Guns N Brodribbs and Aging Comedian Angst: Welcome to the Jungle

I hosted the Comic Strip's Hit or Miss night last night and I'm beginning to show my comedy age.

First there was the comic who refused to follow one of ANDREW IWANYK's impromptu performance pieces (in this case, with his co-conspirators JORDAN CHYSOWSKI and MATT ALEDDINE, the artist formerly known as Powermann), instead insisting he went on first.

I didn't mind accomodating his request, but I was genuinely surprised to hear him make it. When I started in stand-up, it was a privilege being invited to be a part of Iwanyk's debacles. And being the guy trusted to clean-up the devastation left in Andrew's wake...that was a badge of honor. Had I been in this comic's place, it never would have occurred to me to turn down the challenge.

Times change, I guess.

The second event was introducing in a new comic to the stage. After saying his name, I looked towards the stage entrance.

No comic.

I've had this happen before. New comics sometimes aren't ready for their cue and take their sweet time getting to the stage, leaving me standing there like a doofus.

Fucking amateurs, I thought.

Actually, what I thought was fucking amat--

Because before I could complete the eur in amateur, the Comic in Question leaped out of the crowd and onto the stage behind me like Diamond Dallas Page coming after NWO era Randy Savage.

Swerve.

The sound tech said I looked more pissed off than he had ever seen me walking off stage.

And he was right.

I would like to say that I was mad because the comic was unprofessional. The truth is, I was mad at myself.

I've watched professional wrestling for twenty-three years. Almost two thirds of my life, and longer than every romantic relationship I've ever had combined.

And if there's one thing I should know from all that time, if you call a guy's name and his music plays, and he DOESN'T show up...you better turn around because nine times out of ten it's because the motherfucker's coming at you from behind out of the crowd. Possibly with a chair.

If I don't pick it up, I could finish my next set laid out on the stage with NWO spray-painted on my back.

In other news, I had a dream last night.

Not a Martin Luther King type dream of little black boys and little black girs and little white boys and little white girls.

My dream was about Guns N Roses getting back together.

The only problem was Axl refused to sing 'You Could Be Mine'

Calling on my negotiation skills, I offered to sing instead, provided the name of the band was changed to Guns N Brodribbs.

Axl laughed and agreed to sing. Catastrophe averted.

The only part left was to teach Edmonton comic--NATHA SEMENYNA--who was singing back-up vocals how to sing 'with your bitch slap rappin' and your cocaine tongue'

You're welcome GnFnR fans.


WRESTLING
Saturday, February 25 - RCW Explosion, Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton

WRITING
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com

Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook

Our Futures Together

Our homework, should we choose to accept it, was to watch television.

I like this kind of work.

The class was a negotiation class. Our instructions were to watch a televsion program with some interpersonal conflict and identify the issues.

I chose a married couple who travel through time and space accompanying the title character in Dr. Who.

I want to be a couples counsellor for time travellers. Their problems are a lot more interesting for me as a counsellor.

ME: "Let's see Mr. and Mrs. Pond. We've talked for a while and together you've agreed that the four most pressing issues for you to address are: 'Information sharing,' 'Travel,' 'Timing of Rescues,' and...ummm...'Marital Obligations and Romantic Boundary-Setting vis a vis Future Versions of Spouses from Alternate Realities'"

So where would you like to start?"

WRESTLING
Saturday, February 25 - RCW Explosion, Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton

COMEDY
Monday, January 30 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

WRITING
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com

Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook

Eat Play Love...and Vacuum

If I were to write a best-selling memoir about my nephew's first five months on the planet, it would be called EAT PLAY LOVE. Although I'd probably have to work something in there about sleeping and pooping too.

I haven't written much lately. This blog was to chronicle my adventures. I'm still having adventures these days, but most of them are of a different type ...learning how to be a grown-up.

And who wants to read about that?

It's been an interesting journey. I've climbed mountains. I've jumped out of airplanes. I've entertained large and sometimes hostile crowds.

None of those things have been as scary or as difficult as learning how to be a Good Uncle and Family Member, Adult Member of Society and all-around Responsible Human Being.

Today's adventure was learning how to clean the filter on my vacuum cleaner, an epic rollercoaster tale that ended with my kitchen counter, my floor, and my entire body from head to foot coated in a fine, grey, dust. Hazy clouds of it floated through the air and settled on the plants, the table, and the refrigerator. My kitchen has become an archaelogical site, the aftermath of the eruption of a lint volcano.

Looks like I won't be wearing these pants to the show tonight after all.

It was kind of fun.

But I haven't completely become Dan Brodribb, Good Citizen. There's wrestling tonight. There's comedy later in the month. There's the inconsistently-updated-but still-brilliant Gateway Boyfriend blog.

Check those things out. I hope to see you there.

Just as soon as I change my pants.


WRESTLING
Saturday, January 14 - RCW New Year's Retribution, Glengarry Community Hall - Edmonton

COMEDY
Monday, January 3o - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

WRITING
Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com

Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook