vancouver, I can officially have myself introduced by the MC as having "performed all over this great country of ours." Now all I need is a show in Halifax or St. Johns and I'll have been "entertaining people from coast to coast."

-Ever want to know what Grand Theft Auto would feel like live? Take a cab from the Montreal airport to the hotel. It was exhilirating and terrifying at the same time.

-There are a lot of strip clubs and churches in Montreal. It's like heaven and hell on the same block. One strip club was two doors down from a dance studio, which I thought was hilarious. They go to school and then they can go three doors down to apply for a job. Studio Octopussy must be the only strip club in teh world where the dancers shake their booty a pointe, French-style.

-As well as being fashionable, most Montrealers are very friendly once they get over the initial shock of being talked to by a stranger. I met a lot of cool people. It was also fun being able to speak French again although one of my language gaffes will make into the next edition of "Things You Only Hear in Bars."

Dan Returns Home (Also: Latest headLINES is up)

I'm back from Montreal. I reached my sister's ("don't worry, I'll leave the back door unlocked") at midnight last night.

The back door was not unlocked.

Chaos ensued.

I will write more about Montreal once I get some sleep.

In the meantime, Check out the latest headLINES.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) appears in the Edmonton Journal's ed online every Thursday. Current article is here.

New Living article and Updates from Montreal

Greetings from downtown Montreal. Let's get the self-promotion out of the way first...

Latest Living article is up here. It's on the sport of curling. What better time than late May for a curling article?

There are also rumours that the Pair of Singles column will be going weekly as of June 5. The current article is here.

Montreal is a beautiful city and everyone here is very well dressed. I saw a woman who had matched her neck kerchief to her shoelaces.

I did a guest spot at the Comedy Works. The show was all right, but I especially enjoyed watching the headliner Darryl Lenox (whose name I had to spellcheck three times to find the correct amount of 'r's in 'Darryl' and 'n's in 'Lennox')I really enjoyed his casual vibe on stage and the fact he takes his subjects in a different direction that you'd expect.

In other news, I am pleased to report that, so far at least, I have not mistaken any women for whores.

Take care, everybody.


Upcoming Comedy
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Things You Only Hear in Bars (Part 3) Plus BONUS Fun Songs

Just a quick version as I'm off to Montreal.

RANDOM WOMAN: I've matured. I don't f*** guys in bathrooms anymore.

Fun Song #1

WOMAN: I can't dance.
DAN: Can't is a four-letter word.
WOMAN: No it's not. Can't is a FIVE letter word. C-A-N-T-E...can't.
DAN: It's a good thing you're pretty.

Fun Song #2

DRUNK GUY #1: I'm T-Mac!
DRUNK GUY #2: I'm T-Roy.
DAN: So, which of you is T-Bag?
DRUNK #1: Yeahhhh, T-Bag! You're T-Bag!
DAN: I don't want to be T-Bag. Can't I be T-Bone?
DRUNK GUYS 1&2: T-BAG! T-BAG!!
DAN: I wish I hadn't said anything.



Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal
Monday, June 23 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, July 17 - Rouge Lounge, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

headLINES and a quick story

Walking through the mall, I saw an attractive woman.
DAN: Hi, how's it going?
WOMAN: Great. Are you rich?
DAN'S BRAIN: Holy crap! There's prostitutes in the mall! That's incredible!
DAN: Uh, no, sorry.
WOMAN: I thought you were the guy I was meeting.
DAN: Wasn't me. Good luck finding a rich guy.

It was only when I was walking away that I realized she was probably on a blind date waiting for a guy named Rich.

Oops.

Here's headLINES


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

The Loudest Slayer In The World

I'm going to Montreal next week. I'm very excited.

I took the Slayer to a basketball game last night. Did you know Edmonton has a pro basketball team?

Me neither. But it was fun.

During one time-out, then announcer declared there would be a prize for a free dinner for the loudest fan in the arena.

DAN'S BRAIN: The Slayer is going to win this one.

Sure enough, The Slayer was on her feet, banging her thundersticks and shrieking and jumping around.

ANNOUNCER: I'm saying who can be the loudest, most annoying person in here?!?!

The Slayer redoubled her efforts, jumping around and screaming.

I had complete faith in the Slayer's ability to be loud and annoying, but I decided to help out a little.

While she jumped around and shrieked and made a spectacle of herself, I pointed at her with one hand, covered my ears with the other, put the same annoyed and exasperated expression on my face that I used as an announcer for Steve Rivers' ring entrance, caught the announcer's eye and looked at him with a pleading look that said "Please, man. Make her stop."

We're going to dinner next week.

Life is good.


Upcoming Comedy
Thursday, May 29 - The Comedy Works, Montreal

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

New Pair of Singles is up

Check it out here.

I can't believe I wrote an article about Sex and the City.

I must shower.

Looking forward to reading your comments, which you can leave below the article.

headLINES, Dating Night.

New headLINES is up.

Also, Dan and Dawn's dating night is tonight. Show starts at 8pm. Tickets are twelve dollars.

Hope to see you there.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

Where Do You Get Your Ideas? (New Living Article)

Actually, it's all done through outsourcing. I got a guy in India who does nothing but ideas all day long.

Here's the latest Living Article


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, May 20 - SINGLES NIGHT - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Writing
Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (current Living article is here
Friday, May 30 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal
Friday, June 13 - Living Section, Edmonton Journal


Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.