Tuesday, May 14, 2013

What Can I Do Right Now?

When the staff of the comedy club cancels the show, I’m outraged.

There were seventeen people there. Not a lot, but we’ve done shows for smaller.

I can’t blame the staff, I guess. They’re young. None of them are management. They just want to enjoy their lives and that means not wasting time and energy dealing with less than twenty people who aren’t even ordering drinks.

But I hate losing a Show.

Every time on stage is precious. It’s a chance to perfect my craft. It’s another opportunity to reach somebody or do something amazing. It’s what I spend my entire waking life these days preparing for. As I approach 40, my life has shrunk: the crisis line, comedy, dancing, writing, wrestling. These are the things that matter--everything else will just let you down.

I feel my jaw tighen and my teeth clench. My stomach knots.
I don’t want this to be happening. I HATE this. I’m thirty-nine years old. I’m becoming aware that missed shows don’t necessarily come back. I’m angry, yes, but there’s also an edge of desperation too. How can we not have a show? I NEED to have a show. This can’t be happening.

In the middle of the storm, a voice reminds me that by resisting reality, I’m wasting my time.

Never mind what’s out of your control, it says. What CAN you do right now?

I circulate among the audience as they’re packing up. I apologize for not being able to perform for me and encourage them to come back. I take time to plug my upcoming shows at the same club and tell them I hope to see them there.

I can’t always do much. But I can almost always do SOMETHING.

We all can.

Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, May 15 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Thursday, May 16- The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Friday, May 17 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Saturday, May 18 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Sunday, May 19 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Meditation Instruction (see website for details)
Sunday, June 2- Strathcona Library, Edmonton (2:00 pm)
Saturday, June 22 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)
Saturday, July 6 - Strathcona Library, Edmonton (10:30am)

Upcoming Wrestling
Saturday, June 15 - Revolution Pro Wrestling - Lorelei Beaumaris Community Hall - Edmonton

The Compassionate Degenerate's Hungry Ghost Cafe

Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com

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