For the record, in today's column, I reference the song Holy Diver. A great song, with horrible lyrics.
I'll prove it.
Here's the video.
And here are the lyrics, which are among the stupidest in recorded history.
by Ronnie James Dio
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me? 
Ride the tiger 
You can see his stripes  but you know he's clean 
Oh don't you see what I mean 
Gotta get away 
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue 
Something is coming for you
Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light 
Oh we will pray it's all right
Gotta get away-get away
Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel 
The vision never dies 
Life's a never ending wheel 
You're the star of the masquerade 
No need to look so afraid 
Jump on the tiger 
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean 
Some light can never be seen
 So far so good, I guess. The song is about a diver in the midnight sea.
 Huh? What do you mean, "what's becoming of me?" The opening lines referred to "you." How did we get to first person?
 And this tiger, is it also down in the midnight sea? How does one ride a tiger underwater?
 The Diver may be Holy, but he isn't blind.
 Naturally. The midnight sea is an excellent cleanser. Although why you would care about the tiger's cleaniness is beyond me. Also, how does the word 'but' make any sense. Shouldn't it be "you can see his stripes SO you know he's clean?"
 Sorry, RJ. I'm lost.
 Who's gotta get away? And now that I think about it, what the f**k is a Holy Diver?
 I'm not touching this one
 Hide in the sun? Are we still underwater? Or are we riding the tiger? Also, I would suspect, it's pretty easy to see the light if you're hiding in the sun. For the billionth of a second it takes before you go blind, anyway. Also, there's no racing for the morning in the sun. The sun IS the morning.
 Ronnie James Dio: I don't care if it's nonsense, I need a word that rhymes with "lies"
 Ditto for "steel." Let's make it profound nonsense.
 What's he dressed up as? Either that or this word does not mean what Ronnie James Dio thinks it means.
 Perhaps his Holiness has a fear of masquerade stardom
 I wouldn't, if I were you.
 See  above
 Maybe we've been blinded from hiding in the sun.