We've noticed one of you has fallen in love with the term "YAC Yards" and is using it profusely throughout your broadcast, pronouncing it Yak-Yards.
There are two reasons you sound stupid doing this.
1 -YAC stands for "Yards After Catch." So what you are saying is Yards After Catch Yards." Which is redundant.
2 - You are a grown man.
Please stop embarassing yourself.
Sincerely,
The Brodribb Males
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Made The Paper.
An article about love and self-deprecating humour. And there's a picture of me in my sweet, sweet, Transformers t-shirt.
"For Love and Self-Deprecating Humour" should be on my family coat-of-arms.
Article is here.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
"For Love and Self-Deprecating Humour" should be on my family coat-of-arms.
Article is here.
UPCOMING COMEDY
Monday, December 20 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Reading Abstience
I'm on the fourth day of my book absitinence experiment.
In that time, I've bought three pairs of jeans, a tshirt, several dozen songs on itunes, and barely resisted the urge to pick up a PS3 and several games.
Maybe it's time to go back to the library...before I go broke.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
In that time, I've bought three pairs of jeans, a tshirt, several dozen songs on itunes, and barely resisted the urge to pick up a PS3 and several games.
Maybe it's time to go back to the library...before I go broke.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
First Heart Way meeting of 2011 is January 11 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Dan vs. The Future
Vasalissa got me an ipod for my birthday.
I spent the next hour digging through CDs stressing myself out trying to decide which songs needed to go on it IMMEDIATELY. I ended up with piles of "Yes", "Nos", and "Unsures" blocking the entire apartment.
It was strange. One moment I was indifferent to the fact such technology existed, the next I was tying myself into knots deciding which songs had to go on it RIGHT NOW!!!!
I'm already thinking of getting a machine that will transfer music from casettes to some kind of electronic form.
Because music isn't just music. It's pieces of memory. Each CD I picked up, I wasn't holding a piece of plastic, it was the soundtrack to part of my life--here an all night drive to Manitoba with a couple of pro wrestlers; there's my student teaching experience; hey, look, this is the novel I wrote fifteen years ago or my taekwon-do workout music; the night shift at a video store or the hospital or the Support Network; the first girl I kissed; the first girl I WANTED to kiss and so much more.
It's more than music. It's my life.
Meanwhile, I've decided my addiction to the printed word has become unmanageable. As a small experiment, I've decided to go a week or so without reading.
I'm already experiencing pangs of withdrawal.
I spent the next hour digging through CDs stressing myself out trying to decide which songs needed to go on it IMMEDIATELY. I ended up with piles of "Yes", "Nos", and "Unsures" blocking the entire apartment.
It was strange. One moment I was indifferent to the fact such technology existed, the next I was tying myself into knots deciding which songs had to go on it RIGHT NOW!!!!
I'm already thinking of getting a machine that will transfer music from casettes to some kind of electronic form.
Because music isn't just music. It's pieces of memory. Each CD I picked up, I wasn't holding a piece of plastic, it was the soundtrack to part of my life--here an all night drive to Manitoba with a couple of pro wrestlers; there's my student teaching experience; hey, look, this is the novel I wrote fifteen years ago or my taekwon-do workout music; the night shift at a video store or the hospital or the Support Network; the first girl I kissed; the first girl I WANTED to kiss and so much more.
It's more than music. It's my life.
Meanwhile, I've decided my addiction to the printed word has become unmanageable. As a small experiment, I've decided to go a week or so without reading.
I'm already experiencing pangs of withdrawal.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Bungee Jumping, Elk Calls, and the Last Few Days
Today: Found a hole in the butt of my jeans.
Saturday: Bungee jumped for the first time.
Last Thursday: Dawn demonstrated her elk call in a loud bar which caused the bouncer and waitress to run over an look at me suspiciously.
Tonight: Heart Way Meeting.
Bungee jumping was fun. As a meditator, it's always interesting to watch you mind and see when you felt fear and how bad it was.
For me it wasn't bad. I had a moment of second thoughts waiting for the appointed time but it wasn't too bad. I was calm, cool and collected.
Vasalissa, on the other hand, was excited enough for both of us, bouncing up and down and barely able to contain herself.
We went to the top, got our instructions. I remained calm, even as they were strapping me in.
Even as the jumpmaster told me to go...
...even as I ran for the jump-off point.
..until the moment I reached the very edge, at which point I had an "EEK!" moment, curling backwards, pulling one foot in the air and going up on my tippy-toes like an elephant confronted by a very ferocious mouse.
Physics, however, would not be denied. I was carried forward off the edge by momentum, but that split-second hesitation meant I took to the air in a most dignified pose.
The fall was a rush. Terrifying, but cool.
As I bounced upward at the end of the rope, I thought, "That was pretty cool. I thought I'd be more scared."
Then I WAS scared as I reached the top of the bounce and fell again.
Nobody told me about the bouncing.
Once I got used to it, it was fun. Elevator drop in the stomach, the stop and bounce upwards, the feeling of weightlessness at the top of the bounce (WHEE!) before you fell again.
When I was finished, I watched Vasalissa jump. Her take off was much more graceful than I.
Afterwards, walking through the mall (We bungee-jumped in a Mall! We're Xtreme Mall Rats!) she looked around at the shuffling, shopping masses and said, "Don't they know what we did? I just want to grab them and shake them."
I remember that kind of excitement from mountain climbing. The first time I went with my sister-in-law, I remember walking back into the tourist center, looking at everyone else and thinking "these people have no idea of how it feels to be alive."
For the record, it feels awesome.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
Saturday: Bungee jumped for the first time.
Last Thursday: Dawn demonstrated her elk call in a loud bar which caused the bouncer and waitress to run over an look at me suspiciously.
Tonight: Heart Way Meeting.
Bungee jumping was fun. As a meditator, it's always interesting to watch you mind and see when you felt fear and how bad it was.
For me it wasn't bad. I had a moment of second thoughts waiting for the appointed time but it wasn't too bad. I was calm, cool and collected.
Vasalissa, on the other hand, was excited enough for both of us, bouncing up and down and barely able to contain herself.
We went to the top, got our instructions. I remained calm, even as they were strapping me in.
Even as the jumpmaster told me to go...
...even as I ran for the jump-off point.
..until the moment I reached the very edge, at which point I had an "EEK!" moment, curling backwards, pulling one foot in the air and going up on my tippy-toes like an elephant confronted by a very ferocious mouse.
Physics, however, would not be denied. I was carried forward off the edge by momentum, but that split-second hesitation meant I took to the air in a most dignified pose.
The fall was a rush. Terrifying, but cool.
As I bounced upward at the end of the rope, I thought, "That was pretty cool. I thought I'd be more scared."
Then I WAS scared as I reached the top of the bounce and fell again.
Nobody told me about the bouncing.
Once I got used to it, it was fun. Elevator drop in the stomach, the stop and bounce upwards, the feeling of weightlessness at the top of the bounce (WHEE!) before you fell again.
When I was finished, I watched Vasalissa jump. Her take off was much more graceful than I.
Afterwards, walking through the mall (We bungee-jumped in a Mall! We're Xtreme Mall Rats!) she looked around at the shuffling, shopping masses and said, "Don't they know what we did? I just want to grab them and shake them."
I remember that kind of excitement from mountain climbing. The first time I went with my sister-in-law, I remember walking back into the tourist center, looking at everyone else and thinking "these people have no idea of how it feels to be alive."
For the record, it feels awesome.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Time Share Babies, Flirt Rust & The Heart Way
My girlfriend and I have come up with the idea for Time Share babies. Twenty-six couples. One baby. Two weeks out of the year.
It's parenting for commitment-phobes. And if you start to miss the collective baby, you can always check the little bundle's progress on the communal Facebook group.
I think it's a great idea. It takes a village after all.
*********
Dawn's back in town and we went out to the bar a couple nights ago. I've had a girlfriend for six months and I can no longer flirt. This really bothered me.
DAN: I can't flirt anymore. See that girl over there. I couldn't hit on her if my life depends on it.
DAWN: Why would you want to? Your girlfriend is way prettier than she is.
DAN: (mournfully) Doesn't matter.
DAWN: And here I was starting to believe there were still good guys out there.
DAN: I'm romantically unarmed. I've lost it, Dawn. But you know what? You're right. I have a great girlfriend. What does it matter that I've lost the ability to walk up to a strange woman and tell her she has pretty eyes. My seductive abilities have atrophied, and I DON'T CARE!!!
(A Hot Brunette at the bar next to DAN looks over at this)
DAN: (touching Hot Brunette's shoulder) I do care, baby. I just tell people I don't because I get scared inside.
Hot Brunette gives a tight smile and hurries away with her drinks.
DAN: She deserved better than that. That was a poor effort.
Dawn and I have also came up with a sketch about a woman getting drunk and picking up a guy at the bar when she's still hooked on someone else.
DRUNK GIRL: You're cute. What's your name?
GUY: Derek.
DRUNK GIRL: No it's not. You're Steve.
GUY: But...
DRUNK GIRL: Your name is Steve...you work at my office....and you DON'T have a girlfriend...and you love me and think I'm pretty and want to have my babies.
GUY: I...
DRUNK GIRL: Make out with me now, Steve.
Dawn and I really should have our own show.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
It's parenting for commitment-phobes. And if you start to miss the collective baby, you can always check the little bundle's progress on the communal Facebook group.
I think it's a great idea. It takes a village after all.
*********
Dawn's back in town and we went out to the bar a couple nights ago. I've had a girlfriend for six months and I can no longer flirt. This really bothered me.
DAN: I can't flirt anymore. See that girl over there. I couldn't hit on her if my life depends on it.
DAWN: Why would you want to? Your girlfriend is way prettier than she is.
DAN: (mournfully) Doesn't matter.
DAWN: And here I was starting to believe there were still good guys out there.
DAN: I'm romantically unarmed. I've lost it, Dawn. But you know what? You're right. I have a great girlfriend. What does it matter that I've lost the ability to walk up to a strange woman and tell her she has pretty eyes. My seductive abilities have atrophied, and I DON'T CARE!!!
(A Hot Brunette at the bar next to DAN looks over at this)
DAN: (touching Hot Brunette's shoulder) I do care, baby. I just tell people I don't because I get scared inside.
Hot Brunette gives a tight smile and hurries away with her drinks.
DAN: She deserved better than that. That was a poor effort.
Dawn and I have also came up with a sketch about a woman getting drunk and picking up a guy at the bar when she's still hooked on someone else.
DRUNK GIRL: You're cute. What's your name?
GUY: Derek.
DRUNK GIRL: No it's not. You're Steve.
GUY: But...
DRUNK GIRL: Your name is Steve...you work at my office....and you DON'T have a girlfriend...and you love me and think I'm pretty and want to have my babies.
GUY: I...
DRUNK GIRL: Make out with me now, Steve.
Dawn and I really should have our own show.
Last Heart Way meeting of 2010 is November 9 at Woodcroft Library. Email thegatewayboyfriend@gmail for registration.
Check out Dan's writing on relationships at thegatewayboyfriend.blogspot.com and learn how to get Dan's DATING FOR SHY GUYS book.
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