I'm depressed right now, and I'm going to tell you why, but before I do, let me quickly say, this is normal for me and there's nothing to be alarmed about.
I'm just going through what I call a post-show hangover. This one is a little bigger than usual because I've been busier than usual for which I'm profoundly grateful.
I don't know if it's because of the amount of energy I put into shows has left me emotionally depleted, if I'm sad the show is over, or it's just from the feeling of coming back to earth--one night you're a star; the next morning you have to get up and clean your kitchen.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
That's something I try not to think about. I tell myself that the lifestyle I love is hard on partners. I tell myself things are a lot easier when I'm not in a relationship.
But there's always that quiet reply, scratching behind the walls of my subconscious. It looks at the things I've accomplished from mountain climbing to martial arts tournaments; television shows, short stories, and newspaper articles; recording, writing, and performing. I look at the most rewarding relationships in my past and the people who are still part of my life and says: When have you EVER shied away from doing something because it was easier?
I was telling the Slayer about my post-show hangover and she suggested it was like the Day after Christmas.
Maybe. I imagine it's like the Day After Christmas...if you're Santa Claus.
You spend all night racing around the world joyfully doing what you feel you're born to do, what you spend your life preparing for. The next morning, while everyone else is celebrating and opening presents, you wake up alone by yourself at the North Pole, your boots and red suit spread all over the floor cause you were too tired to do anything besides pull them off and fall into bed.
Your present is to clean up and start getting ready for next year.
This is where I'm grateful for my family and non-show business friends. I neglect them shamefully when I'm preparing. Often even when I'm with them, I'm not totally with them because part of my mind is occupied with thinking of new jokes or things to write, processing the lessons from last night's show or thinking of the things I need to do to get ready for the next one.
But being around them keeps me grounded. It reminds me there's more to life than preparing and performing, even though most days, I wish there wasn't. They remind me I can be a brother, a son, a friend, and a co-worker.
It's weird because I often don't completely understand my more 'normal' friends and I suspect they don't totally get me. I often feel like I'm waving to them from a boat on the river, not understanding why they won't leave the shore.
But I also envy the shore. I envy a lot of their lives. Truthfully, I oftenwant what they have...but I'm not willing to give up the life I love to get it.
I'm probably not explaining this well. Oddly enough, the best description of this feeling I've ever seen was in Georges St-Pierre's book 'Way of the Fight.' It's weird to see what feels like a description of yourself in the final chapter of a Mixed Martial Artist's ghostwritten autobiography, but there you go(*).
Today I saw my parents, my sister, and my nephew for the first time in weeks. It was awesome.
Last night I had dinner with a friend from New Zealand I had met five years ago when he was travelling through town on a work visa. We ended up hanging out the whole summer. I hadn't expected to see him again, but when he came through town with his girlfriend, it was great to get a chance to catch up.
Already, I'm feeling better.
Already, I'm starting to look forward to the next show.
And when the inevitable hangover comes, I know I can handle it. I know that lonely or not, depressed or no, all I need to do is look around and realize I already have everything and everyone a man could possibly need.
(*) Another thing I really like about the GSP book is how much time he spends in it talking about fear, indeed, it's practically the central theme of his book. I've noticed most performers downplay the role fear plays in what we do. Many non-performers think we're fearless. The truth is, many of us deal with fear a lot. We use it as motivation, learn to overcome with it, or simply accept that we can be afraid and still do what we set out to do to the best of our ability.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, June 15 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
That Metal Show
Hard to believe that one of the best wrestling shows I can remember began with me being very stressed out over a barely-working microphone.
Saturday, Revolution Pro Wrestling made their debut, featuring a guest appearance by wrestling legend Jake the Snake Roberts. It was probably one of the most fun shows I've been a part of in a while.
There wasn't anything fancy about it. No complicated matches or intricate storylines. It was nothing more than a handful of singles matches featuring guys who had learned how to do their job well over the years.
I've noticed over the years, the best wrestling shows are often the simplest. The more complicated things get the tougher it is for fans to follow. Perhaps even more importantly, the more complicated it is, the more mental energy performers need to spend thinking about what comes next.
I don't know if wrestlers are like me, but when I'm spending time thinking about what's supposed to happen next, I'm not thinking about what is happening now and a lot of the fundamentals--timing, rhythm, little touches that establish character--tend to fall to the wayside.
And if there's one thing I've learned in almost anything I've done from dancing to Distress Line, there is no substitute for the fundamentals.
Less complex means time to focus on the one thing that really matters--connecting with the audience.
The Revolution Show was great for that. Simple stories told by experienced performers. Certainly it made my job easier and more fun. I think it was one of my better shows as a ring announcer.
But wait, you ask. What about that not-so-good microphone?
I'm glad you asked.
An hour before the show I was sitting on a cheap chair beside the backstage curtain worrying about that damn microphone. More specifically, I was wondering how well I'd be able to perform with a weak sound system.
And I really wanted to perform well. Part of it was because I always want to perform well, but I had a little added pressure. You see, the person running the show--his first show--was none other than Heavy Metal (*).
Long time readers are familiar with Heavy Metal. For those of you who aren't, he's a wrestler who has been a fixture in my life and my most unpredictable adventures over the last few years. Read the archives. He's in a lot of them.
Over the years, Heavy Metal has gained more experienced not just as a wrestler but in the creative and promotional elements of putting shows together. Revolution Pro Wrestling and the Pick Your Poison event was the result of all his hard work.
I didn't want to let him down, especially since I was feeling guilty about how little I had contributed in terms of help or support in the weeks leading up to the show.
My chance to redeem myself was here and this goddamn Piece of Shit microphone wasn't going to let me do it.
You can measure the weight of a microphone in ounces, but this particular mic was weighing on my chest like Yokozuna. There's no way I can be loud enough to overcome this mic. I either won't be heard or I'll lose my voice. They won't be able to hear Jake Roberts and he'll probably blame me for the microphone. The show will be ruined and it's ALL MY FAULT.
And then, another voice.
Let it go.
Never mind what's out of your control. What CAN you do?
Seems to me I've heard that voice before.
What I could do, I realized, was the very best I could with the equipment and ability available to me.
And just like that, Yokozuna was gone.
The show went well. I let the crowd know when I went up about the problems I was having with the mic and for wrestling fans, they were pretty good about it.
It helped, of course, that the show was so good.
The wrestling was great. The show stayed on track. Jake had no problems making himself heard and having the audience hold on to every word.
And I was pretty good too, if I do say so myself.
If a show is terrible, there isn't much a ring announcer can do to help. If the wrestling is bad or confusing or the show is disorganized or disjointed, the crowd loses faith and once the show has lost credibility , it's really hard to do much other than announce weights and hometowns, explain gimmick matches and storylines as best as possible, try not to mispronounce anyone's name, and get out of the way without adding to the confusion. There's nothing you can do to make things better; all you can do is try not to make them worse.
But when the talent does well, something different happens.
The crowd starts to come together. Instead of being two hundred seperate individuals, their energy coalesces to form a sort of a group energy. I realize I'm not explaining this very well, so you're going to have to take my word for it. The important takeaway is this: once the audience is on the same emotional page, it becomes possible to work with that collective energy. Once it forms, you can learn to read it and--if you're good enough--start to shape and direct it.
If you have that, a good ring announcer can make a difference. Because you're out there for the whole show, you can get a baseline of where the crowd is and where they need to be. You know when to pump them up for what comes next. You can see when you need to stretch for a little extra time between matches to give them a chance to come down from what they've already seen.
It's a tightrope walk, keeping them engaged and entertained but not letting them burn themselves out before the main event. It feels like you're surfing on their energy or conducting an orchestra using nothing more than your voice--tone, word choices, volume, and even silence. A list of sponsors becomes more than just a list of sponsors; it's a way of letting the crowd catch their breath. Announcing match stipulations isn't just listing a set of rules; it's also a way of building anticipation and energy for the next match.
And if you're really good you can hit the holy grail of ring announcing--doing all those things without anyone noticing you're doing them..
Sure, glitches still happen. But when you and the rest of the show are in the zone, they don't matter. When a crowd is invested in a show, it's just one more thing that makes the show stand out, another opportunity to use your creativity instead of the latest in a domino run of disasters. Those mistakes are just another opportunity to use your creativity.
Saturday I thought I did a better job than I ever have in the past, mic problems notwithstanding.
But I couldn't have done it without Metal, Duggan, the rest of the boys in the back, and of course the front of the house crew--the concessions, merchandise, ticket takers and venue people that make it possible for all of us to do what we do.
I'm grateful to you all, and I offer congratulations again to Heavy Metal and his team. You did a great job.
Now let's talk about that goddamn microphone...
POST SCRIPT:
I was ecstatic to learn after the show that King Kash was planning to bring his mic and sound system to the next show. Right up until the next day when I read on the Revolution Pro Facebook page that he'd been suspended for 60 days for attacking Big Jess Youngblood and Kevy Chevy.
*Ring announcer sighs, wraps microphone cord around his neck, hands a goodbye note to the ref, and steps off the ring apron*
(*) I'm extolling the virtues of simplicity here, but in the spirit of transparency, Metal was involved in one of the most complicated feuds I've witnessed in two and a half decades of wrestling fandom, a Game of Thrones-esque epic featuring double- and triple-crosses, the tag team titles, the abduction and physical assault of one participant's wife, one near-riot (Have I told that story yet?), a cat kidnapping (no, really!), and a trip to Mexico that spanned eleven months, three countries, and approximately 4 927 tag team partners. It was awesome and incomprehensible at the same time. The feud ended with the principals on two completely different tag teams than the ones they started with--it was as though a war kicked off in 1987 between the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers and the Young Stallions and ended in 1990 with a match pitting the Quebecers against Power and Glory.
Upcoming Comedy
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, June 15 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Saturday, Revolution Pro Wrestling made their debut, featuring a guest appearance by wrestling legend Jake the Snake Roberts. It was probably one of the most fun shows I've been a part of in a while.
There wasn't anything fancy about it. No complicated matches or intricate storylines. It was nothing more than a handful of singles matches featuring guys who had learned how to do their job well over the years.
I've noticed over the years, the best wrestling shows are often the simplest. The more complicated things get the tougher it is for fans to follow. Perhaps even more importantly, the more complicated it is, the more mental energy performers need to spend thinking about what comes next.
I don't know if wrestlers are like me, but when I'm spending time thinking about what's supposed to happen next, I'm not thinking about what is happening now and a lot of the fundamentals--timing, rhythm, little touches that establish character--tend to fall to the wayside.
And if there's one thing I've learned in almost anything I've done from dancing to Distress Line, there is no substitute for the fundamentals.
Less complex means time to focus on the one thing that really matters--connecting with the audience.
The Revolution Show was great for that. Simple stories told by experienced performers. Certainly it made my job easier and more fun. I think it was one of my better shows as a ring announcer.
But wait, you ask. What about that not-so-good microphone?
I'm glad you asked.
An hour before the show I was sitting on a cheap chair beside the backstage curtain worrying about that damn microphone. More specifically, I was wondering how well I'd be able to perform with a weak sound system.
And I really wanted to perform well. Part of it was because I always want to perform well, but I had a little added pressure. You see, the person running the show--his first show--was none other than Heavy Metal (*).
Long time readers are familiar with Heavy Metal. For those of you who aren't, he's a wrestler who has been a fixture in my life and my most unpredictable adventures over the last few years. Read the archives. He's in a lot of them.
Over the years, Heavy Metal has gained more experienced not just as a wrestler but in the creative and promotional elements of putting shows together. Revolution Pro Wrestling and the Pick Your Poison event was the result of all his hard work.
I didn't want to let him down, especially since I was feeling guilty about how little I had contributed in terms of help or support in the weeks leading up to the show.
My chance to redeem myself was here and this goddamn Piece of Shit microphone wasn't going to let me do it.
You can measure the weight of a microphone in ounces, but this particular mic was weighing on my chest like Yokozuna. There's no way I can be loud enough to overcome this mic. I either won't be heard or I'll lose my voice. They won't be able to hear Jake Roberts and he'll probably blame me for the microphone. The show will be ruined and it's ALL MY FAULT.
And then, another voice.
Let it go.
Never mind what's out of your control. What CAN you do?
Seems to me I've heard that voice before.
What I could do, I realized, was the very best I could with the equipment and ability available to me.
And just like that, Yokozuna was gone.
The show went well. I let the crowd know when I went up about the problems I was having with the mic and for wrestling fans, they were pretty good about it.
It helped, of course, that the show was so good.
The wrestling was great. The show stayed on track. Jake had no problems making himself heard and having the audience hold on to every word.
And I was pretty good too, if I do say so myself.
If a show is terrible, there isn't much a ring announcer can do to help. If the wrestling is bad or confusing or the show is disorganized or disjointed, the crowd loses faith and once the show has lost credibility , it's really hard to do much other than announce weights and hometowns, explain gimmick matches and storylines as best as possible, try not to mispronounce anyone's name, and get out of the way without adding to the confusion. There's nothing you can do to make things better; all you can do is try not to make them worse.
But when the talent does well, something different happens.
The crowd starts to come together. Instead of being two hundred seperate individuals, their energy coalesces to form a sort of a group energy. I realize I'm not explaining this very well, so you're going to have to take my word for it. The important takeaway is this: once the audience is on the same emotional page, it becomes possible to work with that collective energy. Once it forms, you can learn to read it and--if you're good enough--start to shape and direct it.
If you have that, a good ring announcer can make a difference. Because you're out there for the whole show, you can get a baseline of where the crowd is and where they need to be. You know when to pump them up for what comes next. You can see when you need to stretch for a little extra time between matches to give them a chance to come down from what they've already seen.
It's a tightrope walk, keeping them engaged and entertained but not letting them burn themselves out before the main event. It feels like you're surfing on their energy or conducting an orchestra using nothing more than your voice--tone, word choices, volume, and even silence. A list of sponsors becomes more than just a list of sponsors; it's a way of letting the crowd catch their breath. Announcing match stipulations isn't just listing a set of rules; it's also a way of building anticipation and energy for the next match.
And if you're really good you can hit the holy grail of ring announcing--doing all those things without anyone noticing you're doing them..
Sure, glitches still happen. But when you and the rest of the show are in the zone, they don't matter. When a crowd is invested in a show, it's just one more thing that makes the show stand out, another opportunity to use your creativity instead of the latest in a domino run of disasters. Those mistakes are just another opportunity to use your creativity.
Saturday I thought I did a better job than I ever have in the past, mic problems notwithstanding.
But I couldn't have done it without Metal, Duggan, the rest of the boys in the back, and of course the front of the house crew--the concessions, merchandise, ticket takers and venue people that make it possible for all of us to do what we do.
I'm grateful to you all, and I offer congratulations again to Heavy Metal and his team. You did a great job.
Now let's talk about that goddamn microphone...
POST SCRIPT:
I was ecstatic to learn after the show that King Kash was planning to bring his mic and sound system to the next show. Right up until the next day when I read on the Revolution Pro Facebook page that he'd been suspended for 60 days for attacking Big Jess Youngblood and Kevy Chevy.
*Ring announcer sighs, wraps microphone cord around his neck, hands a goodbye note to the ref, and steps off the ring apron*
(*) I'm extolling the virtues of simplicity here, but in the spirit of transparency, Metal was involved in one of the most complicated feuds I've witnessed in two and a half decades of wrestling fandom, a Game of Thrones-esque epic featuring double- and triple-crosses, the tag team titles, the abduction and physical assault of one participant's wife, one near-riot (Have I told that story yet?), a cat kidnapping (no, really!), and a trip to Mexico that spanned eleven months, three countries, and approximately 4 927 tag team partners. It was awesome and incomprehensible at the same time. The feud ended with the principals on two completely different tag teams than the ones they started with--it was as though a war kicked off in 1987 between the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers and the Young Stallions and ended in 1990 with a match pitting the Quebecers against Power and Glory.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, May 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, May 16- The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, May 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, May 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, May 19 - The Comic Strip, EdmontonFriday, May 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, May 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, June 15 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
What Can I Do Right Now?
When the staff of the comedy club cancels the show, I’m outraged.
There were seventeen people there. Not a lot, but we’ve done shows for smaller.
I can’t blame the staff, I guess. They’re young. None of them are management. They just want to enjoy their lives and that means not wasting time and energy dealing with less than twenty people who aren’t even ordering drinks.
But I hate losing a Show.
Every time on stage is precious. It’s a chance to perfect my craft. It’s another opportunity to reach somebody or do something amazing. It’s what I spend my entire waking life these days preparing for. As I approach 40, my life has shrunk: the crisis line, comedy, dancing, writing, wrestling. These are the things that matter--everything else will just let you down.
I feel my jaw tighen and my teeth clench. My stomach knots.
I don’t want this to be happening. I HATE this. I’m thirty-nine years old. I’m becoming aware that missed shows don’t necessarily come back. I’m angry, yes, but there’s also an edge of desperation too. How can we not have a show? I NEED to have a show. This can’t be happening.
In the middle of the storm, a voice reminds me that by resisting reality, I’m wasting my time.
Never mind what’s out of your control, it says. What CAN you do right now?
I circulate among the audience as they’re packing up. I apologize for not being able to perform for me and encourage them to come back. I take time to plug my upcoming shows at the same club and tell them I hope to see them there.
I can’t always do much. But I can almost always do SOMETHING.
We all can.
Upcoming Comedy
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, June 15 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
There were seventeen people there. Not a lot, but we’ve done shows for smaller.
I can’t blame the staff, I guess. They’re young. None of them are management. They just want to enjoy their lives and that means not wasting time and energy dealing with less than twenty people who aren’t even ordering drinks.
But I hate losing a Show.
Every time on stage is precious. It’s a chance to perfect my craft. It’s another opportunity to reach somebody or do something amazing. It’s what I spend my entire waking life these days preparing for. As I approach 40, my life has shrunk: the crisis line, comedy, dancing, writing, wrestling. These are the things that matter--everything else will just let you down.
I feel my jaw tighen and my teeth clench. My stomach knots.
I don’t want this to be happening. I HATE this. I’m thirty-nine years old. I’m becoming aware that missed shows don’t necessarily come back. I’m angry, yes, but there’s also an edge of desperation too. How can we not have a show? I NEED to have a show. This can’t be happening.
In the middle of the storm, a voice reminds me that by resisting reality, I’m wasting my time.
Never mind what’s out of your control, it says. What CAN you do right now?
I circulate among the audience as they’re packing up. I apologize for not being able to perform for me and encourage them to come back. I take time to plug my upcoming shows at the same club and tell them I hope to see them there.
I can’t always do much. But I can almost always do SOMETHING.
We all can.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, May 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, May 16- The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, May 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, May 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, May 19 - The Comic Strip, EdmontonFriday, May 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, May 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, June 15 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Dear Nephew
Dear Nephew,
Right now I’m watching two of the people in my life I admire most--Slammer and the Middle-Aged Madman Vince Austin--exchange punches to the head while standing on top of a badly-dented aluminum ladder.
A lot of people don’t get this.
I don’t expect your mother to let me introduce you to professional wrestling for a while (the couch game notwithstanding). At twenty-one months, you’re probably too young and besides, knowing you the way I do, you’d probably be more fascinated by the shiny silver ladder than the two men risking life and limb on top of it.
But when you’re old enough, I hope to take you to your first wrestling show. You probably won’t get it then either, but you’ll still be a kid and whether or not you ‘get things‘ is for adults to worry about. I just hope you have a good time cheering for the wrestler with the coolest mask. I’ll even buy you his picture. He’ll sign it for you if you ask nicely.
If you’re old enough to read this letter, you might ask yourself: ‘It’s pro wrestling. What’s to get?’
Well. I’ll let you in on a secret. Pro wrestling is a lot like life. There is more to it than the things you think you see. The deeper you look, the more lessons you’ll learn.
We’ll start with this one: Your worst enemy is your best friend.
Wrestling’s most memorable moments are based on rivalries: Hogan vs. Andre. Steamboat vs. Flair. Raven vs. Dreamer. DOA vs. Los Boriquas. Tonight it‘s Slammer vs. Vince Austin. A wrestler is only as good as his opponents. The people that threaten his safety, push him to his limits, and thwart him at every turn also make him the most money, secure his legacy, and make him the best he can be.
Mankind couldn’t be Mankind without an Undertaker to throw him off the top of a steel cage. Steve Austin needed first Jake Roberts, then Bret Hart, and finally Vince MacMahon before he crossed the threshold from wrestler to household name.
This applies to life too.
Now your enemies won’t look like pro wrestling enemies. It is highly unlikely--though not impossible, I suppose--that an Elvis impersonator will smash a guitar over your head. But you’ll face your share of adversity. Sometimes it will be in the forms of specific people. Other times adversity will come in the form of social pressure to either turn away from or embrace a way of life that you know in your heart is for you. Sometimes it will even come from inside you in the form of self-doubts, fears, and anger. Those are the really sneaky ones, and we’ll talk at length about them later.
You’ll react to your enemies in different ways over the years. Some days you’ll fight. Some days you’ll run. Some days you’ll learn that there are more options than just fighting and running and those will bring you to new places. And other times--and I’m sad to say this--your enemies will beat you.
Believe it or not, none of that matters in the long run. Life is also like wrestling in that winning and losing matters, but not as much as you might think and certainly not for the reasons you might think. Results can be chapters in a greater story but they aren’t the story. That’s for you to write.
Your enemies will be ruthless. They’ll hit you at your lowest point in your weakest spots. They’ll run from you when you’re strong and then sneak attack you when you least expect it. They’ll cheat and play games with your mind.
You enemies will show you who you really are. They will show you where you need to grow. And in facing them down, you’ll see where you’re already strong and you’ll discover reserves in yourself you didn’t know existed.
They’ll give you your most memorable stories. They’ll be the fuel for your most improbable victories. If you let them, they’ll help you reach new heights, whether it’s the top of the world or the top of an unsteady, aluminum ladder in a three-quarters full community hall.
You can like them or not like them, but learn to love them. In their own way, they’re going to be behind your greatest moments.
Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, May 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, May 16- The Comic Strip, EdmontonFriday, May 17 - The Comic Strip, EdmontoSaturday, May 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, May 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, May 12 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Friday, May 10 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The Uncle Diaries (continued)
I like to think that pro wrestling has made me a better uncle.
When I pick him up, I always make sure to point out the couch, look around, and pause to let him drink in the moment before I powerbomb him onto the cushions.
Of course, he usually pops right back up and points to the OTHER couch, wanting me to do the same on every piece of furniture in the room. Way to make my offence look bad, kid.
That's our game.
He points to the couch he wants and says, "Dat."
I point at the same couch: "That one?"
He says, "K."
I plant him into the cushions. He rolls over and points at the couch on the other side of the room.
"Dat."
I point to it. "That one?"
"K."
Powerbomb. Rinse, repeat.
This kid is doing wonders for my core strength.
UNCLE DIARIES BONUS - A NEPHEW-TO-ENGLISH DICTIONARY
Dat: That.
K: Yes. Agreed. Ok.
Nononononono: I respectfully decline.
YoYo: E-I-E-I-O.
Of course none of them matches my favorite sounds--the shrieks of laughter when I chase him around the couch. And sometimes, when he makes no noise at all, but instead climbs into my lap and hands me a book to read to him...well, in its on way, that's a pretty fulfilling sound too.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, April 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Sunday, April 21 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Sunday, May 5 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Upcoming Wrestling
Friday, April 19- RCW, Royal Canadian Legion - Calgary
Saturday, April 20 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
When I pick him up, I always make sure to point out the couch, look around, and pause to let him drink in the moment before I powerbomb him onto the cushions.
Of course, he usually pops right back up and points to the OTHER couch, wanting me to do the same on every piece of furniture in the room. Way to make my offence look bad, kid.
That's our game.
He points to the couch he wants and says, "Dat."
I point at the same couch: "That one?"
He says, "K."
I plant him into the cushions. He rolls over and points at the couch on the other side of the room.
"Dat."
I point to it. "That one?"
"K."
Powerbomb. Rinse, repeat.
This kid is doing wonders for my core strength.
* * *
UNCLE DIARIES BONUS - A NEPHEW-TO-ENGLISH DICTIONARY
Dat: That.
K: Yes. Agreed. Ok.
Nononononono: I respectfully decline.
YoYo: E-I-E-I-O.
Of course none of them matches my favorite sounds--the shrieks of laughter when I chase him around the couch. And sometimes, when he makes no noise at all, but instead climbs into my lap and hands me a book to read to him...well, in its on way, that's a pretty fulfilling sound too.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, April 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Sunday, April 21 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Sunday, May 5 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Upcoming Wrestling
Friday, April 19- RCW, Royal Canadian Legion - Calgary
Saturday, April 20 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
More Thoughts on Performing (And 10 Tips I've Picked Up Along The Way
Lately I've noticed my favorite part of performing is when things go sideways.
I live for those moments. Firstly of course, there's the challenge of seeing how I handle it. I learn a lot from the unexpected, especially since those things are often ones I could never have predicted. The whole reason I rehearse as much as I do isn't so I do the performance exactly the way I practiced. It's so my brain is freed up from thinking about material; I can instead focus on the crowd or the logisitics of that particulary show. Plus, knowing my material means if and when I do get sidetracked, I can move back into it when I'm ready to take things home.
Secondly--and more importantly--that's what sets live performance apart. More and more it seems like entertainment is coming from pre-recorded mediums: television, movies, YouTube videos, recorded music. On recordings, mistakes can be fixed so everything looks perfect. Live, the audience can see fuck-ups happen. And I think those fuck-ups and deviations can make the show more real for the audience. They're seeing something they won't see on TV or hear on an album, and the only question is how the performer handles it. It makes them part of an experience they can never see on YouTube or download from iTunes. They're sharing a moment which will never happen that way again.
So if you haven't been to a live show in a while--be it comedy, wrestling, music, burlesque or anything else, I encourage you to check it out...perhaps even starting this very weekend with Real Canadian Wrestling ths Friday, March 22 at the Royal Canadian Legion in Calgary and Saturday, March 23 at Edmonton's Glengarry Community Hall.
You may be surprised at the things you don't see on television.
INTRODUCING SOMEONE ELSE:
1 - When introducing someone else to the stage, say their name LAST. Example: "This next comic has been to the presigious Just for Laughs festival and has toured all over this great country of our. Put your hands together for Andew Iwanyk" If you forget, you can cover by repeating the name at the end (ex: "It's now time for Doug, the father of the bride to give his toast. Doug, everyone.") The reason we do this is a) it builds tension for the audience and b) it helps the performer time his or her entrance.
2 - Keep introductions reasonably short, and once you start introducing someone, DO NOT STOP. Remember, you're building the audience's anticipation to see this person. If you start rambling, you lose that anticipation. Furthermore, the performer/speaker is backstage getting ready. If you start their intro and then stop to do one more joke or explain something, you're muddying the rhythm of their entrance: they don't know whehter to approach the stage, sit down and wait or what. The exception to this rule is if you botch an intro beyond recognition, in which case you say "Let's try that again," or words to that effect so both the person you're introducing and the audience know what's going on and what to expect.
GENERAL SPEAKING TIPS
3 - (from wrestling) Go slow. When speaking, keep your ideas short, and pause to let the audience digest or respond to what you're saying. "Last month...at Winter Chaos....you took something from me...You took my most precious posession, the RCW Mid-Heavyweight Title....and tonight....Tonight, I'm taking it back!"
4 - (from comedy) Be careful about asking too many questions. Instead of "How are you doing tonight?" try "Let me know how you're feeling out there." Too many questions can sound like you're pandering to the audience. Making statements lets them know you're in charge.
5 - (from teaching) Whether you ask questions or not, be careful of rising intonation? Where your pitch goes up at the end of sentences? Don't do that.
6 - (from teaching) If you find yourself fidgeting, put your hand on a desk and lean on it to keep yourself grounded. I've seen comics use the mic stand for this as well.
CROWD CONTROL
7 - (teaching/comedy/wrestling) Your first, best option for dealing with low-level heckling/misbehavior is IGNORE. In teaching (and comedy) trying walking towards the offenders without breaking what you're doing--often your proximity will often be enough to get them to stop what they're doing.
8 - (Comedy) When dealing with an audience response, repeat what the audience member said. That way you're sure the rest of the crowd hears it. It also gives you more time to think of how to respond.
9 - Tell the crowd how they're expected to behave. You can do this verbally--If you're teaching, outline classroom rules. If you're at a comedy show, ask for applause. You can also do it non-verbally: Good guy wrestlers get more fired up the louder the crowd gets. Bad guy wrestlers show frustration and cover their ears when crowds get loud, prompting the audience to jeer or boo louder.
10 - (Teaching, comedy, wrestling) Let the audience know what's going to happen. As in point 6, you can do this verbally and non-verbally. In comedy, the MC starts the show by letting the audience know who the headliner and feature acts are and asking for a round of applause for each. In teaching, I was told to let students know what they were going to learn and why, present the lesson, and then review it afterwards and reinforce the important points. You can also do this non-verbally. In wrestling for example, a good wrestler won't just pick up a chair and start whaling away on his opponent. What he'll do is prepare the audience for what's about to happen by looking at the chair, pointing to it, picking it up and holding it high, etc. so he gives the crowd a chance to process what's going to happen.
Oh and one more thing--and this will sound strange coming from someone who loves being onstage, but bear with me...
Don't be onstage a second longer than you have to be. This sounds counterintuitive, but it's a good way to keep yourself focused and purposeful. There needs to be a reason you're on stage and a reason you're doing what you're doing or saying what you're saying whether it's telling jokes, improvising, doing crowd work, or just stretching for time. But if you don't seem to be building towards something with what you're doing, audiences tend to get restless. Try to make each word or action count. You don't need to rush (I DID write a tip about slowing down, after all), but leave them wanting more.
Those are some things I've learned. I'm also curious about what others have found from their experience? Performers, what are your best tips for dealing with audiences? What have you learned in your time as a performer. The floor is open for comments.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, April 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Sunday, April 21 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Sunday, May 5 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Upcoming Wrestling
Friday, March 22 - RCW Aggression, Royal Canadian Legion - Calgary
Saturday, March 23- RCW Goldrush- Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
I live for those moments. Firstly of course, there's the challenge of seeing how I handle it. I learn a lot from the unexpected, especially since those things are often ones I could never have predicted. The whole reason I rehearse as much as I do isn't so I do the performance exactly the way I practiced. It's so my brain is freed up from thinking about material; I can instead focus on the crowd or the logisitics of that particulary show. Plus, knowing my material means if and when I do get sidetracked, I can move back into it when I'm ready to take things home.
Secondly--and more importantly--that's what sets live performance apart. More and more it seems like entertainment is coming from pre-recorded mediums: television, movies, YouTube videos, recorded music. On recordings, mistakes can be fixed so everything looks perfect. Live, the audience can see fuck-ups happen. And I think those fuck-ups and deviations can make the show more real for the audience. They're seeing something they won't see on TV or hear on an album, and the only question is how the performer handles it. It makes them part of an experience they can never see on YouTube or download from iTunes. They're sharing a moment which will never happen that way again.
So if you haven't been to a live show in a while--be it comedy, wrestling, music, burlesque or anything else, I encourage you to check it out...perhaps even starting this very weekend with Real Canadian Wrestling ths Friday, March 22 at the Royal Canadian Legion in Calgary and Saturday, March 23 at Edmonton's Glengarry Community Hall.
You may be surprised at the things you don't see on television.
* * *
While we're on the subject of performing, I occasionally get asked for tips or tricks for a new public speaker making a presentation or hosting an event. These are things I've picked up over the years either from comedy, wrestling, teaching, or the various other things I'v done.
Here are 10 Tips for Dealing With Crowds. Take what works for your situation and don't worry about the rest:
INTRODUCING SOMEONE ELSE:
1 - When introducing someone else to the stage, say their name LAST. Example: "This next comic has been to the presigious Just for Laughs festival and has toured all over this great country of our. Put your hands together for Andew Iwanyk" If you forget, you can cover by repeating the name at the end (ex: "It's now time for Doug, the father of the bride to give his toast. Doug, everyone.") The reason we do this is a) it builds tension for the audience and b) it helps the performer time his or her entrance.
2 - Keep introductions reasonably short, and once you start introducing someone, DO NOT STOP. Remember, you're building the audience's anticipation to see this person. If you start rambling, you lose that anticipation. Furthermore, the performer/speaker is backstage getting ready. If you start their intro and then stop to do one more joke or explain something, you're muddying the rhythm of their entrance: they don't know whehter to approach the stage, sit down and wait or what. The exception to this rule is if you botch an intro beyond recognition, in which case you say "Let's try that again," or words to that effect so both the person you're introducing and the audience know what's going on and what to expect.
GENERAL SPEAKING TIPS
3 - (from wrestling) Go slow. When speaking, keep your ideas short, and pause to let the audience digest or respond to what you're saying. "Last month...at Winter Chaos....you took something from me...You took my most precious posession, the RCW Mid-Heavyweight Title....and tonight....Tonight, I'm taking it back!"
4 - (from comedy) Be careful about asking too many questions. Instead of "How are you doing tonight?" try "Let me know how you're feeling out there." Too many questions can sound like you're pandering to the audience. Making statements lets them know you're in charge.
5 - (from teaching) Whether you ask questions or not, be careful of rising intonation? Where your pitch goes up at the end of sentences? Don't do that.
6 - (from teaching) If you find yourself fidgeting, put your hand on a desk and lean on it to keep yourself grounded. I've seen comics use the mic stand for this as well.
CROWD CONTROL
7 - (teaching/comedy/wrestling) Your first, best option for dealing with low-level heckling/misbehavior is IGNORE. In teaching (and comedy) trying walking towards the offenders without breaking what you're doing--often your proximity will often be enough to get them to stop what they're doing.
8 - (Comedy) When dealing with an audience response, repeat what the audience member said. That way you're sure the rest of the crowd hears it. It also gives you more time to think of how to respond.
9 - Tell the crowd how they're expected to behave. You can do this verbally--If you're teaching, outline classroom rules. If you're at a comedy show, ask for applause. You can also do it non-verbally: Good guy wrestlers get more fired up the louder the crowd gets. Bad guy wrestlers show frustration and cover their ears when crowds get loud, prompting the audience to jeer or boo louder.
10 - (Teaching, comedy, wrestling) Let the audience know what's going to happen. As in point 6, you can do this verbally and non-verbally. In comedy, the MC starts the show by letting the audience know who the headliner and feature acts are and asking for a round of applause for each. In teaching, I was told to let students know what they were going to learn and why, present the lesson, and then review it afterwards and reinforce the important points. You can also do this non-verbally. In wrestling for example, a good wrestler won't just pick up a chair and start whaling away on his opponent. What he'll do is prepare the audience for what's about to happen by looking at the chair, pointing to it, picking it up and holding it high, etc. so he gives the crowd a chance to process what's going to happen.
Oh and one more thing--and this will sound strange coming from someone who loves being onstage, but bear with me...
Don't be onstage a second longer than you have to be. This sounds counterintuitive, but it's a good way to keep yourself focused and purposeful. There needs to be a reason you're on stage and a reason you're doing what you're doing or saying what you're saying whether it's telling jokes, improvising, doing crowd work, or just stretching for time. But if you don't seem to be building towards something with what you're doing, audiences tend to get restless. Try to make each word or action count. You don't need to rush (I DID write a tip about slowing down, after all), but leave them wanting more.
Those are some things I've learned. I'm also curious about what others have found from their experience? Performers, what are your best tips for dealing with audiences? What have you learned in your time as a performer. The floor is open for comments.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, April 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Sunday, April 21 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Sunday, May 5 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Upcoming Wrestling
Friday, March 22 - RCW Aggression, Royal Canadian Legion - Calgary
Saturday, March 23- RCW Goldrush- Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Monday, March 04, 2013
A Facebook Status and Some Thought on Performing
A Facebook Status I wrote:
"You know those Eastern martial arts where they use your own momentum against you? My self-doubt is an aikido master. It's creative enough to use whatever I give it against me, resilient enough to never quit, and persistent enough to always be looking for opportunities. I am lucky to have such a creative, persisitent, and resilient force in my life--not to mention the chance to learn from such a Master of the Mental Martial Arts."
To which self-doubt replied, "That's not how you spell persistent."
He's a motherfucker, that Self-Doubt.
Hell of a speller though.
* * *
In other news, I've been loving performing again.
I have a bunch of half finished posts on various bits of performance minutiae from MCing, to some vocal and timing things I picked up from wrestling, to the use of questions, and a bunch of other stuff. The reason they stay half finished is because it occurs to me that very very very few people care about this stuff other than me.
Then it occurs to me instead of writing about it, I should be practicing it.
I don't know how other performers feel, but I love practicing, and I'm starting to love it more and more.
If live performing is sex, then the show is the orgasm--It's exciting, indescribable, and over all too quickly. No sooner have you finished than you want another one. It's also the part that people who don't know any better spend a disproportionate amount of time focusing on.
Practice is foreplay. It doesn't get the same amount of attention, but once you learn to love it, that's when you really start to get good. If you give it the time and attention and presence...the shows--like the orgasms--will take care of themselves.
"You know those Eastern martial arts where they use your own momentum against you? My self-doubt is an aikido master. It's creative enough to use whatever I give it against me, resilient enough to never quit, and persistent enough to always be looking for opportunities. I am lucky to have such a creative, persisitent, and resilient force in my life--not to mention the chance to learn from such a Master of the Mental Martial Arts."
To which self-doubt replied, "That's not how you spell persistent."
He's a motherfucker, that Self-Doubt.
Hell of a speller though.
* * *
In other news, I've been loving performing again.
I have a bunch of half finished posts on various bits of performance minutiae from MCing, to some vocal and timing things I picked up from wrestling, to the use of questions, and a bunch of other stuff. The reason they stay half finished is because it occurs to me that very very very few people care about this stuff other than me.
Then it occurs to me instead of writing about it, I should be practicing it.
I don't know how other performers feel, but I love practicing, and I'm starting to love it more and more.
If live performing is sex, then the show is the orgasm--It's exciting, indescribable, and over all too quickly. No sooner have you finished than you want another one. It's also the part that people who don't know any better spend a disproportionate amount of time focusing on.
Practice is foreplay. It doesn't get the same amount of attention, but once you learn to love it, that's when you really start to get good. If you give it the time and attention and presence...the shows--like the orgasms--will take care of themselves.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Getting What You Want
Weird that just after I posted the last link, I discovered this article.
It's interesting to compare the McGuiness article to the Jordan one. One is about a guy who never made it. One is about a guy who made it to the top of his profession and is looking back.
I guess the Buddhists are right. One way to suffering is to not get what you want. The other is to get it.
It's interesting to compare the McGuiness article to the Jordan one. One is about a guy who never made it. One is about a guy who made it to the top of his profession and is looking back.
I guess the Buddhists are right. One way to suffering is to not get what you want. The other is to get it.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Really Enjoyed This Article
I'm no wrestler, but as a 39 year old whose been in show business all his life, I guess I can relate to it a little.
http://deadspin.com/5984273/how-one-mans-hard+luck-journey-through-the-indie-wrestling-circuit-ended-behind-a-deli-counter
http://deadspin.com/5984273/how-one-mans-hard+luck-journey-through-the-indie-wrestling-circuit-ended-behind-a-deli-counter
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Interlude - Random Thoughts
I saw the most beatiful dumpster today.
It was green and shiny and leaning against a brick wall in an alley on blanket of snow.
And they say you have to go somewhere else to experience beauty.
It's always there.
We just need to pay attention.
* * *
America's Team reminds me of America.
That's right, from my Canadian perspective, the United States reminds me of the Dallas Cowboys football team.
They struggle beneath the weight of unrealistic expectations from themselves and from the people watching them, making it impossible to appreciate the good things they do. Our perception is distorted by the media lens which simultaneously hypes them up and tears them down.
And in the end, they're exactly who we thought they were.
Upcoming Comedy
Saturday, January 19 - Improv Burlesque A La Carte, Brittany's Lounge , Edmonton
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, February 16 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
It was green and shiny and leaning against a brick wall in an alley on blanket of snow.
And they say you have to go somewhere else to experience beauty.
It's always there.
We just need to pay attention.
* * *
America's Team reminds me of America.
That's right, from my Canadian perspective, the United States reminds me of the Dallas Cowboys football team.
They struggle beneath the weight of unrealistic expectations from themselves and from the people watching them, making it impossible to appreciate the good things they do. Our perception is distorted by the media lens which simultaneously hypes them up and tears them down.
And in the end, they're exactly who we thought they were.
Upcoming Comedy
Saturday, January 19 - Improv Burlesque A La Carte, Brittany's Lounge , Edmonton
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, February 16 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall
Writing
The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
FYI
I've started a new blog for some writing projects I've been working on that don't fit into anything else I do--so far it looks like essays on movies and music.
Oh. And counselling sessions with fictional 80s cartoon characters.
You can read it here.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, February 13 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall
Writing
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Oh. And counselling sessions with fictional 80s cartoon characters.
You can read it here.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, February 13 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall
Writing
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
"If You Were Great, We Couldn't Afford You"
After my New Year's Eve show, a drunk cornered me and gave me an unsolicited 'encouraging' speech about following my dreams and 'keep working' at comedy. He closed with "...Besides, if you were great, we wouldn't have been able to afford you."
There's something comforting about knowing your place in the universe.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, February 13 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall
Upcoming Music
Sunday, January 27 - Rexall Place - (w/Desousa Drive)
Writing
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Dan's Mindful Writings on Mindless Culture can be found at thecompassionatedegenerate.blogspot.com
There's something comforting about knowing your place in the universe.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, February 13 - RCW - Glengarry Community Hall
Upcoming Music
Sunday, January 27 - Rexall Place - (w/Desousa Drive)
Writing
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
Dan's Mindful Writings on Mindless Culture can be found at thecompassionatedegenerate.blogspot.com
Friday, January 04, 2013
How Do I Know I'm Doing It Right?
Here are some of the questions I‘m often asked while helping teach meditation:
How often should I meditate? How many times a day? Why couldn’t I empty my mind? What should be happening?
These are all great questions. Each of them has an answer that works for the person asking. But what they share is a single deeper question lurking behind them, which is perhaps the biggest question of all for new and experienced meditators alike:
How do I know I’m doing it right?
The good news is, if you’re meditating, chances are you’re doing just fine.
For one thing, the simplicity of our particular style of meditation makes it hard to screw up. You can explain it in a sentence: Sit still and notice what‘s happening.
It’s important to emphasize that it’s the ‘noticing’ part that’s important, not the ‘what’s happening’ part. Maybe you’re experiencing peace and serenity. Maybe you’re frustrated and distracted. Maybe you’re hearing the same two lines of a song you heard on the radio repeating over and over in your head.
Maybe you‘ll just be bored.
All those things are fine. They might not feel fine when they‘re happening, but the longer I’ve trained, the more I’ve come to realize that I‘m a poor judge of what I should or should not be experiencing.
If you’re sitting still and you’re paying attention, chances are you’re on the right track.
But for many of it, it isn’t enough to do it right. We need to know we’re doing it right. Or at least see some evidence that we aren’t doing it wrong.
I, personally, have not found that evidence in my sitting. I don’t find meditation any easier, more profound, or better now than when I started. It’s the same as it’s always been--sometimes joyous, sometimes distracted, always unpredictable.
I have noticed that my life outside of meditation changed. Other meditators have described similar experiences. So if you notice any of the following things, chances are, your practice is deepening whether you’re aware of it or not.
-Others tell you that you’ve changed even though it doesn’t feel like you’re doing anything differently.
-There is an effortlessness to your life. It feels like you are trying less hard, but accomplishing more.
- You experience what‘s happening more deeply when it‘s happening. Sights, sounds, scents, sensations…they aren’t stronger exactly, but you notice them more. You are aware of thoughts and feelings inside yourself that previously only existed in the background..
- You realize you still aren’t perfect and that meditation has not and will not ‘fix’ you. You are strangely okay with that.
How do we know we're doing it right?
We know we're doing it right when that question becomes less and less important.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, January 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2pm)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, January 5 - RCW New Year's Retribution - Glengarry Community Hall
Writing
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
How often should I meditate? How many times a day? Why couldn’t I empty my mind? What should be happening?
These are all great questions. Each of them has an answer that works for the person asking. But what they share is a single deeper question lurking behind them, which is perhaps the biggest question of all for new and experienced meditators alike:
How do I know I’m doing it right?
The good news is, if you’re meditating, chances are you’re doing just fine.
For one thing, the simplicity of our particular style of meditation makes it hard to screw up. You can explain it in a sentence: Sit still and notice what‘s happening.
It’s important to emphasize that it’s the ‘noticing’ part that’s important, not the ‘what’s happening’ part. Maybe you’re experiencing peace and serenity. Maybe you’re frustrated and distracted. Maybe you’re hearing the same two lines of a song you heard on the radio repeating over and over in your head.
Maybe you‘ll just be bored.
All those things are fine. They might not feel fine when they‘re happening, but the longer I’ve trained, the more I’ve come to realize that I‘m a poor judge of what I should or should not be experiencing.
If you’re sitting still and you’re paying attention, chances are you’re on the right track.
But for many of it, it isn’t enough to do it right. We need to know we’re doing it right. Or at least see some evidence that we aren’t doing it wrong.
I, personally, have not found that evidence in my sitting. I don’t find meditation any easier, more profound, or better now than when I started. It’s the same as it’s always been--sometimes joyous, sometimes distracted, always unpredictable.
I have noticed that my life outside of meditation changed. Other meditators have described similar experiences. So if you notice any of the following things, chances are, your practice is deepening whether you’re aware of it or not.
-Others tell you that you’ve changed even though it doesn’t feel like you’re doing anything differently.
-There is an effortlessness to your life. It feels like you are trying less hard, but accomplishing more.
- You experience what‘s happening more deeply when it‘s happening. Sights, sounds, scents, sensations…they aren’t stronger exactly, but you notice them more. You are aware of thoughts and feelings inside yourself that previously only existed in the background..
- You realize you still aren’t perfect and that meditation has not and will not ‘fix’ you. You are strangely okay with that.
How do we know we're doing it right?
We know we're doing it right when that question becomes less and less important.
Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, January 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2pm)
Saturday, January 26 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, January 5 - RCW New Year's Retribution - Glengarry Community Hall
Writing
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com
Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook
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