My sister's washing machine is like the Thunderdome.
Nice to have a back-up sock. It doesn't match any other socks in my drawer, but that's never stopped me before.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Rapture: Is Anybody Else Still Here?
According to sources, the Rapture was supposed to happen on Saturday where God was supposed to take the righteous to Heaven.
Either it was postponed or the righteous are thinner on the ground than one would hope.
I tease, Christians. Although most of the Christians I know were skeptical about the whole raputre thing too. Something about “not knowing the hour.”
I find most religions cool. There’s something amazing about the way we’ve found so many different and creative ways to explain the unexplainable and to give purpose to our lives. I’m not sure which--if any of them--is the One True Way, of course. I practice Buddhism myself, but the absurdist in me would love it if it was something nobody expected so Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Atheists, and the world’s other religious people could look dumbfounded at each other in the afterlife: “So the universe is actually the shell of a turtle being led by a team of mice? Didn‘t see that one coming.”
Lately I’ve been reading a lot of atheist blogs. I really like atheism. They make a great case for themselves and the appeals to reason, rationality, and skepticism really warm my heart. There’s a place for faith in the world, but blind belief is no substitute for critical thinking skills.
Some atheists go beyond arguing why atheism is good and start making claims that religion is harmful. Which is fine, except that their arguments get a little less rigorous, the terms get less operationally defined, and the tendency to use anecdotes and historical cherry-picking becomes a little stronger. If you’re going to challenge the existence of God or gods on rational, scientific, and skeptical grounds, you have to apply the same intellectual rigour to your claim that religion is harmful.
I don’t even know how you would make that kind of a study. First you have to define your terms--for example, is it religious belief that is bad or religious institutions? Do Church-Once-A-Year-For-Christmas folks count as religious? What about people who go to church for social or political reasons but don‘t really believe? What harmful behaviours do religion bring about that are not present in secular institutions? I can‘t figure out how you would isolate those variables.
But I hope they find a way.
Because while many of us with religious backgrounds tend to get defensive when atheists start attacking religion, but the more I think about it, the more I think they’re doing us a favor.
If our religion, whatever it may be, is harming people, then I think we as religious people have a duty to do something about it. I didn’t get into Buddhism to hurt myself or people around me. So if there’s something that we are doing badly, I think we should want to know about it and address those problems.
Let’s face it: many religious organizations DO have problems. Over the years we’ve made mistakes in the name of religion on both large and small scales. There’s been violence, sexual abuse, financial misconduct, mental cruelty, and bad fashion sense…the worst excesses of human nature. Worse, instead of dealing with those problems, we’ve often tried to ignore, deny, downplay, or justify them in the name of whatever we happen to believe.
That’s not okay. Bad things are still bad things. It’s easy to blame religion, but I don’t think religion is so much the cause as a convenient excuse. But there’s no excuse for some things, and no church or set of beliefs will shield us from the moral consequences of our actions.
That’s why I’m glad the louder elements of the atheist movement are there to point things out when we fall short. It would be nice if religious institutions were better at seeing their own shortcomings and policing themselves but sometimes it’s hard to stay objective when you’re on the inside.
Most religions I know of extol the value of gratitude. I think the people we should be most grateful for are the ones who see the world differently than we do, regardless of whether those differences are religious, political, or over the musical and cultural contributions of Lady Gaga. Through them, we see the world with new eyes.
That’s why I’m hoping the Rapture doesn’t happen and the Faithful aren’t taken up to Heaven.
Whether we realize it or not, we need them right here.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Either it was postponed or the righteous are thinner on the ground than one would hope.
I tease, Christians. Although most of the Christians I know were skeptical about the whole raputre thing too. Something about “not knowing the hour.”
I find most religions cool. There’s something amazing about the way we’ve found so many different and creative ways to explain the unexplainable and to give purpose to our lives. I’m not sure which--if any of them--is the One True Way, of course. I practice Buddhism myself, but the absurdist in me would love it if it was something nobody expected so Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Atheists, and the world’s other religious people could look dumbfounded at each other in the afterlife: “So the universe is actually the shell of a turtle being led by a team of mice? Didn‘t see that one coming.”
Lately I’ve been reading a lot of atheist blogs. I really like atheism. They make a great case for themselves and the appeals to reason, rationality, and skepticism really warm my heart. There’s a place for faith in the world, but blind belief is no substitute for critical thinking skills.
Some atheists go beyond arguing why atheism is good and start making claims that religion is harmful. Which is fine, except that their arguments get a little less rigorous, the terms get less operationally defined, and the tendency to use anecdotes and historical cherry-picking becomes a little stronger. If you’re going to challenge the existence of God or gods on rational, scientific, and skeptical grounds, you have to apply the same intellectual rigour to your claim that religion is harmful.
I don’t even know how you would make that kind of a study. First you have to define your terms--for example, is it religious belief that is bad or religious institutions? Do Church-Once-A-Year-For-Christmas folks count as religious? What about people who go to church for social or political reasons but don‘t really believe? What harmful behaviours do religion bring about that are not present in secular institutions? I can‘t figure out how you would isolate those variables.
But I hope they find a way.
Because while many of us with religious backgrounds tend to get defensive when atheists start attacking religion, but the more I think about it, the more I think they’re doing us a favor.
If our religion, whatever it may be, is harming people, then I think we as religious people have a duty to do something about it. I didn’t get into Buddhism to hurt myself or people around me. So if there’s something that we are doing badly, I think we should want to know about it and address those problems.
Let’s face it: many religious organizations DO have problems. Over the years we’ve made mistakes in the name of religion on both large and small scales. There’s been violence, sexual abuse, financial misconduct, mental cruelty, and bad fashion sense…the worst excesses of human nature. Worse, instead of dealing with those problems, we’ve often tried to ignore, deny, downplay, or justify them in the name of whatever we happen to believe.
That’s not okay. Bad things are still bad things. It’s easy to blame religion, but I don’t think religion is so much the cause as a convenient excuse. But there’s no excuse for some things, and no church or set of beliefs will shield us from the moral consequences of our actions.
That’s why I’m glad the louder elements of the atheist movement are there to point things out when we fall short. It would be nice if religious institutions were better at seeing their own shortcomings and policing themselves but sometimes it’s hard to stay objective when you’re on the inside.
Most religions I know of extol the value of gratitude. I think the people we should be most grateful for are the ones who see the world differently than we do, regardless of whether those differences are religious, political, or over the musical and cultural contributions of Lady Gaga. Through them, we see the world with new eyes.
That’s why I’m hoping the Rapture doesn’t happen and the Faithful aren’t taken up to Heaven.
Whether we realize it or not, we need them right here.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Metal and Dust: GREAT WHITE
Great White would have been more appropriately named Very Good White.
There were a lot of ‘white’ bands in those lazy, crazy high school days of the eighties: Great White, White Lion, Whitesnake, White Wolf, White Heat…I want to say White Tiger, but that was a brothel investigated by a badly disguised Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China. White was a probably the most popular band descriptor out there, with ‘king’ being the only possible competition (King Diamond, King’s X, Kingdom Come).
In the annals of the ‘white’ bands, Whitesnake would probably win Best Overall Career, White Lion would take the One-Hit-Wonder category (Though technically White Lion had two hits --’Wait,’ and ‘When the Children Cry’). Great White would place in both categories, but at best as a distant second or third.
That‘s Great White in a nutshell--Always very good. Never very great.
Yet at the same time, until I felt they went a little too far thinking they were blues musicians on ‘Hooked,’ Great White was one of the bands whose albums were no-brainer purchases for me. My two favourite Great White albums (Shot in the Dark from 1986 and 87’s Once Bitten) probably would have placed in my top 10 albums for those two respective years. ‘Psycho City,’ ‘…Twice Shy,’ ’Recovery: Live’ and their self-titled debut were reliable guests in my boom box, and even ‘Hooked’ isn’t so much bad as it is “not really what I wanted to hear.” Over the years, it’s even grown on me a little bit.
Great White was reliable. They delivered good stuff.
And by good stuff, I don‘t mean ‘the same album over and over.’ ‘Great White’ was an aggressive straight ahead metal album. ‘Shot in the Dark’ was poppier and more keyboardy. ‘Once Bitten’ was bluesier, but also heavier--kind of like a shotgun wedding between Led Zeppelin and Dokken. ‘Twice Shy’ turned up the Led Zeppelin influences which peaked on ‘Hooked.’ ‘Psycho City’ was a return to ‘Once Bitten’ territory, only with a nod to all they’d learned along the way. Each album was distinctive though, with it’s own sound. Yes, they were all clearly Great White, but they were also different enough that I never felt the band was repeating itself.
They also did a lot of cover songs, both well-known and obscure, and unlike a lot of their contemporaries, they weren‘t ashamed about it either. They did Led Zeppelin better than Led Zeppelin and their biggest hit was a cover of Ian Hunter’s ‘Once Bitten Twice Shy.‘
Very good. But not great.
They aren’t alone. Thousands of bands fall into this category. Thousands of bands and millions of people.
We worship the great. But what about the very good? There’s lots of them out there. They’re most visible in the entertainment industry where greatness and fame are the only things we have to remember people by--the bands, the stand-up comics, the actors, the writers.
But they’re in our lives too. People who are very good at what they do….whatever it may happen to be…but ultimately, not good enough to be recognized for it. Not charismatic enough to make an impression on enough people or not original enough to break any new ground.
Just…very good.
Maybe that’s why I listen to ‘Once Bitten,’ nearly two and a half decades later. Maybe, it’s my way of paying tribute to Very Good-ness, a way of remembering those who will not be remembered. Maybe it’s a way I comfort myself against the fears of the possibility--no, the likelihood--that most of the things I do, even the very good ones, will one day be gone and forgotten.
Or maybe I just like the music.
They aren’t called Very Good White for nothing, you know.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
There were a lot of ‘white’ bands in those lazy, crazy high school days of the eighties: Great White, White Lion, Whitesnake, White Wolf, White Heat…I want to say White Tiger, but that was a brothel investigated by a badly disguised Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China. White was a probably the most popular band descriptor out there, with ‘king’ being the only possible competition (King Diamond, King’s X, Kingdom Come).
In the annals of the ‘white’ bands, Whitesnake would probably win Best Overall Career, White Lion would take the One-Hit-Wonder category (Though technically White Lion had two hits --’Wait,’ and ‘When the Children Cry’). Great White would place in both categories, but at best as a distant second or third.
That‘s Great White in a nutshell--Always very good. Never very great.
Yet at the same time, until I felt they went a little too far thinking they were blues musicians on ‘Hooked,’ Great White was one of the bands whose albums were no-brainer purchases for me. My two favourite Great White albums (Shot in the Dark from 1986 and 87’s Once Bitten) probably would have placed in my top 10 albums for those two respective years. ‘Psycho City,’ ‘…Twice Shy,’ ’Recovery: Live’ and their self-titled debut were reliable guests in my boom box, and even ‘Hooked’ isn’t so much bad as it is “not really what I wanted to hear.” Over the years, it’s even grown on me a little bit.
Great White was reliable. They delivered good stuff.
And by good stuff, I don‘t mean ‘the same album over and over.’ ‘Great White’ was an aggressive straight ahead metal album. ‘Shot in the Dark’ was poppier and more keyboardy. ‘Once Bitten’ was bluesier, but also heavier--kind of like a shotgun wedding between Led Zeppelin and Dokken. ‘Twice Shy’ turned up the Led Zeppelin influences which peaked on ‘Hooked.’ ‘Psycho City’ was a return to ‘Once Bitten’ territory, only with a nod to all they’d learned along the way. Each album was distinctive though, with it’s own sound. Yes, they were all clearly Great White, but they were also different enough that I never felt the band was repeating itself.
They also did a lot of cover songs, both well-known and obscure, and unlike a lot of their contemporaries, they weren‘t ashamed about it either. They did Led Zeppelin better than Led Zeppelin and their biggest hit was a cover of Ian Hunter’s ‘Once Bitten Twice Shy.‘
Very good. But not great.
They aren’t alone. Thousands of bands fall into this category. Thousands of bands and millions of people.
We worship the great. But what about the very good? There’s lots of them out there. They’re most visible in the entertainment industry where greatness and fame are the only things we have to remember people by--the bands, the stand-up comics, the actors, the writers.
But they’re in our lives too. People who are very good at what they do….whatever it may happen to be…but ultimately, not good enough to be recognized for it. Not charismatic enough to make an impression on enough people or not original enough to break any new ground.
Just…very good.
Maybe that’s why I listen to ‘Once Bitten,’ nearly two and a half decades later. Maybe, it’s my way of paying tribute to Very Good-ness, a way of remembering those who will not be remembered. Maybe it’s a way I comfort myself against the fears of the possibility--no, the likelihood--that most of the things I do, even the very good ones, will one day be gone and forgotten.
Or maybe I just like the music.
They aren’t called Very Good White for nothing, you know.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Thoughts On A Canadian Election
Election in Canada on Monday. I woke up to see the results and found myself staring at a full page picture of Osama Bin Laden’s face.
I didn’t even remember him being on the ballot.
The lesson: when you’re glancing at the front pages of newspapers, remember to check the date.
Thoughts on the election proper:
--The Conservatives--who won--ran a good front-runner campaign, that is to say, they managed not to beat themselves by saying or doing anything stupid. They also went negative a lot, so I knew who they were against, but I didn’t have an idea what they stood for. That strategy doesn't do much to win over new or undecided voters (It sure didn’t on me), but if you’re already in the lead, it’s probably the safe bet.
And it worked.
--The New Democratic Party came in a very respectable second place in a classic Life Imitates Pro-Wrestling Scenario, decisively beating a veteran former champion with name recognition (the Liberals) and unexpectedly taking the champion to the limit and establishing themselves in the voters‘ minds as a legitimate contender. If they can stay over for the next few years, the rematch should draw big money (and votes). I also thought they ran a great campaign.
In fact, they seemed to be the only people running a campaign.
Maybe it’s the circles I travel in, but I heard nothing much from the Conservatives (possibly deliberately, as they were playing not to lose). But I heard nothing from the Liberal Party either (the big losers this election, along with the Bloc Quebecois which was nearly wiped out).
But the NDP were professional, they were glitzy, and most of all, they were everywhere. The internet. Print media. Phone calls. Mail-outs.
Now as an NDP supporter (this election, at least), I was happy to see it and see them do well, but since I am the type of man who cannot resist inspecting the gift horse’s dental work, I can’t help but wonder about one thing.
And that one thing is money.
How was it that the NDP campaign was so much more visible than the other parties? Sure, maybe the Conservatives were deliberately keeping a low profile, but what about the Liberals? They were in no better political shape than the New Democrats going into this election and yet I never saw anything from them. Did they just give up on Alberta?
I can’t figure it out. I just keep thinking about money.
I’ll be curious to see the fundraising numbers for the political parties and how much each spent over the course of the campaign.
-The third thing I think about is the disappearance of the Liberals and the Bloc. The lion’s share of Parliament is divided between the right-wing (and rightier all the time, it seems) Conservatives and the even-leftier-than-the-Liberals NDP.
That’s a strong ideological split. I’m hoping that’s just the way the election played out and not a sign of things to come. A lot of the American political blogs I follow have devolved to people parroting party lines past one another, demonizing and blaming the other side and worrying about winning vs. losing.
I would hate to see that divisiveness take hold here. It’s nice to have people who agree with us, and it’s nice to have someone to blame for our troubles, but those things alone wouldn’t bring happiness and prosperity to the night manager of an Olive Garden, let alone a country.
I think we sometimes overestimate how much power the “people in power” actually have and underestimate our own. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from listening to my 68 year old gold-panning friend’s geology lessons on cross-country drives it’s that time and change are inexorable. Sometimes it happens quickly. sometimes it happens slowly. It always happens though, even if it doesn’t happen when we want it or how we expected it. Actions have consequences and just because you don’t see them or they don‘t show up right away, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.
Some days I find that idea frightening. Other days it gives me hope. But it never fails to motivate me.
Regardless of our political affiliation and whether or not those people are in power or not there is always something we can do. We can raise funds, write letters, make phone calls.
More importantly, we can choose the way we live. We can choose the way we treat others--family and friends, strangers, and yes, even those we dislike or who disagree with us. We can forgive ourselves and others, let go of resentments, and do the best we can with the gifts and temperament we were given to reach our potential, whatever that may be and however others might choose to judge us.
In short, we can be the best people we know how. It’s all we have the power to do, but in doing that,, we can accomplish a lot of great things along the way.
Oh. And check the dates on those newspapers.
You never know.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
I didn’t even remember him being on the ballot.
The lesson: when you’re glancing at the front pages of newspapers, remember to check the date.
Thoughts on the election proper:
--The Conservatives--who won--ran a good front-runner campaign, that is to say, they managed not to beat themselves by saying or doing anything stupid. They also went negative a lot, so I knew who they were against, but I didn’t have an idea what they stood for. That strategy doesn't do much to win over new or undecided voters (It sure didn’t on me), but if you’re already in the lead, it’s probably the safe bet.
And it worked.
--The New Democratic Party came in a very respectable second place in a classic Life Imitates Pro-Wrestling Scenario, decisively beating a veteran former champion with name recognition (the Liberals) and unexpectedly taking the champion to the limit and establishing themselves in the voters‘ minds as a legitimate contender. If they can stay over for the next few years, the rematch should draw big money (and votes). I also thought they ran a great campaign.
In fact, they seemed to be the only people running a campaign.
Maybe it’s the circles I travel in, but I heard nothing much from the Conservatives (possibly deliberately, as they were playing not to lose). But I heard nothing from the Liberal Party either (the big losers this election, along with the Bloc Quebecois which was nearly wiped out).
But the NDP were professional, they were glitzy, and most of all, they were everywhere. The internet. Print media. Phone calls. Mail-outs.
Now as an NDP supporter (this election, at least), I was happy to see it and see them do well, but since I am the type of man who cannot resist inspecting the gift horse’s dental work, I can’t help but wonder about one thing.
And that one thing is money.
How was it that the NDP campaign was so much more visible than the other parties? Sure, maybe the Conservatives were deliberately keeping a low profile, but what about the Liberals? They were in no better political shape than the New Democrats going into this election and yet I never saw anything from them. Did they just give up on Alberta?
I can’t figure it out. I just keep thinking about money.
I’ll be curious to see the fundraising numbers for the political parties and how much each spent over the course of the campaign.
-The third thing I think about is the disappearance of the Liberals and the Bloc. The lion’s share of Parliament is divided between the right-wing (and rightier all the time, it seems) Conservatives and the even-leftier-than-the-Liberals NDP.
That’s a strong ideological split. I’m hoping that’s just the way the election played out and not a sign of things to come. A lot of the American political blogs I follow have devolved to people parroting party lines past one another, demonizing and blaming the other side and worrying about winning vs. losing.
I would hate to see that divisiveness take hold here. It’s nice to have people who agree with us, and it’s nice to have someone to blame for our troubles, but those things alone wouldn’t bring happiness and prosperity to the night manager of an Olive Garden, let alone a country.
I think we sometimes overestimate how much power the “people in power” actually have and underestimate our own. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from listening to my 68 year old gold-panning friend’s geology lessons on cross-country drives it’s that time and change are inexorable. Sometimes it happens quickly. sometimes it happens slowly. It always happens though, even if it doesn’t happen when we want it or how we expected it. Actions have consequences and just because you don’t see them or they don‘t show up right away, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.
Some days I find that idea frightening. Other days it gives me hope. But it never fails to motivate me.
Regardless of our political affiliation and whether or not those people are in power or not there is always something we can do. We can raise funds, write letters, make phone calls.
More importantly, we can choose the way we live. We can choose the way we treat others--family and friends, strangers, and yes, even those we dislike or who disagree with us. We can forgive ourselves and others, let go of resentments, and do the best we can with the gifts and temperament we were given to reach our potential, whatever that may be and however others might choose to judge us.
In short, we can be the best people we know how. It’s all we have the power to do, but in doing that,, we can accomplish a lot of great things along the way.
Oh. And check the dates on those newspapers.
You never know.
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
In Which Dan Tries Yoga & Hears A Ghost
They say yoga fosters spiritual development.
I thought it was an excuse for women to dress up in colorful, yet comfortable outfits. As if they needed a reason.
I tried yoga for the first time on saturday, bending (ouch!), stretching (ow!), and breathing (aaaaaahhhh!).
And as I breathed in and out, as I allowed the spirit to flourish within me and the light to flow from the tips of my toes to the top of my head...I heard the voice of my dead brother, as though the act of doing yoga had enabled me to make a spiritual connection with something long gone.
For an instant, I felt his presence, reaching across the gossamer curtain between the living and dead to give me a message from worlds beyond. His voice, like he was right there beside me spoke a single word.
"Fag."
Yep. That sounds like my brother all right.
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
I thought it was an excuse for women to dress up in colorful, yet comfortable outfits. As if they needed a reason.
I tried yoga for the first time on saturday, bending (ouch!), stretching (ow!), and breathing (aaaaaahhhh!).
And as I breathed in and out, as I allowed the spirit to flourish within me and the light to flow from the tips of my toes to the top of my head...I heard the voice of my dead brother, as though the act of doing yoga had enabled me to make a spiritual connection with something long gone.
For an instant, I felt his presence, reaching across the gossamer curtain between the living and dead to give me a message from worlds beyond. His voice, like he was right there beside me spoke a single word.
"Fag."
Yep. That sounds like my brother all right.
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Odds N Ends
-Stumbled across this article from last October and felt sad.
I've read the Journal most of my life. From the full color comics as a kid (They used to let kids draw the comics front pages) to the sports section when I got older (I used to cut out baseball stats and paste them in a scrapbook) to the books and entertainment section (Dad and I used to fight over the paper, even when I was a young adult).
For a couple years, I even ended up writing for them, which was a dream come true.
Everything changes, I guess.
-In other news, I came across this quote the other day in a novel called Dark Hollow. I had to smile, because it makes me think of relationships I've known. I may have been in some of those relationships myself.
“Men are so stupid, so self-absorbed. Each of them thinks he’s different, that this ache, this emptiness inside him, is unique to him and him alone, and that it somehow excuses whatever he does. But it doesn’t, and he blames the woman for somehow holding him back, as if without her, he would be better than he is, more than he is. And the hunger grows and sooner or later, it starts to feed on itself and the whole sorry mess falls apart like muscle and tendon separated from the bone.”
“And don’t women hunger too?” I asked.
“Oh, we hunger all right. And, most of the time, we starve.”
-John Connolly
Ahh, human nature. It always keeps things interesting.
What Connolly doesn't say is that men (and women) can grow up too. Maturity may not be as dramatic and--in my case, at least--it comes in fits and starts, but we can all get there. And once you've made peace with that emptiness, it seems to go away on its own.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi ~
(The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
I've read the Journal most of my life. From the full color comics as a kid (They used to let kids draw the comics front pages) to the sports section when I got older (I used to cut out baseball stats and paste them in a scrapbook) to the books and entertainment section (Dad and I used to fight over the paper, even when I was a young adult).
For a couple years, I even ended up writing for them, which was a dream come true.
Everything changes, I guess.
-In other news, I came across this quote the other day in a novel called Dark Hollow. I had to smile, because it makes me think of relationships I've known. I may have been in some of those relationships myself.
“Men are so stupid, so self-absorbed. Each of them thinks he’s different, that this ache, this emptiness inside him, is unique to him and him alone, and that it somehow excuses whatever he does. But it doesn’t, and he blames the woman for somehow holding him back, as if without her, he would be better than he is, more than he is. And the hunger grows and sooner or later, it starts to feed on itself and the whole sorry mess falls apart like muscle and tendon separated from the bone.”
“And don’t women hunger too?” I asked.
“Oh, we hunger all right. And, most of the time, we starve.”
-John Connolly
Ahh, human nature. It always keeps things interesting.
What Connolly doesn't say is that men (and women) can grow up too. Maturity may not be as dramatic and--in my case, at least--it comes in fits and starts, but we can all get there. And once you've made peace with that emptiness, it seems to go away on its own.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi ~
(The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Everybody Needs A Comedy Cornerman
Everybody needs a comedy cornerman.
Well, unless you don't do comedy I suppose.
I hate taking paper on stage. Partly it's because I use such small notes, I can't read them well onstage, but mostly it's because it's a personal challenge to myself. Some comics can bring notes onstage and still connect, but I have a tendency to hide behind my notes or keep the piece of paper in my hand, which is distracting.
Last night, I had a lot of specific jokes I wanted to work on. I didn't want to forget any, but I didn't want to bring paper onstage.
Enter: the comedy cornerman.
I recruited BEN PROULX to watch my notes for me and yell out reminders of which jokes I was supposed to do.
It worked well, although it might need some tweaking.
Next time, I'll have my comedy cornerman sit in the audience. That way instead of sounding like he's reminding me of my jokes, maybe it will sound like a rabid fan making joke requests.
What can I say? I like feeling more famous than I actually am.
That said, I should also give him a towel. That way if the jokes bomb, he has something to throw in.
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Well, unless you don't do comedy I suppose.
I hate taking paper on stage. Partly it's because I use such small notes, I can't read them well onstage, but mostly it's because it's a personal challenge to myself. Some comics can bring notes onstage and still connect, but I have a tendency to hide behind my notes or keep the piece of paper in my hand, which is distracting.
Last night, I had a lot of specific jokes I wanted to work on. I didn't want to forget any, but I didn't want to bring paper onstage.
Enter: the comedy cornerman.
I recruited BEN PROULX to watch my notes for me and yell out reminders of which jokes I was supposed to do.
It worked well, although it might need some tweaking.
Next time, I'll have my comedy cornerman sit in the audience. That way instead of sounding like he's reminding me of my jokes, maybe it will sound like a rabid fan making joke requests.
What can I say? I like feeling more famous than I actually am.
That said, I should also give him a towel. That way if the jokes bomb, he has something to throw in.
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
The Mountain
Sometimes it’s like travelling a road that winds around a mountain.
There are moments it feels like you’re going in circles. You look over see the same scenery.
What‘s going on? you ask yourself. I thought I was past this part. I’m walking and walking, but not getting anywhere.
Look again.
The path winds around the mountain, but it is also going upward. Sure each time you come around, the scenery looks similar, but if you pay close attention, you’ll notice you’re seeing it from a slightly different angle.
Sometimes you come around to the same scenery. Sometimes you may find yourself cut off and needing to backtrack or descend before you start moving up again.
It doesn’t matter. That’s still progress.
Keep climbing.
There are a lot of us on this mountain and we all need each other.
Dan's writing on dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Bad Stuff Is Awesome
I'm mystified at how few people acknowledge this.
Why did Tiger Woods cheat on his wife? Why does Paris Hilton do drugs? Why does Charlie Sheen act so Charlie Sheen-y?
Closer to home, why do we and the people we know do self-destructive things even though we know better?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've spent most of my life hanging around with degenerate show-biz types--your rock musicians, your stand-up comics, your professional wrestlers--and believe me, when it comes to self-destructive decisions, nobody does it better. I may have sampled a few of those behaviours myself.
I've also seen the damage it's done. I've also seen the difficulties people have in trying to change--or in other cases help a loved one change.
We know doing drugs is bad. We tell ourselves it's not a good idea to eat junk food or smoke. We realize cheating on our partner's might not work out so well.
And the question we have is: I know these things are bad, but I keep doing them?
I'll tell you why.
Because Bad Things are also awesome.
Sex with Someone Else is awesome.
Getting drunk is awesome.
Junk food is awesome.
I'm not saying these things are good for you. They aren't. I'm saying it is pretty hard to make a change--or tell somone else they should change--without admitting that many of the bad things we do are also awesome.
Think about it. If these things sucked, we wouldn't have to convince ourselves or others we shouldn't do them because we wouldn't be doing them in the first place.
If sex with a new partner wasn't awesome, we wouldn't do it.
If drinking wasn't fun, we wouldn't do it.
If french fries weren't delicious, we'd be super-sizing the broccoli order with our combos.
Trying to pretend these things don't do something for us is dishonest. Worse, when we call people who do these things (and sometimes that person is ourselves) bad, we are making it harder to escape. Because our bad things don't judge us.
Beer will never yell at you.
Food will never titter about your weight.
You can't feel guilty and have an orgasm at the same time (Believe me, as a Professional in the Art of Feeling Guilty, I've tried) and new shoes will never nag you about your credit card statement.
Unfortunately, this is where the trap is sprung. Because often the things that are awesome lead to other things in our life sucking.
New stuff is awesome...but being in debt sucks.
Junk food is awesome...but feeling unhealthy and sluggish sucks.
Things that suck are no fun. So we turn back to the awesome thing...
...which leads to more suck.
So we run back to the awesome...
...which leads to more suck...
And the cycle continues until the awesome stuff isn't even that awesome anymore, but facing the suck is so much worse that we need it just to keep from feeling bad.
Or maybe it doesn't. Heck you can maintain an awesome-suck truce for years, either by keeping them in an uneasy balance or by riding the awesome highs and enduring the crashing lows. And let's face it there's a certain thrill riding the roller coaster of suck and awesome; it's like being in a passionate, but unstable, relationship--where would the thrill of getting back together and wild make-up sex be without the agony of being evicted because she threw your guitar through the balcony window.
There are lots and lots of reasons to stop these kinds of behaviours. We can acknowledge how they affect us and our families. We can remind ourselves how they damage our lives. We can even pay attention to how we feel when we're free from them.
But to pretend we don't sometimes like doing these things?
Let's not kid ourselves.
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Why did Tiger Woods cheat on his wife? Why does Paris Hilton do drugs? Why does Charlie Sheen act so Charlie Sheen-y?
Closer to home, why do we and the people we know do self-destructive things even though we know better?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've spent most of my life hanging around with degenerate show-biz types--your rock musicians, your stand-up comics, your professional wrestlers--and believe me, when it comes to self-destructive decisions, nobody does it better. I may have sampled a few of those behaviours myself.
I've also seen the damage it's done. I've also seen the difficulties people have in trying to change--or in other cases help a loved one change.
We know doing drugs is bad. We tell ourselves it's not a good idea to eat junk food or smoke. We realize cheating on our partner's might not work out so well.
And the question we have is: I know these things are bad, but I keep doing them?
I'll tell you why.
Because Bad Things are also awesome.
Sex with Someone Else is awesome.
Getting drunk is awesome.
Junk food is awesome.
I'm not saying these things are good for you. They aren't. I'm saying it is pretty hard to make a change--or tell somone else they should change--without admitting that many of the bad things we do are also awesome.
Think about it. If these things sucked, we wouldn't have to convince ourselves or others we shouldn't do them because we wouldn't be doing them in the first place.
If sex with a new partner wasn't awesome, we wouldn't do it.
If drinking wasn't fun, we wouldn't do it.
If french fries weren't delicious, we'd be super-sizing the broccoli order with our combos.
Trying to pretend these things don't do something for us is dishonest. Worse, when we call people who do these things (and sometimes that person is ourselves) bad, we are making it harder to escape. Because our bad things don't judge us.
Beer will never yell at you.
Food will never titter about your weight.
You can't feel guilty and have an orgasm at the same time (Believe me, as a Professional in the Art of Feeling Guilty, I've tried) and new shoes will never nag you about your credit card statement.
Unfortunately, this is where the trap is sprung. Because often the things that are awesome lead to other things in our life sucking.
New stuff is awesome...but being in debt sucks.
Junk food is awesome...but feeling unhealthy and sluggish sucks.
Things that suck are no fun. So we turn back to the awesome thing...
...which leads to more suck.
So we run back to the awesome...
...which leads to more suck...
And the cycle continues until the awesome stuff isn't even that awesome anymore, but facing the suck is so much worse that we need it just to keep from feeling bad.
Or maybe it doesn't. Heck you can maintain an awesome-suck truce for years, either by keeping them in an uneasy balance or by riding the awesome highs and enduring the crashing lows. And let's face it there's a certain thrill riding the roller coaster of suck and awesome; it's like being in a passionate, but unstable, relationship--where would the thrill of getting back together and wild make-up sex be without the agony of being evicted because she threw your guitar through the balcony window.
There are lots and lots of reasons to stop these kinds of behaviours. We can acknowledge how they affect us and our families. We can remind ourselves how they damage our lives. We can even pay attention to how we feel when we're free from them.
But to pretend we don't sometimes like doing these things?
Let's not kid ourselves.
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Big Jess Is A Ladies' Man & The Vito Situation
Big Jess is a ladies man.
At the bar after the RCW show in Leduc he was talking to a young woman and her boyfriend physically grabbed her and steered her away.
Wow.
Big Jess must have some powerful man mojo to inspire that kind of fear in other guys.
Maybe he's been reading my book. But when you're that good, maybe you don't need it.
AJ Sanchez was there this weekend and found a clip on the internet from the CWE tour of The Pas last January.
I'm most delighted that there is footage of my intro of Big Vito. Vito is a most interesting person and got on my case for most of the tour because he was particular about the way I introduced him.
Finally in Flin Flon, I got on the internet, wikipediad his credits and wrote them down. On the last show in Le Pas, I channeled my inner Chris Jericho(Check out this clip if you don't know what I mean) and read them all out including Vito's German toughman victory and his (accidental) pinfall of Mitsuhara Misawa in Japan.
It took nearly the entire length of Vito's intro music (especially since in my tribute to Jericho's "armbar" speech, I kept repeating "ECW!") It was Danny Duggan who insisted I include "and most importantly XWF" at the end--I guess you always want to save the best for last.
I don't know what makes me more proud. The fact that I did it or the fact that Nate Bush, Vito's opponent that night, had to leave the ring and hide his face he was laughing so hard. "Every time you paused, I thought you were done and then you just kept going," he later told me.
Anyway, AJ pointed out that the end of my intro is on the clip HERE (around 5:09). Thank, AJ for tracking it down. I am delighted to see my moment of glory survived in a form other than just a memory.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Tuesday, February 1 - The Hydeaway, Edmonton
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Join The Heart Way Support Group on Facebook here.
At the bar after the RCW show in Leduc he was talking to a young woman and her boyfriend physically grabbed her and steered her away.
Wow.
Big Jess must have some powerful man mojo to inspire that kind of fear in other guys.
Maybe he's been reading my book. But when you're that good, maybe you don't need it.
AJ Sanchez was there this weekend and found a clip on the internet from the CWE tour of The Pas last January.
I'm most delighted that there is footage of my intro of Big Vito. Vito is a most interesting person and got on my case for most of the tour because he was particular about the way I introduced him.
Finally in Flin Flon, I got on the internet, wikipediad his credits and wrote them down. On the last show in Le Pas, I channeled my inner Chris Jericho(Check out this clip if you don't know what I mean) and read them all out including Vito's German toughman victory and his (accidental) pinfall of Mitsuhara Misawa in Japan.
It took nearly the entire length of Vito's intro music (especially since in my tribute to Jericho's "armbar" speech, I kept repeating "ECW!") It was Danny Duggan who insisted I include "and most importantly XWF" at the end--I guess you always want to save the best for last.
I don't know what makes me more proud. The fact that I did it or the fact that Nate Bush, Vito's opponent that night, had to leave the ring and hide his face he was laughing so hard. "Every time you paused, I thought you were done and then you just kept going," he later told me.
Anyway, AJ pointed out that the end of my intro is on the clip HERE (around 5:09). Thank, AJ for tracking it down. I am delighted to see my moment of glory survived in a form other than just a memory.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Tuesday, February 1 - The Hydeaway, Edmonton
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Join The Heart Way Support Group on Facebook here.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Busy Week
Next Heart Way Meeting is Tuesday, February 1
As well I'll be doing comedy at the Bus People show at the Hydeaway in Edmonton February 1
This weekend also marks my return to wrestling.
Jan 28 - RCW New Year's Retribution, Leduc
Jan 29 - RCW - Wetaskiwin.
In honor of my return to wrestling, I was thinking of posting another wrestling story from the good old days of wrestling.
Then I rememebered. Tomorrow, THESE will be the good old days.
Enough old stories. This week, we create some new ones.
Hope you'll be a part of them.
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Join The Heart Way Support Group on Facebook here.
As well I'll be doing comedy at the Bus People show at the Hydeaway in Edmonton February 1
This weekend also marks my return to wrestling.
Jan 28 - RCW New Year's Retribution, Leduc
Jan 29 - RCW - Wetaskiwin.
In honor of my return to wrestling, I was thinking of posting another wrestling story from the good old days of wrestling.
Then I rememebered. Tomorrow, THESE will be the good old days.
Enough old stories. This week, we create some new ones.
Hope you'll be a part of them.
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.
Join The Heart Way Support Group on Facebook here.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
No Time To Blog
Why not, you ask?
Well...I've been doing work. Very important work. For example, just yesterday I was trying to think of my favorite disease-themed songs from the eighties. I came up with "Spreading the Disease" by Queensryche, "Leper Messiah" by Metallica, and my favorite, the nearly-forgotten " Malaria" by LA Guns. Then I got distracted trying to remember if Infectious Grooves was late-80s or early nineties and wondering if mental disorders no longer recognized as disorders qualified as diseases so I could include Def Leppard's "Hysteria."
And that led me to wondering about a "Bad Boys in the title" themed playlist ("Bad Boys" by Great White, "Bad Boy" by Lita Ford (technically this came out in 1990), "Bad Boys" by Whitesnake, "#1 Bad Boy" by Poison, and "Bad Boys Running Wild" by the Scorpions topped the list--with "Good Girl" by the Bullet Boys tacked on for contrasts sake) which led me to wondering if Wham! had a song called "Bad Boys" or if I was confusing it with Duran Duran's "Wild Boys". As it turns out they (Wham!) do.
Also have been having dreams lately. First there was the one about living in the remains of a flooded city and trying to piece the history together. Then there was the one about the retired senior citizen hitman tracking down a woman who got away to apologize.
And just last night I had a dream about doing a comedy show in which the headliner made a joke about how mad carpenters got when people mis-used hammers as toy guns. And during my set I used the tag line "In space, no one can hear your blue balls."
Which I kind of think is a funny collection of words and I'd like to use it. It's not often in comedy you start with the punchline and then try and write a joke to fit it, but I don't have to explain my creativity to you, man.
Oh. And I have yet to find a Christmas present for my mom.
So as you can see, I am extremely busy man and have no time to blog.
None at all.
Not even a minute.
See you at the show December 20 (The Comic Strip). Next Heart Way meeting is January 11.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Well...I've been doing work. Very important work. For example, just yesterday I was trying to think of my favorite disease-themed songs from the eighties. I came up with "Spreading the Disease" by Queensryche, "Leper Messiah" by Metallica, and my favorite, the nearly-forgotten " Malaria" by LA Guns. Then I got distracted trying to remember if Infectious Grooves was late-80s or early nineties and wondering if mental disorders no longer recognized as disorders qualified as diseases so I could include Def Leppard's "Hysteria."
And that led me to wondering about a "Bad Boys in the title" themed playlist ("Bad Boys" by Great White, "Bad Boy" by Lita Ford (technically this came out in 1990), "Bad Boys" by Whitesnake, "#1 Bad Boy" by Poison, and "Bad Boys Running Wild" by the Scorpions topped the list--with "Good Girl" by the Bullet Boys tacked on for contrasts sake) which led me to wondering if Wham! had a song called "Bad Boys" or if I was confusing it with Duran Duran's "Wild Boys". As it turns out they (Wham!) do.
Also have been having dreams lately. First there was the one about living in the remains of a flooded city and trying to piece the history together. Then there was the one about the retired senior citizen hitman tracking down a woman who got away to apologize.
And just last night I had a dream about doing a comedy show in which the headliner made a joke about how mad carpenters got when people mis-used hammers as toy guns. And during my set I used the tag line "In space, no one can hear your blue balls."
Which I kind of think is a funny collection of words and I'd like to use it. It's not often in comedy you start with the punchline and then try and write a joke to fit it, but I don't have to explain my creativity to you, man.
Oh. And I have yet to find a Christmas present for my mom.
So as you can see, I am extremely busy man and have no time to blog.
None at all.
Not even a minute.
See you at the show December 20 (The Comic Strip). Next Heart Way meeting is January 11.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
December of the Year Of Our Lord 2010
Can't believe it's December already.
Seems like just a moment it was January and I was riding in a van through a snowstorm at 3am with AJ and JJ Sanchez, and Cliff Corleone.
And 2010.Weird.
I thought we'd have a Mars colony by now.
Maybe next year.
Seems like just a moment it was January and I was riding in a van through a snowstorm at 3am with AJ and JJ Sanchez, and Cliff Corleone.
And 2010.Weird.
I thought we'd have a Mars colony by now.
Maybe next year.
Monday, November 22, 2010
An Open Letter to CFL Announcers
We've noticed one of you has fallen in love with the term "YAC Yards" and is using it profusely throughout your broadcast, pronouncing it Yak-Yards.
There are two reasons you sound stupid doing this.
1 -YAC stands for "Yards After Catch." So what you are saying is Yards After Catch Yards." Which is redundant.
2 - You are a grown man.
Please stop embarassing yourself.
Sincerely,
The Brodribb Males
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
There are two reasons you sound stupid doing this.
1 -YAC stands for "Yards After Catch." So what you are saying is Yards After Catch Yards." Which is redundant.
2 - You are a grown man.
Please stop embarassing yourself.
Sincerely,
The Brodribb Males
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Made The Paper.
An article about love and self-deprecating humour. And there's a picture of me in my sweet, sweet, Transformers t-shirt.
"For Love and Self-Deprecating Humour" should be on my family coat-of-arms.
Article is here.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
"For Love and Self-Deprecating Humour" should be on my family coat-of-arms.
Article is here.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Reading Abstience
I'm on the fourth day of my book absitinence experiment.
In that time, I've bought three pairs of jeans, a tshirt, several dozen songs on itunes, and barely resisted the urge to pick up a PS3 and several games.
Maybe it's time to go back to the library...before I go broke.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
In that time, I've bought three pairs of jeans, a tshirt, several dozen songs on itunes, and barely resisted the urge to pick up a PS3 and several games.
Maybe it's time to go back to the library...before I go broke.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Dan vs. The Future
Vasalissa got me an ipod for my birthday.
I spent the next hour digging through CDs stressing myself out trying to decide which songs needed to go on it IMMEDIATELY. I ended up with piles of "Yes", "Nos", and "Unsures" blocking the entire apartment.
It was strange. One moment I was indifferent to the fact such technology existed, the next I was tying myself into knots deciding which songs had to go on it RIGHT NOW!!!!
I'm already thinking of getting a machine that will transfer music from casettes to some kind of electronic form.
Because music isn't just music. It's pieces of memory. Each CD I picked up, I wasn't holding a piece of plastic, it was the soundtrack to part of my life--here an all night drive to Manitoba with a couple of pro wrestlers; there's my student teaching experience; hey, look, this is the novel I wrote fifteen years ago or my taekwon-do workout music; the night shift at a video store or the hospital or the Support Network; the first girl I kissed; the first girl I WANTED to kiss and so much more.
It's more than music. It's my life.
Meanwhile, I've decided my addiction to the printed word has become unmanageable. As a small experiment, I've decided to go a week or so without reading.
I'm already experiencing pangs of withdrawal.
I spent the next hour digging through CDs stressing myself out trying to decide which songs needed to go on it IMMEDIATELY. I ended up with piles of "Yes", "Nos", and "Unsures" blocking the entire apartment.
It was strange. One moment I was indifferent to the fact such technology existed, the next I was tying myself into knots deciding which songs had to go on it RIGHT NOW!!!!
I'm already thinking of getting a machine that will transfer music from casettes to some kind of electronic form.
Because music isn't just music. It's pieces of memory. Each CD I picked up, I wasn't holding a piece of plastic, it was the soundtrack to part of my life--here an all night drive to Manitoba with a couple of pro wrestlers; there's my student teaching experience; hey, look, this is the novel I wrote fifteen years ago or my taekwon-do workout music; the night shift at a video store or the hospital or the Support Network; the first girl I kissed; the first girl I WANTED to kiss and so much more.
It's more than music. It's my life.
Meanwhile, I've decided my addiction to the printed word has become unmanageable. As a small experiment, I've decided to go a week or so without reading.
I'm already experiencing pangs of withdrawal.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Bungee Jumping, Elk Calls, and the Last Few Days
Today: Found a hole in the butt of my jeans.
Saturday: Bungee jumped for the first time.
Last Thursday: Dawn demonstrated her elk call in a loud bar which caused the bouncer and waitress to run over an look at me suspiciously.
Tonight: Heart Way Meeting.
Bungee jumping was fun. As a meditator, it's always interesting to watch you mind and see when you felt fear and how bad it was.
For me it wasn't bad. I had a moment of second thoughts waiting for the appointed time but it wasn't too bad. I was calm, cool and collected.
Vasalissa, on the other hand, was excited enough for both of us, bouncing up and down and barely able to contain herself.
We went to the top, got our instructions. I remained calm, even as they were strapping me in.
Even as the jumpmaster told me to go...
...even as I ran for the jump-off point.
..until the moment I reached the very edge, at which point I had an "EEK!" moment, curling backwards, pulling one foot in the air and going up on my tippy-toes like an elephant confronted by a very ferocious mouse.
Physics, however, would not be denied. I was carried forward off the edge by momentum, but that split-second hesitation meant I took to the air in a most dignified pose.
The fall was a rush. Terrifying, but cool.
As I bounced upward at the end of the rope, I thought, "That was pretty cool. I thought I'd be more scared."
Then I WAS scared as I reached the top of the bounce and fell again.
Nobody told me about the bouncing.
Once I got used to it, it was fun. Elevator drop in the stomach, the stop and bounce upwards, the feeling of weightlessness at the top of the bounce (WHEE!) before you fell again.
When I was finished, I watched Vasalissa jump. Her take off was much more graceful than I.
Afterwards, walking through the mall (We bungee-jumped in a Mall! We're Xtreme Mall Rats!) she looked around at the shuffling, shopping masses and said, "Don't they know what we did? I just want to grab them and shake them."
I remember that kind of excitement from mountain climbing. The first time I went with my sister-in-law, I remember walking back into the tourist center, looking at everyone else and thinking "these people have no idea of how it feels to be alive."
For the record, it feels awesome.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
Saturday: Bungee jumped for the first time.
Last Thursday: Dawn demonstrated her elk call in a loud bar which caused the bouncer and waitress to run over an look at me suspiciously.
Tonight: Heart Way Meeting.
Bungee jumping was fun. As a meditator, it's always interesting to watch you mind and see when you felt fear and how bad it was.
For me it wasn't bad. I had a moment of second thoughts waiting for the appointed time but it wasn't too bad. I was calm, cool and collected.
Vasalissa, on the other hand, was excited enough for both of us, bouncing up and down and barely able to contain herself.
We went to the top, got our instructions. I remained calm, even as they were strapping me in.
Even as the jumpmaster told me to go...
...even as I ran for the jump-off point.
..until the moment I reached the very edge, at which point I had an "EEK!" moment, curling backwards, pulling one foot in the air and going up on my tippy-toes like an elephant confronted by a very ferocious mouse.
Physics, however, would not be denied. I was carried forward off the edge by momentum, but that split-second hesitation meant I took to the air in a most dignified pose.
The fall was a rush. Terrifying, but cool.
As I bounced upward at the end of the rope, I thought, "That was pretty cool. I thought I'd be more scared."
Then I WAS scared as I reached the top of the bounce and fell again.
Nobody told me about the bouncing.
Once I got used to it, it was fun. Elevator drop in the stomach, the stop and bounce upwards, the feeling of weightlessness at the top of the bounce (WHEE!) before you fell again.
When I was finished, I watched Vasalissa jump. Her take off was much more graceful than I.
Afterwards, walking through the mall (We bungee-jumped in a Mall! We're Xtreme Mall Rats!) she looked around at the shuffling, shopping masses and said, "Don't they know what we did? I just want to grab them and shake them."
I remember that kind of excitement from mountain climbing. The first time I went with my sister-in-law, I remember walking back into the tourist center, looking at everyone else and thinking "these people have no idea of how it feels to be alive."
For the record, it feels awesome.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Time Share Babies, Flirt Rust & The Heart Way
My girlfriend and I have come up with the idea for Time Share babies. Twenty-six couples. One baby. Two weeks out of the year.
It's parenting for commitment-phobes. And if you start to miss the collective baby, you can always check the little bundle's progress on the communal Facebook group.
I think it's a great idea. It takes a village after all.
*********
Dawn's back in town and we went out to the bar a couple nights ago. I've had a girlfriend for six months and I can no longer flirt. This really bothered me.
DAN: I can't flirt anymore. See that girl over there. I couldn't hit on her if my life depends on it.
DAWN: Why would you want to? Your girlfriend is way prettier than she is.
DAN: (mournfully) Doesn't matter.
DAWN: And here I was starting to believe there were still good guys out there.
DAN: I'm romantically unarmed. I've lost it, Dawn. But you know what? You're right. I have a great girlfriend. What does it matter that I've lost the ability to walk up to a strange woman and tell her she has pretty eyes. My seductive abilities have atrophied, and I DON'T CARE!!!
(A Hot Brunette at the bar next to DAN looks over at this)
DAN: (touching Hot Brunette's shoulder) I do care, baby. I just tell people I don't because I get scared inside.
Hot Brunette gives a tight smile and hurries away with her drinks.
DAN: She deserved better than that. That was a poor effort.
Dawn and I have also came up with a sketch about a woman getting drunk and picking up a guy at the bar when she's still hooked on someone else.
DRUNK GIRL: You're cute. What's your name?
GUY: Derek.
DRUNK GIRL: No it's not. You're Steve.
GUY: But...
DRUNK GIRL: Your name is Steve...you work at my office....and you DON'T have a girlfriend...and you love me and think I'm pretty and want to have my babies.
GUY: I...
DRUNK GIRL: Make out with me now, Steve.
Dawn and I really should have our own show.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
It's parenting for commitment-phobes. And if you start to miss the collective baby, you can always check the little bundle's progress on the communal Facebook group.
I think it's a great idea. It takes a village after all.
*********
Dawn's back in town and we went out to the bar a couple nights ago. I've had a girlfriend for six months and I can no longer flirt. This really bothered me.
DAN: I can't flirt anymore. See that girl over there. I couldn't hit on her if my life depends on it.
DAWN: Why would you want to? Your girlfriend is way prettier than she is.
DAN: (mournfully) Doesn't matter.
DAWN: And here I was starting to believe there were still good guys out there.
DAN: I'm romantically unarmed. I've lost it, Dawn. But you know what? You're right. I have a great girlfriend. What does it matter that I've lost the ability to walk up to a strange woman and tell her she has pretty eyes. My seductive abilities have atrophied, and I DON'T CARE!!!
(A Hot Brunette at the bar next to DAN looks over at this)
DAN: (touching Hot Brunette's shoulder) I do care, baby. I just tell people I don't because I get scared inside.
Hot Brunette gives a tight smile and hurries away with her drinks.
DAN: She deserved better than that. That was a poor effort.
Dawn and I have also came up with a sketch about a woman getting drunk and picking up a guy at the bar when she's still hooked on someone else.
DRUNK GIRL: You're cute. What's your name?
GUY: Derek.
DRUNK GIRL: No it's not. You're Steve.
GUY: But...
DRUNK GIRL: Your name is Steve...you work at my office....and you DON'T have a girlfriend...and you love me and think I'm pretty and want to have my babies.
GUY: I...
DRUNK GIRL: Make out with me now, Steve.
Dawn and I really should have our own show.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Halloween Odds and Ends
Saw a 4 year old dressed as a firefighter this halloween. Which was appropriate because his mom was SMOKIN'
Lines like these are why I'm the Gateway Boyfriend, folks. Do not try this kind of awesomeness at home.
In other news, my girlfriend has decided next year she wants a dog costume with black robes, a powdered wig and a gavel so she can go as a "judgmental bitch."
She's pretty awesome.
Lines like these are why I'm the Gateway Boyfriend, folks. Do not try this kind of awesomeness at home.
In other news, my girlfriend has decided next year she wants a dog costume with black robes, a powdered wig and a gavel so she can go as a "judgmental bitch."
She's pretty awesome.
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