Halloween Article Up

My latest Journal article is up here. I don't know who came up with the headline, but kudos to them. I love it.

I also wanted to call people's attention to this article.

Volunteering on the Distress line is still something I consider one of the best things I've ever done. It did more than help other people. It helped me become a better person, and almost every really good thing that ever happened to me happened AFTER I started volunteering there.

So if you think you might be interested or know someone who would, I'd encourage you to give The Support Network a call at (780) 482-0198 and talk to the volunteer coordinator.

RIP Ripper

Trevor Grimolfson, who was my broadcast partner hosting the TV show MPW Madness, passed away suddenly yesterday at 38 years old.

To say we were an odd couple would be an understatement--me, the stand-up comic/writer/internet nerd and him, a loud, larger-than-life tattoo-artist. But despite our different backgrounds, the Ripper and I always got along both professionally and personally. There were times we might have had TOO much fun; if there was a blooper reel of our tapings they would include some blown lines, some obscene jokes, and at one point--if memory serves me--a hip-hop battle.

Everyone who knew Trev has stories about his big heart. I remember him being a big part of Heavy Metal's eighteenth birthday party and making sure everyone got home safely. There were some more colorful stories as well, and the punchline to one of them "YOU BETTER GET SOME MORE GUYS!" became an oft-used catchphrase in the MPW locker room.

Trevor loved his family. He was generous to a fault and would got to any length to take care of his family, his friends and loved ones. I met Tash and Little T on many occasions and my heart goes out to them as well as the rest of his family and friends.

I fell out of touch with Trevor over the last year or so. The last time I saw him was a chance meeting in a karaoke bar, where in true Trevor fashion, he paid for my pizza and rapped out a Tupac song.

The circumstances around Trevor's passing are as controversial as the way he lived. I feel I should comment, but can't find it in myself to start passing judgement or laying blame for either the way he lived or the way he died.

I can say this though.

Heaven better get some more guys.

I miss you Trev.


ADDENDUM - Incidentally, if anybody has copies of the MPW Madness TV show, I'd love to have copies, since I don't have any of our television work. It would be a fitting way to remember the Ripper.)

Big Words, Little Words

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Recently at my office job, I had the assignment of paring down the City of Edmonton's emergency plan for easy reading.

At first I didn't think I could do it. It was incomprehensible.

Finally, out of desperation, I just started cutting words out of each sentenceI am until at last meaning rose out of the thicket of bureaucratese.

THEIR VERSION:
The initial emergency response of emergency services first
responders will result in an on-scene assessment of the situation. If
it is determined that the situation is beyond that of a normal
response, they will (in consultation with other agencies as
appropriate) determine the extent of the response that will be
required to deal effectively with the emergency, and notify the OEP
accordingly.

MY VERSION:
"The first guys there check everything out and then call for help if they need it."

I am a big fan of brevity. So much so, I considered eliminating 'big' from the previous sentence.

Maybe it's the stand up comedian in me. Less words = less confused audience + "punchier punchline" = Bigger and better laughs.

On the other hand, there's something to be said for being verbose. I'm writing a book right now (Dating for Shy Guys). I want the book to be as simple as possible so that someone with virtually no dating experience (like me two or three years ago) can pick it up and follow the bouncing ball.

It makes me realize how simple dating really is. I feel people are going to read the book and go, "Well, duh, everybody knows that (*)." I almost feel like I should add a few acronyms, jargon, and verbal razzle-dazzle to make myself sound smarter and more expert.

We'll see what happens, I guess.


(*) I've noticed Everybody knows a lot. I've also noticed that the gulf between what Everybody KNOWS and what Everybody actually DOES is much wider than Everybody cares to admit.

Dan Hits A Car With A Hammer For Charity. It Was Fun

Here’s one more reason I love living in Edmonton.

I was walking through the quad at the University of Alberta when a guy called out to me: “Hey, man. Want to bust up a car for two dollars?”

I looked at him thoughtfully and said. “Can it be any car?”

Sadly, my car-busting-up options were limited to the Chrysler Le Baron set up on a tarp. For two dollars, I could hit it with either a baseball bat, or a small sledgehammer. The money raised went to the Kidney Foundation.

“The hammer does more damage,” the guy--whose name was Chris--told me. “But the bat feels way more satisfying.”

He was right on both counts.

New Living Article comes out this Friday (Oct 31). It's on Zombies, which is apropos, I think.

Entertaining Links/Serious Links

Couple of the best stuff I've read recently.

Patrick Hruby's column here is funny, although it helps if you're an NFL fan. If you don't know anything about the Favre/Lions saga, go here to get up to speed. Basically, quarterback Brett Favre was accused of giving the Detroit Lions (a team he doesn't play for) information on his former team the Green Bay Packers.

I also really like this column by Ciaran Healy. Not funny at all, but it's good writing, and I think there's more than a grain of truth in what he's saying. Food for thought.

"Screaming Like Banshees"

The Undead invaded Edmonton last night.

And I was proud to be a part of it.

The River City Zombie Committee held a Zombie Prom, which is exactly what it sounds like. We all dressed up like zombies, walked down Whyte Avenue in character ("Braaiins, Braiins")...then took the LRT to Jasper Avenue ("Traiinns...traiins.") and headed down that way.

It was fun. We got some strange looks and a lot of people taking pictures with their cellphones. There were some great costumes too.

I'll post a link to some pics when I see them.

My favorite part was staggering by the bars and liquor stores with my ID held up or 'attacking' a group in a car while they giggled and took pictures.

Shuffling, moaning and groaning has never been so much fun.

Afterwards we went to the Deadmonton horror festival where I saw Night of the Creeps for the first time since Junior High School.

I remember watching it with my friend Chuck and loving it. I wasn't sure if seeing it again it would be as good as I remembered.

It was even better.

What made it an even more cool experience was that Night of the Creeps isn't available on DVD so this is the only way I was ever going to get a chance to see it again.

McDonalds is Open and Other Excuses

This is a quote I read off retired pro-wrestler Lance Storm's site.

"Indy shows always have an excuse for a bad gate: a local football game, bad weather, you name it. Tracey Smoothers had the best excuse, which he jokingly used in SMW. “McDonalds is open, you can’t compete with that!” There is a great Stu Hart quote that I prefer to use, “If you give them what they want, they’ll come out.” Even the best excuse in the world only says fans would rather do something else than see your show.

I love both the Smothers quote (Lance misspelled it) and Hart's rejoinder. I think it's something all of us in the entertainment business would do to remember.

Reasons I Love Writing #2464

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

You can make anything interesting.

Take this blog.

This guy's gimmick is, he's going to listen to audio clips of Eckhart "As Seen On Oprah" Tolle for THREE years.

Wow. To me that sounds crazy and boring and completely missing the point of Tolle's writing at the same time.

Yet the guy is writing about it.

And damned if he hasn't made it interesting.

I still think his mission is crazy and boring and missing the point (*).

But it's also compelling reading.

In the words of my late brother, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, so long as it makes for a good story."

Good luck, buddy

I'll be reading.

(*) Then again, in his defense, "crazy, boring, and completely missing the point" would be an accurate description of MOST people's life paths--mine included.

Latest Living Article is up.

You can read it HERE.

Also, I have a few new posts on hotchicksandstrangers and the Elton John song "I Don't Want To Go On With You Like That" stuck in my head.

Consider yourselves updated.


Upcoming Comedy
Saturday, October 18 - Fort McMurray
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Makin' Movies

I got a small role in a TV pilot yesterday. My role was being knocked unconscious by the butt end of a rifle and stuffed in the back of a van.

At least I survived this time (although by all accounts, I am to be tortured to death in a later scene). Whether I'm a zombie, a thug, or a bartender, my role usually involves a quick and violent death (or in the case of one episode of MPW Madness, getting a pie in the face).

It was interesting acting in a full mask and body suit. It was an interesting challenge because I had to make all my reactions bigger with my body to get across what my character was feeling. I realize not many people are going to be paying attention to "Cleaner 02," but it keeps things interesting for me. My pro-wrestling buddies were right; you do have to make everything bigger when you're wearing a mask.

One of the other guys at the shoot was really cool. He's a bouncer/professional hypnotist/paintball enthusiast. Needless to say, he was a lot of fun to talk with.

And I thought I had diverse interests.



Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, October 18 - Fort McMurray
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Dan's Underground Comedy Tour Comes Above-Ground

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

Longtime readers might remember Dan's Underground Comedy Tour where I told jokes in the LRT station.

Just for fun, I decided to revisit the experiment, telling jokes in public.

It was not like riding a bike. It was tough to do again. I may have to make it a semi-regular part of my practice (yes, comedians DO practice--at least, I do) because I find I get so much out of it.

I did notice people were more inclined to stop and watch this time. Maybe it was the location; maybe it was the fact some of them were lower traffic areas and people are more likely to stop when there isn't a big crowd (If you took social psychology in university, you'll know why).

But I also think some of it is me. My stage presence has improved that people are more inclined to stop and pay attention. Heck, that's what stage presence is--being compelling enought that people want to watch you without changing the channel.

I'm not saying I have the greatest stage presence in the world.

But I'm making progress.

To me that's the thing that counts the most.

The Wisdom of Jim Cornette

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Wednesday, October 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

(I was originally going to post this exclusively on the hotchicksandstrangers blog, but it occurred to me that this applies to more than just romantic partners. It also applies to stand-up comedy, sales, personal lives, or pretty much any aspect of dealing with other human beings)

This is going to sound weird, but a lot of what I learned about romance (and stand-up comedy for that matter) came from learning about the psychology of pro-wrestling. While a lot of what I picked up came from picking the brains of experienced wrestlers, I got some stuff off some DVDs. My favorites are Behind Closed Doors with Jake Roberts and Secrets of the Ring with Jim Cornette.

Both DVDs are awesome, but today I want to paraphrase something Cornette said. He was talking about wrestling fans, but I think it applies equally well to potential romantic partners (or--as stated above--pretty much anything else--db).

Picture your pool of potential partners as one of those circular targets used for archery or darts. Each ring represents a group of people

· The smallest, inner-most ring is the people who are going to like you no matter what you do. For whatever reason, they will dig you no matter what.

· The second ring, is a slightly larger group. They’re the people who are going to like you when you’re at your best. They’ll show up as long as you meet their standards, but if you mess up, they’re gone.

· An even larger group is in the third ring. They are people who will like you if you’re “somebody.” They‘ll like your rich or famous or because other people like you.

· The fourth and final group, is everyone else in the world. They either don’t like you, don’t give a shit about you one way or the other, or have no idea who you are and never will.

Here’s what struck me about Cornette‘s Circle.

1 - You have no control over which circle someone falls into. Some people will like you no matter what. Some people will like you if you’re good. Some people will like you if you’re lucky enough to hit the big time. And some people are going to dislike you no matter what, and there’s no way you can change their mind.

But it’s not in your power to ‘assign’ people into a circle. All you can do is make the choices that feel right to you, shoot for your potential and people will either come along or they won’t.

2 - You can’t tell by looking which people fall into which category. A lot of people I know just assume people won’t like them and don’t even make the effort to get to know them (And on a personal level, this used to be one of my biggest problems…and it still is sometimes).

Once I started looking at things in this way, it took a lot of stress off me. It also gave me the freedom to stop trying to impress people and instead focusing on expressing myself and trusting that the people who are into my romantic type (or comedy audience, or whatever) would find me.

Mental Health Awareness Week

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

It's Mental Health Awareness Week.

Saw a cool show at the University this afternoon. David Granirer from Stand Up For Mental Health was in town to do a show. In addition to doing comedy and working as a counsellor, he also teaches stand-up to people with mental illnesses in Vancouver.

He showed clips of his students and they were quite technically sound as comedians.

Needless to say I found this fascinating. After all, I like teaching, I REALLY like comedy, and I have some interest in the mental health field from my experience volunteering on the Distress Line (Here's the link if you're interested in Distress Line volunteering in Edmonton).

Apparently Dave's students also are in demand to do shows all over the place, which is cool, although the thought that went through my head was, "No wonder it's so hard to find stage time in Vancouver."

For Fans of Zombies and Choose Your Own Adventures

A friend sent me this link. It's fun.


Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 7 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 17
Friday, October 31
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

New Living Column is Up

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, October 14 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Tuesday, October 21 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

The latest living column is up here. If it weren't for my inability to upload video auditions, I might be a reality show contestant right now.

In other news, my supervisor brought her one-year old into the office. He loves balls (Obvious joke here--"What guy doesn't?") whether it's stability balls or those round, paper Chinese decorations. "Ball" was even one of his first words.

If you're wondering why I'm bringing this up, it's because of this old column of mine re: putting the baby on the ball.

Clearly one of us was right and one of us was wrong. Although to be fair, I wouldn't have thought of it had she not told me not to do it (there's a lot of negatives in that last sentence. Sorry if it's confusing).

Yes, I AM gloating.