The Pick-Up Artist Wore Khaki

"You're not your F***ing khakis"
-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
-Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Read on. It will all become clear.

But first...

Upcoming Comedy
Tuesday, February 18 - Timms Centre, (SHAW TV taping)
Tuesday, February 26 - The Comic Strip
Wednesday, February 27 - The Comic Strip
Thursday, February 28 - The Comic Strip
Friday, February 29 - The Comic Strip
Saturday, March 1 - The Comic Strip
Sunday, March 2 - The Comic Strip

Upcoming Teaching
Dating for Shy Guys starts on February 25 - For details go to www.metrocontinuingeducation.ca

Upcoming Writing
Current Living Article is up here

Upcoming Living Articles in the Edmonton Journal (Subject to change)
Friday, February 29
Friday, March 7

Dan Brodribb's headLINES appears every Monday in the Edmonton Journal's ed online. Current headLINES is here.

A Pair of Singles (co-written with Dawn Dumont) Current article is here.

I was hanging around with Dawn Dumont while she shopped for an outfit for the TV taping on Tuesday.

She was telling me about a line they used on the Pick-Up Artist for starting conversations. The line is "Hey guys, is khaki a colour or a fabric?"

A few minutes later we were walking through the mall. Like many malls, West Edmonton Mall has been over-run by these booth things in the middle of the mall where people jump out of nowhere and try to sell you various Dead Sea Lotions and Potions and Facials and Kidney Scrapers and all manner of wonderful things.

Anyway, we were walking along when we were bushwhacked by this olive-skinned couple wanting to show us their wares.

For whatever reason, I felt compelled to blurt out: "Hey guys, is khaki a colour or a fabric?"

They looked at me with wide, horrified eyes.

I interpreted this to mean they didn't understand English well and did what all civilzed people do when speaking to someone who doesn't understand the language...I spoke the same words louder.

(I also grabbed my pants leg for demonstrative purposes. Since I my pants were a) blue and b) denim, I'm not sure that helped)

"YOU KNOW? KHAKI? IS KHAKI A FABRIC OR A COLOUR?" KHAKI! KHAKI! KHAKI!"

Apparently, in Hebrew, khaki is neither a colour nor a fabric. Apparently "khaki" is the Hebrew word for "human excrement."

You learn something every day.