Waiting

“The high-wire is life: All the rest is waiting.”
-Karl Wallenda

Being back from the tour has been an adjustment.

When you're on tour, something new and interesting is happening every moment. There's a new town to visit, a new crisis to be averted, new people to meet and new parties to attend.

And of course there are the shows.

Performing for a live audience is its own high. It's also like being part of a secret society in that only the people who know what it's like know what it's like. Each moment in front of a crowd is amazing because there is only that moment and then it is gone. You can REPEAT a joke, but you can never tell it twice because each time is unique. Every second on stage or in the ring is JUST that second. Once it's experienced--whether you're a performer or part of the crowd--you can never get it back.

It's a lot like sex in that respect.

It's also a lot like sex in that it is awesome.

It also means now that the tour is over, it's been an adjustment period going back to my regular rhythm. The pace feels so much slower. The level of intensity and focus required feels so much less. The parties are nice but they aren't...well, they aren't wrestling level parties.

I've had these sorts of 'show-biz hangovers' before. When you have a great show or a great tour, it's hard to go back to buying groceries, paying rent, and doing taxes. Last night you were a star, and today you have the same problems as anybody else.

I can see why show-biz types go crazy. Once you get a taste, it's hard to stop.

This week I'm working overnights. For the last couple nights I've been staying up later to acclimatize myself. It's strange being awake when the rest of the world is asleep. You're alone. Nothing to do, but go for walks, pace the apartment, and read, watch TV, or play videogames.

But always that restless feeling, like you're waiting for the rest of the world to wake up.

Maybe some of you know what I'm talking about.

Because that to me is what life offstage feels like most of the time. As rewarding as it is or as fun as it is or as happy you are or how much you love the people you are with, it always feels like life's color and volume is turned down just a couple notches. It feels like all the things you do--working, sleeping, eating, socializing--could really be summed up in one word.

Waiting.

Waiting for colour and sound to come back.


Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com

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