Sunday, June 19, 2011

What Do We Call This?

Man, I thought as I opened my eyes this morning. That was one refreshing sleep.

I wonder where I am

Yesterday had been a heck of a day.

There was the ten hour overnight car ride that turned into thirteen, singing songs to keep ourselves awake. By the time we got to the show, I had been awake for nearly thirty-one hours.

There was the first shows of the trip on a carnival midway in the Winnipeg heat, where I got to referee HEAVY METAL vs. DANNY DUGGAN and picked up some refereeing tips from the Honky Tonk Man and others.

Then it was time to pick KEVY CHEVY up, who had somehow managed to find himself standing alone in a field on the side of the highway.

Things get a little blurry after that.

I remember firecrackers going off, as the wrestlers attempted to demolish a model boat KEVY CHEVY had bought. Colored lights and sparks blasted past cars and into the sides of buildings and at least four hit BIG JESS who ended up on the ground. As Heavy Metal said the next day as we were all piecing the fragments of the previous evening togehter like particularly inept CSI Unit technicians, "You really can't explain in words how funny it to watch a grown man hit with roman candles until you see it yourself."

I remember AJ Sanchez and another wrestler offering to take us to a place where we could get a shower, and being the only one who accepted the offer, showering in a darkened building.

I remember riding to the club and HEAVY METAL jumping out of the car at red lights and giving posters advertising the show to other cars.

I remember going to a club and Kevy attempting a karate kick that ended up at shin level and trying to tear off his shirt with less than picture-perfect success.

I remember being so exhausted I just wanted to go to bed. I was ready to sleep in the car, but I couldn't find anybody but referee IAN SMALLS. I looked around the club for what felt like hours, finally said, 'screw it, I'm sleeping in the car' and went out to find everybody else already in the parking lot waiting for me.

Everyone piled into Big Jess' car except me, who jumped in with AJ. I figured since AJ was the person who knew where he was going, I was sticking with him.

Big Jess was supposed to follow us, but at some point we lost them, possibly because we made some stops along the way that may or may not have been completely necessary.

I felt bad for the Boys, but was congratulating on my cleverness. I, at least, would make it to the place we were staying--wrestler Bobby Jay's house.

When we arrived it was dark. I staggered down the stairs and crashed on the bed, noting in the back of my mind that the layout of the basement was different from what I remembered.

Bobby Jay must have done some renovations, I thought vaguely as I lost consciousness. But at least I ended up in the right place. I felt bad for everyone else, but what could I do? Hopefully they found somewhere to spend the night.

It was only the next morning that I discovered I was the one at the wrong place. Instead of being at Bobby Jay's house, I was at AJ's. To add insult to injury, AJ dropped me off at Bobby Jay's house the next morning where I discovered everyone else already there.

Guess they found the place after all--except for Ian, who ended up sleeping in the car.

A night this legendary deserves a name, and for those of us on the tour, it already has one.

We call it 'Day One.'

God help us all.

Dan's writing on Dating and relationships can be found at

Check out this link for information on how to get Dan's Dating for Shy Guys ebook.

Sunday, June 19 - Winnipeg Manitoba
Monday, June 20 - Dauphin, Manitoba
Tuesday, June 21 - Swan River, Manitoba
Wednesday, June 22 - Flin Fon, Manitoba
Thursday, June 23 - Thompson, Manitoba
Friday, June 24 - Gillam, Manitoba

Information on tickets and showtimes, as well as other details on CWE can be found here.

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