I think I'm going to grow a mullet. And a moustache. And possibly start talking with a fake Australian accent (I'd prefer Irish, but that's beyond my impression abilities, which are pretty lack-lustre for a stand-up comic).
I'm going to get people to sponsor me. They'll pledge a certain amount of money for every date I'm able to secure (I will post pictures so people know I'm not faking) while sporting my new follicle-accoutrements. I'll give half the money for charity and keep the rest. Then I'll write an article about the experience.
And to think some people actually work for a living.