Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
New Suicide Girls Article Up
Read it while it's hot.
It's on self-disclosure, an essential skill which applies not just to dating, but to general conversational skills---unless you're working on a crisis line or as a ninja in which case it's probably a no-no.
There's a little more "straight technique" in it than in previous articles, so I'd love to hear any feedback on how people found the explanations or any questions.
It's on self-disclosure, an essential skill which applies not just to dating, but to general conversational skills---unless you're working on a crisis line or as a ninja in which case it's probably a no-no.
There's a little more "straight technique" in it than in previous articles, so I'd love to hear any feedback on how people found the explanations or any questions.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Roses Have Thorns They Say
Anybody who spends time with me knows I'm a fan of music nobody my age should still listen to. Most of the time, the lyrics to these songs are pretty stupid, but sometimes they surprise you. The Pussycat Dolls have occaisionally hit on some pretty interesting relationship dynamics. The lyrics to Rihanna's Disturbia, would cause many a Buddhist to smile and nod knowingly.
One song I've been thinking about recently is Lady Gaga's Just Dance. Is it a party anthem celebrating the power of music? Or is it about desperation and self-reassurance in the face of overwhelming evidence that you are making very bad lifestyle choices?
As someone who works in show business, I see a lot of partying, and there seem to be two types of people who do it. There are the kind who party because they enjoy it, and there are the people that do it to run from something else.
So which type is Lady Gaga singing about?
To me, the pivotal line is in the chorus: "Gonna be okay."
Does she really believe it? Or is she trying to convince herself?
To quote James Ball: "Discuss. Groups of five."
One song I've been thinking about recently is Lady Gaga's Just Dance. Is it a party anthem celebrating the power of music? Or is it about desperation and self-reassurance in the face of overwhelming evidence that you are making very bad lifestyle choices?
As someone who works in show business, I see a lot of partying, and there seem to be two types of people who do it. There are the kind who party because they enjoy it, and there are the people that do it to run from something else.
So which type is Lady Gaga singing about?
To me, the pivotal line is in the chorus: "Gonna be okay."
Does she really believe it? Or is she trying to convince herself?
To quote James Ball: "Discuss. Groups of five."
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
New Suicide Girls Article
Latest Suicide Girls article is up. You can find it here. The topic is dating cliches.
I've also been posting like mad on my Hot Chicks and Strangers blog, for those who can't get enough of my dating pontifications.
I've also been posting like mad on my Hot Chicks and Strangers blog, for those who can't get enough of my dating pontifications.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Cereal Monogamy
Have I mentioned how much I adore my day job co-workers? They certainly keep things interesting.
While making the arrangements with Someone Special--whose anonymity we will preserve by giving her an every-day, ordinary, generic female name, say, Bastet) to drop of the cereal at work, one of the women in my office overheard the conversation.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: Is your girlfriend coming here?
ME: She's not my girfriend.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: If she's dropping things off for you, she's your girlfriend.
I should pause to explain most of the people at this office are women. And they love stuff like this. Another male co-worker of mine is getting married and the Girls have taken it upon themself to make a countdown calendar for his impending nuptials and update it daily.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: I may have told Office Woman #2 about your girlfriend coming to visit. But just her.
OFFICE WOMAN #3: (coming up out of nowhere): Hey, when does this girl we've all been hearing about get here?
OFFICE WOMAN #1: Well, you shouldn't have told me if you didn't want people to know.
I shouldn't have been surprised. These are after all, the same women who upon hearing some of my woman troubles last year, considered the idea of turning my personal dramas into a skit and performing it at the company Christmas party.
It was an interesting feeling: three parts mortified and one part loving all the attention.
Then again, I write stories about them on my blog, so I guess we're even.
Still, I felt I needed to get a little emotional revenge on Office Girl #1
ME: Now, I'm worried she's going to stand me up.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: And if she does, the whole office will know about it! Ohh that would be so horrible. I would feel so bad for you.
OFFICE WOMAN #3: (from across the room) Hey, I'm on your Facebook right now. What's your girlfriend's name? I want to creep her pictures.
ME: She's not my girfriend.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: Hello? What part of "bringing you cereal" did you not understand?
ME: I don't really see how...
OFFICE WOMAN #1: It's an emotional commitment! When a woman brings a guy breakfast products at work, that's a sign that she's investing herself in him and he should appreciate her effort by not spending his entire Friday night playing video games with his STUPID LAME FRIENDS, when he knows it's the only time he and his girlfriend will have together for the whole weekend, because she's spending her only free Saturday this month helping HIS mother plant a vegetable garden. Hypothetically.
Anyway....
Bastet showed up and I went to reception to meet her....while a few doors away half the women in the office were watching on the security monitor, yelling instructions at the screen like football fans at a Super Bowl Party.
"Public display of affection! Yes!"
"Relax, you'll sscare her off!"
"No, you jackass, walk her to the elevator as she's leaving..."
At this point Bastet and I stepped into the camera's blind spot. Ten seconds later the reception phone rang as one of the women in the office phoned down for an update. Which was awkward for the receptionist since we were standing right beside her.
RECEPTIONIST: Mmm-hmm...Oh, interesting...Yes, that would be fine.
Afterwards, the ladies debriefed me--I was thoroughly chastised for not walking her to the elevator. OFFICE WOMAN #3 was most excited as she actually saw Bastet in person ("I walked PAST her on the way to get photocopies!")
I love my job.
While making the arrangements with Someone Special--whose anonymity we will preserve by giving her an every-day, ordinary, generic female name, say, Bastet) to drop of the cereal at work, one of the women in my office overheard the conversation.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: Is your girlfriend coming here?
ME: She's not my girfriend.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: If she's dropping things off for you, she's your girlfriend.
I should pause to explain most of the people at this office are women. And they love stuff like this. Another male co-worker of mine is getting married and the Girls have taken it upon themself to make a countdown calendar for his impending nuptials and update it daily.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: I may have told Office Woman #2 about your girlfriend coming to visit. But just her.
OFFICE WOMAN #3: (coming up out of nowhere): Hey, when does this girl we've all been hearing about get here?
OFFICE WOMAN #1: Well, you shouldn't have told me if you didn't want people to know.
I shouldn't have been surprised. These are after all, the same women who upon hearing some of my woman troubles last year, considered the idea of turning my personal dramas into a skit and performing it at the company Christmas party.
It was an interesting feeling: three parts mortified and one part loving all the attention.
Then again, I write stories about them on my blog, so I guess we're even.
Still, I felt I needed to get a little emotional revenge on Office Girl #1
ME: Now, I'm worried she's going to stand me up.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: And if she does, the whole office will know about it! Ohh that would be so horrible. I would feel so bad for you.
OFFICE WOMAN #3: (from across the room) Hey, I'm on your Facebook right now. What's your girlfriend's name? I want to creep her pictures.
ME: She's not my girfriend.
OFFICE WOMAN #1: Hello? What part of "bringing you cereal" did you not understand?
ME: I don't really see how...
OFFICE WOMAN #1: It's an emotional commitment! When a woman brings a guy breakfast products at work, that's a sign that she's investing herself in him and he should appreciate her effort by not spending his entire Friday night playing video games with his STUPID LAME FRIENDS, when he knows it's the only time he and his girlfriend will have together for the whole weekend, because she's spending her only free Saturday this month helping HIS mother plant a vegetable garden. Hypothetically.
Anyway....
Bastet showed up and I went to reception to meet her....while a few doors away half the women in the office were watching on the security monitor, yelling instructions at the screen like football fans at a Super Bowl Party.
"Public display of affection! Yes!"
"Relax, you'll sscare her off!"
"No, you jackass, walk her to the elevator as she's leaving..."
At this point Bastet and I stepped into the camera's blind spot. Ten seconds later the reception phone rang as one of the women in the office phoned down for an update. Which was awkward for the receptionist since we were standing right beside her.
RECEPTIONIST: Mmm-hmm...Oh, interesting...Yes, that would be fine.
Afterwards, the ladies debriefed me--I was thoroughly chastised for not walking her to the elevator. OFFICE WOMAN #3 was most excited as she actually saw Bastet in person ("I walked PAST her on the way to get photocopies!")
I love my job.
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